Hailey Heartless’s Speech on Sex Work & Stigma

I’m going to ask you to do some reading today. I know attention spans are short & if you don’t have time to read the whole thing now please come back to it & finish it.

No matter what you think of The Women’s March, Donald Trump, #MeToo, #TimesUp, Feminism or sex work, if you read this powerful speech with an open mind I’m confident you’ll come away with something to think about. And if it makes you think differently about something I encourage you to have the courage to pass it along to others. To talk about it.

Hailey Heartless is a Vancouver based whip smart activist, sex worker & so much more. You can find more of her via twitter: https://twitter.com/SadistHailey

& her website: https://www.haileyheartless.com

These are her speaking notes from March On Vancouver yesterday: https://medium.com/@SadistHailey/march-on-vancouver-2018-f7e57e6c1785

View story at Medium.com

 

Mistress T

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Cam Adventures & “Ask Me Anything”

I wore this on cam yesterday...& for a construction worker, inadvertently. Read on for details....

I wore this on cam yesterday…& for a construction worker, inadvertently. Read on for details….

Have you heard that question: “If you could have dinner with anyone, dead or alive, who would you choose?”

It’s a great question. Most of us would never have the opportunity to meet in person someone we have idolized or find fascinating. Answers range from Albert Einstein, Marilyn Monroe, Brad Pitt, JK Rowling, Elvis, Oprah Winfrey, Winston Churchill, Madonna, Barrack Obama…what would you talk about? What would you ask?

I do not consider myself to be in the same league as any of the above people. I am incredibly uncomfortable with the concept of celebrity. As a young girl I remember the conflicting feeling of wanting to be known for having accomplished something but really not wanting to be “famous”. I didn’t want to be in tabloids, I didn’t want the personal details of my life to be of interest to strangers. I wanted to be anonymous, not recognized in public by people I hadn’t met.

I’ve started doing more cam lately. Why? I could say it’s because I really like connecting with my fans, which is true & anyone who has had the opportunity can tell my heart is in the right place…but what has prompted it now, honestly, is money. Shocker? Everything is fine, it’s just that my “overhead” has gone up. I’ve recently moved into a more expensive place to have more sets for filming & decorating all the sets is costing a small fortune. Doing cam will offset the extra costs.

The increased one-on-one exposure to my fans has resulted in some awkward experiences tho. There is often a moment of disbelief on their part that it is actually me on cam. A gobsmacked, star-struck kind of reaction that really makes me squirm. Just being honest here. As I sit in my pj’s on this quiet Sunday morning, feeling like the most ordinary person in the world. Hearing guys say what shouldn’t surprise me: they’ve been jerking to my vids for years, that I am their ideal woman, that they feel a deep connection to me or feel like they’re in love with me…& so on.

Maybe it’s a feeling of knowing I could likely never live up to their expectations? That what ever pedestal they’ve put me on I would come crashing down from if they got to know me in real life. Not that the real me isn’t great, it’s just likely different than what they imagine. Ya know?

Anyway, I’ll share a funny story from yesterday. I was sitting in my living room in lingerie & a satin robe. I had a guy on cam who had just said: “Let me get into position & cram this thing in my ass”, as he laid back & started cramming that thing in his ass I heard the key in the front door. I was not expecting anyone but a few people have access to my place right now during the renovations. I quickly spun my laptop in the other direction as the construction worker walked through the door & we both looked startled to see each other. He started to apologize & I told him to go through but to not come back up from the basement until I came down to talk to him.

I had to explain to my cam guy that it was someone doing construction on my place who was not supposed to just enter unannounced like that. He went on with his ass fucking, undeterred & afterward I went down to clarify the rules again. Yes, still in my satin robe because I had been on cam for about 10 minutes & I had no idea if the construction worker was just there to grab something quickly & was trapped in the basement waiting for me to give him the all-clear. His eyes darted down to the trim of my bra peeking out of the neckline of my robe. Black with silver rivets (as seen in the pic at the top of this post).

So. Fucking. Awkward.

But also kind of funny.

He certainly got the message that he was not to enter again without notice. Sheesh.

So, you can schedule a cam (skype) session with me if you want me to watch you cram something in your ass, or if you want me to role-play a scenario or character from my vids with you, if you want to indulge your fetish for pantyhose, leather gloves or whatever…if you want me to tell you to hurt yourself or eat your own cum. If you want to amuse me with a little show or make me laugh. You can also just chat with me & ask me anything (within reason, come on, I’m not telling you how often I floss, that’s only my dentists business. lol)

Speaking of “Ask Me Anything”, I started a Reddit AMA today. We’ll see how that goes…check it out here: https://www.reddit.com/r/casualiama/comments/7qcp1u/iama_41_year_old_fetish_porn_performerproducer/

I’m back filming & hustling so email me for custom vid requests or cam time (minimum $150USD): MsT@MistressT.net

All emails are read by me & my time is valuable so please communicate clearly & briefly. If it’s too long-winded, I won’t read it & I won’t respond. If it’s too difficult to understand I won’t respond. If it’s just a compliment without a request for something I probably won’t respond either. I know that might make me seem like a dick but I’m doing the job of at least 3 people here, somethings gotta give & I’ve decided to not respond to emails that don’t directly lead to a business transaction. I am running a business here. Truth.

Happy jerking!

Mistress T

Members Site: www.MistressT.net

C4S (Buy vids or just send a TRIBUTE! I love random tributes!): http://www.clips4sale.com/23869

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Hello 2018

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Other possible titles for this blog:

“The Unsuccessful Search for an Assistant”

“I guess this job is harder than I thought?”

“The realities of running a small porn production business”

About 8 months ago I decided to hire an assistant. After doing everything myself for years & seeing some of my peers outsource or have assistance with various aspects of the business I decided to give it a go.

I admit, I was feeling a bit at the end of my rope with email. It is overwhelming & so much of it can be answered with my FAQ but when I tried an auto-responder fans hated it & it created a massive junk mail problem.

The video & photo editing I really enjoy but it’s not the best use of my time. I felt I could benefit from increased tweeting as well as having someone try to put a dent in the colossal amount of stolen content being shared on free sites. The person could also screen my emails, sending the appropriate link with the information if it were one of the usual questions & just sending me the ones that needed my personal attention.

The first person I hired didn’t work out after several months. Although they seemed to be able to do the job tasks well enough after a lot of time invested in training they had miscalculated how busy their lives were. They just didn’t have time to do the job and the work wasn’t getting done on time.

I learned from the first experience and was more careful with the second hire. I painted the worst picture of the job to try to ensure they knew what they were signing up for. The reality is that you’re saturated in sexual & pornographic material. From reading the words in emails to seeing the images while editing pics, vids or looking for pirated content on free sites. The product is porn, the way it would be food in a restaurant or automobiles in a car dealership.

My second hire felt confident this wouldn’t be a problem but they have just capitulated, resigned, sounding traumatized, mentioning having nightmares from it all.

You could chalk it up as their problem, that they shouldn’t have taken the job if they didn’t think they could handle it…but that’s not giving the issue the contemplation it deserves.

Many of you reading this love porn, certainly the porn I produce. The idea of getting paid to work with it, to edit my vids & pics, to tweet about it, to look for it on free sites, might seem highly appealing. I deliberately did not hire someone who was ‘into’ my porn because I thought that would cause other problems, but I didn’t account for how unpleasant it might be for someone who was not into it.

One of my peers has had her content edited by a gay man for years & I’ve spoken to him about it, he just thinks it’s all funny. I made the mistake of assuming that would be the default, that if someone wasn’t turned on by it, that they would just find it funny or not be affected by it. To be fair, the damage was not done by my vids but more by looking for my content on free sharing sites to get removed. Seeing all that other porn too. But I had naively thought that was one of the easier parts of the job. Not so.

So I’m back to doing everything myself. I won’t make the mistake of trying to hire an assistant again. On top of that I’m at the very tail end of finishing my book & planning to embark on new ventures: getting articles published & doing podcasts, new activities that are meant to work in concert with a book launch this year. I have recently moved into a new place for the purpose of having better film sets. Samantha Mack has been a huge help in decorating sets while I was away but there’s still work I need to do. (Check out her vids: https://www.clips4sale.com/studio/36796/mack-movies )

I’m glad that I’m feeling rejuvenated after my trip to Africa in December, I’m going to need all the energy I have, as well as a few more hours in the day if possible. ha ha

I know, 1 crummy pic with some wilder beasts after a month in Africa...I'm sure you feel ripped off. It's what I have at the moment & it's better than nothing.

I know, 1 crummy pic with some wilder beasts after a month in Africa…I’m sure you feel ripped off. It’s what I have at the moment & it’s better than nothing.

Africa was great, by the way. I saw all the animals on safari, zebra’s, elephants, giraffe’s, lions, etc. The hot air balloon ride over the Serengeti was thrilling. I also visited some local tribes & villages, learning about their culture. The last end I enjoyed a few relaxing days at the beach in Zanzibar. Hours reading (The Handmaids Tale by Margaret Atwood), playing chess, making love, walking along the beach at sunset, eating good food & sleeping lots.

So, Happy New Year! 2018 is off with a bang for me, it looks like it’s going to be a busy one.

xo

Mistress T

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