Hailey Heartless’s Speech on Sex Work & Stigma

I’m going to ask you to do some reading today. I know attention spans are short & if you don’t have time to read the whole thing now please come back to it & finish it.

No matter what you think of The Women’s March, Donald Trump, #MeToo, #TimesUp, Feminism or sex work, if you read this powerful speech with an open mind I’m confident you’ll come away with something to think about. And if it makes you think differently about something I encourage you to have the courage to pass it along to others. To talk about it.

Hailey Heartless is a Vancouver based whip smart activist, sex worker & so much more. You can find more of her via twitter: https://twitter.com/SadistHailey

& her website: https://www.haileyheartless.com

These are her speaking notes from March On Vancouver yesterday: https://medium.com/@SadistHailey/march-on-vancouver-2018-f7e57e6c1785

View story at Medium.com

 

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5 thoughts on “Hailey Heartless’s Speech on Sex Work & Stigma

  1. Her text was interesting but a little winded. I know nothing of Canadian laws.
    Are the laws in BC different than the laws in Alberta? Our states all have their
    own laws. I can fuck a 17yr old in NY, a 14yr old in other states, but I’d have
    my ass in jail in NJ!
    I’ve been with a Dominatrix. I’ve been Transsexuals & see no harm in it. A gun was never put to my head. I’m Bi, its my choice. I enjoy being spanked & sucking another man’s cock, she male or male.
    As far as Trump goes, he’s a nut! The person I know that voted for him is
    my 3rd daughter. Bet you know is being written out of my will!
    One question for you, did you ever hear of Rev. Ike?

  2. I’m Swedish, but I live in Iceland. So “The Nordic Model” is very much part of the outlook on sex work I’ve grown up with. Not to say that I necessarily agree with it, but it’s the one that’s socially preferred where I live.
    Iceland is the only country in the world that’s completely banned ALL sex work.
    The feminists in government have successfully banned all forms of it, including
    escorts, massage parlors, strip clubs and sex surrogates, etc. It’s even illegal to
    sell and buy pornographic magazines. And if you lived here, T, you’d most likely be
    arrested for the work you do.

    At the same time, Iceland frequently comes out on top in most of the sex surveys conducted by companies such as Durex. Earliest sexual debut, highest number of sexual partners per individual, most use of sex toys. All these categories have been “won” by Iceland at various times. And yet, the general moral attitude when it comes to treating sex as a business has rapidly become extremely prudish, and
    I find it sickeningly hypocritical.

    I’m a humanist; not a feminist. And I feel that sex work shouldn’t automatically be considered a profession that’s always demeaning to women and women only.
    As Hailey Heartless pointed out, there’s a difference between sex work and trafficking. If people choose to do it and treat it as a business rather than being
    forced to do it in the street to feed a drug habit, then I don’t have a problem with it.
    I would never personally use my body in my work, but that has nothing to do with
    judging others. I just wouldn’t be comfortable with it.

    There’s this double standard about sex workers that I don’t understand.
    It seems as if it’s fine to employ their services as long as they’re basically
    treated like human cattle without emotions of their own. Men (and women) will
    gladly visit a brothel or a “gigolo” to have their needs met from time to time, but
    when discussing the matter in public, they will either condemn sex workers or
    even justify their own actions by promoting the idea that it’s not the customer who’s at fault, but the service provider.

    Personally, I find that sex workers can provide an invaluable service to a lot of people. They can spice up people’s sex lives by doing videos (like you), and they
    can help sexually frustrated people to feel better about themselves. Of course,
    there are any other number of positive things they do as well, but in general, I’d
    largely compare sex work with therapy. When done for the right reasons, it can be of great benefit to everyone involved.

    Having said that, I must also confess that I’m slightly conflicted sometimes.
    I’m an adult virgin (40 and counting), and I don’t think anyone expects me to
    be able to engage in sexual activities without help anymore. And yet, I would
    never visit a sex worker to rid myself of my problem. Maybe it’s “The Nordic Model” I’ve grown up with that puts a stop to idea, or perhaps it’s just the feeling of not being good enough to attract a partner without paying them that prevents me from visiting an escort. But even so, there are quite a few other people in the world in my situation for whom doing this is not a problem. And I’m just grateful that there’s a way that they can express themselves sexually in some way at least. It beats turning to violence out of frustration, that’s for sure.

    Anyway, I’d be a very unhappy man if people like you didn’t make your videos.
    For it’s one thing to be sexually repressed, but if I wasn’t even able to use sexual aids to stimulate my fantasies, well, that would be like making love to a cardboard box. Possible, but not very exciting or fulfilling.

    So I’m grateful you’re around. 😉

  3. Some would call me a very conservative guy, from a voting perspective..For the 2016 election, I torn on who to vote. In the end, I voted for who I thought would be the better Vice-President, who might end up President here the 2020 Presidential Camoaign. As suggested , I kept an open mind as I read the post from Miss Heartless. Now I have new perspective on the sex worker, their plight, and the march.

  4. A lot of the body politic People are threatened by all Sex Workers, TG more so. This quote by Hailey jumped out at me.

    “Placing us in a position where we’re either on a pedestal or we’re victims keeps our wisdom and our stories confined within our community.”

    I think this mirrors what can happen to racial and ethnic minorities. Unfortunately the remnants of Puritanical prejudice against anything sexual add to the ill will and troubles cast towards sex workers.
    I thought we would be farther along in regards to this situation, but I am sad to see we are still so behind in our collective attitude.

    • I don’t understand the prejudice against sex workers at all.
      I mean, most people engage in sexual activities, and those who don’t
      WANT to engage in them. So to be against people who, in one way or another, choose to work in a sex-related profession, reeks of hypocrisy.

      Personally, I’m not able to get sex, because I’m not attractive enough.
      Nor would I ever pay for the services of a professional. But not because I’m against
      what they have to offer. I’m simply more of the romantic type who’d prefer to be in
      a committed relationship before becoming intimate with anyone.

      But I would be a liar to say that watching adult videos or whatever, hasn’t helped me a great deal to, well, deal with living a life of eternal virginity.
      If all pornographic content was illegal, I’d somehow have to make myself aroused by, I don’t know…staring at the wall? And it just wouldn’t be the same.
      So while watching others have sex will never sufficiently replace the experience of having it yourself, I’m at least grateful for the glimpse into normality that such entertainment offers me.

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