A friend sent me an article that I could probably write several blog entries on…
Here’s a link to the article:
In a nutshell, a women wrote to an advice columnist about a woman who walked her female partner on a leash around their neighborhood in the daytime.
She didn’t seem to have an issue with lesbianism or even a judgement on what they were doing…she didn’t even seem terribly fussed about having to give a basic explanation to her 4 year old daughter. Her fear was that her daughter would ask her more delicate questions & she kind of wished the couple would take their walks after 9pm when children were less likely to see.
Overall, she seemed pretty tolerant & easy-going. She just didn’t want to have to explain kink play to her 4 year old.
Louis CK has a great quote on talking to your kids about uncomfortable subjects:
It would be great if people could go beyond tolerance & work toward acceptance (different strokes for different folks).
I quote from the article (About the woman who was walking her ‘pet’): “She says she fully understands that people immediately think about sex when they see her walking her “sub” (she’s the “domme”), whom she also calls her “pet,” on a leash – but that part of it is purely platonic, like other couples holding hands in public. She assures me their relationship is a loving and consensual one, that her girlfriend had the leash when they met but had never found anyone willing to use it.”
I find it interesting that it’s thinking about kinky sex that makes people uncomfortable. If you see a couple walking hand-in-hand there’s a great chance they’re having sex too…but your mind doesn’t necessarily go to a place where you’re imagining them in the missionary position…& even if it did it probably wouldn’t bother you. But if you see a leash you imagine whips & chains and it’s a different story?
What if we learned from a young age that ‘sex’ was a lot broader than just reproduction. The same way we learn that there’s a lot of different types of foods, different countries & cultures, different religions, different jobs, different music, etc. That different people likes different sexual things the same way they like different food, music, movies, video games, cloths, etc.
Why is kinky sex taboo? Why does the thought of BDSM make so many people uncomfortable?
I had a funny conversation with my father the other day. He said to me he saw a show on TV with a Doministrice…(he can’t pronounce Dominatrix but I knew what he meant) & she said when she had a bad day at work she just slapped a client across the face & she felt better. He asked if it was like that for me (he’s very accepting but only has a loose grasp of what I do for a living).
I told him that I didn’t hit clients out of anger but I had hit a lot of guys who wanted to be hit & it is quite fun. I told him about ballbusting & CBT. He couldn’t believe guys would want to be hit in the balls! He said wouldn’t that be like putting my nipple on the edge of a table and smashing a book down on it? I explained that’s nipple torture & some people like that too. I told him I had kicked guys in the nuts as hard as I could over & over again…& they loved it.
I then said: “But Dad, you understand that’s just my job. You know ME. I’m just a normal, good person.” He agreed and told me that he loved me.
It doesn’t matter whether it’s my job or whether I get off on it or if others gets off on it. These games that people play…Funny enough (from the article), kids seem more capable of grasping the concept that people role-play for fun than adults do. We are not born with prejudice. We learn it.