Incels (Involuntarily Celibate)

I made a little VLOG, a message to “incels”. Men who are involuntarily celibate.

The vid is on the page on my members site with FREE vids/previews.

You can stream or download it there: https://www.mistresst.net/free_video

I know you'd like to click the pic to play the vid but that won't work...here's the link: https://www.mistresst.net/free_video

I know you’d like to click the pic to play the vid but that won’t work…here’s the link: https://www.mistresst.net/free_video

If you’ve missed the news that prompted this here’s a link: https://www.theglobeandmail.com/canada/article-facebook-post-connected-to-suspect-in-van-rampage-cites-incel/

Feel free to google “incel” to find more news articles & info.

Best,

Mistress T

Members Site: www.MistressT.net

C4S (Buy vids or just send a TRIBUTE! I love random tributes!): http://www.clips4sale.com/23869

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The genius of Sidonia Von Bork of The English Mansion

FemDoms Sidonia Von Bork and Mistress T

Sidonia Von Bork of TheEnglishMansion.com & Mistress T, flanked by 2 latex sissies.

Do you ever wonder what it’s like to film with The English Mansion? What happens behind the scenes?

I’ve been filming there for quite a few years and I’m often surprised and amazed. The pure genius of Sidonia Von Bork can not be rivaled (though often copied, poorly).

Find scenes with me, Sidonia & other fab Dommes here: http://www.theenglishmansion.com

Just blathering on about how creative & interesting she is might be a boring read so instead I’ll share a funny story from my recent trip.

Sidonia is skilled at casting people in scenarios that are a good fit. Slaves in situations that are hot for them and Dommes in roles that showcase them in the best way. Sometimes she puts me in situations that are new for me, having faith that I’d roll with the punches. Like that time she had me crush a sandwich into the mud with my boot and make a slave eat it. But that’s another story.

It was a full day of filming. We were on our third scene of the day. Things were moving along quickly and Sidonia had rushed off to put the slave in elaborate upside down bondage. We had discussed wardrobe but unusually, she hadn’t told me much about the scene. Another slave was helping me lace up my boots and I jokingly said that I had no idea what we were about to do in the next scene. We started making guesses and placing bets. You never know with Sidonia. I think she spends most of her time just plotting & scheming.

I was ushered into the dungeon where the slave was hanging upside down in a web of restraints and rope. It was art. Sidonia said we had to do the scene quickly as it was difficult for the slave to stay inverted for too long. I stood beside him & we started rolling. Sidonia started to talk, explaining the plot & situation. I just stood there, silent, trying to look like I was part of it and not just an ornament. I felt like doing the Vanna White thing, sweeping my hand gracefully over the slave to display her handy work.

I looked for opportunities to say something but for once, I was silent. The mute Domme standing there trying to not look awkward. Sidonia was having him lick her boot & she gestured for me to do the same. I followed her cues trying to look like this was all natural for me.

Sidonia grabbed some electrics and attached them to his cock, then handed me the controller explaining it can go up to 25. As I started to increase the power the slave whimpered & wiggled. I felt bad for him. I quite liked him. I’d known him for years. Sidonia egged me on to increase the power. I did it and got that familiar rush of pleasure at causing pain. Emotions are complicated, okay? *smile*

I figured this was pretty hard core. Electrocuting the slaves cock while hanging upside down. This must be the climax of the vid? But no, she grabbed some clothes pegs, handed some to me as I realized I was just standing there like an idiot while she gave me things to do. We put the pegs on his cock, balls & surrounding flesh until we ran out of cloths pegs. He looked like a porcupine. I flicked a few of the pegs as he screamed in pain. I’d give him a nice hug after it was all through. Poor dear.

Then Sidonia grabbed this crazy butt plug thing with electrics on it. What the fuck? Who invents this stuff?! She lowered it into his ass and turned it on. His dick was still hard so I guess he liked it?

I wanted to do something without her prompting me so I looked like a proper Domme with her own mind. I decided to do the boot worship bit again but as I lifted my foot I pulled the slave closer at the same time accidentally kicking him in the face. Fuck.

It was time to take off the cloths pegs as he howled in pain, still with the electric butt plug in & the electrics on his cock. Sidonia removed the electrics from his cock and I finally got to do something that I’m good at: the hand job! It didn’t take long to produce a huge cum shot, but I was on auto-pilot and forgot to stop stroking. I accidentally delivered some of the most severe post-orgasm torture ever. The electrics still in his ass & me stroking away as if he hadn’t orgasmed he really started screaming in pain as Sidonia touched my hand to remind me to stop. We wrapped up the scene so the poor slave could get some relief.

Not my best scene though I don’t think you would notice if I hadn’t told you. Sidonia did such an effective job of controlling the whole thing, including me. That’s her mastery. When you watch the vid all you will see is two beautifully dressed Dommes tormenting a beautifully bound slave. Nothing will seem amiss. You likely wouldn’t notice that I don’t talk much or that I’m just doing what Sidonia prompts me to do. You probably won’t notice me kicking him in the face and you’ll think the post orgasm torture is on purpose. You likely won’t notice Sidonia discretely grazing my hand to get me to stop stroking his cock. It will all look gorgeous & perfect. You’ll jerk off to it & maybe not give anything much thought. Or maybe you’ll notice the little things & recognize the genius that Sidonia Von Bork really is.

Sidonia Von Bork & Mistress T at TheEnglishMansion.com

Mistress T and Sidonia Von Bork of TheEnglishMansion.com

xo

Mistress T

Members Site: www.MistressT.net

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Hailey Heartless’s Speech on Sex Work & Stigma

I’m going to ask you to do some reading today. I know attention spans are short & if you don’t have time to read the whole thing now please come back to it & finish it.

No matter what you think of The Women’s March, Donald Trump, #MeToo, #TimesUp, Feminism or sex work, if you read this powerful speech with an open mind I’m confident you’ll come away with something to think about. And if it makes you think differently about something I encourage you to have the courage to pass it along to others. To talk about it.

Hailey Heartless is a Vancouver based whip smart activist, sex worker & so much more. You can find more of her via twitter: https://twitter.com/SadistHailey

& her website: https://www.haileyheartless.com

These are her speaking notes from March On Vancouver yesterday: https://medium.com/@SadistHailey/march-on-vancouver-2018-f7e57e6c1785

View story at Medium.com

 

Mistress T

Members Site: www.MistressT.net

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Cam Adventures & “Ask Me Anything”

I wore this on cam yesterday...& for a construction worker, inadvertently. Read on for details....

I wore this on cam yesterday…& for a construction worker, inadvertently. Read on for details….

Have you heard that question: “If you could have dinner with anyone, dead or alive, who would you choose?”

It’s a great question. Most of us would never have the opportunity to meet in person someone we have idolized or find fascinating. Answers range from Albert Einstein, Marilyn Monroe, Brad Pitt, JK Rowling, Elvis, Oprah Winfrey, Winston Churchill, Madonna, Barrack Obama…what would you talk about? What would you ask?

I do not consider myself to be in the same league as any of the above people. I am incredibly uncomfortable with the concept of celebrity. As a young girl I remember the conflicting feeling of wanting to be known for having accomplished something but really not wanting to be “famous”. I didn’t want to be in tabloids, I didn’t want the personal details of my life to be of interest to strangers. I wanted to be anonymous, not recognized in public by people I hadn’t met.

I’ve started doing more cam lately. Why? I could say it’s because I really like connecting with my fans, which is true & anyone who has had the opportunity can tell my heart is in the right place…but what has prompted it now, honestly, is money. Shocker? Everything is fine, it’s just that my “overhead” has gone up. I’ve recently moved into a more expensive place to have more sets for filming & decorating all the sets is costing a small fortune. Doing cam will offset the extra costs.

The increased one-on-one exposure to my fans has resulted in some awkward experiences tho. There is often a moment of disbelief on their part that it is actually me on cam. A gobsmacked, star-struck kind of reaction that really makes me squirm. Just being honest here. As I sit in my pj’s on this quiet Sunday morning, feeling like the most ordinary person in the world. Hearing guys say what shouldn’t surprise me: they’ve been jerking to my vids for years, that I am their ideal woman, that they feel a deep connection to me or feel like they’re in love with me…& so on.

Maybe it’s a feeling of knowing I could likely never live up to their expectations? That what ever pedestal they’ve put me on I would come crashing down from if they got to know me in real life. Not that the real me isn’t great, it’s just likely different than what they imagine. Ya know?

Anyway, I’ll share a funny story from yesterday. I was sitting in my living room in lingerie & a satin robe. I had a guy on cam who had just said: “Let me get into position & cram this thing in my ass”, as he laid back & started cramming that thing in his ass I heard the key in the front door. I was not expecting anyone but a few people have access to my place right now during the renovations. I quickly spun my laptop in the other direction as the construction worker walked through the door & we both looked startled to see each other. He started to apologize & I told him to go through but to not come back up from the basement until I came down to talk to him.

I had to explain to my cam guy that it was someone doing construction on my place who was not supposed to just enter unannounced like that. He went on with his ass fucking, undeterred & afterward I went down to clarify the rules again. Yes, still in my satin robe because I had been on cam for about 10 minutes & I had no idea if the construction worker was just there to grab something quickly & was trapped in the basement waiting for me to give him the all-clear. His eyes darted down to the trim of my bra peeking out of the neckline of my robe. Black with silver rivets (as seen in the pic at the top of this post).

So. Fucking. Awkward.

But also kind of funny.

He certainly got the message that he was not to enter again without notice. Sheesh.

So, you can schedule a cam (skype) session with me if you want me to watch you cram something in your ass, or if you want me to role-play a scenario or character from my vids with you, if you want to indulge your fetish for pantyhose, leather gloves or whatever…if you want me to tell you to hurt yourself or eat your own cum. If you want to amuse me with a little show or make me laugh. You can also just chat with me & ask me anything (within reason, come on, I’m not telling you how often I floss, that’s only my dentists business. lol)

Speaking of “Ask Me Anything”, I started a Reddit AMA today. We’ll see how that goes…check it out here: https://www.reddit.com/r/casualiama/comments/7qcp1u/iama_41_year_old_fetish_porn_performerproducer/

I’m back filming & hustling so email me for custom vid requests or cam time (minimum $150USD): MsT@MistressT.net

All emails are read by me & my time is valuable so please communicate clearly & briefly. If it’s too long-winded, I won’t read it & I won’t respond. If it’s too difficult to understand I won’t respond. If it’s just a compliment without a request for something I probably won’t respond either. I know that might make me seem like a dick but I’m doing the job of at least 3 people here, somethings gotta give & I’ve decided to not respond to emails that don’t directly lead to a business transaction. I am running a business here. Truth.

Happy jerking!

Mistress T

Members Site: www.MistressT.net

C4S (Buy vids or just send a TRIBUTE! I love random tributes!): http://www.clips4sale.com/23869

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Hello 2018

img_20171225_163909

Other possible titles for this blog:

“The Unsuccessful Search for an Assistant”

“I guess this job is harder than I thought?”

“The realities of running a small porn production business”

About 8 months ago I decided to hire an assistant. After doing everything myself for years & seeing some of my peers outsource or have assistance with various aspects of the business I decided to give it a go.

I admit, I was feeling a bit at the end of my rope with email. It is overwhelming & so much of it can be answered with my FAQ but when I tried an auto-responder fans hated it & it created a massive junk mail problem.

The video & photo editing I really enjoy but it’s not the best use of my time. I felt I could benefit from increased tweeting as well as having someone try to put a dent in the colossal amount of stolen content being shared on free sites. The person could also screen my emails, sending the appropriate link with the information if it were one of the usual questions & just sending me the ones that needed my personal attention.

The first person I hired didn’t work out after several months. Although they seemed to be able to do the job tasks well enough after a lot of time invested in training they had miscalculated how busy their lives were. They just didn’t have time to do the job and the work wasn’t getting done on time.

I learned from the first experience and was more careful with the second hire. I painted the worst picture of the job to try to ensure they knew what they were signing up for. The reality is that you’re saturated in sexual & pornographic material. From reading the words in emails to seeing the images while editing pics, vids or looking for pirated content on free sites. The product is porn, the way it would be food in a restaurant or automobiles in a car dealership.

My second hire felt confident this wouldn’t be a problem but they have just capitulated, resigned, sounding traumatized, mentioning having nightmares from it all.

You could chalk it up as their problem, that they shouldn’t have taken the job if they didn’t think they could handle it…but that’s not giving the issue the contemplation it deserves.

Many of you reading this love porn, certainly the porn I produce. The idea of getting paid to work with it, to edit my vids & pics, to tweet about it, to look for it on free sites, might seem highly appealing. I deliberately did not hire someone who was ‘into’ my porn because I thought that would cause other problems, but I didn’t account for how unpleasant it might be for someone who was not into it.

One of my peers has had her content edited by a gay man for years & I’ve spoken to him about it, he just thinks it’s all funny. I made the mistake of assuming that would be the default, that if someone wasn’t turned on by it, that they would just find it funny or not be affected by it. To be fair, the damage was not done by my vids but more by looking for my content on free sharing sites to get removed. Seeing all that other porn too. But I had naively thought that was one of the easier parts of the job. Not so.

So I’m back to doing everything myself. I won’t make the mistake of trying to hire an assistant again. On top of that I’m at the very tail end of finishing my book & planning to embark on new ventures: getting articles published & doing podcasts, new activities that are meant to work in concert with a book launch this year. I have recently moved into a new place for the purpose of having better film sets. Samantha Mack has been a huge help in decorating sets while I was away but there’s still work I need to do. (Check out her vids: https://www.clips4sale.com/studio/36796/mack-movies )

I’m glad that I’m feeling rejuvenated after my trip to Africa in December, I’m going to need all the energy I have, as well as a few more hours in the day if possible. ha ha

I know, 1 crummy pic with some wilder beasts after a month in Africa...I'm sure you feel ripped off. It's what I have at the moment & it's better than nothing.

I know, 1 crummy pic with some wilder beasts after a month in Africa…I’m sure you feel ripped off. It’s what I have at the moment & it’s better than nothing.

Africa was great, by the way. I saw all the animals on safari, zebra’s, elephants, giraffe’s, lions, etc. The hot air balloon ride over the Serengeti was thrilling. I also visited some local tribes & villages, learning about their culture. The last end I enjoyed a few relaxing days at the beach in Zanzibar. Hours reading (The Handmaids Tale by Margaret Atwood), playing chess, making love, walking along the beach at sunset, eating good food & sleeping lots.

So, Happy New Year! 2018 is off with a bang for me, it looks like it’s going to be a busy one.

xo

Mistress T

Members Site: www.MistressT.net

C4S: http://www.clips4sale.com/23869

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Fan Mail from a FEMALE Fan!

I recently received a unique email from a female fan. That it was from a female made it unique as 99% of the emails I receive are from men. But that’s not all.

I accept that the majority of what I produce is simply used for men to jerk off to which is fine, but I’ve flattered myself to think that sometimes my porn actually improves the lives of some of my viewers. Sometimes I get feedback that I have helped a fan feel like they’re not the only one into some kind of weird fetish or helped a fan accept their desires as harmless as long as all involved are consenting, etc.

This is probably one of the best examples of how my videos can help someone & it warms the cockles of my heart:-)

Dear Mistress T

we wanted to thank you for your role in our sexual education. it is great that your sexual openness has been a big help to intimate relations between me and my partner. we got married several years ago and coming from a family of a more conservative background we had issues relating to each other sexually. my husband had developed lots of fetishes during his puberty and I could not relate to any of them. we sought therapy and it did little help. we even went to the point of separation.

later on we called a truth and decided to be open with whatever makes our partner feel more aroused. I had some requests ,but my husband’s requests were a lot more kinky than mine. he has several fetishes and little by little I learned to embrace them and even enjoy some of them. he is into pantyhose feet and legs, big booty, yoga pants,leggins and being ball busted by a weaker woman who dominate him because he is weak in the exact area that makes him more powerful than a woman ( his words, not mine).

I was taking women’s self defense classes when we met and that involved lots of shots to the groin, but I had no idea someone could get off on that. I tried that on him but it was not the same. then he showed me videos online, and some of them were your videos. yours were the only ones that I learned a lot from.

now we do role play, watch special movie night and on occasion we have request nights. the sex has become amazing. I can control exactly when for him to cum and if I feel he needs more time I can delay mine as well. we learned that sex is more about communication than methodology.

I had some role play requests like meeting a stranger or becoming home invaded and fake raped, but his is more specific. the time that he really enjoyed himself was that I pretended to be a woman in distress and he is a predator who tries to have his way with me. but the tables are turned when I use my amazing self defense moves and go for is testicles. I had to learn how to do things not to cause any permanent damage and still leave him functional enough to have the most amazing 22 minutes of sex( he is into timing things).

I usually try to wear what turns him on but not to overdo it or do exactly what he wants, because he would get bored faster and i have to submit to more of his demands. at first, he wanted me to always wear reinforced toe pantyhose underneath my leggings, but I learned to switch things and cover some of his demands leaving him wanting more. it’s funny how I despised giving hand jobs and didn’t know what is a foot job, but now I drive pleasures from it too. it is a great way to start him off to a longer lasting sex after. he hate blowjobs. I could not believe it at first.

at our movie night we watch romantic movies that I like and to start off the festivities he likes to watch your clips and cuts from Hollywood movies where the girl kicks, knees or grabs the attacker’s balls.

anyway, I wanted to thank you and share with you that I learned many things from you.

Cheers

Isn’t that nice? Thank you to the fan who wrote me this email & thank you for your permission to publish it (omitting any identifiable info).

If any other couples have been helped by my vids please feel free to share in the comments section! (I know it’s likely rare as most of my fans are wanking without the knowledge of their partners).

xo

Mistress T

Members Site: www.MistressT.net

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I’m still here…just busy.

New digs: more space for film sets!

New digs: more space for film sets!

It’s the Saturday night before Halloween, arguably the biggest party night of the year next to New Year’s. Every year that I can remember I would have been getting all decked out in a costume with friends, having drinks & heading to some big party.

But not this year.

It’s not that I didn’t have options. Weeks ago friends were reminding me to get tickets to the big fetish party or sex club party as they always sell out fast. I was invited to go to Seattle to meet up with some of my fav peers in the industry. I even realized this morning that there’s a fantastic house party just a 26 minute walk from my place, I wouldn’t even need to figure out transportation. It couldn’t be easier.

But I’m not going out. I’m watching a couple episodes of Fargo on Netflix & going to bed early. Hopefully the firecrackers aren’t too bad around here tonight.

When I get that pang of feeling like I’m missing out it’s quickly followed by a feeling of exhaustion & the idea of socializing seems like torture. Not the kind of torture some of you lot like: Tsk tsk.

You see, it’s been a busy time. It IS a busy time. And taking some down time tonight is self care. I probably wouldn’t have done it a few years ago but I’m 41, I’m starting to be nicer to myself & frankly, I don’t have the energy I once did. I bet a lot of you get that, at least those over 35.

So why am I so busy? I recently moved. Everyone knows what that’s like. It all happened kind of fast. My landlord was selling the apartment I’d lived in the last few years & my noisy upstairs neighbor was driving me nuts. I found another place that was really great & I just did it. I did it even though I knew it would be hard. I knew it would be hard because the new place needs a lot of work & I’m about to head out of town on a couple big personal trips. Some of you might know about Africa in December, but I’m also doing a personal trip to Mexico in November. These trips were planned long before I even thought about moving.

Everything is fine. Great really. Just a lot on my plate right now. Some of that has been to prepare to take another break from the biz to work on the book. I find it difficult to write while I have my “Mistress T” hat on so most of my writing has been done while taking work breaks for a month or two. My editor & I have been working away on the book for months but now it’s time for me to dig into her edits, flesh out a few parts & put the finishing touches on it. I’m really hoping that my time in Mexico will be good for that because I really want to get this damn book done!

Good news for fans of my vids. I’ve been busy the last few months filming some fantastic content for you. I was going over the upcoming list today & I’m really excited. Rivers of cum will be produced because of my vids in the coming months. Ha ha.

I’ve been getting my new sets ready so I can start filming when I’m back in January. My pal Samantha Mack is helping to source furniture & textiles, over-seeing the painting, etc. I have a kink expert putting the dungeon together while I’m away with some custom-made kinky creations. *insert evil laughter here*

I’ve also been training a helper/assistant here in Vancouver who will ensure things run smoothly while I’m “away”. I’m never really away, I’ll still be on twitter, dealing with time-sensitive email, maybe blogging if you’re lucky:-)

For long time observant fans you’ll notice the shift in me finally letting other people help me. I did everything myself for so long. Control freak. Hiring experts to do things better than I could, hiring people to do things I could but things that aren’t the best use of my time, accepting the help from friends when it’s offered…all of that. Old dog, new tricks.

Business is great & it inspires me to keep going, to keep making vids my fans love. All of you who support my work by buying my vids make it possible for me to keep doing it. Thank you.

I’ve added some things to my wish list for my new place if you’d like to send a housewarming present: http://a.co/afmffTS

xo

Mistress T

Members Site: www.MistressT.net

C4S: http://www.clips4sale.com/23869

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Respecting Boundaries

mistresst_face_trio

I’ve written a post similar to this in the past but it bears repeating as my audience is particularly ripe for this kind of education, being mostly men. I believe that most men, especially submissive men, are good guys, they get it, they’re respectful. The genuine shit heads are the extreme minority. Then there’s the guys who are good at heart but misguided, uninformed & with a bit of education could migrate from the “kind of a shit head” category to the “good guy” club.

I had a mildly bad experience with a private session client this week.

He wrote that he wanted just a foot worship session with some clothed (yoga pants) face sitting, dinner out first. He had requested sessions numerous times over the years & as I rarely accept new clients it had taken that long to actually set it up. I screened him & everything seemed fine. I sent him my FAQ which clearly states my boundaries & I reiterated them in an email: no intercourse, no oral sex of any kind.

Over dinner there was an opportunity to discuss why I take so few sessions these days & one of the reasons I stated was that most guys want what I don’t allow: intercourse & oral sex. I explained that I accepted him because he requested activities that I like & I feel comfortable with.

In the private session he proceeded to try to push those boundaries, mostly verbally but also physically. Not in an aggressive way, but his hands roamed & I had to remove his hands from rubbing my crotch several times while firmly telling him “no”. He asked numerous times to lick my asshole & to have sex with me. When I told him that asking again would result in the session ending early he just stated what he wished for without asking for it: “You’re just so sexy, I would love to fuck you.”

I held my boundaries, stayed profession & the session ended on schedule with the client feeling like he’d had a great experience & he hoped I had a good time too.

Afterward I sent him this email & to any guy who read the above & didn’t really see a problem with what happened, or who thought I should have just kicked the guy out, please read this & try to understand:

“I’d like to provide some feedback on the session last night in an effort to help you understand something important, from a different perspective. So please read with an open mind.

Imagine that you’ve taken your car to a mechanic to get it fixed. You’ve come back to pick up your car after closing time. It’s just you & the mechanic at the shop.

This mechanic is bigger & stronger than you. He tells you it’s going to take an hour to finish fixing your car, you might as well wait. He compliments your ass & it soon becomes clear that this mechanic is attracted to you.

You let him know that you are straight & that you’re not interested. He apologizes but tells you anyway how much he would like to fuck you. Even though you’ve made it clear that’s not going to happen, he tells you a few more times how much he would like to fuck you & asks if he can at least give your ass a squeeze. He’s being nice, not aggressive but he then tries to rub your crotch & asks if he can see your asshole. He keeps asking for more even though you say no.

Again, you are all alone with him & you can’t leave yet because he hasn’t finished fixing your car.

He continues to tell you what a great ass you have, that you’re just so sexy & how much he would like to fuck you.

Are you imagining this? How do you feel? Do you feel uncomfortable? Do you think you would find that fun or enjoyable? He’s complimenting you & just telling you what he would like to do. He keeps asking for what you’ve said no to, but he’s nice about it. He isn’t being aggressive but you don’t know this guy, if you reject him too hard or if you’re rude, who knows what he might do? He might rape you or hurt you. He might not fix your car. You don’t know, do you?

Now think about last night.

Did you do anything ‘very’ wrong? No. Did you cross the line & make me uncomfortable? Yes. Did you make me not want to see clients because of uncomfortable situations like that? Yes.

I’m telling you this so you don’t do this to other women. If you want sex, hire an escort. I sent you my FAQ which outlines my boundaries clearly. I stated again in email & yet again in person what my boundaries were…yet you continued to try to push them to the point where I had to threaten to end the session early. That’s shitty.”

He did not respond to the email, in case you’re curious. He’s only one guy & maybe I can’t get through to him…but this blog reaches a bigger audience so to you reading this, yes you, don’t behave like that, okay? Respect boundaries. Whether it’s a regular date or a paid date, know that she’s likely on guard, as most women constantly are. Unless you are getting a clear ‘yes’ than it’s probably a ‘no’ or ‘not yet’. Get explicit consent & keep getting it. Accept a ‘no’ gracefully or a withdraw of consent no matter when it comes. Her body, her choice.

Even if you’ve paid for a sexual service, it’s still her body, her choice. A clear negotiation of services for pay helps prevent misunderstandings but paying for one thing doesn’t mean you’re entitled to anything/everything.

Put yourself in the women’s place. Really, that’s the heart of empathy, trying to understand how another person feels. In doing so you are learning emotional intelligence & that is useful as hell in life.

If you already get this, pay it forward, look for opportunities to educate other men by being a good role model or explain this to them. Basically, if men imagined other bigger/stronger men doing to them what they do to women they have an easier time ‘getting it’. It’s not as simple as rape or not, it’s about a potentially threatening situation where rape is possible & you have to ‘handle’ the other person & hope it doesn’t come to that.

Be better men & help other men be better too.

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Mistress T

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How not to talk to women…

Okay...if a girl is already showing you her tits it's okay to say they're nice...

Okay…if a girl is already showing you her tits it’s okay to say they’re nice…

“Show me your tits” is a classic zero-class thing to say to a woman that will produce no positive result.

A female friend of mine was recently harassed in an alley at night while she was taking her garbage out. Three drunk guys told her to show them her tits. It reminded me of a great way to help men understand how very unwelcome that kind of attention is.

I’m talking to you guys…imagine that you’re walking down an alley at night & you encounter a few guys (bigger, tougher guys than you). They shout out ‘a compliment’: “Hey, nice ass!”. Before you can even react they follower it up with: “How bout you take your pants down & show us that ass.”

You then realize you’re in the roughest part of the gay part of town & these are tough, leather daddy homosexuals, drunk & feeling brave & horny in their group. You realize that if these guys decide they want to have you, you would likely not be able to fight them off. You realize that they’re likely quick to anger & could take you if you insult them.

How do you feel? What do you do?

(If this happens to be your sexual fantasy, to be gang-banged in an alley by some rough gay dudes please substitute them for something you’re NOT into sexually but threatened by…I don’t know, an auditor, divorce lawyer, Donald Trump, whatever.)

Most guys say they would love women to shout out cat calls to them, they think putting themselves in the women’s position is switching roles…but the key to understanding how a woman feels is to know that you could likely not fight off the unwanted advances of the person who is ‘complimenting’ you.

Make sense?

So, don’t cat call or shout at women from your cars, women walking down the street, etc. No positive outcome can be expected. At best it’s annoying to her, more often it feels threatening/scary for her. She’s not going to walk up to you & ask you to fuck her because you told her she has a nice shitter.

There are times when it’s appropriate to compliment a woman you don’t know but do it with grace: compliment her eyes, hair, outfit/style, laugh, smile, energy, (not her tits or ass). Do not act offended if she doesn’t respond the way you would like. Even if your intentions are good & your approach is ace, she does not owe you a positive response. You are not entitled to her gratitude. However she reacts, handle it with grace. Don’t get pissy & insult her if she doesn’t respond how you would like. You have no idea what she is going through in that moment or what she has been through before. Again, I can’t stress this enough: she does not owe you the response you want.

I know it’s a tough world out there…people can seem cold, it’s hard to make genuine connections, you might be lonely & craving human interaction…you might be desperately horny. I could list potential ways to meet people but this post is about how to NOT talk to women so I’ll keep it on point & leave it there. Treat women the way you would want men to treat your sister, mother, daughter or respected & cherished female friends.

xo

Mistress T

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Be kind.

This post is a simple reminder to be kind to yourself & to others. Mental health is a complicated issue. So many people are struggling with depression, anxiety, etc. If we could all see mental health issues the same way we see a broken leg or an open wound I think things would be different. Many are seeking escape or relief in any way they can. They are fighting the best fight they can. Maybe you are fighting the best fight you can. So let’s practice kindness & empathy, for ourselves & for others.

This post has been prompted by the loss of January Seraph, Michael Stone & Chester Bennington recently.

January Seraph was a well known figure in the adult industry. I do not know how she passed, I only know that she was public about her mental health challenges:

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More here: https://xbiz.com/news/221800/fetish-star-january-seraph-passes-away

Michael Stone was a well known Buddhist teacher, psychotherapist & yogi. He had mental health struggles & his fight to live with them included pretty much everything you can imagine, from meditation & yoga to prescribed pharmaceuticals. I think it’s really important to read the full official statement of his passing to have a clear understanding…so here it is: https://tricycle.org/trikedaily/buddhist-teacher-michael-stones-family-says-likely-died-opioid-overdose/

Buddhist Teacher Michael Stone’s Family Says He Likely Died from Opioid Overdose

Chester Bennington, the lead singer of Linkin Park: https://www.nytimes.com/2017/07/20/arts/music/chester-bennington-linkin-park-dead.html?mcubz=1

Love,

Mistress T