…you never know what you’re going to get.
Did you think I was going to say they’re all sweet? Nope.
I wasn’t sure whether to say clients, fans or slaves. The term that fits best is client since they all pay me for something, at least in the beginning. They’re all fans. Very few would consider themselves slaves.
Anyway, terminology aside, the business of being a Professional Domme or service provider (*cringe*) is a strange one. I am no longer a traditional Dominatrix. I was at one time. My formally structured sessions consisted of a lot of CBT (cock & ball torture), flogging, paddling, spanking, strap-on/anal play, boot worship, bondage, etc. I didn’t even offer a hand release. Clients were allowed to wank themselves off if they pleased me, which is to say, most of the time because they were paying after all.
Over the years things have evolved. I rarely see clients these days & when I do my ‘sessions’ are very casual. Clients basically pay to spend time with me, to meet Mistress T in the flesh. I enjoy being sensual, teasing & toying with men. The more mentally engaging (rather than implement or prop focused) the better I like it. I prefer to not feel like I’m providing a service but that I’m allowing lucky men to worship me in person.
I decided to open myself up to more sessions than usual this trip to the UK & thus far I am torn. The money is nice…& most of the gentleman I’ve met have been lovely…but I’m really questioning if it’s worth the annoyances that come with it. By that, I mean the piles & piles of emails (session requests). Then all the emails back & forth with each client working out the details. Then after all that the guys who change their mind either just before making a deposit or even more frustrating are those who make the deposit then vanish a couple days before the session leaving me wondering if it’s happening or not? They’ve paid, so I am reluctant to give their time to someone on the waiting list in case they surface in the last few hours…anyway, you get the point. Just reading this paragraph you’re probably getting annoyed.
Those who jerked me around & didn’t follow through with their sessions can really just go fuck themselves. Having the deposit eases the sting but the disrespect is unforgivable. I don’t take it that personally as I know every Domme deals with the same issues, but that doesn’t make guys who no-show any less dishonorable.
The theme of this blog was meant to discuss the vast differences in clients & my experiences with them. For example, I had dinner ‘dates’ three nights in a row.
The first one couldn’t have gone better. We totally clicked, it was comfortable, the conversation flowed & it felt natural. We sessioned after dinner & it was HOT. Really fun for both of us.
The second one no-showed (by the way, no-show Christiano: go fuck yourself) & although I had a list of several eager fans who were praying I’d have an opening, I had such a nice time with the 1st guy that I ended up going out with him for the evening again. It was wonderful.
The 3rd was a mini disaster. He spent the entire evening talking non-stop. Talking about himself, bragging & flaunting his wealth, name dropping without noticing how unimpressed I was. He made peculiar long-winded complaints about how unattractive people were at fetish events he’d gone to (since he would not be considered physically attractive by most, so um, you are kind of part of the problem, aren’t ya?). He didn’t want a session, he just wanted to spend time with me (which he did pay for) but he didn’t ask me any questions or try to engage me in conversation. I felt like objectified arm candy and I spent three long hours resisting the urge to punch him in the face. He made my efforts to gracefully end the evening impossible & it ended awkwardly with me telling him pretty much everything that you’ve just read, to his face.
So there’s a little insight into my world. I have been doing this for years & although I keep getting better at scheduling my time efficiently & meeting with those I enjoy, at the end of the day it’s a crap shoot. I never know what I’m going to get. That’s certainly fun when it works out well…but is it worth all the other annoyances? That is a question I will be pondering as the session requests continue to pour in…
“I am no longer a traditional Dominatrix. I was at one time….Over the years things have evolved. I rarely see clients these days & when I do my ‘sessions’ are very casual.”
Maybe you toned it down just in time, Miss T…take a look at this…
What’s the world coming to if a Domme gets sued for such an imaginative variation on traditional roleplay…))
Regarding that article…the only similarity that has with anything to do with me is the word “Dominatrix”. No one knows what the real story is there but it sounds like there were drugs involved (Drugs are never a part of any of my stories. What might you deduce from that?) No one has ever charged me with anything. I don’t engage in Financial Domination. I didn’t ‘tone it down’ I simply evolved over time away from sessions that involved more props & implements (like spanking benches, floggers, etc.) to sessions that were more of a mind fuck or more cerebral. One isn’t better or worse than the other, just different styles. In fact, you could say that the Domme in that article was conducting a more cerebral fantasy session as Financial Domination (and/or kidnapping) is certainly more of a mental game than a physical/prop dependent one.
So, Jack, the article you attached has about as much relevance as an article about a regular woman who got stood up for a blind date.
I can’t believe that somebody doesn’t show for a session. Once you’ve made up your mind, what’s the point of not showing? My understanding is even less when the mistress is YOU and the guy already paid for a deposit. If a guy is not 100% convinced, then he can always book just one hour.
I am glad that at least one out of three men left a good impression on you and proved that we men are not completely hopeless. 😉 Shame for the other two.
Enjoy the rest of your stay. xo
Thanks. No-shows happen to everyone. It’s just the nature of the beast. There are certainly more good guys than bad ones but the bad ones spoil it for the rest. I’m considering only accepting sessions when a 100% deposit is paid in advance…and you know what? I’ll still get no-shows.
Often guys just chicken out. Sometimes life gets in the way. Sometimes they are just jerks.
It’s strange that having committed they don’t show up.
I imagine some may worry that the reality does not meet their hopes and they’d prefer to keep their fantasy. People’s fantasies are very personal but it’s hard to imagine how you IRL would be anything less than an amazing experience.
A less polite view would be some of them are trying (consciously or not) to make a bottom of their top. I’ve never understood why people would do that.
Maybe at this point in your career you are way ahead of your clients; that is – you are interested in being genuine and the guys are interested in playing a role.
Keep staying real girl! As a fan its what I love about your blog.
I’m not sure how to respond to your comment. I realize you’re complimenting me, so thank you for that. As for guys playing a role…if you mean the guy I wanted to punch in the face (?) boasting and bragging, being a jerk to the wait staff, etc. seemed to be his real character. I asked if he was talking so much because he was nervous & he said no…so I guess that’s just who he is.
I/we appreciate the “accessibility” to you. I think you are correct that even if you take a 100% deposit you will get flakes. I still think that is well within your perogative and I firmly believe that it is something you should be doing.
I always wondered why women who have a giant fanbase don’t employ a screener to sort the wheat from the chaff?
Continued success Mistress T, you truly are a gem.
Some do have assistance with their email & although I have thought about it thus so far I have felt that it’s best for me to handle all correspondence personally. If people are emailing me I like them to know that they are communicating with me, & not someone else.
Can i offer a big round of applause to dinner date no. 1 for showing you Mistress that were not all a load of eejits (Google it) this side of the pond.
Dinner date no.1 if you sitting down, stand up and take a bow.
Mistress as a fan, love the blog for showing us a peek into your very interesting life.