Apr 29 Birthday

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My 44th birthday is coming up. I don’t want gifts. This is not a shout out for you to send me stuff. I do want something from you though.

On my birthday this year I would like to be showered with stories of kindness, generosity, love.

You have a couple of weeks to create these stories to share with me on Apr 29th.

The parameters are wide. It can be donating to a charity. It can be sharing something with someone in your community (flour, toilet paper, etc.) it can be helping a neighbor (lawn care, fixing something, running an errand, bringing them food, etc.) it can be listening to someone who needs to be heard, offering supportive words to someone struggling, adopting a rescued animal, planting a fruit tree or any food that you plan to share later…anything that makes the world a better place, for people, animals or the environment.

To be clear, I’m encouraging you to do something good in the next couple of weeks. I want my faith in humanity bolstered on my birthday. A bukake of kindness. Lay it on me:-)

Post your stories in the comments area here on my blog, or tweet them to me (https://twitter.com/MistressTdotnet ), or email them (MsT@MistressT.net).

Other than that and as always, pay for my content you consume (buy my vids), it would mean a lot to me for you to you read (or listen) to my book. The audio book is narrated by me. You could fill 10 hours listening to my velvety voice talking alllll about myself. ha ha

“There Is More To The Story” by Mistress T is available in paperback, kindle & audio on Amazon & audible: https://www.amazon.com/There-More-Story

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xo

Mistress T

Members Site: www.MistressT.net

Pay-per-view & TRIBUTE buttons:

https://www.clips4sale.com/23869
https://iwantclips.com/store/57715/Mistress-TTwitter:
https://twitter.com/MistressTdotnet

No, we can not discuss meeting in person.

UPDATE: Fuck it. If you send a tribute I’ll discuss meeting in person. It’s still not going to happen anytime soon but for the right money, you can get my attention.

That payment can be made in any of the following ways, in order of my preference. EMAIL: MsT@MistressT.net

Gift cards (most of these accept PayPal & credit cards):
https://www.spud.ca (delivery area Vancouver, BC)
Tribute button on one of my clips stores:
 
E-transfer for those with Canadian banks to MsT@MistressT.net. Security password: goodboy

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This blog post will be used as a response to emails asking to meet in person, for a private session, filming or anything else.

No, we can not discuss meeting in person during a pandemic. It would be irresponsible & reckless for both of us and for the community. I certainly wouldn’t take that risk for a few hundred dollars, even thousands of dollars. Certainly not to make an adult video.

WHEN might this change? Not within the next year, at least. Until there is a vaccine, I don’t see how this close, in-person activity, which in 90% of the cases would require one of us to travel to another country (the biggest no-go for the foreseeable future), could happen before everyone has been vaccinated.

So, no, I will not discuss your fantasy now, even if you think it would be possible to meet in a few months (it won’t).

I have been inundated with requests to meet. When I respond that this won’t be possible anytime soon so there is no point in discussing I have gotten more angry, hateful responses than I have received in the last decade combined. I don’t understand why I’m getting such an intense reaction from stating what is reality? Perhaps it’s a measure of the emotional health of the world right now? A desperation for men to have some hope to hold onto, something to look forward to, a fantasy to help them escape the darkness of the moment. I’m sorry, I won’t play along. But good news: there are hundreds of women out there who will. If you have a budget to discuss fantasies with women online, oh boy, it’s your lucky day as there are even more than there were before and they would love your financial support.

If you’ve been sent this as a response to a nice email telling me you’re a really big fan and you’d love to meet and you’re now feeling rejected, defensive and inspired to send me some vitriol or a denial that it will be at least a year until we could meet: take a breath. I’m sorry you feel that way. If you really want to meet me, wait to ask me when it’s actually safe for that to happen, for both of us and for our communities. For now, take care of yourself. xo

Mistress T

Members Site: www.MistressT.net

Pay-per-view & TRIBUTE buttons:

https://www.clips4sale.com/23869
https://iwantclips.com/store/57715/Mistress-TTwitter: https://twitter.com/MistressTdotnet
PS: If you’d like to listen to my voice for 10 hours, I narrated my own audiobook: https://www.audible.ca/pd/There-Is-More-to-the-Story-Audiobook/B07X8R4V5W

Let’s chat! Isolaters Unite!

Mistress T on a bed. Amazing.

Mistress T, wearing bunny slippers. Stop looking at my tits & notice my fluffy slippers, perv.

 EDITED on April 2, 2020: I’m pausing doing more skype at this time. Please give your business to one of the other wonderful women who would be delighted to give you their attention on cam.

I’m back from a trip to Costa Rica, in self-isolation for a couple of weeks. That isolation may stretch longer for me…& for you.

During this time I’m open to doing more cam & interaction.

I have Skype set up for video, voice or text chat.

For the lonely & not particularly horny I’m offering a friendly chat option at a discounted price of $25 for 20 minutes. This is regular chat with me wearing regular cloths. No fetishes. No jerking off.

For those who want something fetish, FemDom or abuse/humiliation it’s $100 minimum for 20 minutes. That’s usually long enough for most but we’ll discuss if you want more time. I don’t do “cam shows” in the usual way. Like my vids, it’s more of a cerebral thing. Interactive. Mostly verbal.

It’s $25 initially to get my Skype ID if you don’t have it already. That $25 goes toward our first session. I do this to ensure you are able to pay before I invest my time. That payment can be made in any of the following ways, in order of my preference. EMAIL: MsT@MistressT.net

Gift cards (most of these accept PayPal & credit cards):
https://www.spud.ca (delivery area Vancouver, BC)
Tribute button on one of my clips stores:
 
E-transfer for those with Canadian banks to MsT@MistressT.net. Security password: goodboy
 
~ – ~ – ~
 
To help out some local peers & to offer you options I also suggest:
 
TS Rianna James. If you like feet, she has 2 of them & they're fantastic.

TS Rianna James. If you like feet, she has 2 of them & they’re fantastic.

TS Rianna James for a variety of things including butt stuff. She can train you to have mind-blowing prostate orgasms, edging & a bunch of other higher level stuff: https://www.tsriannajames.com
 
Goddess Ivy Harte, she's not always this serious, sometimes she's meaner.

Goddess Ivy Harte, she’s not always this serious, sometimes she’s meaner.

Goddess Ivy Harte for classic FemDom with a modern, uber sexy twist. An accomplished real time Pro Domme, she’s just starting online sessions so use her contact form on her site & indicate you’re interested in online: http://ivyharte.com
 
Lillith, it's a crime that I couldn't find a good pic of her smiling, it lights up a room. Need your day improved? Get her to smile for you.

Lillith: So fucking sultry

Lillith, a personal friend who oozes sensuality & playfulness is new to the biz. 25 year old cutie doing solo camming, masturbation, open to most fetishes. Twitter: @lillithisonline

NOTE: These are all personal friends of mine. If there are any challenges to sending them money, like they don’t accept payment in the only way you can send it, email me to see if I can help. I can get the money to them if you send it through me:-)


Again, my email address: MsT@MistressT.net

Goddess Worship/Body Worship (Male or female clients welcome)

Body Worship

Body Worship

I want to be worshiped.

Oil rubbed into every inch of my body. My soft curves. My smooth skin. And even though you are in heaven, I want you to be more focused on my experience.

So grateful to be near me, touching me, smelling me that you feel like you would do anything for me. You can follow my instructions but you also feel inspired to try something new, to play, to explore.

I want to cum. But I don’t want that to be the focus. It should be a natural part of the ritual.

You’ll be so elated to be in my presence that you’re giddy about it before & feels like you’re floating after, euphoric, without me doing a damn thing to you specifically.

If your heart is beating harder right now, you might be who I’m looking for.

If you think you don’t have the experience or skills, but damn it, you’d love to learn, you might be who I’m looking for.

If you think a women receiving pleasure without reciprocating makes her lazy, this isn’t the right opportunity for you.

If you think you can pretend to be what I’m looking for & trick me into servicing your dick, think again.

So, what’s next?

#1. My time is valuable & respecting that is part of worship. To apply you must do ANY of the following to prove you are worth my attention:

– Prove that you’ve purchased my book (paper, kindle or ebook): There Is More To The Story by Mistress T on Amazon

– Send a tribute via any of my clips stores or prove you’ve paid for my porn that you’ve consumed from any of the pay-per-view sites or joined my members site (Links in signature at end of this post)

– Prove you’ve donated/made a micro-loan to KIVA (see last blog post)

– Email a gift card to: MsT@MistressT.net (PP accepted) Spa Gift Card

– Send an etransfer (Canadian banks only): MsT@MistressT.net

IMPORTANT: Applications without one of the above will be redirected back here without further response. The amount doesn’t matter, it’s the gesture, showing that you’ve mastered reading comprehension, you can follow instructions, that you are willing to pay something to show you respect my time, etc.

#2. If I like your application & we set up an in-person audition in Vancouver a $100 tribute will be required to secure your booking.

#3. If I feel comfortable with you in person & want to proceed to a more intimate, hands-on audition in the moment you should be prepared to pay an additional $300. It’s $300 for the experience, not by the hour, the length of time is up to me & you should have several unrushed hours available should I choose to keep you. Ideally this becomes an ongoing thing.

I’m open to negotiating some things, like you can be in chastity, for example, but let me be clear: this is not about you. I will not touch your penis. So if cuckolding or orgasm denial is your jam: awesome! You will keep your bodily fluids to yourself unless I choose to have you orally worship me but there are no guarantees. I can be quite satisfied with you only using your hands. Over time anything is possible, but right now, I want to be worshiped like a Goddess, massaged, rubbed down, touched, caressed, adored.

Sure, it would be nice to have a sex ninja, tantra guru, or the swiss army knife of sex so I can lay back & fully receive plus learn new things…but I also have a soft spot for the inexperienced but keen to practice. This is also great for the type of person who wants intimacy or human contact without the pressure of sexual performance. I can show just about anyone how to touch me in the way I like, if you’re respectful, service orientated & keen, you’ll probably be fine.

Questions? I’m sure you’ve got some. You can try putting them in the comments below & I might answer but your best bet is to send an email WITH a tribute or proof that you’ve supported my work or a charity I love.

VANCOUVER ONLY: I will not travel for this unless you are willing to pay first class travel for myself & a friend + a very generous tribute.

xo

Mistress T

Members Site: www.MistressT.net

C4S (Buy vids or just send a TRIBUTE! I love random tributes!): http://www.clips4sale.com/23869

IWantClips: https://iwantclips.com/store/57715/Mistress-T

Manyvids: https://www.manyvids.com/MistressT

Twitter: https://twitter.com/MistressTdotnet

 

FREE PORN for doing a good deed!

I’m re-upping the Kiva Micro-Loan thingy again this year! For 6 years I’ve offered this year-round, but I push it a little harder in December. Here’s the original post with more details:

Loan $ to a worthwhile cause & get FREE PORN!

Basically $50 gets you a free month of porn. This year I’ll do 3 months for $100.

xo

Mistress T

Becoming a Better Man

I recently received an email from a 21 year old fella who asked for my guidance in becoming a better man. He said he didn’t have positive male role models & believed the tutelage of a strong woman would benefit him.

The skeptical might view this as a trick to get me to role play a fantasy with him, not to actually obtain helpful info to improve his real life…& as it turns out, you’d be right. After tweeting asking my fans for suggestions to help younger men seeking to become better humans the ungrateful rascal told me off for not taking him on as a personal slave. (I’m not accepting new slaves at the moment but he didn’t take the perceived rejection gracefully.)

No matter! I think the advice my fans provided was fantastic & I’m sure there are younger men reading this who would benefit so I’ve listed some of the reading suggestions along with youtube stuff that might be helpful. I haven’t read everything on this list but at a glance they seem to have value & positive reviews.

I’ll also share a few bits of advice I personally think is helpful for younger people:

– You have 2 ears & 1 mouth. That means it’s better to listen at least twice as much as you speak. Practice the art of active listening. Not only will you learn more but you’ll make better connections with those who love to feel heard (that would be everyone).

– To thine own self be true. Be honest with yourself about how you really feel about stuff. You can manage or control your behavior but your feelings are a different story. Learn to accept the full spectrum of your feelings: sadness, fear, anger, frustration, joy, love, excitement, nervousness, anxiety, lust, impatience, numbness, relief, gratitude, vulnerability, etc. Feel the feeling in your body, witness it, ask yourself what message the feeling brings or is there another root to the feeling (like the root of anger might be hurt or sadness or a feeling of being excluded, etc.) Accept the feeling with warm curiosity and non-judgement. Let the feeling pass when it’s ready. Don’t wallow in it but don’t rush it through or stuff it down wishing you felt differently.

– Cultivate empathy by trying to understand things from the other persons perspective. Your feelings matter but the world doesn’t revolve around you. Find the balance of empathy for yourself AND others.

– Have integrity. If you say you’ll do something, do it. Keep your word. Be reliable. Take the high road.

– Be kind for the sake of being kind. Don’t always expect an immediate reward for doing something nice for someone. Learn to enjoy the feeling of just doing something good or doing the right thing.

– Be grateful for what you do have. There is always something to be grateful for no matter how bad things get. “I cried because I had no shoes, then I met a man who had no feet.” – Mahatma Gandhi

– If having good sex with women in real life is important to you choose the porn you view carefully. Seek out porn with regular people having real sex/women having real orgasms. Most porn is entertainment, not education. Sex in real life is not like most porn which tends to lack intimacy, genuine connection, high-level communication, authentic female orgasms & realistic pacing with warm up. Try searching “ethical porn” or “feminist porn”.

Google search example: https://www.bustle.com/p/8-places-to-watch-ethical-porn-that-focuses-on-female-pleasure-according-to-a-feminist-pornographer-9108930

There’s a lot more I could say but I understand attention spans are short. Do your own research to find what resonates with you! There’s loads of stuff on youtube & plenty of great podcasts, TedTalks, etc. The internet is full of helpful stuff to improve yourself. If having a good therapist is accessible to you either through work/an employee assistance program or if you can afford one, there’s hardly anyone that can’t benefit from therapy. Seek good friendships with men & women of different ages. Be there for them, build your own community to learn from each other. Learn to care about others feelings & how to share your feelings in a way that connects you with others authentically. Lastly, be kind to yourself. Be the best friend, parent, cheerleader, confidant to yourself you could ever want or need. Self care, yo.

Reading suggestions:

The Tao of Pooh & The Te of Piglet by Benjamin Hoff

Audiobook for the Tao of Pooh: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ksVgOSJ_Kv0

 

Models: Attract Women Through Honesty by Mark Manson

Top 5 lessons from “Attract Women Through Honesty”: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Hs0d7Da8ufo

 

Way of the Peaceful Warrior and its sequel by Dan Millman

Dan Millman’s TedTalk: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=MDL85fzdc1g

 

The Alchemist by Paulo Coelho

 

The Four Agreements by Miguel Ruiz with Janet Mills

Helpful vid on The Four Agreements on youtube: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=HElfaDPwZ6c

 

Man’s Search for Meaning by Viktor Frankl

Audiobook for “Man’s Search for Meaning” on youtube: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zF65lvwQPbw

 

Ishmael- Daniel Quinn

 

Tao of the Wu by Rza

Some of Rza on YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Th-CEx-NEms

 

A Heartbreaking Work of Staggering Genius by David Eggers

 

The Descent of Man by Grayson Perry

 

The Courage To Be Disliked- Ichiro Kishimi and Fumitake Koga

 

Zen & The Art of Motorcycle Maintenance by Robert M. Pirsig

(Without even reading this great book the story of it may be inspirational in terms of tenacity: “Pirsig received a remarkable 126 rejections before an editor finally accepted it for publication–and he did so thinking it would never make a bit of profit. Then it was on best-selling lists for decades. Initially, the book sold at least 5 million copies worldwide.”

Audiobook of Zen & the Art of” on youtube: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ClA9wO8GaqQ

xo

Mistress T

PS: Got suggestions? Please put them in the comments! Thanks!

A Not So Unlikely Friendship with TS Rianna James

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Those who have followed me closely might have noticed some hot scenes featuring women with cocks. Some of those scenes are particularly hot because of my acute attraction to the person. I don’t have a fetish for trans women as a concept, I’ve just really been into some who I’ve had the opportunity to work with.

I confess, when I first saw Rianna, I didn’t know she was trans. I just thought she was a sexy human. I found her smile infectious. We’d run into each other at parties, we had many mutual friends & acquaintances. There might have been flirting.

I liked her as a person & eventually I was intrigued by the idea of what she had under her skirt.

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We’ve become closer lately & I’ve enjoyed taking pics & vids of her. You might find it titillating knowing that I was behind the camera for recent & upcoming pics/vids.

Rianna loves interacting with fans on cam. Like, really loves it. She’s quite the expert on many sexual topics & I feel she has a lot to teach guys about orgasm control, ass play, water sports, worship, BDSM, sexual health, as well as combining some holistic techniques to achieve better orgasms.

She doesn’t need any promotion from me. She’s plenty busy & turns business away as she also has a well-balanced personal life. (Though if you’re curious: https://www.tsriannajames.com/) I guess I just want to brag about a neat person I’m getting to know…& to do one of those things I’m passionate about: humanizing sex workers. Trans sex workers in particular are often objectified. Rianna is a playful sex tsunami but she’s also a great cook, likes flower arranging, is sweet to my pet Lovebird, enjoys yoga, watches at least an hour every day of educational youtube vids to expand her knowledge & is good to people. She’s got her head screwed on right & her positive attitude has injected some lovely energy into my life.

rianna2 rianna3 rianna4

xo

Mistress T

Members Site: www.MistressT.net

C4S (Buy vids or just send a TRIBUTE! I love random tributes!): http://www.clips4sale.com/23869

IWantClips: https://iwantclips.com/store/57715/Mistress-T

Manyvids: https://www.manyvids.com/MistressT

Twitter: https://twitter.com/MistressTdotnet

Book update…

weirdo_concert

The book. Yes, I wrote a book. I’ve learned that writing a book is easy! The hard part is in the editing. That’s the work. Getting a polished product across the finish line. It’s been edited twice by two different editors. I’m on my 3rd editor who is half way through. After that I’ll have a special nit-picky editor do the last sweep to perfect all punctuation, grammar & spelling.

I want it to be right. I want to put out a good product & being my first book I am learning as I go. It’s an emotional project. The book is about my life, the ingredients that went into me becoming Mistress T & my life in this role. There’s plenty of salacious stuff of course, but it’s an accurate reflection of a real life lived & that means there is heart break & emotional trauma too because who gets to their 40’s without having some shit happen?

The ending of the book has been the hardest. I aim to summarize my view of how the adult industry has been both empowering & objectifying for me. I’m trying to walk the line, explain it the right way so a reader can’t say that I either glamorize or condemn the industry. I don’t want my book used as evidence that being a sex worker is damaging but I don’t want it used as inspiration for a woman to get into the biz, not understanding the full spectrum of how it can affect you.

So that is my work this week. Crafting an ending that is all things. Accepting that the lens of the reader will still influence how they interpret it.

Current challenge: I could use little review blurbs for the back cover. Publishers typically have a system for getting other authors to review each others books for the back cover, or something like that, but I’m self publishing. There’s some controversy around these review blurbs. Marketers say it’s a must. Skeptics say it’s just authors doing favors for each other. Does it even make a difference anymore? As with everything I do, I aim for authenticity so I’ll take a sincere review from someone who has enough “celebrity” status to carry weight. Or I’ll just not have any. Whatever. If you, yes, you reading this, can assist me by either being a “celebrity” or reputable reviewer or can help connect me with an appropriate person I would be grateful.

I’ll be doing an audio book, narrating it myself. I might do a video series of me reading the book too. We’ll see.

I plan to use Amazon to distribute & haven’t worked out a painless way to sell signed copies yet, but I know there will be a demand for that. If you’re interested in getting a signed copy keep checking my twitter & blog as I will make announcements when I have it sorted. I won’t keep it a secret, I assure you;-)

I’ll give you a teaser today. I think I have finally settled on the beginning of the book & you’ll find it below:

“Do you mind?”

He asked from behind me, cock in hand, stroking. By the dim glow of the TV I could make out his size; large. But I already knew that. Mom loved to brag about her boyfriend.

Even at thirteen I could recognize the face of a man boiling with excitement and sexual tension, but I didn’t care, didn’t feel threatened, didn’t feel much of anything. Shrugging, I returned to my show. What was on TV? It wasn’t porn; He was masturbating to me.

I had already become numb to sexually inappropriate situations. I wasn’t surprised when my mother didn’t break up with him for it. She simply ensured that we weren’t alone together anymore. After all, she had been dangling me in front of him from the start, had shown him a picture of me in lacy lingerie that barely concealed my budding breasts.

I couldn’t have known back then that I’d make a career out of innumerable men masturbating to their fantasies about me.

To be continued…

x

Mistress T

Members Site: www.MistressT.net

C4S (Buy vids or just send a TRIBUTE! I love random tributes!): http://www.clips4sale.com/23869

IWantClips: https://iwantclips.com/store/57715/Mistress-T

Twitter: https://twitter.com/MistressTdotnet

Looking for an apprentice

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I’ve been in this biz for over a decade & have been successful where many others have not. It seems a shame to hoard all this experience & knowledge.

The hardest part about the biz is getting started. The learning curve is sharp & getting noticed in a sea of competition is problematic.

I can help with those two things. I can help get things set up, she can even use my stuff until she gets her own (camera, lights, editing software, wardrobe, props, sets, film slaves, etc.). I can promote her to my established fan base. That’s key.

Who would be ideal? A mini-me. Someone who looks similar to me, but younger. Probably 25-30, give or take.

She should have raw talent, a gift of the gab, public speaking or acting experience. I pretty much never shut up in my vids. I’m very verbal so if I’m going to promote someone to my fans I think it’s best that she is as similar to me as possible. I know a lot of gals have tried to copy my verbals. So far I haven’t seen anyone do it convincingly well. I can teach some techniques but there has to be raw talent to build on.

She should be in a place in her life to commit to this. I did it full time from the start & put in the hours. This is a full time commitment, but the money will be worth it. After 3-5 years you can work less, but you’ve got to build the business & fan base first.

She must WANT to do this job. It will eat your soul if you only do it for the money. You don’t have to be into every fetish or even any fetish, maybe you just love performing/acting or you get a kick out of making guys do things. Whatever your motivation, it must not be only about money.

She must have her head screwed on straight. I’m looking for a strong, confident, ambitious, independent bad ass bitch. You don’t have to be perfect to be a bad ass bitch who can rock this job. I have struggled with life stuff & mental health issues over the years but I was driven enough to make it look pretty seamless to the outside world. The show must go on. The flexible hours make this a great option for some who struggle with personal issues but you have to be functional enough & self-motivated enough to get what needs to be done, done, on a regular basis.

I think it makes sense to do this training in person (not over cam). I even have a spare room in my house. I have no idea how to ensure I’m fairly compensated for the incredible opportunity I’m offering but I suppose we can cross that bridge if the right candidate presents herself. I’m obviously not offering this for free.

So if you’re reading this & your heart is pounding…you’re looking in the mirror & thinking you could pass for my younger sister, reach out & say hi. Ya never know. MsT@MistressT.net

x

Mistress T

Members Site: www.MistressT.net

C4S (Buy vids or just send a TRIBUTE! I love random tributes!): http://www.clips4sale.com/23869

IWantClips: https://iwantclips.com/store/57715/Mistress-T

Twitter: https://twitter.com/MistressTdotnet

Fuck em’ if you want to.

mistresst_shreddz_bts1

My message to new Pro Dommes: Fuck your clients if you want to. You’re the Domme, make up your own rules.

I’ll explain. I received an email from a guy this week seeking my advice. He had been seeing a Pro Domme for a year on a regular basis. Recently she had “made” him give her oral sex in a session. In another session she had intercourse with him. He “knew” that Pro Dommes weren’t supposed to have sex with their clients because it ruins the dynamic so he was asking me if it was okay to just stop seeing her or should he explain to her why he wouldn’t be seeing her again.

With a bit more conversation I determined that he had wanted to & consented to those sex acts in the session. So I told him that what two consenting adults do is their own damn business but if his feelings have changed he certainly owed her a conversation about it. Especially if he was a regular client she had come to rely on financially. I also told him the rule about Dommes not fucking clients was horse shit.

That’s right: Horse shit.

When I first started as a Pro Domme I was told this iron clad rule. I was so careful to follow these traditional rules that I didn’t even give hand jobs. I could do CBT, piss on a guys junk, sit on his face wearing full coverage panties, fist his ass, but god forbid I should even touch his penis with a gloved hand in a way that wasn’t painful. That I even let guys jerk themselves off was scandalous as I was told a proper Dominatrix doesn’t even permit slaves to cum in her presence.

I don’t know where these rules originated from but I can tell you that if you plan to pay your rent as a service provider you’re going to have to at least let guys cum. The market for clients who want only the strictest Domination is teensy-tiny.

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So what’s the difference between seeing an escort & a Pro Domme? In some cases, not a hellava lot. A lot of escorts can role-play the Dominant role & fuck a guy in the ass with a strap-on. In some cases a Pro Domme might choose to engage in sex acts with a client. Here’s the thing: sex workers are individuals with their own personal boundaries, likes & dislikes, etc. Different Pro Dommes will offer difference services. Just as some escorts do anal (giving or taking), and some don’t, for example.

When talking to new sex workers I encourage them to figure out for themselves what they like doing or not. I encourage them to communicate that clearly so they work with clients they enjoy working with, doing what they enjoy doing. I wish someone had told me that in the beginning because I missed out on a lot of hot sex with clients who I had great chemistry with because I was following other people’s rules. Boy, was I surprised years later to discover that some other Pro Dommes who claimed they didn’t fuck clients sometimes fucked them when they felt like it (with clients consent). What a revelation! A Dominant, sexually healthy woman doing what she damn well pleases.

The great thing about being a Pro Domme is that clients don’t expect sex in the session so you’re not obligated. That’s a good thing, because that won’t be the dynamic with most clients. When the chemistry is there though, why deny it? Why deny yourself the pleasure? Negotiating on the fly can be a bit tricky because you need to ensure you have genuine consent & that can break the mood, but you can’t just spring that on a guy who is in compliant sub space. It’s not rocket science though. Use your words. Have a little conversation. For example:

“Sex is not meant to be a part of today’s session but I feel like it. If you would like to (worship my pussy/have me use your cock for my pleasure) I would like that. We can discuss further and it’s always perfectly okay to simply say no or use your safe words & we’ll move on. No problem.”

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I might get some flack for this post but this is just my personal perspective as someone with real life experience.

Obviously respecting people’s boundaries and consent are essential in ALL situations. Not just sex work. So everyone should get used to communicating to understand each other, what people want or don’t want and ensuring you have ENTHUSIASTIC consent. A clear green light always. Got it? Cool.

Disclaimer: Most Pro Dommes explicitly don’t allow oral sex or intercourse. They state this on their info pages, just as I do. If your primary objective is oral sex or intercourse you’re better off booking with an escort who clearly offers those services. The odds of getting that with a Pro Domme are very slim & even asking for it in an initial email will likely result in your email being ignored. Consider the chances of it happening similar to spotting a white tiger in the wild. Not impossible but highly unlikely.

xo

Mistress T

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