My previous post about looking for a significant other has set records in traffic for my blog & volume of feedback…in just one day. Based on that, I am adding another blog entry to respond to some questions and to clarify a few points.
#1. I am not desperate or lonely and I haven’t been trying (and failing) to find a partner. I posted that blog entry Friday night on a whim as it only just occurred to me that I’m feeling ready to be in a relationship again. I thought it would be an entertaining story if I did find a partner that way but I didn’t really expect to.
#2. Some think that my criteria is too strict?! Really? Because I want a healthy sex life with a decent partner who more-or-less has his shit together? Or is it that I want a guy who is okay with me sleeping with other people occasionally? Because that part is just about having a more honest relationship than most where one or both people cheat on each other.
#3. It’s really no great surprise that I’m still single. What I do for a living is very difficult for most men to deal with. I’m also a very strong woman who intimidates the shit out of a lot of men. I love what I do and I love who I am, so I’m not going to change either just to increase my chances of finding a partner. Being in a relationship does not define my life. I enjoy my freedom and independence. The right guy would be an bonus in my awesome life, he will not BE my life.
#4. I’m not just looking for sex (this time). For those who expressed surprise that I couldn’t get laid, you read this wrong. Come on. Who would really believe that I couldn’t find sex partners?! ANY woman can get laid whenever she wants. That’s just the way the world works. This is about finding a significant other, not a fuck buddy.
By the way, now that I’ve made this mental step of being open to a relationship I will leave the house more *smile*, be more social, maybe do a little online exploring, etc. We’ll see what happens…and I’ll probably blog about it as long as it doesn’t violate the privacy of anyone else.
There’s no shame in being single & looking. I certainly don’t feel any shame about it! I just ended a four year relationship a year ago. I took a year off, had some great sex, dated casually, almost ended up in a relationship with the wrong guy (because I hadn’t thought enough about what was really important to me)…and here I am. I’m open to something more special…and I’ll probably find it. Despite my shortcomings (no one is perfect), for a sexually adventurous, open-minded, self-assured guy, I’m quite the catch *smile*. As much as I might come across as a cunt in some of my writing, in real life I’m actually a very generous, caring and fun person. I’m a great communicator, I’m drama-free and I’m what most guys consider to be a pretty ‘cool’ girlfriend.
So if my initial blog entry made you feel sorry for me or worry about me: don’t. I’m not crying myself to sleep over here, far from it. A big part of me doesn’t even want my life to change as I’ve finally molded it into just what I wanted…but if an awesome guy comes along, I’ll make room for him.
Cheers,
Mistress T (or the women behind Mistress T, really.)
Members site: http://www.MistressT.net
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Blog: http://mistresst.wordpress.com/
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Gone fishin’
I think it’s a brilliant strategy to post a wish-list. You can refer to it for moral support when realizing someone isn’t a good fit, you can refer suitors there when rejecting them, and who knows, stranger things have happened!
My guess is that those people telling you that you’re too strict are disappointed they don’t fit the bill. Too bad for them.
I love it. Well done, and I’m glad haters aren’t getting you down. And Grats on the record traffic!!
Thank you love…I’m not sure I have problems with ‘haters’. At least not like others seem to have? I’ve gotten some strange emails but I just delete them as soon as I get the gist of them. I have better places for my energy.
I like your idea of referring rejected suitors to the list. It might be a more gentle way of letting some one down.
Thanks for the well-wishes!
Another great post Mistress T. From what I can tell, you are wonderful and charming lady. Any man would be lucky to share a life with you.
Thank you verrry much!
People who take issue with your “strict” requirements need a reality check. They should spend some time reading on-line personals if they want some perspective, where “strict requirements” can be observed with regularity. Your comments seem pretty level-headed to me.
The only thing that is really different from most mate-seeking in your list is that the guy be OK with your non-monogamy and profession. That’s a lifestyle and professional matter for you, not “strictness.”
So you want a guy whose sexual functioning is normal? Seems quite reasonable to me. You didn’t express an extreme position; you merely said you aren’t patient with erectile and premature ejaculation issues. Not being patient with it is very different from being absolutely non-tolerant. The analogues for these problems for women’s anatomy are non-existent, but I wonder how patient most men would be if faced with a woman who regularly experienced a physical inability to have penises to penetrate her vagina, or whose vagina expanded at her quick orgasm to the point where he felt no friction at all, making further intercourse impossible? Not very, I bet.
Where I come from, a woman who loves cocks, loves sex, really loves getting fucked, and wants it to last a while is known as “a gem.” Beautiful with a great body, too? “Ideal.” And that’s Mistress T.
Forget about the male critics, obviously they are inadequate. Your “dating marketing value” is off-the-charts.
Not in Vancouver, amongst other things.
Mistress T, it strikes me that you are a very reflective person, and you have done what you need, and are continuing to do what you need to be happy. I say BRAVO!
Thank you! I was kind of brought up preparing to endure life (life is hard, you must be tough) but started to realize in my 20’s that life is really to be ENJOYED. Happiness is in moments…I just try to create a life that allows for as many of those moments as possible *wink*.
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