I confess, I’m a lazy lover.
I expect the guy to do most of the work.
I like to lay there & be serviced.
I’m rarely keen to suck cock. It’s uncomfortable to hold my mouth open like that so even if I give a ‘blow job’ I’ll mostly lick, suck on the tip & use my hand. I’ll give deep throating a shot for like a half a second.
If a guy isn’t willing to lick me until I cum I think he’s a jerk…even if it takes me a loooong time. I don’t care if it’s uncomfortable for him. If my pleasure isn’t important enough to him to endure some discomfort than fuck him. However I’m a bigger jerk because if a guy is having a hard time cumming for some reason I give up easily & don’t care. I won’t work at it or let him fuck me for longer than I want just so he can have an orgasm. I feel like if I stay close while he jerks himself off (as a last resort) I’m being generous enough. Yup, I’m an entitled jerk.
Speaking of entitlement & other attitude problems…I feel like most guys should feel very lucky to get a chance to fuck me. Am I the best looking woman out there? Nope. Am I the sexiest? Nope. Do I have mad bed skills or am I a freak in the sheets? Nope & nope. So why do I have such an attitude problem? Gee, maybe years of hundreds of guys telling me that I am the sexiest & most exciting woman they’ve ever seen. Yeah, that might have gone to my head. This job can fuck you up even if you try to not let it. Even if I rationally know that it is a fantasy all those guys are seeing. That in reality if they got a chance to fuck me & I just laid there while they licked & fucked me they may not feel like they’d won the lottery. (Disclaimer, I’m lazy but I’m not a dead fuck. I do move & moan, I do fuck back. I’m not a starfish…but I’m not a bucking bronco either.)
Years ago I took a swing at escorting. I didn’t think I’d be into it but wanted to say I’d tried it. I wasn’t very good at it. Do you know why? Have you been paying attention here? I’m a lazy lover! Being an escort means servicing the client. It means you have to work. It means you need ninja level bed skills. Okay, well that’s what really good, highly paid escorts need to run a successful business. I wasn’t well-suited for it.
Why am I writing this today? I felt like confessing. I felt like getting it off my chest. After having a sexual encounter with a potential ‘guy-on-the-side’ who said I gave him the saddest hand job he’d ever had. To be fair, I wasn’t that into touching his half hard dick after he came up for air without making an effort to give me an orgasm. He was actually lucky I didn’t rip his dick right off after that lack-luster oral performance…but there was no point in getting angry. I just called it off & sent him away. We obviously didn’t click sexually…because when it clicks…my good god. If a guy loves licking pussy I can tell. My pussy tastes like candy & it doesn’t matter if I’m thrashing & screaming like I’m possessed, if a guy likes licking pussy he fucking LOVES my pussy, nothing else matters…and my hand job skills don’t factor in because his dick is so hard from licking my pussy he’s ready to fuck that amazing pussy & there would be no handy work required.
I’m not interested in working to make a guys dick hard. If his dick isn’t hard just being pressed against my naked body, kissing me, than he’s not horny enough for me. I like to feel wanted. Don’t we all?
So, hopeful suitors…if you’re into selfish, lazy lovers with entitlement issues, look no further. I will demand you pleasure me in whatever particular way I want, I will expect that gives you enough satisfaction that you won’t ask me to do anything special for you. I won’t work to make it work. If you’re not hard & into it for any reason I’ll call it quits & send you away. I’m basically a complete bastard sexually.
As hopeless as that all sounds…my current partner is the best sex I’ve had & we’re oddly compatible in all our mutually quirky ways…which perhaps makes me even less tolerant of others short-comings. I still like a bit of variety as does he, even if more often than not it leaves us feeling more grateful in what we have in each other. (We practice consensual non-monogamy, in case you’ve missed that from previous blog posts.)
Mistress T (well, not really. In this case it’s certainly the woman who plays her. Mistress T is a sexual dynamo…or whatever your fantasy tells you she is. *wink*)
UPDATE Aug 31, 2016: In a million years I would not have anticipated the response I’ve received from this blog post. In addition to the comments left here I have received numerous emails from men who resonate with what I’ve written. Men who crave to serve a woman orally & sexually, who expect nothing, even prefer to not have any reciprocation. In some cases this is a submissive act but for others it’s simply their sexual preference. I would never have guessed!