I considered making the title of this post: “Fuck You” but decided to take a slightly less negative approach.
This is a sort of a follow up to my last post “Man Hater?” where I addressed the question (accusation): Do I hold men in contempt?
I’ve recently done the dating dance with a couple of fella’s…somewhat simultaneously (I’m a non-monogamist in case you didn’t know) and both have arrived at a similar place. Although the details are different the overall message is that my strength is an issue. One assumed I must be a man hater since I didn’t fall in love with him and the other couldn’t deal with the fact that I didn’t NEED him.
To protect the innocent I’ll leave out any more details and just focus on me (this blog is about ME, isn’t it?).
Valentine’s seemed like an appropriate day for all of this to come to a head. The dragon in me breathed fire as I considered the weakness of some men. Why some men need to feel needed. Why can’t they be happy with just being wanted?
I don’t need a man in my life. It doesn’t take a very sharp person to pick that up pretty quickly, I’m a bit of a man-eater. I can separate sex from love easily. I have quite a few ex’s as friends but I have just as many who are in the rear view mirror.
It’s no accident that I am the way I am. From a very young age my Mother groomed me to be a strong independent woman. I was raised in rural Nova Scotia where you were expected to get married and have kids. You could maybe be a teacher or nurse, but you better be able to cook a turkey dinner for 10 people, decorate a birthday cake like a car, get beet stains out of a table cloth and keep your husband happy. For some reason my Mother decided that I would have what ever life I wanted and all the better if it didn’t involve being a slave to a husband and kids. So she told me over and over: you need to be strong in life, take care of yourself, don’t depend on a man, do what makes you happy, etc.
Bless her soul. She created a god damn monster, didn’t she?
Maybe she laid it on a little too thick? I’ve become so strong & independent that most men just don’t know how to deal with me. Well, to those weak men who it seems I now do hold in contempt: fuck you.
Ah, that feels better…
Members site: http://www.MistressT.net
Mistress T – having read Your blog for a while – I think You are AWESOME! Go Girl GO! x
Thank you very much. Happily, GO seems to be my only option as I feel propelled forward in such a way that even slowing down seems impossible:-)
Man-hater? Probably not. Show those who deserve no respect exactly that? Much more accurate. Strong people deserve strong people in life, weak people deserve what they get, be it strong, weak, or indifferent. You choose to not accept that which you don’t want or deserve. That makes you a strong woman and that’s not a bad thing to those who recognize you and accept you for what you are. Those who can’t are intimidated and will think you’re a man-hater and probably much worse. Be true to yourself and you will get what you deserve and desire.
I don’t know who you are RT but I think I love you:-) Very well said. Thank you.
Oh, to be so lucky! Seriously, once you know and understand yourself, acceptance from and or of others isn’t the highest item on your “I Need” list. While I don’t really know you, I think that you reached that level of understanding very quickly. You should never lead your life to please others, only yourself. If others are pleased when you take that approach to life then they are probably worth investing a little time with to get to know them. Just my opinion.
My personal experience is that gender, sexuality and power are a extremely complex melange. I was born a man and enjoy being one, on my own terms, but have recently allowed my female identity to emerge after years of repression. I found your web site because I thought I was submissive but found out that I’m just attracted to dominant (strong) women, not the kinky (pain, humiliation) stuff. Based on what you post, I am totally confident you wouldn’t hate me and I’m a man, in theory, so it sounds like this isn’t your problem. It definitely isn’t mine. The problem is people who try to lock us both into boxes based on our bodies and sexual preferences, which are hard wired, aka, born this way. I think what you hate is stupidity. Love, Christina.
“I think what you hate is stupidity.” Brilliant. xo