To Be Accepted

I like fucked up shit, okay? Oh, you're into fucked up shit too? Awesome!

I like fucked up shit, okay? Oh, you’re into fucked up shit too? Awesome!

I’ve written about not being accepted. This post is about the flip side, the joy in being accepted.

I’ve recently been reading a biography of a gay porn star & his trials in finding a partner who was accepting of his career. Although I’ve met quite a few gals in the business who have amazing partners, there’s some of us who have had more challenges in our relationships. The biz is often the obstacle, the non-starter for many men.

I have someone in my life now who not only accepts me as I am but celebrates it & shares it. That’s a first for me.

He had been familiar with my Mistress T vids & then we met through a friend several years ago. I treated him as a slave boy, which he liked. Eventually we became friends and gradually (the last several months) more.

He completely understands the realities of my job. He’s been watching FemDom porn for as long as he can remember.

In the past my being out of town so much killed a couple of relationships. He doesn’t give me a hard time about all the traveling. No guilt. No neediness.

He’s into cuckolding, so actually loves that I’m with other men, on & off screen. No jealousy or possessiveness.

I can tell him my darkest, most twisted fantasies & often his are similar. If they’re not, he doesn’t judge. At all.

Like many of you reading this, I have spent most of my life feeling ashamed of the things that turn me on. I’ve had a mix of reactions when I’ve dared share those fantasies with others. Now, I have a job that causes me no end of grief when it comes to being judged by others. Last year, an experiment in online dating & telling potential suitors about my job was stressful. Often men would say they were okay with it but their follow up questions or comments revealed prejudices.

Many of you are in relationships with partners who don’t even know what you’re jerking off to in your private time. Maybe you felt you could never tell anyone or those fetishes developed AFTER you were already married. I feel your pain. It is extremely difficult to find a partner who shares niche fetishes & extremely difficult to be with someone who doesn’t.

I feel very grateful today to be with someone who thinks that I’m awesome in all my kinkiness, who has zero issue with my job, totally gets it & who personally I can be my true self with. If that’s inspiration to anyone still seeking their unicorn, great.

Mistress T

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16 thoughts on “To Be Accepted

  1. Thats awesome, I’m really glad you for and that you shared this. You are my favorite prodomme on the internet hands down, you are the real deal, and posts like this really drive that point home.

  2. I’m very happy for you and it’s very inspiring even for those of us who tend to give up hope. What can I say except “Congratulations”?

  3. Its good to see you so happy, Mistress T. Thank you for sharing your wonderful life with us.

    • Thanks for the link. I agreed with everything except the implication that sex in a corset would likely happen on the regular. I know a lot of women who love corsets…but I just prefer to be naked:-)
      A great read!

  4. I try to ‘come out’ as a submissive to Women in as many social contexts as I possibly can, even among the ‘normals.’ Why should I be ashamed that I worship Women and enjoy being treated as a Woman’s slave, when Women are clearly superior to men – or at the very least, superior to me.

    Imagine if all the really brave submissive men in the world came out of the closet and owned up to who we are in relation to Women? Imagine if we projected an attitude of: ‘This is who we are, and if you don’t like it, that’s your problem?’ It would probably liberate a lot of other men who want to be submissive but can’t, because of their fears; and many Women might discover how desirable and pleasurable it is to be served and worshiped by male slaves. At that point it really could become a social movement that changes the world.

    • Ha ha…in this case, yes. It took several years of strategic persistence but at this moment he seems to feel it was worth it.

  5. How delightful to find yourself! To find a fellow traveler even more so. Thanks for the thoughtful share and willingness to be emotionally naked, too!

  6. As someone who is in a relationship where I simply can’t be myself, I am both happy for you and jealous. 🙂

    Thanks for posting this, it’s nice to know someone out there actually understands.

  7. I have just discovered your blog and have spent a lot of time reading past entries.
    I love reading about your life and your journey being you, and of finding people who accept you and love you for it.
    It’s beautiful. This entry, about being accepted, is the most touching. I knew nothing about your life outside of your clips and it was a pleasure to get to know the real you a little bit too. I am happy that you are happy.

    Also, the video with you and the monkeys in Peru was so adorable!
    Happy New Year.
    Be well.

  8. Thank you for that Mistress!! Its always good to hear from others who have the same sexual frustrations that I (we) do. You certainly deserve it, because you have provided sooooooo much happiness to all your fans!! Sometimes Kharma isn’t a bitch!!

  9. I found this entry very inspiring, from several different angles, and also very

    My surprise was that you would feel ashamed at what turns you on.

    I imagined that you had worked out long ago that everyone’s wired a bit differently and while a lot of people have some fairly common shared fantasies some have less commonly shared fantasies, or at least less common to their particular area.

    By themselves they are not shameful, they just are.

    The other point is there is fantasy and reality. Some fantasies arouse because of the lure of the forbidden, whereas IRL they would be grossly unethical or even illegal. You seem a deeply ethical person and I could imagine you (or anyone) being attracted to such things while knowing IRL you’d rather die than actually do such things to someone who had not agreed to them first.

    It was also interesting that it seems you’ve found someone whose comfortable sharing all of your life, and that knew you for a long time first.

    I’ll hope it lasts.

  10. PS

    I really like the photo.

    Like a hard core Snow White.

    Or perhaps a wicked step mother.

    I can’t decide. 🙂

  11. You and him are both lucky to have found someone you can be yourself around.Someone to share your kinks with. For some it’s damn near impossible.I have the horrid luck to be cursed with a clown fetish, may as well be leprosy.

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