The desperate imbalance on Ashley Madison

That wedding ring carries SO much meaning...

That wedding ring carries SO much meaning…

Another blog post inspired by an article I just read…this one about the incredibly few real women that were on the “Ashley Madison” dating site:

For those who missed the whole “Ashley Madison” scandal recently, it was a dating site specifically for married people who were trying to cheat on their partners..& it was hacked, exposing a whole lot of guys. Uh-oh.

Side note: If you want to keep your online activity secret be sure to use a unique email address for that purpose only, and cover your tracks.

This article went into technical detail about their investigation into how many of the female profiles were completely fake. Fake, as in created by staff at Ashley Madison. Millions of desperate, horny men were active on this site, seeking a play partner outside of their marriage…viewing profiles, sending messages & checking their inboxes for responses that never, ever came. The site charged these men, even charged them to have their accounts deleted! (Then didn’t even delete their information).

These guys were spending money & time trying to meet a woman or women who wanted to have sex with a married man. To fulfill his sexual fantasies with…when it would have just been simpler to pay a professional who would deliver. There’s integrity in just paying to have your fantasy fulfilled. A clear transaction folks.

Did all these guys really believe that thousands of women were on a DATING site hoping to have a fling with a married guy? Wow. Just, wow.

But the site marketed themselves like that. It sold millions of horny men that fantasy.

I’m also in the business of selling fantasies. But surely most guys understand that? What are the odds that I could be everything & every role I play in the wide variety of vids that I create? In the last few years I have been a therapist, a high-powered boss, a spy, a nun, a teacher, a MILF, a GILF, a prison guard…a Dominatrix who trains sissy sluts, who fucks asses, who encourages guys to suck cock, who loves boot worship, foot worship, ball busting, hurting & humiliating guys 100 different ways, a cuckoldress who sometimes keeps you in chastity, more often tells you to jerk off while watching me with other men…a cuckoldress who claims to love black cock one day & the next tells black men they’ll never be worthy to fuck me…there have been a few more contradictions over the years & dare I say I could even be called a hypocrite…IF you took everything I said & did as the gospel truth.

I’ve digressed a little from the theme of this post…which is really a harsh illustration of the massive imbalance in this world of men’s & women’s desires. There are a lot more (like waaaaay more) married men hoping to have an affair then there are women hoping to have an affair with a married man. There are way more men hoping to live out submissive fantasies with Dominant women then there are women who are eager to peg a guy, piss on a guy, spank him, dress him up in lingerie, tie him up & edge his cock for hours, etc.

This is why men pay women for these services & why women pretty rarely pay for sexual services from men. There is a massive imbalance.

You could get all butt hurt about this or you could look at it this way: it’s really nice when someone cooks for us. It happens sometimes. Friends or family will invite us over for dinner & serve us a nice meal. And we appreciate it when it happens. But most of the time we need to cook for ourselves or pay for someone to prepare it for us (restaurants). We don’t bitch every day about the lack of people interested in cooking for us for free. Right? Well, it’s basically the same for sex in a lot of cases.

In life, your attitude often determines your level of happiness. If you’re bummed all the time about not finding the perfect women to fulfill your fantasies (for free/in real life) then it’s your attitude that needs to be adjusted. Use vids, your imagination, cam shows or in person sessions while keeping an eye out for your unicorn in real life. Accept that the odds are not in your favor & find pleasure in other parts of your life. Desperation & depression will only lead to stupid decisions, like the many men on the Ashley Madison site.

Good luck!

Mistress T

Members site:

10 thoughts on “The desperate imbalance on Ashley Madison

  1. Dating sites have been using fake female profiles for years to lure men into paying the monthly fee to use the service. Ashley Madison is no different. Of course when you browse for free and pay to message they want to give you a real piece of eye candy to do encourage you to join – and stay.

    • I’m not super familiar with the facts on fake profiles on dating sites. I figured there was some fakery but this article investigated fairly thoroughly & the sheer volume of fake profiles on Ashley Madison is shocking, at least to me. It’s like the odds of a guy actually communicating with a real, potential partner was basically impossible…then when you consider the number of guys competing (& paying) to communicate with the few real women on there…wow, just wow.

      • I use to use “seeking arrangment” to meet women for weekend getaway type vacations , long weekends and variety. I found that site to be really reliable about the girls that were there. I met 3 different women with no issues.

        Only problem with that is. It gets a little sticky ( and awkward ) trying to mix the social factor into paying her to be there.

  2. Women bear the brunt of sexual violence and are at greater risk for STI’s (including the original STI, pregnancy.) It’s hardly a shock that they’re less interested in sexual adventurism with strangers. Men would do well to try to make the world a safer place for women, rather than complain that they can’t “get any.”

    I have nothing but gratitude for sex workers of every stripe; be they models, full service workers, kink workers, etc. These activities take time and work and preparation, and the only way the workers can afford to fulfill the fantasies of so many men (and women) is by being paid for their time.

    Your example of a cook is very apt. We don’t complain that they don’t cook for free, nor do we think any less of their food because they charge for their time. In fact, they’re rightly celebrated. They, after all, have devoted the time, skill, and equipment to becoming excellent at their craft.

    As have you.



  3. The last paragraph of your post is a great bit of advice, very well stated. Seems like a lot of men delude themselves or otherwise blur the lines of fantasy and reality, and it can have negative real life consequences. You mentioned depression, which could be cause, effect or both. It’s something men should really check themselves on.

  4. “This is why men pay women for these services & why women pretty rarely pay for sexual services from men.” Well, that and also, if a woman wants to have sex, she will find someone willing to do it, maybe she’ll have to lower her standards, but someone will say yes.

  5. Very good post, Mistress. The cooking analogy is excelent and really hits the nail on the head. Some friends who know about my kinky side have occasionally suggested that I should check some dating websites, so that I could get “something real and not have to depend on fantasies”. My reply was always the same: “What makes you think that the dating website’s content is more real than the fantasies I enact during a session?”

    Moreover, a professional who performs in person is always going to be fully honest, whereas the cyberworld has too much room for lies and deceit. As for me, I was never into a full 24/7 fantasy, so the “limited duration” of a session format is ideal for me: I don’t cheat myself confusing fantasy and reality. 😉

  6. The Ashley Madison data is quite astonishing. But, sadly, after reading it I find the conclusion of the Gizmodo report unsurprising. Proving that even the most intelligent of men are only as smart as their Dicks when it comes to sex, and we all know how smart Dicks are. Lol …

    Touching on the ‘safety’ aspect, brought up by the previous poster. One of the reasons for the rapidly expanding cam-girl industry, is that women can make money from their sexuality. Without actually having to meet up with their male clients. And, whilst of course there are undoubtedly many good guys out there, the level of verbal/written abuse and misogyny these girls receive on a daily basis is truly saddening to see.

    Perhaps there’s something wrong with me. But, when I see a pretty girl with a great figure in the street, it makes me happy. I feel good, and go about the rest of my day with a smile on my face. Sure, I may fantasize about having sex with her, but I certainly don’t think about physically hurting her or abusing her in anyway. Yet, from experience, I know there are many many men out there with some seriously worrying attitudes toward women. I even have a number of female friends who now have to have protected twitter accounts etc because of sustained abuse from various males. Or, won’t get on crowded trains for fear of wandering hands etc, and the list goes on …

    I often find it amusing, when the guys I know who spend every evening working on their abs down at the gym. Can’t understand why many girls don’t want to hang round with a pack of lewd, jeering, muscle bound, meat heads. And, get all aggressive and angry if a woman chooses a funny, personable, polite ‘Mr Average’ over them … Sure, all the girls I know enjoy the sight of a well toned male body, but most like to have more than some knuckle dragging neanderthal mentality occupying it. Lol …

    As a male, I can’t think of anything more important and wonderful in this world of ours, than the women in it. Personally, it’s also been interesting to discover that I’ve a submissive character, but only really toward women. No way is any guy going to tell me what to do ( as my numerous male ex-bosses have discovered ), yet Mistress T could easily have me cleaning her house (and anything else she wanted) with nothing more than a glance from those amazing blue eyes of hers.

    I recently saw my 20 year old nephew out on the town with some of his friends. A couple of the girls they were happily shouting comments at happened to be friends of mine. So I decided to go over and introduced them. Actually face to face with two imposingly tall, attractive women the lads became utterly tongue tied, and after a few moments awkward silence, we left them to it and moved away to the bar. However, when I saw him and his friends later that night, you’d have sworn he was going to be going home later with, at least, one of my friends by the way he was talking. Lol …

    It makes me sad to see all these young guys, actually aspiring to be ‘Players’ (whether in reality or pure fantasy). Thinking that the only way into a girls panties is through lies and deceit, rather than being genuine and honest. The amount of guys I hear happily telling girls about the flash cars they own, the glamorous places they’ve been and the stars they mix with. Whilst studiously avoiding mentioning the fact they still live at home with mom, because they don’t actually earn enough to move out, is just amazing. Who do they think they’re kidding !!

    The thing is, even the younger girls I know regard the majority of what any male says to them, as utter bullshit. But luckily, seem pretty immune to all the endless crap that comes their way.

    And, I think this is partly why we see such a disparity in the Ashley Madison figures. On the whole, women tend to be more grounded, thoughtful and pragmatic than men. Many of whom appear to live in their own fragile little bullshit filled fantasy worlds. I’ve never had a woman pretend they’re a doctor, lawyer, fire-woman, vet or superstar DJ, to try and get me into bed. Yet, this seems like everyday behavior for many guys I know on a night out. Harmless in a juvenile way, to begin with.
    However, I’ve seen many a guy pile that bullshit up so high, he ends up literally drowning in a world of his own creation he can never live up to.

    Wow, sorry, gone on a bit of a rant there …

    To change the subject. I agree that you have to be careful about letting your real and fantasy lives overlap too far. Now, whilst I don’t think I have any depressive issues as such. I do have some mildly self destructive tendencies.
    Not a problem to begin with. But after a while it becomes difficult to resist the urge to start ‘chasing the dragon’, in search of that extra kick.

    Now, I’ve always had a thing for XXXL sized black cock. No big deal, it’s a fairly common fetish for many white guys, and easily satisfied in the privacy of your own home by the vast amount of Interracial porn on the internet.
    However, an issue for me has been the temptation to become less and less discrete about my black cock interests online. The thrill of being caught out becoming a real personal fetish in it’s own right.

    To the point, where a model who’s done customs for me in the past has just agreed in principal, to do a video where she not only calls me out on my big black cock fetish, but is also willing to put it in her clips store for anyone to buy.

    And the thing is, no matter how dumb it would be to go ahead and do it. There’s no way I’m going to be able to stop myself from handing over the money and getting it made now the option is there.

    So, I guess I’m even more stupid than the guys who signed up to Ashley Madison. At least they didn’t expect to get caught. I’m doing something I know will probably be hanging over me for the rest of my life.

    Why is it that doing the wrong thing, is always so much hotter than doing the right thing ? Lol … One for the psychologists I guess, because I certainly can’t figure it out. Interesting times ahead no doubt .. Simon x

Comments are closed.