A couple of years ago I moved into a new apartment. My neighbors found out about my alter ego “Mistress T” and flipped out. They even tried to get me evicted. Some of you may remember the blog entry I wrote about it: “Judgement Sucks Monkey Balls”. Over the last couple of years I have received tons of support from fans and a lot of inquiries about how it all turned out. So I’ll tell ya…
At that time I assured my neighbors & landlord that I would be the most quiet and drama-free tenant & neighbor they could ever want. I have an unsual business but the day-to-day ‘me’ lives a quiet, calm life. I am usually just editing video at home, having friends over for tea, going out to eat with friends, etc. I tend to do the bulk of my filming out of town these days & what I film at home is always quiet scenes with the camera on a tripod (usually hand jobs with guys who are personal friends & lovers.) There’s no film crew or parades of strangers coming & going. I rarely see clients for private sessions anymore but when I do it’s usually at their hotel room, not in my home.
I have parties now & again but usually gatherings before going to fetish parties so we’re all out by 11pm.
So over the last couple of years my neighbor below me has lived in quiet bliss. I walk lightly in my socks, don’t play loud music or anything. We become friendly & enjoyed chatting when we ran into each other. Recently I needed a reference for a new apartment and he was happy to assure my potential new landlord that I would be an excellent choice as a tenant. He saw no reason to mention my occupation as it has had zero impact on my neighbors.
That could be the happy ending we were all hoping for but it gets even better.
As I was doing the final move out of that apartment I heard a knock on the door. It was the lady in the building who had given me the most trouble. The one who was most opinionated about my work, the most fearful, the most judgmental & the one who tried the hardest to have me evicted. She came to apologize to me in person. She said that she was wrong. She said that I was one of the most responsible & professional people she’s met & she wished people she worked with & other tenants in the building were more like me.
I was so moved, I felt that lump in my throat. I know I shouldn’t care what people think & I’ve had to grow a thicker skin…but being really honest with my own feelings: I do care. Judgement does cut me & acceptance touches me. I know very well that there is a stigma with adult work. When people can look past that & see the real person, not the job, see the woman who does yoga, loves animals but doesn’t like babies, wears flannel pj’s, tries to do the right thing, cares about the environment, who hates being taken advantage of, who can’t watch scary movies because she has nightmares, who wears a hat a lot because she doesn’t like doing her hair…who is a quiet, considerate, responsible neighbor.
I was sad to leave that apartment, especially now that I have finally been accepted…but a major, disruptive year-long building renovation was about to start & my quiet oasis would be gone. Construction at 7:30am daily? Fuck that.
Speaking of construction, the construction workers had been anything but discreet about their leering, ogling & making machismo comments to each other, nudging & smirking. As I was moving my stuff out, one of the construction workers (showing how brave he was in front of his buddies) said to me it was a shame I was leaving (accompanied by giggles from his pals). I turned, smiling, and looked him in the eyes & said “Oh yeah? Why is that?”. He just shut up & looked away, embarrassed to be confronted. They all did. Way to keep up the stereotype of construction workers being sleazy to women, guys. Keep up the great work. *eye roll* Can you imagine if I had stayed & had to put up with that every day? Like I don’t get enough clumsy, creepy advances from my fans. Ohhhh…*zing!*
So, I’m settling into my new home, hoping there won’t be any drama this time. But if there is, you all will know about it.