I’ve written about not being accepted. This post is about the flip side, the joy in being accepted.
I’ve recently been reading a biography of a gay porn star & his trials in finding a partner who was accepting of his career. Although I’ve met quite a few gals in the business who have amazing partners, there’s some of us who have had more challenges in our relationships. The biz is often the obstacle, the non-starter for many men.
I have someone in my life now who not only accepts me as I am but celebrates it & shares it. That’s a first for me.
He had been familiar with my Mistress T vids & then we met through a friend several years ago. I treated him as a slave boy, which he liked. Eventually we became friends and gradually (the last several months) more.
He completely understands the realities of my job. He’s been watching FemDom porn for as long as he can remember.
In the past my being out of town so much killed a couple of relationships. He doesn’t give me a hard time about all the traveling. No guilt. No neediness.
He’s into cuckolding, so actually loves that I’m with other men, on & off screen. No jealousy or possessiveness.
I can tell him my darkest, most twisted fantasies & often his are similar. If they’re not, he doesn’t judge. At all.
Like many of you reading this, I have spent most of my life feeling ashamed of the things that turn me on. I’ve had a mix of reactions when I’ve dared share those fantasies with others. Now, I have a job that causes me no end of grief when it comes to being judged by others. Last year, an experiment in online dating & telling potential suitors about my job was stressful. Often men would say they were okay with it but their follow up questions or comments revealed prejudices.
Many of you are in relationships with partners who don’t even know what you’re jerking off to in your private time. Maybe you felt you could never tell anyone or those fetishes developed AFTER you were already married. I feel your pain. It is extremely difficult to find a partner who shares niche fetishes & extremely difficult to be with someone who doesn’t.
I feel very grateful today to be with someone who thinks that I’m awesome in all my kinkiness, who has zero issue with my job, totally gets it & who personally I can be my true self with. If that’s inspiration to anyone still seeking their unicorn, great.