Fans of my films see the end result. The finished product, after all the set up, filming and editing. What goes on behind the scenes? Do you ever wonder? Do you wonder WHO the guy is? What his story is? Do you wonder if there were out-takes or bloopers? What happens when things don’t go as planned?
I hope this doesn’t pop the fantasy bubble for some of you, but I wanted to share an experience from today to give you a sense of the REALITY of the type of porn I create.
A few months ago a fan contacted me wanting to meet me. He lived far away in the US and after a few months and a hand full of emails he ended up coming to Vancouver. He really just wanted to meet me. A private session, coffee or filming was discussed and we settled on filming a foot job vid because he didn’t have enough money for a private session and I didn’t want to go on a date with him.
The moment he saw me he gushed that I was even more beautiful then they said I would be. I wondered who ‘they’ were but he was so nervous I just let it go.
He was young but showed me his ID to prove he was in his early 20’s (legal) and let me know right away he was sexually inexperienced. By that I assumed a virgin. I made him a cup of tea while he rambled on about what a huge fan he was and how amazing it was to finally meet me…he rambled about a bunch of other personal stuff too…I’m used to nervous guys doing this and just let him go on and on.
I didn’t say much as I set things up for filming, he was doing all the talking, watching me move around the room he paused mid sentence several times to say how beautiful I am in person.
Everything was all set and I told him to remove his cloths and lie down. His pubic hair wasn’t trimmed at all and he pretended to be surprised by it himself and said he ‘forgot’ to trim it…to which I replied: “You didn’t forget. Don’t lie. You have never trimmed that bush & you know I prefer it trimmed.” He apologized.
We started filming and he warned me that he would likely cum very quickly. He had filled out the film slave application from my blog so he knew I preferred film slaves who cum easily. I felt optimistic.
However, after several minutes of feet-on-cock action I could tell we were going to have problems. He said he needed to touch me. I allowed him to touch my leg. He asked to see me naked. I said no. He asked me to have sex with him. I said no. He said he needed more intimacy. I said: “You’ve come to the wrong place.”
At this point I’m thinking of you the reader. If you’re another Domme reading this you’re probably thinking either: “Jerk!” or “Yup, business as usual.” If you’re a guy reading this you’re probably thinking: “Geez, ya can’t blame the guy for trying!” or “Would it kill you to be a little nicer to the poor boy?”
I suggested that if he couldn’t actually cum from a foot job than we could do a tease and denial vid instead. He begged me not to, he said he needed to cum and that he could do it with his own hand. Now, I know that a vid with a guy jerking himself off on my feet isn’t going to be a big seller. I knew that by letting him do that I was pretty much putting the nail in the coffin of this shoot. All my time wasted. A vid that probably wouldn’t sell…but believe it or not, I have a soft spot. I told him to go for it. It was evident he was never going to cum from a foot job anyway. It wasn’t intimate enough for him.
After all was said and done he begged to film with me again. Promising he would do better next time…but also saying that he just needs more intimacy. I explained that you don’t go to a car mechanic to get your toilet fixed…and you don’t come to someone who specializes in humiliation and Domination for a cuddle.
He admitted to being a virgin. I asked if he really thought I would have sex with him and he said he hoped so and he was sure he would cum in like 30 seconds FOR SURE. I let him know that that wasn’t going to sell me on the idea. It’s not going to happen.
I feel bad for him. I do. To be a virgin in your early 20’s and to come so far just to meet the fantasy woman you’ve been jerking off to for years and then to be sexually rejected by her. As much as I do humiliation and cruelty in my vids, I actually didn’t get any pleasure from sending him away so sad. I wasn’t about to have pity sex with him though.
I haven’t decided what I’ll do with the vid yet. I’ll have to watch it and think about it. Here’s a still from the cum shot:
If anyone has the thought that I wouldn’t have these issues if I hired professional male performers…understand that overall I prefer to work with real fans, personal lovers or friends. I think it gives my films a more authentic feel. I also really enjoy meeting and getting feedback from real fans…and I did enjoy meeting this boy today. I just didn’t enjoy sexually rejected him and I wish we could have created a better vid. You take the good with the bad though!
NEW NOTE (Added Aug 6, 2012): I decided to release the footage from this shoot. After watching it I felt like there was certainly enough hot stuff there for someone to jerk off to…but it’s also a very unique and interesting vid if you know the full story behind it. I did not edit out all the awkward bits either. This is the full, raw version:
(I can’t hyper link to clips4sale from here so you’ll have to do the extra work of copying & pasting the link. It’s called “Blooper Shoot Full Length”).