Raffle For Free Session In London

Mistress T does silly glam

Glam with silliness. An enigma wrapped in weird latex gloves, wearing bunny slippers. Hey, somebunny loves you!

Happy New Year darlings! I’ve spontaneously booked a brief personal trip to London early February 2020. I have some flexibility in my schedule for a session.

Here’s my quandary: With so many devoted fans in the UK, how do I choose who gets the rare pleasure of my company? To keep things fair I decided to have a raffle. Please read carefully…no seriously, READ CAREFULLY:

#1. Minimum $50 to enter the raffle (feel free to send more!). That can be paid via the tribute button on any of my clip stores (links in signature at the bottom) or via a gift card to the grocery service I use. It’s not sexy, but it’s practical, easy & they accept paypal & credit cards: https://www.spud.ca/giftcert (Choose “Vancouver BC” as the delivery area, the name “MT” is fine & email address: “MsT@MistressT.net”) Be sure to put YOUR email address in the comments section so I can include you in the raffle and can reach you if you win.

#2. What’s possible in a private session? LIMITED activities that can be done in my hotel room without gear as I won’t be traveling with implements, strap-on, costumes, etc. So things that are possible are: Foot worship, Goddess worship (massage me), golden showers, humiliation, orgasm control (my hand or yours), spanking, spitting, ball busting, scent fetish, clothed face sitting, trampling, sissification/x-dress if you bring your own stuff, cuckolding role-play (I will not have a bull with me for cuck sessions). NO SEX, no oral sex, no oral worship, no licking me anywhere above the ankle.

Your session can also be social/public, like going for a meal or doing an activity together but I don’t do public play/public humiliation.

#3. Location: Central London, England

#4. When: Feb 1st or 3rd. I have personal engagements that will take up most of the week I’ll be in London but on either of those 2 days I can move things around to fit in a session for a couple of hours.

#5. Winner will be chosen on Jan 22 (NOTE THAT I EDITED THIS FROM THE 27th TO THE 22nd TO GIVE MORE TIME FOR SOMEONE WHO MAY NEED TO ARRANGE TRAVEL OR TIME OFF WORK). For discretion I will not announce the winner, I will notify him by email. When you send your tribute or gift card be sure to put your email address in the comments. If the first guy doesn’t work out for any reason I’ll pick another name until we have a session firmed up.

I’m sure I’ve missed something so if you have a question that you think others may also have, please ask it in the comments section here. If it’s a personal question you can send me an email but beware: I get overwhelmed by too much email & sometimes don’t respond for awhile or at all. Priority goes to those who have already sent a tribute. I won’t be keen to spend a lot of time corresponding with someone who is trying to decide IF he wants to enter the raffle. It’s $50. Chances are you’ve gotten $50 worth of pleasure from reading my blog, my tweets on twitter or free porn you’ve jerked off to on the internet. If $50 is that much of a stretch for you that you need to ask me a bunch of questions before sending it, just don’t bother, mmmkay:-)

Lastly, if you have a bottomless budget and want to secure a session with me without entering the raffle, send a tribute to prove you’re serious & then make me an offer. For the right circumstances I’ll find a way to fit in a very, very, very generous fan. To be clear: if you just send me an email without any kind of payment, you’ll be ignored. There’s lots of big talkers out there, show me you’re ready to walk the walk.

May the odds be ever in your favor.

xo

Mistress T

Members Site: www.MistressT.net

C4S (Buy vids or just send a TRIBUTE! I love random tributes!): http://www.clips4sale.com/23869

IWantClips: https://iwantclips.com/store/57715/Mistress-T

Manyvids: https://www.manyvids.com/MistressT

Twitter: https://twitter.com/MistressTdotnet

 

Goddess Worship/Body Worship (Male or female clients welcome)

Body Worship

Body Worship

I want to be worshiped.

Oil rubbed into every inch of my body. My soft curves. My smooth skin. And even though you are in heaven, I want you to be more focused on my experience.

So grateful to be near me, touching me, smelling me that you feel like you would do anything for me. You can follow my instructions but you also feel inspired to try something new, to play, to explore.

I want to cum. But I don’t want that to be the focus. It should be a natural part of the ritual.

You’ll be so elated to be in my presence that you’re giddy about it before & feels like you’re floating after, euphoric, without me doing a damn thing to you specifically.

If your heart is beating harder right now, you might be who I’m looking for.

If you think you don’t have the experience or skills, but damn it, you’d love to learn, you might be who I’m looking for.

If you think a women receiving pleasure without reciprocating makes her lazy, this isn’t the right opportunity for you.

If you think you can pretend to be what I’m looking for & trick me into servicing your dick, think again.

So, what’s next?

#1. My time is valuable & respecting that is part of worship. To apply you must do ANY of the following to prove you are worth my attention:

– Prove that you’ve purchased my book (paper, kindle or ebook): There Is More To The Story by Mistress T on Amazon

– Send a tribute via any of my clips stores or prove you’ve paid for my porn that you’ve consumed from any of the pay-per-view sites or joined my members site (Links in signature at end of this post)

– Prove you’ve donated/made a micro-loan to KIVA (see last blog post)

– Email a gift card to: MsT@MistressT.net (PP accepted) Spa Gift Card

– Send an etransfer (Canadian banks only): MsT@MistressT.net

IMPORTANT: Applications without one of the above will be redirected back here without further response. The amount doesn’t matter, it’s the gesture, showing that you’ve mastered reading comprehension, you can follow instructions, that you are willing to pay something to show you respect my time, etc.

#2. If I like your application & we set up an in-person audition in Vancouver a $100 tribute will be required to secure your booking.

#3. If I feel comfortable with you in person & want to proceed to a more intimate, hands-on audition in the moment you should be prepared to pay an additional $300. It’s $300 for the experience, not by the hour, the length of time is up to me & you should have several unrushed hours available should I choose to keep you. Ideally this becomes an ongoing thing.

I’m open to negotiating some things, like you can be in chastity, for example, but let me be clear: this is not about you. I will not touch your penis. So if cuckolding or orgasm denial is your jam: awesome! You will keep your bodily fluids to yourself unless I choose to have you orally worship me but there are no guarantees. I can be quite satisfied with you only using your hands. Over time anything is possible, but right now, I want to be worshiped like a Goddess, massaged, rubbed down, touched, caressed, adored.

Sure, it would be nice to have a sex ninja, tantra guru, or the swiss army knife of sex so I can lay back & fully receive plus learn new things…but I also have a soft spot for the inexperienced but keen to practice. This is also great for the type of person who wants intimacy or human contact without the pressure of sexual performance. I can show just about anyone how to touch me in the way I like, if you’re respectful, service orientated & keen, you’ll probably be fine.

Questions? I’m sure you’ve got some. You can try putting them in the comments below & I might answer but your best bet is to send an email WITH a tribute or proof that you’ve supported my work or a charity I love.

VANCOUVER ONLY: I will not travel for this unless you are willing to pay first class travel for myself & a friend + a very generous tribute.

xo

Mistress T

Members Site: www.MistressT.net

C4S (Buy vids or just send a TRIBUTE! I love random tributes!): http://www.clips4sale.com/23869

IWantClips: https://iwantclips.com/store/57715/Mistress-T

Manyvids: https://www.manyvids.com/MistressT

Twitter: https://twitter.com/MistressTdotnet

 

FREE PORN for doing a good deed!

I’m re-upping the Kiva Micro-Loan thingy again this year! For 6 years I’ve offered this year-round, but I push it a little harder in December. Here’s the original post with more details:

Loan $ to a worthwhile cause & get FREE PORN!

Basically $50 gets you a free month of porn. This year I’ll do 3 months for $100.

xo

Mistress T

Becoming a Better Man

I recently received an email from a 21 year old fella who asked for my guidance in becoming a better man. He said he didn’t have positive male role models & believed the tutelage of a strong woman would benefit him.

The skeptical might view this as a trick to get me to role play a fantasy with him, not to actually obtain helpful info to improve his real life…& as it turns out, you’d be right. After tweeting asking my fans for suggestions to help younger men seeking to become better humans the ungrateful rascal told me off for not taking him on as a personal slave. (I’m not accepting new slaves at the moment but he didn’t take the perceived rejection gracefully.)

No matter! I think the advice my fans provided was fantastic & I’m sure there are younger men reading this who would benefit so I’ve listed some of the reading suggestions along with youtube stuff that might be helpful. I haven’t read everything on this list but at a glance they seem to have value & positive reviews.

I’ll also share a few bits of advice I personally think is helpful for younger people:

– You have 2 ears & 1 mouth. That means it’s better to listen at least twice as much as you speak. Practice the art of active listening. Not only will you learn more but you’ll make better connections with those who love to feel heard (that would be everyone).

– To thine own self be true. Be honest with yourself about how you really feel about stuff. You can manage or control your behavior but your feelings are a different story. Learn to accept the full spectrum of your feelings: sadness, fear, anger, frustration, joy, love, excitement, nervousness, anxiety, lust, impatience, numbness, relief, gratitude, vulnerability, etc. Feel the feeling in your body, witness it, ask yourself what message the feeling brings or is there another root to the feeling (like the root of anger might be hurt or sadness or a feeling of being excluded, etc.) Accept the feeling with warm curiosity and non-judgement. Let the feeling pass when it’s ready. Don’t wallow in it but don’t rush it through or stuff it down wishing you felt differently.

– Cultivate empathy by trying to understand things from the other persons perspective. Your feelings matter but the world doesn’t revolve around you. Find the balance of empathy for yourself AND others.

– Have integrity. If you say you’ll do something, do it. Keep your word. Be reliable. Take the high road.

– Be kind for the sake of being kind. Don’t always expect an immediate reward for doing something nice for someone. Learn to enjoy the feeling of just doing something good or doing the right thing.

– Be grateful for what you do have. There is always something to be grateful for no matter how bad things get. “I cried because I had no shoes, then I met a man who had no feet.” – Mahatma Gandhi

– If having good sex with women in real life is important to you choose the porn you view carefully. Seek out porn with regular people having real sex/women having real orgasms. Most porn is entertainment, not education. Sex in real life is not like most porn which tends to lack intimacy, genuine connection, high-level communication, authentic female orgasms & realistic pacing with warm up. Try searching “ethical porn” or “feminist porn”.

Google search example: https://www.bustle.com/p/8-places-to-watch-ethical-porn-that-focuses-on-female-pleasure-according-to-a-feminist-pornographer-9108930

There’s a lot more I could say but I understand attention spans are short. Do your own research to find what resonates with you! There’s loads of stuff on youtube & plenty of great podcasts, TedTalks, etc. The internet is full of helpful stuff to improve yourself. If having a good therapist is accessible to you either through work/an employee assistance program or if you can afford one, there’s hardly anyone that can’t benefit from therapy. Seek good friendships with men & women of different ages. Be there for them, build your own community to learn from each other. Learn to care about others feelings & how to share your feelings in a way that connects you with others authentically. Lastly, be kind to yourself. Be the best friend, parent, cheerleader, confidant to yourself you could ever want or need. Self care, yo.

Reading suggestions:

The Tao of Pooh & The Te of Piglet by Benjamin Hoff

Audiobook for the Tao of Pooh: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ksVgOSJ_Kv0

 

Models: Attract Women Through Honesty by Mark Manson

Top 5 lessons from “Attract Women Through Honesty”: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Hs0d7Da8ufo

 

Way of the Peaceful Warrior and its sequel by Dan Millman

Dan Millman’s TedTalk: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=MDL85fzdc1g

 

The Alchemist by Paulo Coelho

 

The Four Agreements by Miguel Ruiz with Janet Mills

Helpful vid on The Four Agreements on youtube: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=HElfaDPwZ6c

 

Man’s Search for Meaning by Viktor Frankl

Audiobook for “Man’s Search for Meaning” on youtube: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zF65lvwQPbw

 

Ishmael- Daniel Quinn

 

Tao of the Wu by Rza

Some of Rza on YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Th-CEx-NEms

 

A Heartbreaking Work of Staggering Genius by David Eggers

 

The Descent of Man by Grayson Perry

 

The Courage To Be Disliked- Ichiro Kishimi and Fumitake Koga

 

Zen & The Art of Motorcycle Maintenance by Robert M. Pirsig

(Without even reading this great book the story of it may be inspirational in terms of tenacity: “Pirsig received a remarkable 126 rejections before an editor finally accepted it for publication–and he did so thinking it would never make a bit of profit. Then it was on best-selling lists for decades. Initially, the book sold at least 5 million copies worldwide.”

Audiobook of Zen & the Art of” on youtube: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ClA9wO8GaqQ

xo

Mistress T

PS: Got suggestions? Please put them in the comments! Thanks!

A Not So Unlikely Friendship with TS Rianna James

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Those who have followed me closely might have noticed some hot scenes featuring women with cocks. Some of those scenes are particularly hot because of my acute attraction to the person. I don’t have a fetish for trans women as a concept, I’ve just really been into some who I’ve had the opportunity to work with.

I confess, when I first saw Rianna, I didn’t know she was trans. I just thought she was a sexy human. I found her smile infectious. We’d run into each other at parties, we had many mutual friends & acquaintances. There might have been flirting.

I liked her as a person & eventually I was intrigued by the idea of what she had under her skirt.

rianna1

We’ve become closer lately & I’ve enjoyed taking pics & vids of her. You might find it titillating knowing that I was behind the camera for recent & upcoming pics/vids.

Rianna loves interacting with fans on cam. Like, really loves it. She’s quite the expert on many sexual topics & I feel she has a lot to teach guys about orgasm control, ass play, water sports, worship, BDSM, sexual health, as well as combining some holistic techniques to achieve better orgasms.

She doesn’t need any promotion from me. She’s plenty busy & turns business away as she also has a well-balanced personal life. (Though if you’re curious: https://www.tsriannajames.com/) I guess I just want to brag about a neat person I’m getting to know…& to do one of those things I’m passionate about: humanizing sex workers. Trans sex workers in particular are often objectified. Rianna is a playful sex tsunami but she’s also a great cook, likes flower arranging, is sweet to my pet Lovebird, enjoys yoga, watches at least an hour every day of educational youtube vids to expand her knowledge & is good to people. She’s got her head screwed on right & her positive attitude has injected some lovely energy into my life.

rianna2 rianna3 rianna4

xo

Mistress T

Members Site: www.MistressT.net

C4S (Buy vids or just send a TRIBUTE! I love random tributes!): http://www.clips4sale.com/23869

IWantClips: https://iwantclips.com/store/57715/Mistress-T

Manyvids: https://www.manyvids.com/MistressT

Twitter: https://twitter.com/MistressTdotnet

Audiobook is finally available!

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I know, it’s been far too long. Somehow you managed to survive without me updating my blog. Well done!

The current big news: my audiobook is finally out. I narrated it myself & I’m proud of how it turned out. It’s professionally recorded & edited. Nearly 11 hours of listening to my velvety voice: lucky you!

Available via Audible/Amazon/itunes: https://www.audible.com/pd/There-Is-More-to-the-Story-Audiobook

Since I released the printed version of my book last December I’ve been really touched by the feedback. It’s not just my first book, it’s my life story. Vulnerable? Oh yeah. So many of you have written to tell me how you felt about my book and I appreciate the support more than you’ll ever know.

You can also find it on Amazon along with the paperback & kindle versions: https://www.amazon.com/There-More-Story-Mistress-T

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If you haven’t read or listened to my story I hope you will. It is more important to me than anything else right now. I don’t say that to “sell more books” for financial gain, it’s more about humanizing myself & other sex workers in ways that most fans don’t usually get opportunities to experience. In this age of porn I feel that is vitally important. Even for those who don’t think they objectify sex workers, this book will likely still shift your perspective.

Having said that, even after discovering what the T stands for (it’s in the book!) kindly address me by my chosen professional name, Mistress T, if you choose to write to me. Cheers.

Please rate & review! Thanks again for your support!

xo

Mistress T

Let’s catch up!

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Hello darlings,

It’s been awhile so we have much to catch up on!

My book came out in December which ended up being more emotional than I had prepared for. If you’re one of the many who have now read it you might think it naive for me to say that but it was all logistics at the end, pushing to get it out before xmas. When the feedback started to come in I was a bit caught off guard. The first wave came from my keenest fans and closest peers in the industry, so the feedback was effusive, often very personal and intimate.

I then made the book available to my personal circle, something I hadn’t thought I’d do but the feedback was so positive from the adult industry I decided to make myself even more vulnerable by inviting people in my private life to read it. I have a fairly large social circle having been an active part of the kink party and sex party or “swinger” community for many years.

I’ve already used the term “vulnerable” which describes the feeling most accurately. The interesting thing about that is how it gives others permission to be vulnerable too. Most readers connect with certain aspects of the book, specifically the harder parts. I don’t want to spoil it for anyone who hasn’t read it but I think something meaningful happens when two people connect over a similar challenging experience.

I said it was an emotional time so it bears explaining that my primary relationship of the last few years also ended in the fall. When I made the post about open relationships being the cats ass, all was well. It was actually the healthiest relationship I’d ever had until the last end. I’ll spare you the details. Break-ups are as common as breathing air & the details are really only interesting to those involved.

After the break up I released the book & went on a bit of a rampage, as you do. Sex parties & debauchery. No one could say my life is boring!

I also ended up with a cute pet Lovebird who has been such a joy. She’s very social, loves to be on me as much as possible but can be a little bratty & bitey. Sometimes I feel like I’m dealing with a 4 inch version of myself. Such attitude!

So I’ve been fucking & partying my way through the Canadian winter, basically, while mourning & processing the end of the relationship. I’m grateful for the support of wonderful old & new friends. Lots of sweet cuddling, meaningful conversations & genuine human connection lubricated by a few drinks & punctuated by lots of luscious orgasms.

I have started to work on another book, fiction this time & in collaboration with a professional writer. It will likely take a couple years so don’t get too excited yet. I’m passionate about the project & it’s nice to feel that. I won’t say much about it now but I assure you that my fans will find it irresistible.

I’m toying with the idea of working more behind the camera. In the fall I enjoyed running camera & directing a couple of scenes for Samantha Mack. I may work with a local mainstream performer who wants to start creating her own FemDom/fetish content, most likely cuckolding. It would be nice to pass on some of the knowledge I’ve amassed in the last decade. Stay tuned for that collaboration.

Speaking of cuckolding…I am now open to meeting men who are interested in a real life cuckolding relationship.

1. He must live in Vancouver. I am 100% NOT interested in a long distance thing even if there is the potential to move here at some point.

2. He must be financially secure. I am not looking for a client but I’m also not looking for someone who may need my financial support at some point.

3. He must be emotionally mature & a high level communicator.

4. He must LOVE me having sex with other men & women. I prefer he not be with others unless I arrange it. I know, I’m a control freak but there are men who are into this arrangement, I’ve talked to dozens over the years.

5. I must like him, respect him & genuinely enjoy his company. I’m looking for more of a loving cuckold relationship. I don’t mind a little playful verbal humiliation but if he really needs to be degraded or demeaned, I’m not into it.

6. I do not care if he wants to be in chastity or not, if he has a working penis or not, if he wants to be denied orgasms or have them controlled. I don’t care if he’s bisexual or if he does or does not want to suck cock/eat cum. Pussy licking is mandatory though. He must love worshiping pussy & be willing to take instruction to learn how I like it.

7. I don’t particularly care how old he is but for compatibility I think within 10 years of me one way or the other would be best. I’m 42, so I likely won’t have much in common with a 25 year old or a 60 year old. You’re welcome to try to prove me wrong but please don’t waste my time. I am selective.

The ideal candidate would be mid 30’s to mid 40’s, be really into his partner having sex with other men but prefers to be devoted to one woman himself. He should be self aware & able to communicate his feelings as well as empathetic & considerate of others. He needs to have his shit together in life in general.

Note: You would not be involved with filming. You would not be an onscreen cuckold. This would be a personal relationship completely outside of my work.

Sound like you? Send me an email of introduction. I will ask anyone interested to read my book before I’ll meet them. It’s not to jack up book sales as the book was never designed to make me money, but if you read the book you’ll understand why it’s mandatory.

Here’s the link to my book “There Is More To The Story” on Amazon, kindle & paperback: https://www.amazon.ca/There-More-Story-Mistress-T

Email: MsT@MistressT.net (Stop. Before you get excited & send a stupid email with one hand on your dick, think. You won’t get a second chance to make a first impression. I’ve said I’m looking for someone emotionally mature. It’s hard to fake that. You’re not writing to the fantasy character “Mistress T”. You’re writing to the very real life multidimensional human who is looking for a real life relationship that has absolutely nothing to do with her job. If you haven’t read my book yet I strongly recommend you do so before writing me. Don’t worry, I don’t expect very many applicants due to the narrow geographic area of Vancouver only, so there’s no rush.)

xo

Mistress T

Members Site: www.MistressT.net

C4S (Buy vids or just send a TRIBUTE! I love random tributes!): http://www.clips4sale.com/23869

IWantClips: https://iwantclips.com/store/57715/Mistress-T

Manyvids: https://www.manyvids.com/MistressT

Twitter: https://twitter.com/MistressTdotnet

 

Great news: My book is officially published!

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My book is officially published, launched & paperbacks are starting to be delivered!

After three years of working on it, I can tell you that it’s a big relief. The kindle version has already sold very well and the positive feedback is pouring in. There’s quite a few reviews posted on Amazon but I’ve received far more directly. An emotional part of this journey I  hadn’t quite prepared for was the one-on-one discussions with people. Some of whom I know, some I don’t, who have read the book & feel the need to talk with me about it.

I’m told it’s hard to put down and an emotional roller coaster. Certain parts seem to really hit a nerve for a lot of people.

You can find it on Amazon (which ever one is right for you). You can search “There Is More To The Story” by Mistress T. It’s available on Kindle or paperback.

Here’s the link for Amazon.com:

https://www.amazon.com/There-More-Story-Mistress-T/dp/1999555104/ref=tmm_pap_swatch_0?_encoding=UTF8&qid=1546906000&sr=8-1

Please rate & review on Amazon, it really helps! xo

Frequently asked questions:

“Will there be an audio book with me (Mistress T) narrating?” ~ This always was & still is the plan but I have yet to figure out how to do this, technically. I’m working on it. No ETA.

“The paperback is showing as out of stock on Amazon, when will it be available?” ~ It is available. Order it anyway even if it says it’s out of stock. It will likely come way faster than it says it will.

“Can I get a signed copy?” ~ Yes, but…I consider this to be a luxury. This isn’t a cash grab for me, I just really don’t enjoy the process of going to the post office to mail things and no, I don’t have a slave to do stuff like that for me. The book itself also costs me. So I’ve listed the price as $200USD including shipping for a signed copy. The kindle version is less than $10 & the paperback around $25 so there are certainly options for any budget. To order a signed copy please send the $200 payment via the tribute button on either Clips4sale or IWantClips (links in signature below) & include in the comments your email address, mailing address & who to sign the book to. You can also email me to make other arrangements: MsT@MistressT.net

“Which way of buying is better/more profitable for the author?” ~ The best thing you can do is rate & review it on Amazon. At the moment the book is really only being marketed to my fans, which is fine, but after investing thousands of my own money (editing, design, not to mention my time) I will likely never even come close to making a profit…and that’s okay! I did it more to humanize sex workers than make money. However, I think there’s a chance it might reach a wider audience on Amazon if I get a lot of reviews. So that is the most helpful thing you can do for me! Thanks:-)

“Will you write another book?” ~ I have an idea for another book I hope to write. This one fiction but the main character would be a Dominatrix, loosely based on me. Probably two years for that but I’ll of course not keep it secret as things progress. I already have some interest from publishers for that one so the timeline might be shorter as I self-published the first one & being my first time, it took longer for me to navigate that process.

A huge thank you to those who have read & will read my book. It was a vulnerable thing to write and put out into the world but I think it’s an important book for our time, to help humanize sex workers.

xo

Mistress T

Members Site: www.MistressT.net

C4S (Buy vids or just send a TRIBUTE! I love random tributes!): http://www.clips4sale.com/23869

IWantClips: https://iwantclips.com/store/57715/Mistress-T

Manyvids: https://www.manyvids.com/MistressT

Twitter: https://twitter.com/MistressTdotnet

Book cover-exciting!

Cover of the book

Book cover art by Drew Young. Book cover design by Srdjan Filipovic. Back cover author photo by Photobin Photography

It’s really almost done!

I have been pushing hard to get the book done before Christmas & I think we might ‘just’ make it.

As I’ve said before, it’s my first time doing this & I’m self-publishing so everything has taken longer than expected but I’m so close to the finish line! I plan to sell e-books and soft cover books via Amazon using a print on demand service.

For those wanting signed copies, I don’t have a great plan for that yet but I’m open to ideas. It depends on the volume and I have no idea what to expect?

To start I’ll likely get some books printed and sent to me, then I’ll take orders for signings via email(?) & payment via…? In any case, there’s no way I’ll be able to get signed copies to fans before the end of December. But I should be able to take orders & get the book into your hands by the end of January.

Stay tuned for more info!

xo

Mistress T

Members Site: www.MistressT.net

C4S (Buy vids or just send a TRIBUTE! I love random tributes!): http://www.clips4sale.com/23869

IWantClips: https://iwantclips.com/store/57715/Mistress-T

Manyvids: https://www.manyvids.com/MistressT

Twitter: https://twitter.com/MistressTdotnet

Keeping Casual Sex Respectful

Version 2

“I hope you don’t feel like you’re not enough?”

This is what I asked my “side guy” the other day & our conversation got me thinking about the art of balancing multiple relationships. I thought the topic might be of interest to my readers.

I’ve been with the same partner for a few years. It’s the deepest & healthiest relationship I’ve ever been in. We also practice consensual non-monogamy. That’s the term I use instead of “swingers” (which sounds like we’re partying every weekend, wife swapping) or “poly” (polyamory usually means more than one equal emotional romantic relationship).

I like the term “non-monogamous” as it allows us to define what it is for us & for it to evolve.

I currently have one other regular partner, my “side guy”, who I get together with a few times a month. He’s fun, sexy, sane, drama-free & “gets it”, as in he’s been in a similar relationship so understand things from the other side. He respects my relationship & my primary partner. He doesn’t try to seduce me into falling in love with him or any nonsense.

He just wants lighter connections at this time having recently exited a draining long term relationship. I’m not his only lover & he’s not wanting to get serious with anyone, but he does prefer to like who he’s fucking.

It’s going great but the other day it occurred to me that he could feel objectified or feel inadequate, like he’s not enough.

I thought about how powerful, sexually liberated women high five each other & talk about using boy toys & tossing them away, like men don’t have feelings. I’d argue that if a man is so void of emotional depth that he’s content to be only used like a human dildo maybe he’s not really worth fucking? I know this goes against all the “FemDom sex” vids I’ve done where I just use men for their cocks & ya know what? That stuff is still hot & it has it’s place…but in my efforts to educate, to define the differences between fantasy & reality, I want to just be real here & say that mutual respect & consideration can be more fulfilling than an objectifying, disposable fuck.

There’s a fine line though, isn’t there? Liking the person you’re fucking could lead to loving the person you’re fucking. How do you maintain healthy boundaries? In my case it’s easy to do but hard to articulate. I guess I treat a casual lover as I would a really good friend. What I have with my main/primary partner is much deeper & more complex.

I could probably debate the nuances of these kinds of relationships & interactions with each of my readers or write a ridiculously long blog post that no one would read. I’m aware that I need to keep these things brief as attention spans are preciously short.

I’ll sum up, leaving too much out no doubt. Feel free to comment to expand the conversation. If you’re having “casual sex”, it’s okay to care about your partner. You can be kind, compassionate & respectful without falling head over heels in love…& you can have a mainly physical relationship with someone AND expect them to treat you with kindness, compassion & respect. There’s nothing wrong with mutually enjoying carnal pleasure with someone you don’t want to be in a full relationship with. There’s a lot of factors that might not line up for a relationship, compatibility & all that. It doesn’t mean that they or you are not enough, not good enough, worthless, disposable or only good for one thing.

So to answer the question I opened the blog with, he thought for a moment before responding: “I could feel that way & it might make sense, but I don’t. You are generous with compliments. You treat me with respect. I know you have something special with your partner & you’re not wanting to replace him, this is just extra fun for you. We’re good.”

Wish me luck as I continue to tight rope walk thru non-monogamy:-)

xo

Mistress T

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