I’ve had a lot of time to think here in Thailand. I basically just do yoga, eat, sleep, write and do a few other fun things. It’s the longest I’ve gone without filming or editing. I have an auto-responder on my email so I just check it occasionally for anything urgent that my auto-response doesn’t address.
My life is usually about 70% Mistress T. (Anyone who runs their own business will understand) Right now it’s about 10% Mistress T.
I haven’t told a single person in a month what I do for work. I realized last night when I met someone new and told the white lie of being a video editor. I haven’t had to explain what my bizarre job is or lie about it in weeks. People here are less about ‘what do you do back home?’ and more about ‘what are you doing here right now?’.
It’s interesting to me that to thousands of men I am just Mistress T. That they only see me as the cruel cuckoldress, the holder of chastity keys, the ass-fucker, the woman who makes men suck cock, the kinky MILF, the strict Dominatrix, the ball-buster, the one who controls orgasms, makes men submit…that to some men I am only Mistress T.
I see you. The jerker-offer. I see you eating your own cum. I see you sticking toys in your ass watching my vids, imagining it’s my strap-on. I see you following my instructions and cumming on command. I see you and I know that is not all that you are. I know that after you cum you might have to get back to work, back to your wife, back to your sick mother, back to your favourite video game or TV show. I know that some of you are lonely and some of you are extremely busy. Some of you wrestle with religion and your desires. Some of you are sneaking around behind your wife’s back, some of you are watching my vids with your girlfriends. I know you have opinions and feelings.
I know that some of you want me to call you a worthless fucktard in one moment and then after you cum wish someone would tell you that you have worth and that you are loved.
I know that you are multi-dimensional. That you are complicated, sometimes contradictory.
I fulfill fantasies. I am a fantasy. Mistress T is a part of me but it’s not all of me and it’s dangerous to allow my fans to objectify me into that tiny box. By letting you see me, by making you really see me, I am hopefully fighting the objectification of all women. If I make a guy think: “Oh wow, Mistress T is actually a real person, she’s the kind of person that friends come to for support when they get their hearts broken, some of her peers call her Mistress Goofball because she’s so silly and loves to tell bad jokes, she was really socially awkward and lonely as a kid, she’s passionate about animal welfare and the environment so she’s mostly vegetarian, she loves cat vids and hates cucumbers…” Maybe the next time they see a hot woman in public or a woman in another porn video they’ll see past the tits & ass to the human beneath. The person who has loved, been loved, been hurt, who has fears, passions, problems and triumphs.
I’m not trying to stop you from having your indulgences. When your dick is hard what turns you on turns you on. It’s how you’re hard wired. But when you’ve blown your load take a moment to honour the Goddess who just helped you get your rocks off, whether it’s in person, in vid or your imagination. Whether it’s me or someone else. Take a moment to consider that they have a life beyond your fantasy, just like you. Respect.