How not to talk to women…

Okay...if a girl is already showing you her tits it's okay to say they're nice...

Okay…if a girl is already showing you her tits it’s okay to say they’re nice…

“Show me your tits” is a classic zero-class thing to say to a woman that will produce no positive result.

A female friend of mine was recently harassed in an alley at night while she was taking her garbage out. Three drunk guys told her to show them her tits. It reminded me of a great way to help men understand how very unwelcome that kind of attention is.

I’m talking to you guys…imagine that you’re walking down an alley at night & you encounter a few guys (bigger, tougher guys than you). They shout out ‘a compliment’: “Hey, nice ass!”. Before you can even react they follower it up with: “How bout you take your pants down & show us that ass.”

You then realize you’re in the roughest part of the gay part of town & these are tough, leather daddy homosexuals, drunk & feeling brave & horny in their group. You realize that if these guys decide they want to have you, you would likely not be able to fight them off. You realize that they’re likely quick to anger & could take you if you insult them.

How do you feel? What do you do?

(If this happens to be your sexual fantasy, to be gang-banged in an alley by some rough gay dudes please substitute them for something you’re NOT into sexually but threatened by…I don’t know, an auditor, divorce lawyer, Donald Trump, whatever.)

Most guys say they would love women to shout out cat calls to them, they think putting themselves in the women’s position is switching roles…but the key to understanding how a woman feels is to know that you could likely not fight off the unwanted advances of the person who is ‘complimenting’ you.

Make sense?

So, don’t cat call or shout at women from your cars, women walking down the street, etc. No positive outcome can be expected. At best it’s annoying to her, more often it feels threatening/scary for her. She’s not going to walk up to you & ask you to fuck her because you told her she has a nice shitter.

There are times when it’s appropriate to compliment a woman you don’t know but do it with grace: compliment her eyes, hair, outfit/style, laugh, smile, energy, (not her tits or ass). Do not act offended if she doesn’t respond the way you would like. Even if your intentions are good & your approach is ace, she does not owe you a positive response. You are not entitled to her gratitude. However she reacts, handle it with grace. Don’t get pissy & insult her if she doesn’t respond how you would like. You have no idea what she is going through in that moment or what she has been through before. Again, I can’t stress this enough: she does not owe you the response you want.

I know it’s a tough world out there…people can seem cold, it’s hard to make genuine connections, you might be lonely & craving human interaction…you might be desperately horny. I could list potential ways to meet people but this post is about how to NOT talk to women so I’ll keep it on point & leave it there. Treat women the way you would want men to treat your sister, mother, daughter or respected & cherished female friends.


Mistress T

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Canadian wish list: Click here

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Now Mobile-Friendly + Discounted!

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I’ve recently made 2 important improvements to my site:

#1. Mobile-friendly! Members can now stream my vids on any mobile device! You can watch my vids on your smart phone, iPad, etc. If you have the space you can download them too but I understand that streaming on smaller devices will be the most important feature to a lot of my fans.

#2. New discounted price for recurring Premium membership! $39 recurring monthly is the new price ($10 less than it was before!). That gives you access to 1460 vids in my library + at least 10 new vids per month! (Usually 12 or 13)

Join now here:

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If you are currently on the previous price & you want to change it here’s how: (Unless you consider your membership a way of serving me than just leave it at $49/month)

Simply go to and log in with the same username/password you use for my site. Follow the instructions – it’s easy. (Then rejoin my site with the same username/password to get the new price for the PREMIUM recurring membership.)

If you have any problems please email my helpful webmaster:

There are other little improvements to the site, like “Infinity Scroll” on the video page. You can turn it on or off.

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Did you know my members site is 8 years old? I started my clips store a year before that & was performing in Club Stiletto scenes the year before…& doing Professional Domination sessions privately before that. So I’ve passed a decade in the biz. Wow, I have done A LOT of kinky stuff!

I’m still enjoying it & I’m glad that so many of you are still loving my content. My site has been doing better than ever despite not being completely compatible with some mobile devices so I’m excited that a lot more fans will be able to enjoy my vids now that my site has been improved. 8 years ago watching porn on phones was not as common. Now I think it has become one of the primary ways guys are watching porn.

I understand there is a lot of free content out there. If you are a fan of me & a fan of my content joining my site is the best way to show your devotion, support & also to most easily & safely view my content without annoying ads, click-bait, pop-ups, risk of viruses & contributing to illegal piracy that’s negatively impacting my industry. Thanks for your support! xo

Mistress T

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Oral sex?

MistressT fetish goddess asslicking ass worship

I know you want to be him, but cool your engines & read this before emailing me begging to lick me…

I get a lot of emails from guys wanting to lick my ass and/or pussy. So I decided to make a blog post on the topic so I can just email this link rather than explaining over & over.

If you’re not a reader, the short answer is: “No”. But if you’re interested in more info please read on…

If you know my story from the beginning you’ll know that I started out doing no-contact voyeur shows/masturbation shows where the guy could jerk himself off while watching me…because although I was excited by being an exhibitionist & enjoyed naughty play I wasn’t comfortable actually having sex in that situation. I didn’t like the idea of feeling obligated to have sex with a guy just because he had paid me. From voyeur shows I transitioned to Pro Domme work & I followed the so-called traditional rules of Professional Domination (no intercourse, no oral sex, no hand jobs) & that was fine but they weren’t MY rules and over time I adjusted the rules to suit me (occasionally requiring oral service from regular clients I felt comfortable with, for example.) I even ended up in a long term relationship with someone who started out as a client.

At one point I decided that I couldn’t be sure ‘escort work’ wasn’t for me unless I tried it so I gave it a go & after about a half dozen clients my curiosity was satisfied. I simply do not enjoy being in a situation where I am obligated to have intercourse or oral sex with someone because they have paid me…when it’s my job to provide that service. All sex work is providing a service to a certain extent, even traditional Pro Domme work (you are exchanging a service for money). I am naturally Dominant & a control freak. There are limits to how “service-oriented” I can be before I hit a wall.

Hand jobs tho? I love giving hand jobs & I have no issue with that. But that’s my hand vs. my vagina, so that’s understandable. It’s certainly a lot more intimate for someone to touch my vagina or anus than my HAND touching them.

I know some people see my vids and get the impression that I do everything with anyone. BUT the men I’m intimate with in my vids are men that I am very familiar with. Often they are my own personal lovers. Sometimes friends or clients I’ve had for years. Sometimes they are slaves that have served one of my fellow Dommes for a long time, making them more comfortable to be with.

If you’re reading this & trying to figure out how you can get between my legs…it’s not impossible but it’s unlikely if that is your only selfish goal. You can pay for my time in private to get acquainted or if you have value as a film slave, you can apply…but don’t try to date me. I’m running a business. Respect that. Sure, I have been in a relationship with someone who started as a client (although that was 1 out of hundreds, so the odds aren’t in your favor)…but I have NEVER gone on a date (with no compensation) with someone who has started as a fan of Mistress T. Guys looking for free play greatly offend me.

So to recap:

– I don’t offer “escort” type sessions (intercourse or oral sex for pay). That means no oral worship, no direct contact between your mouth, hands or penis & my vagina or anus. By the way, prostitution is legal where I live so this is not a legal disclaimer, it’s real.

– Hand jobs are fine (along with strap-on, role-play, humiliation, foot worship, golden showers, ballbusting, spanking, sissy play/X-dressing & a few other things.)

– My social rate is $100/hour & I LOVE meeting fans! We can go for lunch or dinner…a walk, shopping, to the theater, parties, whatever. I’m a social chameleon.

– My private session rates vary depending on details but nothing in private happens for less than $300 the first time. I am very selective about who I see in private & rarely accept sessions these days. I’m pretty busy creating all the amazing content you love to jerk off to! I do need to eat though so you’re welcome to take me for a meal (at $100/hr social rate) & discuss the possibility of a private session.

Mistress T

Members site:


Are you fucking kidding me?

Are you fucking kidding me?

This is a rant. I don’t usually go on rants, well, at least not online. Some of you won’t agree with me here. Some of you will think less of me after reading this & I don’t give a damn.

I received a message on Fetlife from a guy saying that he couldn’t believe I was still looking, that he was pretty intimidated by me but thought he’d take a shot at contacting me anyway. I liked how he wrote & although I don’t usually message guys back (I’m a bit of an asshole that way) him saying that he was intimidated by me hit a nerve. I know it takes a lot of balls to approach a woman so I thought I’d give him a chance.

His picture left everything to the imagination. I could basically just make out that he was human. His profile said he was camera shy so I didn’t press for more pictures. I simply offered to meet up sooner rather than later to see if there was chemistry.

A few hours before we were set to meet he messaged me to say he was searching online for my vids to watch. I asked him to not contribute to piracy/file sharing by downloading my stolen, pirated content. So, we didn’t get off on the right foot. I wondered how clueless someone could be?

Within 20 seconds of meeting him I understood the gravity of my mistake. The combination of the lack of pics & his opening line about being intimidated by me should have been a screaming red flag.

The hope that we would at least have a pleasant conversation quickly evaporated as he rambled without pause for 10 minutes straight about a topic I only expressed a vague interest in.

He also talked a lot about himself & I soon learned he was in his early 40’s, unemployed with limited prospects, no plans, & seemed to think the right thing to wear when trying to impress a woman was an old hoodie & unflattering jeans.

I had plenty of time to try to think of an exit plan as he rambled on and on without noticing I was hardly paying attention anymore. When I finally had an opportunity to speak I mentioned that perhaps he should start a blog about the topic he had been rambling about and he actually said: “I should blog. As you can tell, there’s no shortage of things I have to say.”

As I abruptly thanked him for coming to meet with me he started going on about how lovely I am and how much he would like to see me again. All the while I was slowly shaking my head no. But that wasn’t enough for him. He wasn’t picking up the clues. I actually had to say that I wasn’t feeling it. Not interested. Ouch. But anyone else would have clearly picked up the obvious clues (especially me abruptly ending the meeting).

He later messaged me trying to find some way, any opportunity to spend more time with me. Really?!

He seems like a nice enough guy. Maybe the kind of guy who would do anything for ya. I’m note sure. Hell, he could be a complete bastard too. It doesn’t matter.  Here’s my rant:

From now on, if a guy says that he’s intimidated by me I’m going to take that as a clear sign that on some level he knows he’s not good enough for me. GOOD: BE INTIMIDATED. Some people are out of your league or just in a different league. I know that a politician or a guy from a high profile rich family who cares about public image is not going to marry a Dominatrix/porn star. I know that if a guy really wants a bunch of kids & a house wife baking cookies for the Church fundraiser that I’m not right for him.

If you’re an unemployed, unattractive guy with shitty social skills & can’t be bothered to be presentable for a first impression DON’T approach an ambitious, well-traveled, independent, beautiful, groomed, successful business woman who has a reputation for chewing men up & spitting them out. What the fuck are you thinking? It’s like hunting big game with a pellet gun.

It’s ironic that the guy I met with today started his correspondence saying that he couldn’t believe I’m still looking. Did he think that I must be desperate enough by now to settle for anything?

I recently received an email from someone who reads my blog saying that I’ll always be single because I’m a dirty whore. I’m not sure if it was hate mail or fan mail but no one can deny that I’m a pretty damn successful whore and a guy who wants to be with me better have his shit together too.

I’m not perfect & I’m not looking for perfection. I’m looking for realistic compatibility. Just because I have a fucked up occupation doesn’t mean that I’m going to settle for anyone with a pulse.
Mistress T

Members site:

PS: For those who follow my blog closely & are confused because you thought I was seeing someone…well, it’s complicated. He’s still in my life but I’m still seeking… he is a bit of a cuckold & we’ve never been exclusive, sooo….maybe I’ll write a blog entry about non-monogamy & poly relationships at some point.


To Be Accepted

I like fucked up shit, okay? Oh, you're into fucked up shit too? Awesome!

I like fucked up shit, okay? Oh, you’re into fucked up shit too? Awesome!

I’ve written about not being accepted. This post is about the flip side, the joy in being accepted.

I’ve recently been reading a biography of a gay porn star & his trials in finding a partner who was accepting of his career. Although I’ve met quite a few gals in the business who have amazing partners, there’s some of us who have had more challenges in our relationships. The biz is often the obstacle, the non-starter for many men.

I have someone in my life now who not only accepts me as I am but celebrates it & shares it. That’s a first for me.

He had been familiar with my Mistress T vids & then we met through a friend several years ago. I treated him as a slave boy, which he liked. Eventually we became friends and gradually (the last several months) more.

He completely understands the realities of my job. He’s been watching FemDom porn for as long as he can remember.

In the past my being out of town so much killed a couple of relationships. He doesn’t give me a hard time about all the traveling. No guilt. No neediness.

He’s into cuckolding, so actually loves that I’m with other men, on & off screen. No jealousy or possessiveness.

I can tell him my darkest, most twisted fantasies & often his are similar. If they’re not, he doesn’t judge. At all.

Like many of you reading this, I have spent most of my life feeling ashamed of the things that turn me on. I’ve had a mix of reactions when I’ve dared share those fantasies with others. Now, I have a job that causes me no end of grief when it comes to being judged by others. Last year, an experiment in online dating & telling potential suitors about my job was stressful. Often men would say they were okay with it but their follow up questions or comments revealed prejudices.

Many of you are in relationships with partners who don’t even know what you’re jerking off to in your private time. Maybe you felt you could never tell anyone or those fetishes developed AFTER you were already married. I feel your pain. It is extremely difficult to find a partner who shares niche fetishes & extremely difficult to be with someone who doesn’t.

I feel very grateful today to be with someone who thinks that I’m awesome in all my kinkiness, who has zero issue with my job, totally gets it & who personally I can be my true self with. If that’s inspiration to anyone still seeking their unicorn, great.

Mistress T

Members site:

Birthday advance warning…

My birthday is at the end of April. That makes me a Taurus & I’ll be 37 (I’ve never lied about my age).

Cake a friend made me a couple years ago.

Cake a friend made me a couple years ago.

In preparation for those who feel the urge to spoil me on my special day I have updated my Amazon Wish List. Thank you to those who have sent me presents from the list, they are much appreciated.

Here’s the link:

You might notice the updated list is pretty short. Apparently some items can’t be shipped to Canada so my options on Amazon are somewhat limited. All of the items on there now CAN be shipped to me…& you are always welcome to send an Amazon Gift Card so I can shop for just the right thing.

You can also send $$$ via the tribute button on my clips store:

It looks like this:

Look for the tribute button on my clips store!

Look for the tribute button on my clips store!

If you’d like to do something even more personalized feel free to contact me:

Maybe this year my birthday cake will look like this:

Birthday boobs! Yah!

Birthday boobs! Yah!

Mistress T

Members site:

We can't always get what we want for our birthday...

We can’t always get what we want for our birthday…