Are you fucking kidding me?

Are you fucking kidding me?

This is a rant. I don’t usually go on rants, well, at least not online. Some of you won’t agree with me here. Some of you will think less of me after reading this & I don’t give a damn.

I received a message on Fetlife from a guy saying that he couldn’t believe I was still looking, that he was pretty intimidated by me but thought he’d take a shot at contacting me anyway. I liked how he wrote & although I don’t usually message guys back (I’m a bit of an asshole that way) him saying that he was intimidated by me hit a nerve. I know it takes a lot of balls to approach a woman so I thought I’d give him a chance.

His picture left everything to the imagination. I could basically just make out that he was human. His profile said he was camera shy so I didn’t press for more pictures. I simply offered to meet up sooner rather than later to see if there was chemistry.

A few hours before we were set to meet he messaged me to say he was searching online for my vids to watch. I asked him to not contribute to piracy/file sharing by downloading my stolen, pirated content. So, we didn’t get off on the right foot. I wondered how clueless someone could be?

Within 20 seconds of meeting him I understood the gravity of my mistake. The combination of the lack of pics & his opening line about being intimidated by me should have been a screaming red flag.

The hope that we would at least have a pleasant conversation quickly evaporated as he rambled without pause for 10 minutes straight about a topic I only expressed a vague interest in.

He also talked a lot about himself & I soon learned he was in his early 40’s, unemployed with limited prospects, no plans, & seemed to think the right thing to wear when trying to impress a woman was an old hoodie & unflattering jeans.

I had plenty of time to try to think of an exit plan as he rambled on and on without noticing I was hardly paying attention anymore. When I finally had an opportunity to speak I mentioned that perhaps he should start a blog about the topic he had been rambling about and he actually said: “I should blog. As you can tell, there’s no shortage of things I have to say.”

As I abruptly thanked him for coming to meet with me he started going on about how lovely I am and how much he would like to see me again. All the while I was slowly shaking my head no. But that wasn’t enough for him. He wasn’t picking up the clues. I actually had to say that I wasn’t feeling it. Not interested. Ouch. But anyone else would have clearly picked up the obvious clues (especially me abruptly ending the meeting).

He later messaged me trying to find some way, any opportunity to spend more time with me. Really?!

He seems like a nice enough guy. Maybe the kind of guy who would do anything for ya. I’m note sure. Hell, he could be a complete bastard too. It doesn’t matter.  Here’s my rant:

From now on, if a guy says that he’s intimidated by me I’m going to take that as a clear sign that on some level he knows he’s not good enough for me. GOOD: BE INTIMIDATED. Some people are out of your league or just in a different league. I know that a politician or a guy from a high profile rich family who cares about public image is not going to marry a Dominatrix/porn star. I know that if a guy really wants a bunch of kids & a house wife baking cookies for the Church fundraiser that I’m not right for him.

If you’re an unemployed, unattractive guy with shitty social skills & can’t be bothered to be presentable for a first impression DON’T approach an ambitious, well-traveled, independent, beautiful, groomed, successful business woman who has a reputation for chewing men up & spitting them out. What the fuck are you thinking? It’s like hunting big game with a pellet gun.

It’s ironic that the guy I met with today started his correspondence saying that he couldn’t believe I’m still looking. Did he think that I must be desperate enough by now to settle for anything?

I recently received an email from someone who reads my blog saying that I’ll always be single because I’m a dirty whore. I’m not sure if it was hate mail or fan mail but no one can deny that I’m a pretty damn successful whore and a guy who wants to be with me better have his shit together too.

I’m not perfect & I’m not looking for perfection. I’m looking for realistic compatibility. Just because I have a fucked up occupation doesn’t mean that I’m going to settle for anyone with a pulse.
Mistress T

Members site: http://www.MistressT.net
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PS: For those who follow my blog closely & are confused because you thought I was seeing someone…well, it’s complicated. He’s still in my life but I’m still seeking… he is a bit of a cuckold & we’ve never been exclusive, sooo….maybe I’ll write a blog entry about non-monogamy & poly relationships at some point.


To Be Accepted

I like fucked up shit, okay? Oh, you're into fucked up shit too? Awesome!

I like fucked up shit, okay? Oh, you’re into fucked up shit too? Awesome!

I’ve written about not being accepted. This post is about the flip side, the joy in being accepted.

I’ve recently been reading a biography of a gay porn star & his trials in finding a partner who was accepting of his career. Although I’ve met quite a few gals in the business who have amazing partners, there’s some of us who have had more challenges in our relationships. The biz is often the obstacle, the non-starter for many men.

I have someone in my life now who not only accepts me as I am but celebrates it & shares it. That’s a first for me.

He had been familiar with my Mistress T vids & then we met through a friend several years ago. I treated him as a slave boy, which he liked. Eventually we became friends and gradually (the last several months) more.

He completely understands the realities of my job. He’s been watching FemDom porn for as long as he can remember.

In the past my being out of town so much killed a couple of relationships. He doesn’t give me a hard time about all the traveling. No guilt. No neediness.

He’s into cuckolding, so actually loves that I’m with other men, on & off screen. No jealousy or possessiveness.

I can tell him my darkest, most twisted fantasies & often his are similar. If they’re not, he doesn’t judge. At all.

Like many of you reading this, I have spent most of my life feeling ashamed of the things that turn me on. I’ve had a mix of reactions when I’ve dared share those fantasies with others. Now, I have a job that causes me no end of grief when it comes to being judged by others. Last year, an experiment in online dating & telling potential suitors about my job was stressful. Often men would say they were okay with it but their follow up questions or comments revealed prejudices.

Many of you are in relationships with partners who don’t even know what you’re jerking off to in your private time. Maybe you felt you could never tell anyone or those fetishes developed AFTER you were already married. I feel your pain. It is extremely difficult to find a partner who shares niche fetishes & extremely difficult to be with someone who doesn’t.

I feel very grateful today to be with someone who thinks that I’m awesome in all my kinkiness, who has zero issue with my job, totally gets it & who personally I can be my true self with. If that’s inspiration to anyone still seeking their unicorn, great.

Mistress T

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Mistress T nude.

Why this image for this blog post? No reason…I’m nude, exposed…it’s pretty. Whatever.

Judgement has been the topic of several of my blog posts & as much as I wish it would go away so I wouldn’t need to talk about it anymore, alas, that’s not reality.

I also like to talk about it because I know so many of my readers struggle with this too. Many have never told anyone about their fetishes or have had negative reactions after someone has found out.

Imagine making your fetishes your job & having your face all over the internet broadcasting how kinky you are. That’s the difficult path I’ve chosen. I love my work but there are trade-offs for living my life so out in the open.

The last few months I’ve been dabbling in online dating. I would love to have a significant other in my life. Lovers come & go. Some turn into wonderful friends. I’ve been blessed. Yet I still feel like my life would be enhanced by a very significant other. Of course my job & lifestyle are an obstacle but I know a lot of women in my industry who have found wonderful partners.

Most of my 1st dates have been fine. There just hasn’t been chemistry. Most guys I tell about my alter-ego say they don’t have a problem with it but I’m very aware that a lot of guys are just lonely & will say anything for some company. I tell them all right away what I do so that if it’s an issue we can just get that out of the way.

In the last week I went on a couple dates with two different guys who really seemed to have potential. Yet, the sting of judgement got me in two different & unique ways.

1. After a couple dates with the 1st potential Mr. Right he accidentally let it slip how disgusted he was with a particular sexual activity that just happened to be near the top of my list of favorite activities. (Don’t bother asking me what that is specifically. My sexuality is complex & part of it requires me to not tell the entire world EVERYTHING.) If he had just not been into it I could have let it go, but it was the judgement, the disgust of it that got me. As I tried to make my exit he back-peddled trying to say that maybe he could try it but the damage was done. Most of us fetishists would rather indulge our fetishes with someone who is also into it, not doing it ‘just’ for us.

2. Contestant #2 feared his teen daughter would get teased at school if her class mates found out her dad was dating a porn star. As I made my exit he seemed concerned that he had hurt my feelings. I laughed at that. My answer would have been too complex. I thought of his daughter finding out years later that her dad passed up a potentially wonderful relationship with a women for such a silly reason. She probably worries about how lonely her dad is & would be happy just to see him happy. I have some personal experience as the teen in this case but that’s a longer story. I didn’t bother saying any of that because the damage was already done. Deep down I felt there was judgement & narrow-mindedness on his part that he wasn’t being honest with himself about.

These were just two guys that I went on a couple of dates with. There was no emotional attachment, only the potential for one. In the long run I probably won’t even remember them. It’s the judgment that leaves a mark.

So if you’re reading this & thinking about your own personal experience being judged for being different, for having a fetish or kink, for wanting something out of the norm, know that you’re not alone. The world is FULL of deviants, perverts, fetishists, sinners, lovers of the alternative. I have many wonderful friends who don’t just accept me but celebrate all that I am.

If you’re reading this & you’re guilty of having judged someone, for shaming someone, for making someone feel broken for being aroused by something other than what arouses you: Do not judge others for sinning differently than you. Or: Judge not lest ye be judged. All of us ‘could’ easily be judged by someone for something. Sexual diversity should be celebrated.

Vive la différence!

Mistress T

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How To Introduce Kink Into Your Relationship

MILF Mistress T in a business suit.

“You want to know what?!”

I often get emails from guys asking my advice on how to introduce their kinks to their partners. To which I respond: “I’m not fucking Ann Landers!”. Okay, I’ve actually never said that, but for a moment you thought I was a bit of a dick, didn’t ya?

You might be surprised how communicative & friendly I’ll be for a generous tribute…so if you’d like to benefit from my years of experience feel free to contact me for personal, customized assistance. MsT@MistressT.net (Tribute button is on my clips store: http://www.clips4sale.com/23869)

For free, I’ll share a few general tips for you right now. See, I’m not a dick. *smile*

If you’ve been jerking off to some kinky porn, feeling like a freak secretly & fretting that you’ll never be able to have your fantasies come true, you might be right. Especially if you’re into the Giantess fetish, Vore, castration fetish, or something especially tricky. If you’re just into feet, getting pegged (strap-on/bum play), getting peed on, giving up control, cuckolding (fantasy, at first at least)…those kinds of things might be doable within your relationship.

Of course every relationship & gal is unique. These are only guidelines.

#1. Be really fucking good to your lady. Whatever that means to her. Help out around the house, make her a meal, fix something, move something, give her a back rub, draw her a bath, take her to that place she likes to go, basically: suck up. Be a gentleman & make her feel cherished. A woman tends to be more receptive to accommodating what you’re into if she feels like she’s gotten everything she wants.

#2. Make sure she’s sexually pleased. Find out what she wants & give it to her. However she wants it. Let her know she can ask you for ANYTHING & you won’t judge, you’ll do your best to make her sexually satisfied. (Similar to #1 but you should do BOTH sexual & non-sexual things to make her happy.)

#3. Read Savage Love articles together & discuss what advice you would give before you read his responses. This opens up a dialogue & gets you both thinking about alternative sex stuff. You can probably even find articles dealing with your specific kink! That’s a great way to introduce your gal to it & measure her reaction without making yourself too vulnerable.

#4. Have a drink or two together. Don’t get shit-faced. Just 1 or 2 drinks to relax you both.

#5. Bring it up lightly. Low pressure. Something like: “I’ve got a confession…I’ve been getting turned on by _____ lately for some reason. It might be fun to explore. What do you think of that?” NOTE: Obviously start at the lowest level of whatever you’re into. If you want her to pee on you, start with asking if you can lick her clean after, that you just want to taste a drop. If you want her to fuck you with a strap-on, start with a condom-covered finger. If you want to worship her feet, even if you like them dirty/smelly, start with kissing her toes in the bathtub. If you want her to take control just suggest she tie you up with some neck ties or scarfs & have her way with you/use you like a sex toy. If you want her to sleep with other men (cuckolding) ask her to just pretend she’s been with another guy & role-play telling you during sex. If you want to cross dress, Halloween is a great time to start gently.

#6. Don’t pressure her. If it turns her off, leave it alone. Let her know the lines of communication are open if she wants to discuss why you have this interest or whatever. If she thinks about it for a bit & discusses it more it might marinate into something she gets excited about exploring too. But not if she feels pressured.

#7. Be grateful for ANY effort she makes. Even if it’s not playing out perfectly or taking longer to get to where you want to go be sure to let her know how much it means that she’s indulging you. Positive reinforcement. Keep being really good to her. Don’t be a douche & sulk or punish/guilt her if you’re not getting what you want.

Sex should be fun for both of you. Make sure you communicate that clearly. This is play, it’s fun, it’s recreation, exploring, checking things off your sex bucket list, etc. If you both have a healthy attitude about sex you’re probably fine.

Be prepared for a negative reaction. She might be grossed out or turned off. If that happens don’t freak out. Handle it with grace. It seems to be rare that even couples with healthy functioning relationships also have sexual interests that match up perfectly. If she’s not receptive, you’ll make do like so many others, watching porn, seeing Professionals, having affairs or breaking up & looking elsewhere. Such is life.

Good luck!
Mistress T

Members site: http://www.MistressT.net
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Let’s laugh at stupid boys…

Mistress T in fur.

Do I look like I suffer fools lightly?

I’ve been dabbling in online dating recently. If you’ve had any experience with this you know just how crazy it can be. I know they say more & more people are finding love on the internet these days but if anything the process makes me want to stay single.

I have received hundreds of messages in the last couple of weeks. I’ve met with nine guys (I think?). Most nice but boring. One might have been a sociopath. One I kind of knew already but online dating actually brought us together (by that I mean that I have now shagged him a couple of times. Even though I’m on there looking for a relationship & he’s not relationship material. He’s hot. So shoot me.)

I met someone interesting today & have a couple other potentials. We’ll see.

I get a lot crap on there though. My goodness. It’s like trying to find a needle in a haystack. My biggest complaint is just plain stupidity. Lots of poorly written profiles (bad spelling, bad grammar, bad punctuation, etc.) Lots of horrible photo’s…grainy or really far away…drunk pics, more pics of their dog than of them, etc.

I thought I would share a few of the more entertaining messages I’ve received:

“I just got in from Playa Del Carman on Fri. and had a great time, caught two Barricuda with a local charter there.”

This was his opening message to me (nothing in my profile indicates I have any interest in fishing).

“hey how are you? A quick question for you. How long do you think it will take you to make someone fall for you? and tell you a few secrets about his work? These secrets will then benefit me, and eventually save mine and my co-workers job. And would you be willing to do that for 5 grand? and could you do it in a month?”

I didn’t message him back as clearly he’s insane.

“im taurus as well. i just wanna come over…adn bend u over :-)”

If he were any other sign no way but since he’s a Taurus come on over hot pants (not).

“Great photos.You have nice furniture.I won’t waste my time.Im not your type.I don’t have a thick cock.I guess I wouldn’t need it anyway.Id be to busy eating your pussy and jerking on your face.”

*Retch* If I had bad furniture would I still be worthy of his pencil-dicked facial?

“wow you are a goddess of sensuality , i would love to dress you in a erotic kamastura saree”

From a very unattractive Indian fellow.

“Hi how are you ,I love your profile ,especially your height ,I adore the fact your only 5 ft 0 . IM really into giving my partner oral sex if I find them attractive and petite ,that is a huge magnet for me ,and you my dear I would be dining at the Y for weeks yum yum,I actually have never found taller woman attractive even though I am 6 ft 2. I read your profile ,for sure I think you are a match”

This one sounds like an idiot but certainly knows what he likes (& doesn’t).

“Hey………….I dont know why you keep appearing in my search!!!!
I will never go to Thiland…………….they sell their female kids!!!! for as little $100 US…………..
Shall we meet for coffee?
I dont know if we will ever connect!”

Good to know he’s not a pedo or into human trafficking right off the bat *rolling eyes*.


I’ve removed a bit of potentially identifying info from this one…by the way, he was fugly & the thought of his hands on me made me throw up in my mouth a little.

“I’m very curious about you I’m currently a welder but I’m just using that to fund my own business until it takes off and I’m sure it will I won’t talk business because if you tell everyone your business before long its no longer your business its there’s I will say this its about high end cars trucks ex. I know where I can by for cheep and then its just the matter of a buyer anyways no I’m not into sports I do enjoy travel but at the moment I have no time I’m currently building my empire I am a direct blood line to *** *** (*** ***r and *** ***) I work 80 + hours a week when I can get it I try to live a healthy life I’m determined and have high potential I’m told I have high morals and ethics I have no time to waste life is short and I want to do everything I can with my life I find you very attractive I read your profile and can relate I find you interesting what is your line of work exactly I know your self employed but what exactly is your business”

7 minutes after his first message (above):

“By the way u look amazing really quite flustering in a good way I’m not exactly loaded but I do pretty good for myself its on you”

Yeah, fuck punctuation! Who needs it? He’s building an empire. Periods & comma’s are for sukka’s!

Members site: http://www.MistressT.net
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A mash-up of my week…

Not every blog entry can be mind-blowing. This one may not be the one that I’m remembered for. I’m writing it because it occurred to me that if I don’t make a blog entry today I probably won’t for a couple weeks. So this will just be a random mash-up of stuff.

Tomorrow night I head to Nova Scotia for my annual family visit. I’m bringing my best friend for the 1st time. I have considered him family for years so it’s time for him to meet all my other wacky relations. I’m super excited.

A photo taken a few years ago in Nova Scotia

A photo taken a few years ago in Nova Scotia

Recently life has been pretty stress-free. I’ve had enough time to catch up on all my editing. I’ve filmed some amazing solo POV vids. I love my 1-on-1 time with the camera, self filming with full control & creative license.

Screenshot from POV vid I filmed this week.

Screenshot from another POV vid I filmed this week.

I’ve been perfecting a recipe for super-healthy no-bake peanut butter balls (or ‘cluster fucks’ when I use crunchy peanut butter & they won’t roll into balls). I’m no Martha Stewart so a no-bake treat is as close to baking as I get & actually a pretty big accomplishment for me.

Of course I’ve been doing lots of yoga (as usual) and a little swimming. I had three lovers in the same week & felt smug about having 3 different tooth brushes in 3 different baggies with different initials…but I’m not really a player. They’re all nice guys & 2 of them are my regular film slaves. It’s all just fun, not relationship territory.

Yup. That’s me. We just ‘did it’. Ya know. IT.

I also got to help out a little behind the camera with a different kind of filming. My never-boring pal Samantha Mack filmed a creative short film for film festivals. It’s kind of a clown porn without any nudity or actual porn. A lot of fun clown jokes/gags. Kinda artsy. Interesting. (Sorry to rain on your parade but I am not in the film, you do not get to see me dressed up as a clown…I know clown fetishists are throwing pies in their own face right now to try to cheer themselves up.)

I love Samantha Mack. Now the whole world knows.

Tonight I went on a Murder, Mayhem & Mysteries walking tour of Vancouver & learned about some of the grittier history of my city. It was fascinating hearing the stories of serial killers & the dark side of certain notable characters who lived here. I love being entertained while learning (I also love Ted Talks for this reason, among other things).

I went to a sexy party on the weekend. I didn’t have relations with anyone myself but I did enjoy watching some people have sex. Most notably a cross dressed man & his lovely female partner. It was hot.

This is what I wore to the sexy party…because I know fashion is your primary interest.

I’ve been screening applications for private & filmed sessions for the UK & Barcelona. So far so good. Things are booking up but there’s still some availability. It’s a month away so lots of time to get organized. Email applications still being accepted: MsT@MistressT.net but please read this 1st: http://mistresst.wordpress.com/2012/08/25/uk-europe-fall-2012/

I’ve had a hand full of things cleared off of my new Amazon Wish List. I’m excited about receiving them from the post office.

I’ve also been bar hopping a little with another single gal pal & although I’m discovering there’s lots of very cool cocktail lounges around town I am not discovering many (or any) guys I’d like to spend time with. Oh well, as you can see above my life is anything but boring. I have awesome friends & lovers, a healthy lifestyle, a job I love, lots of variety & pretty low stress. After listening to friends vent about their relationships recently I realized that I’d rather be single than in a crappy relationship. Sure, an awesome relationship would be the cats ass, but that can be hard to find (as I’m discovering) & in the meantime single & free is better than dealing with stressful relationship drama.

So it goes.

I’m sure I’ll have some good blog material after my visit to Nova Scotia. In the meantime, I’ll be checking my vid sales & Amazon wishlist so just because I’m on vacation doesn’t mean you are on vacation from worshiping me *smile*. I’ve lined up some epic jerk off material for you in the next couple of weeks. You won’t be able to keep your hands off you junk.

Here’s a little inspiration to not get behind in your worshiping. Ha, ‘behind’. I slay me.

WordPress doesn’t like links to ‘clips for sale’ for some reason but you can easily find the link to my studio 23869 thru my website or twitter:

Members site: http://www.MistressT.net
Twitter: http://twitter.com/#!/MistressTdotnet

Cheers, Mistress T

Dating can be fun! Or not.

So I’m dabbling in ‘dating’ these days. I’ve been single for just over a year & decided a month or so ago that I’d like a more significant relationship. More significant than the casual fuck buddies I’ve had & still have, bless them.

I went on a date this evening with a guy who didn’t know about my ‘Mistress T’ persona so I just had to take advantage of the opportunity to write about the experience…without having to censor anything to save his feelings. What freedom!

We met last week at a bar where I was out with girlfriends trolling for men. He invited me out for bowling which I thought was original.

I didn’t go into it with loads of optimism. He was cute but very short. Sexually, I have no issue with short men as I am barely 5 feet tall myself…but like myself, short people tend to have ‘small dog syndrome’. We can kind of have attitude problems. Like we’re always trying to prove we can’t be pushed around. We tend to over-compensate.

I was right in this case too, by the way.

He was competitive and didn’t react well when I kicked his ass in bowling. It was just luck really. Maybe I should have just let him win? Nah.

Me at the quirky bowling alley…it was decorated with an eclectic mix of things, including this bizarre dinosaur diorama.

One of my favorite things found at the bizarrely decorated bowling alley.

You know I’m grasping for pics to spice up my blog entry when I add a photo of my reflection in a security mirror. Yup, me at that bizarre bowling alley again. Thrilling, eh?

Then he wanted to show me this cool artsy place/wine bar with art by local artists and canvases in the back where people could create their own art. It was a cool place and the concept was great, but the art was atrocious. I know, beauty is in the eye of the beer holder, or something like that. You say potato, I say “that looks like a 5 year old puked on canvas”.

I can be a judgmental prick sometimes.

I told him about the portrait Drew Young recently did of me and showed him the image on my semi-smart phone (it’s only an android…I’ll get another iPhone on the next release, it’s a long story. Anyway, I digress.)

He seemed blown away by the portrait and told me that he loved me and tried to kiss me. I turned my cheek so he couldn’t kiss me on the mouth. Awkward. Right? Yikes. And he wasn’t even drunk.

A black guy he knew came up to us to say hi and I thought to myself, in this order:

“Holy shit, it’s a black guy in Vancouver. That’s rare.”

“I wonder how big his dick is?”

“I wonder if he has black friends, or if he knows where I can find more black guys.”

The black guy told me I was beautiful, right in front of my date! Ballsy. Due to circumstances that was as far as that went but it was fun while it lasted.

It was very freeing spending time with someone who didn’t know what I did for a living. He was okay not knowing, he liked the mystery and felt he would figure it out as he got to know me better, like a game. He got as far as guessing it had something to do with marketing or promotions and that I probably work for myself.

As cute as that sounds, that, along with a handful of other things made me conclude that he really just wanted to fuck me anyway. It didn’t matter what I did for a living because he didn’t consider me a potential partner. Maybe because he was Persian, maybe something else. I didn’t care because I wasn’t interested in fucking him or dating him again.

He tried several times to kiss me & get close. He got my cheek every time. I told him I found him sexually assertive. He said he was a romantic. I said he just wanted to fuck me. He didn’t deny it. I asked him if he had a big cock (I was just toying with him at this point), he replied that I must know he doesn’t, I knew what size bowling shoes he wore….but he had hands & a mouth. I smiled politely and thought if that’s all I cared about I’d be a lesbian.

After all that he still thought he would see me again. I had given him no reason to think that we would go on another date but I didn’t have the heart to say it point-blank to his face. So I predict I’ll either dodge a few texts or reply to future invites with a ‘no thank you, not feelin’ it.’

On my way home I stopped into The Penthouse strip club to visit my gal pal and resident DJ: Samantha Mack (my-oh-my she sounds great on a mic). I also got the hands-on action I really wanted: an amazing neck & shoulder massage from the skilled Penthouse massage girl: Trish.

It was an interesting night. Did I get any closer to finding a significant other? No, but you miss 100% of the shots you don’t take….ya gotta kiss allota frogs…etc.

Why is this picture here? No reason except that I know a lot of guys don’t read my blog, they just look for sexy pics. So, here’s a random sexy pic I took yesterday. Ta-da! Now go buy a vid to jerk off to so I can afford to pay for sex instead of wasting my time ‘dating’.

Mistress T

Members site: http://www.MistressT.net
Twitter: http://twitter.com/#!/MistressTdotnet

Follow-up to: Must Love Dommes

My previous post about looking for a significant other has set records in traffic for my blog & volume of feedback…in just one day. Based on that, I am adding another blog entry to respond to some questions and to clarify a few points.

#1. I am not desperate or lonely and I haven’t been trying (and failing) to find a partner. I posted that blog entry Friday night on a whim as it only just occurred to me that I’m feeling ready to be in a relationship again. I thought it would be an entertaining story if I did find a partner that way but I didn’t really expect to.

#2. Some think that my criteria is too strict?! Really? Because I want a healthy sex life with a decent partner who more-or-less has his shit together? Or is it that I want a guy who is okay with me sleeping with other people occasionally? Because that part is just about having a more honest relationship than most where one or both people cheat on each other.

#3. It’s really no great surprise that I’m still single. What I do for a living is very difficult for most men to deal with. I’m also a very strong woman who intimidates the shit out of a lot of men. I love what I do and I love who I am, so I’m not going to change either just to increase my chances of finding a partner. Being in a relationship does not define my life. I enjoy my freedom and independence. The right guy would be an bonus in my awesome life, he will not BE my life.

#4. I’m not just looking for sex (this time). For those who expressed surprise that I couldn’t get laid, you read this wrong. Come on. Who would really believe that I couldn’t find sex partners?! ANY woman can get laid whenever she wants. That’s just the way the world works. This is about finding a significant other, not a fuck buddy.

By the way, now that I’ve made this mental step of being open to a relationship I will leave the house more *smile*, be more social, maybe do a little online exploring, etc. We’ll see what happens…and I’ll probably blog about it as long as it doesn’t violate the privacy of anyone else.

There’s no shame in being single & looking. I certainly don’t feel any shame about it! I just ended a four year relationship a year ago. I took a year off, had some great sex, dated casually, almost ended up in a relationship with the wrong guy (because I hadn’t thought enough about what was really important to me)…and here I am. I’m open to something more special…and I’ll probably find it. Despite my shortcomings (no one is perfect), for a sexually adventurous, open-minded, self-assured guy, I’m quite the catch *smile*. As much as I might come across as a cunt in some of my writing, in real life I’m actually a very generous, caring and fun person. I’m a great communicator, I’m drama-free and I’m what most guys consider to be a pretty ‘cool’ girlfriend.

So if my initial blog entry made you feel sorry for me or worry about me: don’t. I’m not crying myself to sleep over here, far from it. A big part of me doesn’t even want my life to change as I’ve finally molded it into just what I wanted…but if an awesome guy comes along, I’ll make room for him.


Mistress T (or the women behind Mistress T, really.)
Members site: http://www.MistressT.net
PPV: http://www.clips4sale.com/23869
Blog: http://mistresst.wordpress.com/
Twitter: http://twitter.com/#!/MistressTdotnet

Gone fishin’

Must Love Dommes

I know what you’re thinking: “How is it possible THIS woman is single?!”

Loves long walks on the beach…

Now you’re probably thinking that I have an inflated sense of worth & I would probably be a hand full. I can see you are a quick judge of character. I like that.

As I find myself alone on a Friday night it registers that I am single and although happy, maybe I could be happy AND have some fresh romance in my life. Leaving the house would be a good step but it’s raining, so I’ll write a blog entry and see if I get any interesting nibbles.

If you’re reading this and asking yourself if you might be the right man for me, keep reading carefully to find out.

#1. You must be single and available.

#2. You really should live in Vancouver.

#3. You must have an above average cock that works well. (I’m not a patient lover when it comes to erectile dysfunction or premature ejaculation.)

#4. You must be in good physical health, this usually means you’re at least fairly fit. I don’t mind if you’re missing a limp or in a wheelchair as long as you’re fit otherwise and your cock works/you can fuck.

#5. No drug addicts, alcoholics, cigarette smokers or gambling addicts.

At this point I’m sure some of you are getting excited thinking that you’re perfect…but don’t email me yet. This is where it starts to get trickier:

#7. You must be financially secure. This doesn’t mean you have to be rich as long as you’re responsible with your money…but no deadbeats. I don’t mind paying my own way but I am not paying for you.

#8. Like a lot of women, I like smart guys who are funny. I like interesting conversation and I like to laugh.

#9. You must be a non-monogamist. You must at least be okay with me having sex with other men…you having sex with other women is optional. Not only that, I will likely film myself having sex with other men and put it on the internet. You being in my vids is optional. I know, this is a non-starter for most men…but if you’re an experienced ‘lifestyle’ person or feel an open relationship makes sense for you, I’m a dream-come-true.

#10. You’ll need to be strong. I find that identifying as sub, Dom or switch doesn’t really make a difference. I am naturally Dominant, independent, strong-willed and a bit of a control freak, but I lose respect for guys who let me walk all over them. Whatever role you play sexually, outside of the bedroom you must be able to hold your own without being a dick about it. I love a man with excellent manners who treats a women with respect. A gentleman can do that without being spineless.

#10 – part 2. Regarding being sub, Dom or switch: I’m sexually adventurous. Forget labels and don’t assume you know how I would be sexually in private or how I would be as a partner day-to-day based on my vids. There’s a lot more to me. Mistress T is only a small part of who I really am.

About me: I’m 36. I love yoga and eating well. I’m in excellent health. I have no children and don’t want to give birth to any. I don’t have pets either. (If you have children or pets that’s fine). I live in Vancouver and although there’s no reason I couldn’t relocate, I don’t really want to. I travel a lot (30-50% of the year). I am an atheist. I have a pretty active social life (except tonight *smile*) and a wonderful circle of close friends who I cherish. Some of those close friends are ex boyfriends and previous lovers. That should tell you that even if things don’t work out between us there’s unlikely to be any drama.

Lastly, if you’re reading my blog you already know what I do for a living. You’ll have to be 100% okay with that because I love what I do. I don’t need to be rescued and I don’t plan on ‘retiring’ until I absolutely can’t do this anymore. I don’t need a business partner so you can either contribute to my business somehow or keep yourself completely separate from it. Makes no difference to me.

Want to meet me for a warm or cold beverage? See if we click? Email me:


Members site: http://www.MistressT.net
PPV: http://www.clips4sale.com/23869
Blog: http://mistresst.wordpress.com/
Twitter: http://twitter.com/#!/MistressTdotnet

The face that launched a 1000 ships! Ok, I haven’t launched any ships…

Too Strong?

I considered making the title of this post: “Fuck You” but decided to take a slightly less negative approach.

This is a sort of a follow up to my last post “Man Hater?” where I addressed the question (accusation): Do I hold men in contempt?

I’ve recently done the dating dance with a couple of fella’s…somewhat simultaneously (I’m a non-monogamist in case you didn’t know) and both have arrived at a similar place. Although the details are different the overall message is that my strength is an issue. One assumed I must be a man hater since I didn’t fall in love with him and the other couldn’t deal with the fact that I didn’t NEED him.

To protect the innocent I’ll leave out any more details and just focus on me (this blog is about ME, isn’t it?).

Valentine’s seemed like an appropriate day for all of this to come to a head. The dragon in me breathed fire as I considered the weakness of some men. Why some men need to feel needed. Why can’t they be happy with just being wanted?

I don’t need a man in my life. It doesn’t take a very sharp person to pick that up pretty quickly, I’m a bit of a man-eater. I can separate sex from love easily. I have quite a few ex’s as friends but I have just as many who are in the rear view mirror.

It’s no accident that I am the way I am. From a very young age my Mother groomed me to be a strong independent woman. I was raised in rural Nova Scotia where you were expected to get married and have kids. You could maybe be a teacher or nurse, but you better be able to cook a turkey dinner for 10 people, decorate a birthday cake like a car, get beet stains out of a table cloth and keep your husband happy. For some reason my Mother decided that I would have what ever life I wanted and all the better if it didn’t involve being a slave to a husband and kids. So she told me over and over: you need to be strong in life, take care of yourself, don’t depend on a man, do what makes you happy, etc.

Bless her soul. She created a god damn monster, didn’t she?

Maybe she laid it on a little too thick? I’ve become so strong & independent that most men just don’t know how to deal with me. Well, to those weak men who it seems I now do hold in contempt: fuck you.

Ah, that feels better…

Mistress T

Members site: http://www.MistressT.net
PPV: http://www.clips4sale.com/23869
Blog: http://mistresst.wordpress.com/
Twitter: http://twitter.com/#!/MistressTdotnet

Fuck you. No really.

Who NEEDS a man when you've got a nifty pig statue!

I could toally toss this gas pump, like, the length of a football field! Roar!

This is a stick up. Give me your balls..oh, you don't have any...