Fans of my films see the end result. The finished product, after all the set up, filming and editing. What goes on behind the scenes? Do you ever wonder? Do you wonder WHO the guy is? What his story is? Do you wonder if there were out-takes or bloopers? What happens when things don’t go as planned?
I hope this doesn’t pop the fantasy bubble for some of you, but I wanted to share an experience from today to give you a sense of the REALITY of the type of porn I create.
A few months ago a fan contacted me wanting to meet me. He lived far away in the US and after a few months and a hand full of emails he ended up coming to Vancouver. He really just wanted to meet me. A private session, coffee or filming was discussed and we settled on filming a foot job vid because he didn’t have enough money for a private session and I didn’t want to go on a date with him.
The moment he saw me he gushed that I was even more beautiful then they said I would be. I wondered who ‘they’ were but he was so nervous I just let it go.
He was young but showed me his ID to prove he was in his early 20’s (legal) and let me know right away he was sexually inexperienced. By that I assumed a virgin. I made him a cup of tea while he rambled on about what a huge fan he was and how amazing it was to finally meet me…he rambled about a bunch of other personal stuff too…I’m used to nervous guys doing this and just let him go on and on.
I didn’t say much as I set things up for filming, he was doing all the talking, watching me move around the room he paused mid sentence several times to say how beautiful I am in person.
Everything was all set and I told him to remove his cloths and lie down. His pubic hair wasn’t trimmed at all and he pretended to be surprised by it himself and said he ‘forgot’ to trim it…to which I replied: “You didn’t forget. Don’t lie. You have never trimmed that bush & you know I prefer it trimmed.” He apologized.
We started filming and he warned me that he would likely cum very quickly. He had filled out the film slave application from my blog so he knew I preferred film slaves who cum easily. I felt optimistic.
However, after several minutes of feet-on-cock action I could tell we were going to have problems. He said he needed to touch me. I allowed him to touch my leg. He asked to see me naked. I said no. He asked me to have sex with him. I said no. He said he needed more intimacy. I said: “You’ve come to the wrong place.”
At this point I’m thinking of you the reader. If you’re another Domme reading this you’re probably thinking either: “Jerk!” or “Yup, business as usual.” If you’re a guy reading this you’re probably thinking: “Geez, ya can’t blame the guy for trying!” or “Would it kill you to be a little nicer to the poor boy?”
I suggested that if he couldn’t actually cum from a foot job than we could do a tease and denial vid instead. He begged me not to, he said he needed to cum and that he could do it with his own hand. Now, I know that a vid with a guy jerking himself off on my feet isn’t going to be a big seller. I knew that by letting him do that I was pretty much putting the nail in the coffin of this shoot. All my time wasted. A vid that probably wouldn’t sell…but believe it or not, I have a soft spot. I told him to go for it. It was evident he was never going to cum from a foot job anyway. It wasn’t intimate enough for him.
After all was said and done he begged to film with me again. Promising he would do better next time…but also saying that he just needs more intimacy. I explained that you don’t go to a car mechanic to get your toilet fixed…and you don’t come to someone who specializes in humiliation and Domination for a cuddle.
He admitted to being a virgin. I asked if he really thought I would have sex with him and he said he hoped so and he was sure he would cum in like 30 seconds FOR SURE. I let him know that that wasn’t going to sell me on the idea. It’s not going to happen.
I feel bad for him. I do. To be a virgin in your early 20’s and to come so far just to meet the fantasy woman you’ve been jerking off to for years and then to be sexually rejected by her. As much as I do humiliation and cruelty in my vids, I actually didn’t get any pleasure from sending him away so sad. I wasn’t about to have pity sex with him though.
I haven’t decided what I’ll do with the vid yet. I’ll have to watch it and think about it. Here’s a still from the cum shot:
If anyone has the thought that I wouldn’t have these issues if I hired professional male performers…understand that overall I prefer to work with real fans, personal lovers or friends. I think it gives my films a more authentic feel. I also really enjoy meeting and getting feedback from real fans…and I did enjoy meeting this boy today. I just didn’t enjoy sexually rejected him and I wish we could have created a better vid. You take the good with the bad though!
NEW NOTE (Added Aug 6, 2012): I decided to release the footage from this shoot. After watching it I felt like there was certainly enough hot stuff there for someone to jerk off to…but it’s also a very unique and interesting vid if you know the full story behind it. I did not edit out all the awkward bits either. This is the full, raw version:
(I can’t hyper link to clips4sale from here so you’ll have to do the extra work of copying & pasting the link. It’s called “Blooper Shoot Full Length”).
Members site: http://www.MistressT.net
Mistress T, I think you were too kind to this apparently confused young guy. He didn’t have enough money for a session, and you told him you didn’t want to go on a date with him, but he somehow still managed to expect actual sex? Sounds manipulative and/or self-absorbed. I think he’s lucky you didn’t throw him out.
Dude needs to understand that women have personal standards for intimacy, just like he does. He might also consider that it’s a bit odd to seek intimacy with someone who’s a professional fetish performer. If he wants intimacy, a regular vanilla girlfriend is probably the way to go. Of course, he won’t find one as beautiful and sexy as you, Mistress T. But we all have to live with that.
All true BUT ya got to cut him some slack for being young. I don’t know how old you are but I can tell you I wasn’t the brightest crayon in the box in my early 20’s. Plus, he has been jerking off to me for years, dreaming about me, fantasizing about me…and I don’t mean in a stalker way, I mean in the perfectly normal way many men feel about me…but being so young (& naive) he doesn’t yet have the ability to effectively separate fantasy from reality. Hell, I’ve seen some much older fans who behaved similarly. He’s harmless. Part of me wishes I could have made his fantasy come true…But I’ve learned that it’s bad karma & ethically corrupt to have sex with someone who feels that strongly for you when you do not return similar feelings.
Well I love that you can be so sympathetic and forgiving with a fan, but I kind of hate that you have to deal with unwanted behavioral issues. You do seem to like mommy scenes though. 😉
None of this had anything to do with mommy stuff. Zero. I see that you put a smiley face after that comment…but I still gotta say, it doesn’t make any sense. Compassion, patience or understanding is a human thing, not a mommy thing. The age difference didn’t make it a mommy thing either, soooo, not sure what you’re referring to?
By the mommy comment, I only meant that it seemed you were giving him the kind of “pass” on his behavior that one might give a child. I said it because you mentioned his age, implying some immaturity. That’s all. Sorry if I annoyed.
Not annoyed so much as confused. Some guys think that since I do mommy vids that I am a maternal/nurturing person in real life…but I’m not actually great with kids and I don’t ‘mother’ my friends or partners. I just don’t necessarily equate being understanding & compassionate with being motherly. Maybe your penis was doing the thinking, looking for something that wasn’t there, trying to put a sexy or fetish twist on it. If so, sorry to harsh your buzz, there was nothing even remotely ‘mommy’ about what happened today.
Another great post. Thanks for the honesty.
As a young guy myself, I can see where he is coming from somewhat but he was still extremely naive. I would have never had the confidence (or cheek) to ask for ‘more’ hah.
Although I’m not sure I’d be able to cum from just a footjob either.
Fair enough…but to be clear: the foot job was HIS idea/request (over email). He might have jacked off to my foot job vids but in person he really just wanted regular sex with the woman he had fallen in ‘porn’ love with:-) Was it kind of a bait n’ switch? Maybe, but I don’t think he set out to maliciously waste my time so I’m not angry about it. Just annoyed.
As a 23 year old who has also been watching your videos for years, I have to say that I’m pretty disappointed that someone would be so naive as to request this from you. Although I’m not as sexually inexperienced (lost my v-card at 15), I would definitely know better then to ask for sexual favors.
While I respect your opinion, I think you are being a little to easy on this guy. It would be one thing to fall in ‘porn’ love with a normal porn star, but a dominatrix? I would think that the only kind of ‘porn’ love that anyone would fall in love with you would involve domination, humiliation, etc.
Don’t get me wrong, if I showed up to a session and you wanted to fuck I would be more then happy to oblige, but that certainly wouldn’t be what I was going into the session looking for.
P.S. Do you do skype sessions? I so, how do I go about booking/paying for a session?
YES, I do skype sessions. Please email me for details: MsT@MistressT.net
I honestly think this was a complex situation and you dealt with it in the best possible way: not being rude to him, but of course sticking firmly to the “terms and conditions” of your session. I hope when he looks back he will eventually realize that he put you in an awkward position and that your response to his advances was indeed the best that could happen.
It must be extremely difficult to find a dependable young guy to do scenes. I remember when I was that age, I did two sessions, each with a different dominatrix. In the beginning, I thought I had to have it all in one session. Little did I know that I couldn’t even handle what I was asking for. There is a lot to be said for wisdom that comes with age.
Well on the good side, he had the privilege of meeting you, which most slaves don’t get, and that should outweigh any disappointment I would think. The reality check is probably good for him. I really liked the quote about a cuddle!
He has read the blog entry and emailed since. He is grateful for having had the opportunity to meet me…it was a huge thrill for him…and yes, the reality check did him some good too I think.
Ah “men.” You give them an inch, and they try for a mile.
Hello, here’s my opinion
He was a little bit of a jerk since he weren’t straight up and honest, but he was probably also nervous and insecure, and as you say; young. And I think you, MistressT, handled the situation in the best possible way, by your understanding and compassion. And in the end he actually may have learned something. Seems like a win to me 🙂 If it were me in the same situation, I would have agreed with going for the tease & denial theme. But then again I’m older, more experienced and confident. If MistressT had been cruel to him, it could have potentially scarred him psycologically, and we all should respect her for not doing that. At least I do. I think you made the smartest and wisest choice here, and I will continue to buy your footjob clips, now “as a rule”, just for that! 🙂 And please do more…I’m a fan 😉
This had me laughing out loud. Thanks for sharing!