How To Email A Pro Domme

Step 1. Remove BOTH of your hands from your genitals. One of the biggest mistakes guys make is trying to send an email while in a heightened state of arousal while typing with one hand. This often results in spelling & grammar mistakes as well as coming across like a buffoon.

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Step 2. Do some research to show you value her time. Check her FAQ to see if your question is already answered. Check to see if she has a travel schedule posted. You can look on her website, her clips store or twitter profile for info.

Here’s my FAQ:

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Members site

Clips4sale studio

Clips4sale studio

Twitter profile

Twitter profile

Step 3. After you’ve done your research if it still makes sense to contact her be brief & clear in your communication. Keep the flowery compliments to a minimum & get to the point. Keep in mind that you are contacting a “Professional” as in it is her profession/job/business. Your feelings for her might be highly personal, you might feel in love with her or that you worship her but she is not a gal you’re writing to on a dating site, she’s not a pen pal, she’s not sitting there waiting & needing your compliments, hoping that some random guy will reach out to her & try to court her. In fact, if all you want to do is send a compliment I strongly urge you not to. Even if you are a paying customer (you buy vids/you’re a member of their site) if all you want to do is email a compliment: don’t! Your email will be one of many she has to sift through that day to get to the ones that need her professional attention: a custom vid request, a session request, etc. If your intention is to brighten her day with a compliment it will have the opposite affect as an annoyance since now she either has to take the time to respond or feel rude by not responding. If you are actually just hoping to get some free attention that is even worse.

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Step 4. Ensure you give all important details. If you are requesting a session, let her know what you’re interested in specifically, when, where & for how long. If you’re requesting a custom vid give an outline of the important details without sending a lengthy script (I’d like a custom vid, approx 15 mins, solo, small penis humiliation with you wearing leather gloves. Please use my name Brian throughout the vid. Thanks!) Before hitting ‘send’ put yourself in her shoes (not literally). Imagine receiving that email. Is it clear? Do you think she has enough information to make a decision regarding accepting your session, custom, film slave application, etc? What else might she need? Use common sense!

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Step 5. Level up. If you really want to stand out from the crowd & show her that you respect her time & prove you’re serious about whatever you’re contacting her about, consider sending a tribute. If she has a wish list, send her something off of it. If she has a clips store see if there is a tribute option. Even buying a few vids or joining her site sends the right message. It tells her that you’re not a freeloading time-waster trying to get her attention for free. BUT do not assume that buying a $10 clip or a $20 gift entitles you to an endless amount of her valuable time or attention. It just gets things off on the right foot.

My wish list:

My wish list:

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Step 6. Don’t pester. Don’t send dozens of emails in a row, a few minutes apart. You’ll look like a psycho. Give her a day or two to respond. She might be on holidays, she might be busy filming, she might be sick, dealing with family or pet issues. She does have a life outside of your fantasy world.

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Step 7. Don’t be fucking stupid. Don’t send an email saying you want to be a film slave if you live in a place you know damn well she’s unlikely to be filming in (Israel, Missouri, Argentina, India, etc.) & you’re unable to travel anywhere. If you can’t geographically be in the same place at the same time how the fuck do you think she’ll be able to film with you? Don’t request a vid that you know damn well she’s not going to do (like castrating a guy). Don’t email a Professional Dominatrix asking for sex unless she has explicitly stated she offers escort services or ‘full service’ (assume most Pro Dommes do not). Don’t send dick pics unless she has asked for them. (I request them for film slave applicants or occasionally for a paying distance slave to prove he’s in chastity, otherwise do not fucking send me your nudes, dick pics, your pics of you cross dressed, etc. Unless you’ve paid me to look at those pics they are very unwelcome.)

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Got a little ranty in #7, eh? Can you feel the frustration? Most of you are probably shaking your head thinking “who is she even talking to, I would never do that!” but boy-o-boy, the volume of stupid, annoying emails we all get in this biz is staggering. Don’t be that guy:-)


Mistress T

Members site:


9 thoughts on “How To Email A Pro Domme

  1. Hi Mistress T,

    Good points, clearly heartfelt and seemingly born of endless frustration.

    I hope it makes a difference but at least you probably feel better having got that of your chest; hope so.


    Alf x

  2. That was informative. I’m pretty conscious of wasting a Dommes time with a long email. I don’t even like to get into a detailed description of my interests and fetishes before we have a session scheduled because why should she read this if we can’t get together. I have had domme’s ask for more details before we have a firm date however.

    • There is a fine balance between communicating all the important information clearly & briefly without being too long winded. Do your best! We don’t expect perfection:-)

  3. Unfortunately, those who actually read your blog are those who generally understand what etiquette means. How to reach those who really need to learn the lesson is another matter.

    I used to be the personal sub of a working Mistress and although I only got an occasional glimpse of the communications she received I can certainly vouch that MistressT is far from exaggerating. It certainly made me understand why she could be grumpy after doing admin and wading through the inappropriate emails to find the few nuggets.

    Those rules should be observed for any form communication to anybody. Sadly, a large part of humanity seems to think that the faceless nature of the Internet means that courtesy can replaced with thoughtless and selfish greed and often nasty vitriol.

    I have my own theory about that which I should blog somewhere – The Internet has turned us in to the monsters from the id (Forbidden Planet).

  4. I am an elderly white male cuckold. My wife has never allowed me t o be a cuckold. I want to be used by you and a fantastic shemale for the purposes of learning to suck a cock and then suck her cum from your pussy. I am addicted to cunnilingus and the fantasy of sucking your pussy while you are being fucked then cleaning you.
    You have a video where a guy watches you fuck a guy and then you pull out showing is cock and cum slipping out of your pussy and the you ask him questions and he says yes and as he begins he wines and begin sucking cum from you.
    This is what i need. i am wealthy enough to afford this, I will come to you for a week if need be to be with you.
    If i could get a movie of our meeting I would be interested in buying it for a sum you will like. I am wealthy, make me your cuckold.

    • It’s a shame money doesn’t buy intelligence Bill. An impressive illustration of why I wrote this blog post though. Why would you make a public comment like this on my blog rather than emailing me? You think a public comments area is the right place to work out the details of you traveling to Vancouver, how much money you’ll pay for it, etc.? I guess assuming that you ‘thought’ about this is giving you too much credit. Let me guess: you wrote this comment when you were jerking off?
      Anyway, don’t bother emailing me. I’m not interested.

    • Please tell me that this was just a misplaced attempt at irony. Sadly I fear it probably wasn’t

  5. I am so hoping that for everyone’s sake ‘Bill’ was just making a point with his example
    For several years I helped friends in the scene develop a strategy to meet the increasing threat of content piracy. During that time I could not have imagined the amount of email ‘noise’ they searched every single day looking for the ‘signal’.
    Be honest, be authentic and be brief

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