My thoughts on condoms in porn…

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This post has nothing to do with the whole condom law thingy in California recently…but regarding that, I would have voted ‘no’ because I think performers should have a choice whether to use condoms or not. It shouldn’t be a law.

My body, my choice.

Which leads nicely into this blog post about MY thoughts on condoms in porn.

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Even the hyper-observant wouldn’t be able to tell how many men I’ve had unprotected intercourse with in my vids since their faces have so often been unidentifiable. I’ll tell you: three. Does that surprise you? How many men do you think I’ve had intercourse with in my vids using a condom? Less than twenty. In a decade & thousands of scenes, I’ve had sex with less than two dozen different male performers & only bareback with three.

Of those three, two of them were my long-term partners/boyfriends, the other one was a close friend & long term partner of a close friend. I trusted them completely with my sexual health. We all knew each others sexual activity & were tested regularly.

My choice to use condoms was about safer sex until more recently, when it also became about birth control. At 40 my doctor wanted me to consider going off the birth control pill that I’d been on since my teens. Apparently there are higher side-effect risks for older women. I wasn’t keen on getting surgery (tubes tied) or the invasive process of getting an IUD & potentially bleeding for months…sexy talk, eh? Perhaps too personal? Good. I’m a feminist who strives for EQUALITY & a part of that is both sexes being informed about & taking responsibility for birth control. So take a deep breath & keep reading because the next part is going to make you squirm even more.

My partner agreed to get a vasectomy which enabled me to go off the pill (& y’all still get the cream pie scenes you love so much!) but now the risk of having sex without a condom with others isn’t just about STI’s, I now risk an unwanted pregnancy. In other words, I’m not fucking anyone else without a condom. Period.

I’ve recently been approached by a big porn production company to do a boy/girl fuck scene but they had a bareback-only policy…& that got my back up.

So what’s the problem with condoms?

– Guys complain it reduces sensitivity so they lose their boner or can’t cum.

My thoughts on that: the condom just feels different & a guy isn’t used to the sensation. A simple solution is to jerk off with a condom to get used to it! If it’s just you masturbating & you’re on a budget, re-use that condom a few times. Yuck? Whatever. I’m sure you’ve done worse.

– There’s a stigma with condoms. It implies that one of you or both of you might be diseased & going without says that you trust each other.

My thoughts on that: grow the fuck up. Using a condom says that you respect your body & your partners body. If you want to do the trust thing down the line after you both get tested & agree to it…& you have other birth control sorted out, fine. But in the beginning, just grab the damn condom as if it’s a forgone conclusion & get on with it.

– Stopping to put the condom on interrupts the flow & you lose your boner.

My thoughts on that: you can jerk off while surfing porn & keeping an ear open for your roomie, boss, wife or mother in case they walk in, you can do this. Experiment with incorporating the condom into the play. I’ve seen guys effectively lick my pussy while putting the condom on at the same time & I’ve managed to put the condom on while stroking a cock & kissing the guy, just experiment & practice until it becomes just another part of the action. Figure it out.

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Honestly tho, the problems with condoms are mostly psychological so how do we help with that? Personally, I feel seeing more condoms in porn would help. Some disagree, saying porn is fantasy, it’s entertainment, guys don’t want to see condoms, it’s a turn off…but we all know that many, MANY young men are using porn as sex ed, like it or not & that what we see does influence sex trends. Anal sex & cumming on a woman’s face are two examples of things that were popularized by porn. There certainly wasn’t a huge women’s movement to try to convince men to cum on our faces, to fuck up our make-up, our hair & squirt sticky goop in our eyes that stings like a sonofabitch. Sex acts that were rarely done 50 years ago are now the norm for a lot of people & the driving force most of the time is porn.

So, it stands to reason that if men saw more condoms in porn that it would become more acceptable, reducing most of the problems with condom use & therefore reducing STI’s & unwanted pregnancies.

BUT, business is business & with so much piracy these days porn producers are fighting for every dollar. They say men won’t pay for porn with condoms in it. That’s probably true in enough cases for some porn producers to draw a hard line against condoms. It’s just business & changing this trend isn’t like turning a canoe around, it’s like turning the titanic around. It would take a lot of producers bravely using condoms in their scenes, taking the financial hit until the trend turned.

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So what can you do as a porn consumer? Decide to buy a porn scene even if you see there’s a condom & your knee-jerk reaction is negative. Give it a chance. Try to acclimatize yourself to it & support the producers who are taking the risk creating a scene with a condom & support the performers who are choosing that for their bodies. That’s about it as far as I can tell.

Also, if you don’t like fucking with a rubber, practice jerking off with one. Your dick, your responsibility. Figure it out.

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Also, get tested! Condoms are not 100% effective. Responsible fuckers use rubbers AND get tested regularly. It’s no big deal & it feels great to get the ‘all clear’ or to catch something early so you can treat it or deal with it. Ignorance isn’t bliss.

xo

Mistress T

Members Site: www.MistressT.net

C4S: http://www.clips4sale.com/23869

IWantClips: https://iwantclips.com/store/57715/Mistress-T

Twitter: https://twitter.com/MistressTdotnet

Canadian Amazon.ca wish list: Click here

US Amazon.com wish list: Click here

Aging In The Adult Industry

Mature Domme tip #107: You may not have the energy you had in your younger years. Keep a slave handy to use as a chair for when you need a little rest.

Mature Domme tip #107: You may not have the energy you had in your younger years. Keep a slave handy to use as a chair for when you need a little rest.

My birthday is tomorrow, Apr 29. I’ll be 41. So what’s it like aging in the adult industry?

Unlike the typical porn starlet, I was late to the biz. I started as a private dancer in a strip club when I was 28. The other gals where years younger except one & she didn’t really ‘dance’ for anyone. She had a few regulars who would pay her to sit & drink with them.

I dipped in & out of the adult industry for a few years & was about 32 by the time my fetish video business was full steam ahead. I started referring to myself as a MILF in the early days & added ‘mature’ soon after. The oldest among my peer group they sometimes refer to me as ‘Nana’ (& sometimes Mistress Goofball, but this isn’t a post about how hilarious I am.)

In a lot of survey’s, “MILF” is a very popular search term, often ranking higher than ‘teen’. Here’s some stats: https://www.pornhub.com/insights/2016-year-in-review

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So in a world that in every other way tells you that as a women your value nose dives after 40 (or even after 35), I work in an industry where not only am I highly valued, there’s a lot less competition. I’ve even hammed up the older bit by wearing a grey wig & you’ll often see me in glasses, pearl necklaces, satin blouses or suites. For business, I’m not trying to pretend I’m younger, if anything, the opposite.

Silver fox:-)

Silver fox:-)

How many adult film performers are still in the biz after 40? A helleva lot less than those in their 20’s.

I have received some very generous offers from various big porn production companies who are desperate for MILF’s. I’m not really interested in working with other companies these days but since I find Virtual Reality fascinating you might see a VR fuck scene with me on HologirlsVR this year. My understanding is a key VR sex position requires me to straddle & ride a cock for several minutes & frankly, I’m not sure my knees will take it. ha ha

Yeah, I might need a helper to lift me up & down in this position. Sheesh.

Yeah, I might need a helper to lift me up & down in this position. Sheesh. (Find these scenes on https://www.hologirlsvr.com)

Anyway, back to how I feel about things. I’ll be honest, in the real world I don’t have the same ‘pull’ that I used to. Men don’t quite look at me the same, or look at me at all. Online though, things heat up more each year. Business is booming, sales numbers don’t lie, plus I get loads of messages from men of all ages desiring an older woman.

As if by cruel design though, with each passing year I become more settled, with less inclination to travel, with less energy to work, with less drive to work as hard as I did in the beginning. Finally achieving work-life balance I am no longer married to my work, I have a full & rich life outside of the biz. With an eye to the future I wonder when it will make sense to start to wind down the business. A recent meeting with my financial advisor, he posed the usual questions which were mathematical to him but personal to me: “How much longer do you think you’ll make this income? When will you need to start drawing on your investments? Etc.”

I really don’t know? My heart is still in it but when is the tipping point when I’m no longer a ‘hot MILF’ but I’ve gone ‘past my expiry date’? Of course I want to end on a high note & not drag things out to the point of embarrassment. I know I’m not near that yet but geez, ya know what I mean?

In writing this I did some research on Bettie Page. I thought that she had at one point decided to retire, maybe in her mid 30’s & had never let another photograph be taken of her. That she wanted to be remembered by her fans how she was. Unfortunately my research resulted in a less romantic explanation. She may have actually found religion. So I can’t draw any parallels here about Bettie Page feeling her age, etc. I’ll move on without Ms. Page.

Personally, I love getting older mentally. I wouldn’t want to go back to knowing less, having experienced less. Physically, I don’t think anyone is happy about aging. No one says: “Thank god my skin is starting to wrinkle! I’ve been waiting for this for too long!” The cosmetic industry is booming thanks to people fighting growing old tooth & nail. I’m not convinced there’s such a thing as growing old gracefully & there’s so few women in the public eye doing it naturally that most of us wouldn’t even know what it looks like anymore. I won’t stay on that topic as I know men would prefer to stay blissfully unaware of what women do to look good, while men often consider combing their hair as stepping up their game & trimming their nose hairs as ‘extreme grooming’. Ha ha

The book I’ve been writing is about my life. It’s been amazing working with my editor, going back through & discussing details of various chapters of my story. Seeing how events & experiences shaped who I am. Some pleasant, some not, but it all contributed. I hoped to have the book done in my 40th year & although that didn’t happen, the majority of the work on it happened in my 40th year & it will be done long before my 42nd.

Turning back toward aging in this industry…it’s amazing actually. In the real world as I start to become invisible…as I’m overlooked by more men, I am becoming more desirable to certain fans. Sure, being fetishized for being ‘older’ is somewhat objectifying, like being fetishized for being an Asian woman, a black man, a BBW, etc. but most people tend to be drawn to certain physical traits, I don’t really see anything wrong with that. We like what we like, & for men seeking a mature woman, their options are more limited in porn…& here I am. Experienced, still good lookin’ & not planning to make my exit anytime soon.

Oh…& in case you felt inclined to send me a treat for my birthday, here’s my updated wish lists:

Canadian Amazon.ca wish list: Click here

US Amazon.com wish list: Click here

xo

Mistress T

Members Site: www.MistressT.net

C4S: http://www.clips4sale.com/23869

IWantClips: https://iwantclips.com/store/57715/Mistress-T

Twitter: https://twitter.com/MistressTdotnet

 

Behind the scenes…

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Uh-oh…now I’ve got cum all over my hands…how am I going to turn the camera off?

Do you ever wonder what the story is with the guys I film with? Do you wonder what happens before & after the scene is filmed? Do you wonder what gets edited out?

I do pretty much all of my filming in Vancouver, Canada. In this city we don’t have a thriving porn production industry, which means we don’t have a roster of professional adult film performers to hire like in LA.

Every guy I film with has his own unique story. It’s never: “I hired him through his agent.”

Some of the guys have been my personal lovers who have been excited by the idea of performing in a porn scene. A few have been private clients. I’ve met guys thru the local fetish scene. Some have come through other Domme friends (we often share good male talent). Many have been fans who have emailed me asking if they can be in my vids (via the film slave application: http://blog.mistresst.net/fetish-focus/film-slave-application-updated/).

Mistress T kneeing a lucky slave in the nuts.

Nothing says “I love you” like a knee in the gonads…we’re not together “romantically” anymore but one of my ex’s & I still make great ball busting vids together…& he films with others.

Some guys only do one scene because they can’t perform ‘under pressure’ or they’re from out of town. Others stay longer, some for years & dozens of scenes. Some come & go depending on their travel schedule, relationship status or any number of reasons.

Here’s how it typically goes with most of my current film guys:

I have everything ready before he arrives, the set, lights, camera, my outfit, props, lube, etc. He comes in, we chat for a minute, I tell him what we’re going to be filming, he showers, we film it, then if he has time we sit down for a cup of tea or a glass of water & have a longer chat. I’m quite friendly with most of my film guys so I really enjoy the time to connect after the scene has wrapped.

It’s all very civilized really. I try to keep things very low-stress & enjoyable.

Note that it’s just the two of us (unless there’s three of us in the scene, like cuckolding). No camera operator or other people. I’ve been on larger production film sets with a ‘crew’ & I prefer the intimacy of just us. It means I do everything (moving the camera or lights around in the middle of a scene, for example) but that’s okay, I’m used to it.

What hits the editing room floor? (So to speak)

I do my own editing by the way…

The beginning of the scene that you don’t see is sometimes me staring into the lens trying to come up with a story line. It’s true, I don’t always know what I’m going to say even a moment before I film. Sometimes I’m waiting for the guys dick to get fully erect before I start the scene. Sometimes I’m greasing up my feet, ass, boobs or whatever with coconut oil. I might be giving last minute instructions to the guy, like keep his head down out of frame, try to not breath too heavy if he’s near the mic, etc. So I cut the first few minutes out usually.

In the middle of the scene I may cut out bad audio, like loud noises from outside, me running to get more lube, me clearing my throat, me tripping over a word & saying the line over again, me checking with the guy to make sure he’s okay…most often it’s me moving the camera & lighting around during the scene since there’s no one else to do it. Sometimes if the guy is taking a long time to cum I edit out a few minutes of me just stroking his dick.

At the end of the scene the parts I cut out are actually the parts I’d love to leave in. The funniest stuff happens then. The guy has cum, the scene is done & there’s splooge all over the place. Half the time I forget to plan for this (when will I learn?) & I’m awkwardly trying to turn the camera off with the one clean finger I have, or my nose or elbow. If I have slippery stuff on my feet & I didn’t plan ahead I’ll be cursing as I try to get to the bathroom without slipping, where I stand on one leg with my foot in the sink, cleaning up…the guy is laying there naked, covered in cum (they’ve received the same instruction every damn time: DON’T MOVE. I don’t want them dripping cum all over the place.) I get them a warm wet cloth to mop up with & sometimes that’s enough, sometimes they still want or need another shower.

Wow, cum everywhere! Oh no...

Wow, cum everywhere! Oh no…

Guess I'm hopping to the bathroom on one foot again...fuck.

Guess I’m hopping to the bathroom on one foot again…fuck.

There’s usually some laughs at this point, whether I’ve managed to get the camera turned off or not. I’ve dropped the sultry voice & whatever shtick I’ve been doing for the last 15 mins or so. I’m likely commenting on the size of the cum shot or scolding him for making such a big mess (in jest: “Why do you keep coming over here & shooting goo all over my place? You’re the worst house guest EVER. ha ha ha”) Often the conversation is happening while I’m trying to clean my hands up & get him a wet cloth while he’s laying there naked covered in cum, a captive audience to my (sometimes) clever, goofball remarks.

What a mess! These gloves were BRAND NEW. Tsk Tsk...

What a mess! These gloves were BRAND NEW. Tsk Tsk…

Sometimes I tease the guy for cumming to whatever fucked up story line I’d been using. “I can’t believe you came to me telling the viewer to suck your cock. Are you sure you’re straight? Maybe you’re not as straight as you think? ha ha ha” He’s literally a stunt cock & has to learn to cum no matter what I’m saying, even if it’s not his fetish or interest.

Mistress T with a cock

From “Cum Drinking Cock Sucking Sissy”

One time while I was editing I caught a guy flexing his arm like a macho-man in the mirror after I’d left the room & hadn’t turned the camera off yet. He was really shy which made it even more hilarious, out of character for him. I screen shot it & sent it to him. He was SO embarrassed. I still raz him about it.

I could go on & on. I really do have fun with my guys. They’re all so unique & interesting. It’s difficult at first, guys are nervous, I don’t know them well yet, so I prefer working with guys that can become regulars. The ongoing relationships I have with them means a lot to me, even when they don’t film with me anymore, the often stay in touch or come back to me months or years later.

So there’s a little peek into the behind the scenes world of my video production. The next time you watch one of my vids where the guy ejaculates & you come to the end, dealing with your own cum mess, know that I’m also cleaning up. Possibly while making goofy jokes, trying to turn my camera off with my elbow or hopping on one foot to the bathroom.

xo

Mistress T

Members Site: www.MistressT.net

C4S: http://www.clips4sale.com/23869

IWantClips: https://iwantclips.com/store/57715/Mistress-T

Twitter: https://twitter.com/MistressTdotnet

Canadian Amazon.ca wish list: Click here

US Amazon.com wish list: Click here

 

Now Mobile-Friendly + Discounted!

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I’ve recently made 2 important improvements to my site:

#1. Mobile-friendly! Members can now stream my vids on any mobile device! You can watch my vids on your smart phone, iPad, etc. If you have the space you can download them too but I understand that streaming on smaller devices will be the most important feature to a lot of my fans.

#2. New discounted price for recurring Premium membership! $39 recurring monthly is the new price ($10 less than it was before!). That gives you access to 1460 vids in my library + at least 10 new vids per month! (Usually 12 or 13)

Join now here: https://www.mistresst.net/content/front

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If you are currently on the previous price & you want to change it here’s how: (Unless you consider your membership a way of serving me than just leave it at $49/month)

Simply go to www.vtsup.com and log in with the same username/password you use for my site. Follow the instructions – it’s easy. (Then rejoin my site with the same username/password to get the new price for the PREMIUM recurring membership.)

If you have any problems please email my helpful webmaster: Webmaster@MistressT.net

There are other little improvements to the site, like “Infinity Scroll” on the video page. You can turn it on or off.

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Did you know my members site is 8 years old? I started my clips store a year before that & was performing in Club Stiletto scenes the year before…& doing Professional Domination sessions privately before that. So I’ve passed a decade in the biz. Wow, I have done A LOT of kinky stuff!

I’m still enjoying it & I’m glad that so many of you are still loving my content. My site has been doing better than ever despite not being completely compatible with some mobile devices so I’m excited that a lot more fans will be able to enjoy my vids now that my site has been improved. 8 years ago watching porn on phones was not as common. Now I think it has become one of the primary ways guys are watching porn.

I understand there is a lot of free content out there. If you are a fan of me & a fan of my content joining my site is the best way to show your devotion, support & also to most easily & safely view my content without annoying ads, click-bait, pop-ups, risk of viruses & contributing to illegal piracy that’s negatively impacting my industry. Thanks for your support! xo

Mistress T

Members site: http://www.MistressT.net
PPV: http://www.clips4sale.com/23869
Blog: http://www.MistressT.net/blog/
Twitter: https://twitter.com/MistressTdotnet

 

Rumors of my retirement have been greatly exaggerated.

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I have no plans or intentions to retire in the near future.

That could be the end of this blog post, but I’ll expand on it.

Apparently there has been some rumors circulating that I will soon retire. The only reason I can think of for the rumors is a possible misunderstanding regarding the short break I took several months ago to start writing my book.

By the way, there has not been much progress on the book since I returned to work so it looks like I’ll have to schedule more breaks from work & write in chunks as it does not seem possible to do both simultaneously.

But taking breaks for 1-3 months once or twice a year is not the same as retiring!

I have been Mistress T for about a decade and I recently turned 40. In this biz both of those milestones are significant. Most female performers in adult films do not stay in the industry that long & most are not doing it into their 40’s.

I still love it though & it’s the best job I’ve had. I love running my own business, working for myself, having full control over things & the freedom to create work life balance however I choose. I did my time in my 20’s working more traditional 9-5 jobs in the vanilla world & I would not go back to it. Working for other people, dealing with office politics, following other people’s rules…it wasn’t for me.

So what will I do after this? I honestly don’t know & I don’t feel like I need to know yet. I have no plans to retire any time soon but I have been careful with my money & I have a lot of transferable skills. I’ll have more options than the cliche 30 year old ex porn star with no other job experience or education who didn’t save any money.

I have been working less the last year & that will continue. I put a lot of time & energy into building this business for years. I practically lived out of a suitcase traveling internationally to film & session. I’ve done all my own filming & editing, answered my own emails, written my blog posts, managed my own social media, marketing & all the other small & big things that business owners do. I’ve been rewarded & have the business built up to the point where I don’t need to put in as much time for it to keep chugging along. Sure, I could make more money doing more web cam & sessions, producing more content, etc…& I know my fans desperately wish I toured the world constantly so they could session with me in their city…but the personal expense of that extra money is too great. My physical & emotional/mental health is worth more. At this time, I am happier living a quieter life in Vancouver, working less, enjoying other aspects of life more.

But I am not planning to retire! Working less probably means that ya’ll will have me around for longer.

So if you want to meet me, you have 2 choices but both are expensive unfortunately. You can come to Vancouver…or you can possibly bring me to you. I am not keen to travel these days BUT if I’m compensated very well AND I feel interested & comfortable, it’s possible. Both in Vancouver & elsewhere that means meeting just me/solo or with my lover & I (cuckolding and/or encouraged bi).

I love meeting fans for interesting conversation over a nice meal. Yes, going for lunch or dinner with Mistress T is a pleasure many lucky fans have enjoyed & I hope many more.

I rarely web cam/skype but that’s possible too…usually for the very generous & fairly flexible. Email: MsT@MistressT.net

Custom vids are a favorite of mine. I enjoy making your fantasies come true. Info on ordering custom vids: http://www.mistresst.net/blog/fetish-focus/custom-vids/

Film slaves/stunt cocks are still welcome to apply. Filming only in Vancouver these days. So ya need to be here or willing & able to come here. READ THIS BEFORE EMAILING: http://www.mistresst.net/blog/fetish-focus/booking-filming-springsummer-2016/

Lastly, please be respectful of my valuable time & don’t waste it. Please do not email me only to compliment or praise. As well-intentioned as it is, it adds up to more of an annoyance than anything beneficial. Please only email if you’re sending a properly communicated application to be in my films, if you want a custom vid or want to pay for my time/attention. If you want to SHOW your appreciation & adoration sending a tribute is far better than expecting me to take up my valuable time reading an email compliment. Here’s my wish list: AMAZON WISH LIST

xo

Mistress T

Members site: http://www.MistressT.net
PPV: http://www.clips4sale.com/23869
Blog: http://www.MistressT.net/blog/
Twitter: https://twitter.com/MistressTdotnet

Confessions of an Unlikely Film Slave

Mistress T with a cock

From “Cum Drinking Cock Sucking Sissy”

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From “Milked Drained Used”

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From “Medical Experiment”

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From” Ball Tease 1 Finger CumShot”

This was written by one of my film slaves:

I’m in my mid-thirties, a mild mannered, clean cut, IT middle manager, happily married (though clearly not fully sexually sated), and really just a mostly grown up geek.  Physically I’m average at best, including my cock. If you saw me on the street, stunt cock for femdom handjob porn videos would be the furthest from your assumptions and or imagination.

This tawdry tale starts about three years ago when porn music videos (PMV) were my primary extramarital libido quelling tool.  For the uninitiated; PMVs are basically montages of different porn, cut and edited to music, usually following a theme.  There is even a sub-genre referred to as cockhero where the video prescribes the way and tempo to which you should wank, with the challenge being to make it to the end and the designated reward montage.  Well, one of these videos finished with a montage of femdom material that included amongst others, some MistressT footage that was both novel and arousing.

Sleuthing out more of MistressT’s work wasn’t hard thanks to her watermark that was graciously left intact.  After some preview piracy, I ended up purchasing two videos from her clips4sale site which were already favourites in my rotation.  Some months later, and about a year and a half ago now, I went back for more and I stumbled onto her blog where one of the recent posts referenced a prior post on film slave applications, not only that, but I learned that MistressT was local to me and Vancouver based!  I figured it was clearly a sign.

I had no delusions that my chances weren’t astronomically slim despite my proximity.  I figured that in the least the application process itself would be fantasy fodder with the bonus of an outside chance for an opportunity of a lifetime.  I was meticulous in adhering to the application guidelines, treating it as though it was a job application and including a $50 tribute for piracy penance.  I spent a week brewing over the email, finally sent it, and MistressT replied in under an hour with “Well, they say you miss 100% of the shots you don’t take.  Sure, I’d give you a go.” and we setup a date and time.

For days leading up to the session I waffled between incredulity and nervous anticipation with building arousal throughout.  The session was scheduled for 4pm and having denied myself release for a couple days prior, all throughout the workday I was exceedingly horny and hopelessly distracted.  My first impressions of MistressT were that she was; nice, professional, in charge, smoking hot, exuding sexuality and short.  Some brief nervous banter ensued prior to getting down to the task at hand.

I left the first session feeling underwhelmed; I mean I had nothing to complain about, it was great in that I got jerked off by a hot, eager and almost naked lady and she filmed it to boot.  In part, I had worked up impossible anticipation and expectations and in part, it was a little weird and awkward that we were strangers.  It also was both weird and a fulfilled fantasy that I was being objectified and used only for my cock and that the situation lacked any sense of intimacy.  Shortly after the session I sent MistressT an email thanking her for the opportunity, sharing some of my feelings about the session and offering myself for future sessions if she was interested, thinking that I would not hear from her again.  I was wrong.

I’ve since had the pleasure of filming with MistressT several dozen times; including in a rented dungeon, with VR cameras (and on looking technicians) and some scenes that incorporated ideas and fantasies of my own.  So far, my two favourite scenes are “orgasm control tough love” and “1 finger cum shot”.  Even more rewarding than the getting off part (which is great) is being wanted for the part, for the confidence it has given me and for just having been in porn, I mean what guy hasn’t fantasized about that?  The weirdness and awkwardness that was there initially has dissolved as we have slowly gotten to know each other and built a rapport.  In this process, I discovered that MistressT, and more so the multi faceted woman behind her is really a great and interesting person and someone that I wanted to call a friend.

This classic worlds in collision scenario caused and continues to cause me angst.  First, I wasn’t positive that the feelings were mutual, and I didn’t want to be misconstrued as creeper and make things awkward.  Regardless, it seemed moot as the legitimate options for social overlap have significant hurdles on my end, namely my wife and societies petty sexual hang ups.  It pains me that I have not, and cannot share this with my wife and best friend, especially since I think her and the person behind MistressT would get along swimmingly.  In fact, I have not shared that I am a film slave with a single sole, in part this is eating me up and I’m dying to tell someone, in part having a dirty little secret is fun.  I mentioned this dilemma to a friend of mine recently, she told me that I should write about it and she would post it on her blog…

Only a fool knows what the future holds, I hope though that mine contains a good many more filming sessions, pushed boundaries, explored fantasies and engaging banter with MistressT.  Even more so, I sincerely hope that our friendship continues to develop and that I might also have the courage to further collide our worlds.  Whatever my future holds, it’s been an absolute privilege to have known and to have been known by MistressT, a refreshing counterpoint to the vast swaths of mostly vapid humanity.

Members site: http://www.MistressT.net
PPV: http://www.clips4sale.com/23869
Blog: http://www.MistressT.net/blog/
Twitter: https://twitter.com/MistressTdotnet

My version of “FemDom”.

mistresst_LH_pantyhose_legsspread

The debate around what FemDom is or is not is one that seems to never get old. The concept of there being rules for being a proper Dominatrix actually seems rather humorous. To get nude or not, to wank a dick or not, to fuck your slaves or not, etc. It’s a big, wide topic that I’ll narrow to just me for now.

Over the last decade I’ve figured out what feels right for me. It’s been an interesting journey that continues to evolve. At times I’ve tried various things and then decided to not do them anymore. If you’ve been following be since the beginning you might have noticed that some video themes came & went.

When I get custom video requests I often go with my gut. I know by now what I’m going to be comfortable with for personal reasons or in terms of my ‘branding’. As far as my branding is concerned, I’ve spent years trying to do a simple thing: portray myself as a woman who is in control of her body & sexuality and who is also in control of the male’s I interact with.

For me, that is my simple version of FemDom. Female in control. That can take a lot of different forms. It can be sensual or subtle Domination in various roles. It doesn’t have to be linked to physical pain or dungeons.

So when I get requests to do vids where I am in any way objectified, not in full control, like I’m so horny I’ll do something I wouldn’t otherwise do, where a male is in the power role, etc. I know that it’s not right for me.

I feel that the vast majority of porn on the internet portrays women as submissive, weak, often degraded objects there for the pleasure of men. I don’t need to create any more content like that, there’s plenty. I’d like to try to balance things out by offering a different dynamic.

A lot of men want to give up control. They want a woman to initiate & to take her pleasure. They find confidence sexy.  Despite that, the tidal wave of mainstream porn, the music/film industry, media & advertising brainwashing everyone into thinking of women as objects is a powerful force. When so-called fans ask me to do typical mainstream porn acts like take it in the ass, have guys blow their loads on my face, in my mouth, on my tits, on my ass…why ask me for that? Isn’t the billion images on the internet of women doing that enough? Or is it specifically that I don’t that makes it appealing? The whole fucked up thing of persuading women to push their boundaries. A girl in a bikini will get asked to get naked. A naked girl will be asking to masturbate….then jerk a dick, then suck it, then fuck it…but that’s not enough…then she’ll be asked to take it in the ass, then a gang bang, and on and on…until she’s used up. This is exactly how it goes for the majority of women who get into the adult industry.

And I feel the pressure. I have felt it from day 1. The pressure to do more. How no matter what I did, guys always wanted more. Happily there are many loyal fans who love what I do & to them I am eternally grateful. Happily I am able to assert my boundaries & I actually take pleasure in saying: “No, I’m not going to do that.” I enjoy denying men when I sense they are part of the “more!” culture. The pushers. Those addicted to trying to get women to do things they don’t really want to do. There are so many of them & it’s become so accepted that guys don’t even realize it’s a problem…but hey you, if you’ve ever tried to persuade a woman to do something beyond what you think she’s comfortable with: fuck you.

If you want to see what it looks like when a woman is in control of her body & her sexuality study FemDom vids, mine & those in my network of peers. We’re not always perfect, sometimes we try things & they don’t work out like we thought, sometimes we can even seem hypocritical, we’re human, but overall the modeling in healthier. It’s a step closer to equality. FemDom isn’t about equality but it swings the pendulum far enough in the other direction from the usual that it puts a dent in the normalization of female objectification…& I’m happy to do my part.

Mistress T

Members site: http://www.MistressT.net
PPV: http://www.clips4sale.com/23869
Blog: http://www.MistressT.net/blog/
Twitter: https://twitter.com/MistressTdotnet

POV vs. Voyeur?

Do you prefer porn where you are passively watching the action like a voyeur or when you feel more directly involved?

I was just contemplating POV (point-of-view) style filming, where the performer looks directly at the camera lens, connecting with the viewer, sometimes speaking directly to the viewer. Like in ‘virtual fucking’ where I’m alone with the camera but the angles give the viewer the feeling I’m riding his cock or face…or when there’s a stunt cock in the scene but the camera angle is set up basically where his head is so the viewer feels like the cock in the vid is his…or the view from where a cuckold might be, or a slave inside a cage, etc.

From "Cum Drinking Cock Sucking Sissy"

From “Cum Drinking Cock Sucking Sissy”

From a POV virtual fucking scene "MILF Sex Ed"

From a POV virtual fucking scene “MILF Sex Ed”

From "Mindblowing Handjob"

From “Mindblowing Handjob”

From "Foot Worship POV"

From “Foot Worship POV”

From "Latex Gloves Ruined Twice"

From “Latex Gloves Ruined Twice”

From "Beg For Release"

From “Beg For Release”

I was thinking about this in relation to some of the virtual reality filming I’ve done recently with HologirlsVR (www.HoloGirlsVR.com). Full virtual reality (with the goggles) is certainly more immersive but more on that another day.

hologirls_banner_screenshot

I understand a lot of my viewers have had little or no sex…or little or no kinky/FemDom/fetish experiences. It can be hard enough for some guys to get laid at all but even harder in the real world for guys to get to live out their niche fantasies. I realize that watching my vids & imagining they are right there or they are the guy in the scene is as close as many of my fans will get to a real experience…be it a cuckold experience, or real humiliation experience, or even foot worship!

Watching my vids is a safe, discreet way to get their kink on & in some situations it’s probably better than the real thing. One could argue that the thrill & fulfillment from an in-person experience can’t be matched but one could counter argue that real life seldom lives up to expectations. It really depends. It’s a gamble.

It’s certainly a lot more cost effective to jerk off to a $10 vid than to spend hundreds on an in-person session with a Professional Dominatrix, although if you have the money that’s certainly a better option than spending hundred of hours trawling dating sites trying to find a woman who is into the same kinks, lives near by & with whom you get along with otherwise.

With this in mind I put in a lot of effort to genuinely connect to my viewer. I know that this experience might be the closest they ever get to living out their fantasies. I try to make it as real as possible.

I wonder how this is different from just watching the action in a porn vid where the performers don’t look at the camera & don’t address the viewer. It’s very rare for me to do a scene like this. Even if I’m doing a scene with a guy I usually address the viewer at some point, even if it’s just making eye contact with the camera lens, to let the viewer know I know he’s watching. They call that “breaking the 4th wall” in movie-making & theater. Deadpool does a lot of that & even points it out. (Side note: LOVED the movie Deadpool!).

But it can pull you out of the fantasy. It was certainly a no-no to look at the camera during most filming traditionally.

So, I wonder how ‘voyeur’ style porn vs. “POV” style porn effects the sexual development of men, young & older? Would POV style porn better prepare a guy for the real thing? I wonder how a guys body responds to POV vs. voyeur style scenes? For example, when I put the goggles on to view VR (virtual reality) scenes & I looked up to see a woman standing over me my body had a very noticeable physical reaction. My body did not know there wasn’t a real person there. I automatically reached up to touch her & it felt like I could.

The voyeur aspect of just watching people having sex or doing a FemDom scene, ignoring the camera certainly has its place too. That’s a style of viewing we’re certainly more used to. It’s how most TV shows, movies & traditional porn is presented.

From "Your Cuckolding Vid"

From “Your Cuckolding Vid”

From "Ball Abuse Ass Tease"

From “Ball Abuse Ass Tease”

I’m curious to hear your thoughts on this topic. Please share your feedback in the comments area here on my blog so others can see & respond community-style (not on twitter or email, that doesn’t make sense really. Thanks!)

Best,
Mistress T

Members site: http://www.MistressT.net
PPV: http://www.clips4sale.com/23869
Blog: http://www.MistressT.net/blog/
Twitter: https://twitter.com/MistressTdotnet

Back to work!

So I got back to work yesterday. I filmed for the first time in months, the longest filming break I’ve taken.

I had planned to start filming again in April & my keen film guys were chomping at the bit so filming got scheduled for April 1, without delay.

What hadn’t been scheduled was a bout of unglamorous food poisoning the day before. I was feeling pretty weak the morning of filming and considered cancelling the whole thing but decided to soldier on. I have always hated cancelling plans & pride myself on a reputation of being super reliable.

I dusted off the lights that were in storage and checked the camera to make sure it was still working. During its hiatus the battery had stopped working even though it was charged, but the camera works while plugged in, so no panic. That wonderful camera has traveled all over the last few years and has served me well. I don’t plan on retiring it. Hopefully a new battery will do the trick.

I had recently converted my purple ‘set’ to teal and I was excited to see how it would film. Yup, that’s what gets me excited and I’m not alone. I’ll give you a bit of behind-the-scenes info. I’ve filmed on a lot of sets and producers tend to put a lot of thought into colors and details. We really do get excited about our sets. Truth.

I took extra time to do my hair & make-up. I knew I was feeling tired, I didn’t want to look tired.

My pal Samantha Mack popped by to grab my dick. An impromptu visit. She had a custom vid request that required a very large strap-on dong & I had just the thing for her. We had a quick catch-up & I saw her out just before my first victim, er, film slave arrived.

It was great to see him. We’ve filmed dozens of scenes together. He’s very chill & best of all, he has a hair trigger for a cum shot. By that I mean that he cums very easily. He was the guy in the vid that I made ejaculate with just one finger. That makes my ‘job’ a lot easier. I can control the pace of the scene better that way, rather than getting to the part where I want the cum shot & having to jerk hard for a few minutes to get there, dragging out the dialogue past where I had wanted it. This whole hand job thing is an art. I know I make it look easy but it isn’t always easy.

He’s also great to work with because he has such a wide range of perversions. Pretty much anything I want to do he’s down for. The scene we did yesterday was an evil step-mother thing. I like playing the bad guy. It gives me an outlet for my dark side…& we all have a dark side.

We had a nice chat and a cup of tea after before he went back to work, in a better frame of mind for an important meeting. I know that sounds cliche, but it’s the truth.

Up next was a young fella I’ve filmed with a few times. I hadn’t seen him in quite awhile & he had worked hard to lose weight for me. He only had a little belly before and I’m not sure if I mentioned it to him but bellies can make filming more difficult as it can hide the action & make a dick look shorter. I was impressed that he went to the effort without being instructed…but I was most glad that he was just healthier. He had lost the little belly by cutting pop and junk food out of his diet. That will serve him well in the long run. I’m a real health nut.

We did a brother/sister scene which he thought was amusing because last time we did a mother/son scene. I promised him next time we’d do something with leather as I know he has a thing for that. He was a trooper though & performed like a champ.

The last victim of the day was a guy I have a lot of history with, 5 years at least. A slave I sort of dated for awhile a couple years ago. It wasn’t much of a relationship but it was fun while it lasted. He’s a good boy, crazy about ball busting, cuckolding & femdom. A true submissive with gentlemanly style. He loves to serve & he’s cute. A nice combo. I like filming with him & he’s made the rounds filming with most of the other Dommes around town. Little slut:-)

We did 2 ball busting scenes, both quite different. I don’t normally do hand job scenes with him (he doesn’t ejaculate as easily as I like) but he was so riled up & horny, he promised he would cum easily. And he did. The scene was super hot. A cuckolding scene incorporating real life events for us from the past. As I said, we have a long history so there’s a lot to draw from.

He hung around after filming, catching me up on his recent escapades. As a cute, fun guy he gets a lot of action in the local fetish scene. He did admit that sometimes girls say they’re intimidated by the fact that he dated “Mistress T”. An obstacle he no doubt manages to overcome. I told him he should do a blog about his adventures. He’s a ball busting film slave & party boy. He has an interesting life.

I was almost done for the day when another one of my ex’s came by for a visit. We were together almost a decade ago & have been great friends since. After he left I got ready for bed. I was tired but felt rejuvenated. All the filming went really well, I enjoyed it. I also felt blessed to have spent time with 3 of my ex’s (Samantha & I had a thing years ago as well). I’m grateful to have maintained friendships with people I’ve been in intimate relationships with.

This was a long blog with no pictures. I didn’t think to take any yesterday. I know not everyone likes to read long entries but for those who want to get to know me more intimately this blog probably hit the spot.

xo

Mistress T

Members site: http://www.MistressT.net
PPV: http://www.clips4sale.com/23869
Blog: http://www.MistressT.net/blog/
Twitter: https://twitter.com/MistressTdotnet

Booking filming spring/summer 2016

Mistress T glove and fur

Cum here.

I’m starting to resurface after taking some time off to write and to deal with the loss of a family member. Thank you to those who offered your condolences and thank you to those who respectfully gave me space.

I’m excited about starting filming again! I’ll now accept applications for those wanting to film with me in April and beyond.

At this time it is unlikely I will accept private sessions or distance slaves as I’m still writing my book. I’m returning to work part time. I might make an exception in the right circumstances (a VERY generous offer from a well-mannered, interesting, easy-to-deal with client).

#1 requirement to apply to film with me: you MUST be in Vancouver as I am not traveling anywhere for the foreseeable future.

Again: filming in Vancouver ONLY.

To be extra clear: if you are not in Vancouver do not email me about filming.

Got it? Good.

#2. You must send a $100 deposit for me to review your application. What? Yes, you have to pay me to even consider you. Why? Because I have more duds than I do viable applicants and I have enough regular film slaves that I don’t really need new ones. So you have to prove you are worth my time.

3 options for tributing:
1. Online E-Transfer to this email address (from any major Canadian bank): MsT@MistressT.net
2. Tribute button on my clips store: http://www.clips4sale.com/23869
3. Gift card for my favorite spa. You can buy online with paypal or go in & pay cash in person. Ask them to email the gift card to MsT@MistressT.net. They are used to it as a lot of fans send me gift cards from there.: http://www.mirajhammam.com/gift-certificates/

#3. You must email at least 1 clear nude torso pic with erect penis. I prefer average to fit guys with less body hair and bigger dicks. If you don’t look like that you may not want to apply but you are welcome to. If you send $100 I will seriously try to find some way to film with you. The only time it’s okay to send me a ‘dick pic’ is when you’ve paid me $100 to look at it…but please try to get more than your dick in the pic. Standing in front of a mirror works. I don’t need your face in the pic or in the vid. The headless are welcome to apply:-) Email pics AFTER you’ve sent the deposit: MsT@MistressT.net

#4. Tell me what you’re into. List what activities you’re into or how you think you could be used in MY vids. I use stunt cocks, if you just want to lay there & get jerked off, say that. If you can take a big strap-on in your ass, let me know. If you’ll suck cock or would let a guy suck you, tell me. If you’re a fan of my vids you know what kind of scenes I film & where you might fit into the mix.

NOTE: I am NOT filming any toilet stuff. I will not allow oral worship, do nude facesitting or have intercourse with strangers. If you film with me for awhile & I want to do those things with you we’ll discuss it if we reach that comfort level that but do not expect any of that in the beginning.

I think that covers it. $100 gets my attention. Applications without it will be ignored:-)

xo

Mistress T

Members site: http://www.MistressT.net
PPV: http://www.clips4sale.com/23869
Blog: http://www.MistressT.net/blog/
Twitter: https://twitter.com/MistressTdotnet