Are you fucking kidding me?
This is a rant. I don’t usually go on rants, well, at least not online. Some of you won’t agree with me here. Some of you will think less of me after reading this & I don’t give a damn.
I received a message on Fetlife from a guy saying that he couldn’t believe I was still looking, that he was pretty intimidated by me but thought he’d take a shot at contacting me anyway. I liked how he wrote & although I don’t usually message guys back (I’m a bit of an asshole that way) him saying that he was intimidated by me hit a nerve. I know it takes a lot of balls to approach a woman so I thought I’d give him a chance.
His picture left everything to the imagination. I could basically just make out that he was human. His profile said he was camera shy so I didn’t press for more pictures. I simply offered to meet up sooner rather than later to see if there was chemistry.
A few hours before we were set to meet he messaged me to say he was searching online for my vids to watch. I asked him to not contribute to piracy/file sharing by downloading my stolen, pirated content. So, we didn’t get off on the right foot. I wondered how clueless someone could be?
Within 20 seconds of meeting him I understood the gravity of my mistake. The combination of the lack of pics & his opening line about being intimidated by me should have been a screaming red flag.
The hope that we would at least have a pleasant conversation quickly evaporated as he rambled without pause for 10 minutes straight about a topic I only expressed a vague interest in.
He also talked a lot about himself & I soon learned he was in his early 40’s, unemployed with limited prospects, no plans, & seemed to think the right thing to wear when trying to impress a woman was an old hoodie & unflattering jeans.
I had plenty of time to try to think of an exit plan as he rambled on and on without noticing I was hardly paying attention anymore. When I finally had an opportunity to speak I mentioned that perhaps he should start a blog about the topic he had been rambling about and he actually said: “I should blog. As you can tell, there’s no shortage of things I have to say.”
As I abruptly thanked him for coming to meet with me he started going on about how lovely I am and how much he would like to see me again. All the while I was slowly shaking my head no. But that wasn’t enough for him. He wasn’t picking up the clues. I actually had to say that I wasn’t feeling it. Not interested. Ouch. But anyone else would have clearly picked up the obvious clues (especially me abruptly ending the meeting).
He later messaged me trying to find some way, any opportunity to spend more time with me. Really?!
He seems like a nice enough guy. Maybe the kind of guy who would do anything for ya. I’m note sure. Hell, he could be a complete bastard too. It doesn’t matter. Here’s my rant:
From now on, if a guy says that he’s intimidated by me I’m going to take that as a clear sign that on some level he knows he’s not good enough for me. GOOD: BE INTIMIDATED. Some people are out of your league or just in a different league. I know that a politician or a guy from a high profile rich family who cares about public image is not going to marry a Dominatrix/porn star. I know that if a guy really wants a bunch of kids & a house wife baking cookies for the Church fundraiser that I’m not right for him.
If you’re an unemployed, unattractive guy with shitty social skills & can’t be bothered to be presentable for a first impression DON’T approach an ambitious, well-traveled, independent, beautiful, groomed, successful business woman who has a reputation for chewing men up & spitting them out. What the fuck are you thinking? It’s like hunting big game with a pellet gun.
It’s ironic that the guy I met with today started his correspondence saying that he couldn’t believe I’m still looking. Did he think that I must be desperate enough by now to settle for anything?
I recently received an email from someone who reads my blog saying that I’ll always be single because I’m a dirty whore. I’m not sure if it was hate mail or fan mail but no one can deny that I’m a pretty damn successful whore and a guy who wants to be with me better have his shit together too.
I’m not perfect & I’m not looking for perfection. I’m looking for realistic compatibility. Just because I have a fucked up occupation doesn’t mean that I’m going to settle for anyone with a pulse.
Grrr.
Mistress T
Members site: http://www.MistressT.net
PPV: http://www.clips4sale.com/23869
Blog: http://www.MistressT.net/blog/
Twitter: http://twitter.com/#!/MistressTdotnet
PS: For those who follow my blog closely & are confused because you thought I was seeing someone…well, it’s complicated. He’s still in my life but I’m still seeking… he is a bit of a cuckold & we’ve never been exclusive, sooo….maybe I’ll write a blog entry about non-monogamy & poly relationships at some point.
I am a millionaire many times over
I hold 7 college degrees and speak 5 languages.
I would have not problem with who you are in any way.
I am from San Diego California I have other homes in Paris Singapore Bangkok and now buying in Florida.
I have seen every major Capital in the world and can discuss any subject you wish
Why the hell don’t you give me shout and lets get to know each other..
Why you waste your time with such losers is beyond me.
with love, george
Oh george,
If only you were real. It’s not only that after allegedly earning 7 college degrees your punctuation & grammar sucks…but that your message here just reeks of complete & utter bullshit.
You see, Mr. Imaginary Millionaire, I have dated millionaires but none of them approached me like this…via a clumsy comment on my blog. A serious suitor worthy of my time would have better sense.
And to the rest of the world: I’m not a Financial Dominatrix or a gold digger. Bragging or dangling wealth in front of me will get you no where. I only care that a potential partner is financially secure, smart with his money & leads a well-balanced life.
To george & all the other georges out there: stop wasting my fucking time.
Ah Mistress, George the loaded polyglot is just winding you up – surprised you rose to it but obviously you must be really p*****d off over the other, erm, ‘gent’…
Dear darling Mistress T,
I enjoy your well-written blog. I like your charm and intelligence. Your honest, somewhat vulnerable response to the neighbor who complained that you were moving in nearby, and later apologized, was touching. But–forgive me for saying so–your agreeing to meet this (how else to say it?) complete and utter loser shocked me.
Dear Mistress, of course he was intimidated by you. ALL OF US who watch (and jerk off to) your videos are intimidated by you. That is the power you have over us and our cocks. That is why we love you–because you dominate us and break down the walls we use to hide our vulnerability. That’s how make us hard and make us jerk it. Maybe the most alpha of alpha males wouldn’t be intimidated by you, but he sure would be challenged to have his A game on full display around you. Not that he’d ever admit it.
Perhaps the source of your power is that you’re a beautiful, sophisticated woman who loves sex and isn’t afraid to do as she pleases. The kind of woman we can’t control. The kind of woman we fall for, knowing she’ll fuck who she pleases.
The kind of woman who turns the male ego on its head.
Dear Mistress, I know you’ve resolved this and won’t be fooled twice. I just wanted to remind you of who you are. I hope you don’t mind.
Thank you for being who you are and for all you give your fans.
With love,
Skip
Thanks hun:-)
Having met you in person, and having the privilege of serving you in session, I will say that you are as intelligent and intriguing as you are beautiful. The right guy is out there who will recognize just how incredible you are in every way Mistress T.
My name is also George and i only hold one degree. I also run a successful business.
Unfortunately we live thousands of miles apart otherwise i would not hesitate for a second to contact You in the hope to meet You and take it up from there
You are awesome
Well every prospective relationship starts with someone slightly more intimidated by the other, even if you don’t necessarily think it at the time. For example, you see a cute guy at the bar, and you cannot stop thinking about him, wondering whether or not to approach him etc.
I don’t know why though you think some will be put off with the way you write. That’s one of your more endearing qualities, that you tell it like it is. I think it comes with the fact you’re at a phase in your life where you clearly have some sense of what you want out of relationships and intimacy.
As for me, of course I’d be intimidated, not because I would consider myself beneath you, but because you ooze sexuality and confidence, and you’d be quite different from other women I’ve met/known in my life. It’s just a fact, you’re a well-traveled, educated and verbose woman. You shouldn’t have to compromise who you are or what you believe in for anyone else.
That all being said, I’m going to have to check out this fetlife, and put my name “in the hat” so to speak.
Or you could just send me an email. Don’t be scared.
Okay, be a little scared.
Boo!
Hmm, wouldn’t that be a bit too upfront/personal for you?
Maybe it’s just me, but that would seem bit more awkward. I’m more confident in person as opposed to online, where it’s more impersonal and hard to convey thoughts/feelings properly.
But hey, who am I to complain? Email would work better because that way, any correspondence is strictly between us and not a third party site.
Mistress T, when I think of you finding the right man, a conflict arises. Most men worthy of your very real beauty, intelligence, etc., don’t want a domme, or least they consider themselves entitled to a “faithful” woman, who is not in your kind of career. And a man willing to share you with such a career is very often going to be the guy with less to offer, more the “scruffy loner in hoodie and jeans” type. It seems like a problem.
I’m a lonely man with a lot to offer, and I adore you online, but in person I’d be in way over my head. It’s like you’ll have to thread a needle finding a man who is competitive at your social level– and yet who wants to take on your amazing lifestyle.
Nice blog entry, keep it up, things will be fine, you are A-OK.
What a jerk! As someone with, um, flawed social skills (-I score in the Asperger’s spectrum on psychological tests), I know enough that when I meet someone, I’m supposed to pay attention to them. To think, he had a chance to meet you and he wasted talking to himself (in your presence) probably about the same shit he talked to himself about on his way to meet you and then on his way back home. On the bright side, it was over quick!
Hello Mistress, I just wanted to say thank you for what you do. I do not believe you are a whore. You give men and women an outlet for their desires and I respect you for that. I hope some day that I will be able to meet you for a session. Anyway thank you for being you. A future slave if I’m lucky.
Good job Mistress, you have ev every right to be angry.
Honestly, I think the behaviour of this specimen who does not pay attention to you in a first date is extremely disappointing. For such situations, in my native language we say: “God gives bread to those who have no teeth”, to regret how many people get a prize/chance they don’t deserve or are not capable to appreciate.
However, I am even more shocked by the remark you got by e-mail. It is simply outrageous that somebody calls you “a dirty whore”. What happened to manners and respect? Unbelievable! If I have my opinion about your chances to meet your ideal partner, I will say it when/if you ask me and of course I would do it in a most respectful way.
Having met you in person several times, I can say that you are an exquisite lady, well-mannered, beautiful and with more balls than most men I know put together. You deserve a partner that is in your league, certainly.
I know you will not give up. 🙂
Ahhh the pleasures of dating!! It doesn’t matter who you are or what you do Mistress. Meeting someone online is a giant crapshoot! One of the many lessons learned from the book of Seinfeld is that most of society is UN-DATABLE!! Keep the faith, you are an amazing woman and you will find the man you deserve someday. This just proves you ARE human, and deal with the same pitfalls the rest of us do when it comes to the messed up goatf*#k that is dating.
Y’know, I think you’re allowed to be happy and be who you are. Screw anyone who expects less of you (not in a conjugal sense obviously).
Too many people view a relationship as a means to an end. The end being a kind of consumptive self-fulfillment, the means being through perceived alignment with another person, a perception that is then consumed. This is a mistake. Aside from the vertiginous realizations shared initially by ancient prophets, your comment flagrantly disregards the golden rule, the sublime Kantian imperative to treat another not as a means to an end, but as an end in itself.
It strikes me that you discuss this person as if he is a dull toy that you do not like. And there’s a unpleasant superior disdain emitting. Though he may be a complete dud in the sexual marketplace, your tone in dismissing him in that manner is rather lame.
Another does not complete you. You have everything you need.
I’m well aware that my superior disdain would be unpleasant & off-putting for some. I’m actually surprised I didn’t get more comments like yours. I even feel a pang of guilt knowing that the guy, who may well be a perfectly lovely person, read my blog about him & was hurt.
However, for once it was refreshing to be brutally honest. To not be diplomatic or sugar-coat my real thoughts. It was a rant after all & ya know what? THIS is what most people think in their head & what they say to their close friends.
If you’ve never seen the movie “The Invention Of Lying” I recommend it. Seeing how the world would be if everyone told the truth all the time is an eye opener.
Trailer: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=yfUZND486Ik&noredirect=1
And although that guy may feel like shit right now & hate me for this blog I bet next time he asks a girl out he’ll put on a decent shirt to show he cares enough to make a good first impression & I bet he’ll make more of an effort to listen & act interested in her rather than babbling on obliviously.
And I hope a lot of other guys who read this will do the same. Maybe it wasn’t the kindest delivery method but if even a few guys learn something to increase their chances of making a better connection than I’ve done more good than harm.
I make no apologies for being brutally honest & a bit of a cunt. No one should come to a Professional Dominatrix/Humiliatrix to be coddled.
Sorry but I won’t be kissing any one butt. Ms T you sound like a shallow person. You want things done on your term. It like with women you can never win. Either you talk to much or not enough. Whether you make 40 million or 40 thousand it not enough. Because the guy was intimidated or nervous doesn’t make him a loser. The problem is that most of the pressure from dating tend to fall on the man. I am pretty sure he meant well and was only trying to impress you but women are never satisfied. But I believe in Karma and there going to come a time in the near future when some look at you an say YUCK! Remember men age like wine and women age like milk.
You got me. I’m shallow & you can never please me…& I’m souring like milk. No one else caught it, but you did. Well done:-)
Thanks. At least you’re willing to admit it unlike many other women.
Mistress, I have been searching for you on Fetlife with no success. I am not the sharpest knife in the drawer, but I assume you are on there as Mistress T? Are you accepting friend requests? And to keep this on topic, I would love to experience your ‘superior disdain’. Sugar coating is for cereal. I am a Larry David disciple. I assume you have watched Curb Your Enthusiasm, and have enjoyed his take on social situations as much as I have. If you haven’t watched any episodes, you should start today because take on life is right in line with your rant.
Mistress_T_dotnet
Well said, Mistress T, well said!
“Be who you are and say what you feel,
because those who mind don’t matter
and those who matter don’t mind.”
Dr. Seuss
Finding a compatible fellow traveler is not a compromise of yourself, but it can make the journey more fun! (me)
Even though the date was a dud I think it’s really cool that you gave a “average Joe” a chance. I’m a serious daydreamer and I often think about what I would say or how I would act if I had a chance encounter with certain celebrities. It’s nice to know it actually happens to people every now and then. Too bad the guy tanked it.
Of course I would give an “average Joe” a chance. Why wouldn’t I? Or should I say: who else is there?
Only some of you think I’m some sort of celebrity. I don’t see myself like that & in Vancouver I’m just like anyone else. Any guy who dates me would be dating ME, not Mistress T. An “average Joe” could very well be compatible with me…I mean who would you expect me to date? Another porn star? I don’t live in LA. In Vancouver, we’re all just “average Joe’s & Jane’s”. *smile*
Average Joe might not have been the right term because yes, for the most part, we are all average Joes. I think it’s cool that you took a chance with a guy who was clearly a fan of yours. There are definitely levels of celebrity. I’m not exactly sure where you fit in on at the scale of celebrity, but you’re in there somewhere for sure, even if you don’t see yourself that way.
The guy obviously sucked, but I have to admit that I do agree that it is quite shocking that you are looking for somebody. I mean you are smart, successful, beautiful, have a good sense of humor, fun, you travel a ton and who doesn’t love that, and you just seem swell. You’re pretty much what every man or woman dreams of having in a relationship with someone. I feel like you could any man in the world, so I guess it’s refreshing to know you do give a chance to “Average Joe’s” like us, but I’m boggled why you don’t have the bestest Average Joe already. Maybe I’m missing something, but it seems like the bestest people in the world have missed out completely on you.
Thanks. The ol’ job might have something to with it, eh? Yeah…most guys don’t want to be in a serious relationship with a woman who has sex with other dudes on the internet. I’ve mentioned that a few dozen times before & it’s also pretty easy to figure out, but hey, it’s nice to know some guys like yourself can be so oblivious to it:-)
Ha it’s too cool and too cute to hear ‘eh?’ from a Canadian. 🙂 Yeah, the ol’ job might have something to do with it, but you’re an honest person and you obviously make the boundaries clear between your work and your personal life. Thus, if you say that is meaningless, that the other sex is purely work and doesn’t involve emotions and feelings, then it’s harmless.
Also, fetish-porn sex is quite different than ‘love, Daisy B, Great Gatsby’ type of sex. I would actually think that the fact that you do have sex with other men would be a turn-on for other men pursuing a serious relationship with you, as they should recognize that no matter what you do, at the end of the day, nobody else can really truly have you and that you crave and desire to be with your man on a level past just sex. Everybody else you have sex with would be jealous of not having that connection past sex. Love does not = sex, a fact that many sometimes confuse. So I wouldn’t quite say I’m oblivious to it, I would just take the positives out of the situation. 🙂
Marry me!
Hahah I’ll think about it. 😛 See you’re cute too! Men and women are missing outttt!
Hi there!
Any luck on the finding somebody front? Either way, I saw some pictures and was wondering if you’re in England or Europe now? Traveling the world? I’m in Europe too at the moment and well, would love to have a tea or café if you’re in the area. Let me know. Thank you!