The book. Yes, I wrote a book. I’ve learned that writing a book is easy! The hard part is in the editing. That’s the work. Getting a polished product across the finish line. It’s been edited twice by two different editors. I’m on my 3rd editor who is half way through. After that I’ll have a special nit-picky editor do the last sweep to perfect all punctuation, grammar & spelling.
I want it to be right. I want to put out a good product & being my first book I am learning as I go. It’s an emotional project. The book is about my life, the ingredients that went into me becoming Mistress T & my life in this role. There’s plenty of salacious stuff of course, but it’s an accurate reflection of a real life lived & that means there is heart break & emotional trauma too because who gets to their 40’s without having some shit happen?
The ending of the book has been the hardest. I aim to summarize my view of how the adult industry has been both empowering & objectifying for me. I’m trying to walk the line, explain it the right way so a reader can’t say that I either glamorize or condemn the industry. I don’t want my book used as evidence that being a sex worker is damaging but I don’t want it used as inspiration for a woman to get into the biz, not understanding the full spectrum of how it can affect you.
So that is my work this week. Crafting an ending that is all things. Accepting that the lens of the reader will still influence how they interpret it.
Current challenge: I could use little review blurbs for the back cover. Publishers typically have a system for getting other authors to review each others books for the back cover, or something like that, but I’m self publishing. There’s some controversy around these review blurbs. Marketers say it’s a must. Skeptics say it’s just authors doing favors for each other. Does it even make a difference anymore? As with everything I do, I aim for authenticity so I’ll take a sincere review from someone who has enough “celebrity” status to carry weight. Or I’ll just not have any. Whatever. If you, yes, you reading this, can assist me by either being a “celebrity” or reputable reviewer or can help connect me with an appropriate person I would be grateful.
I’ll be doing an audio book, narrating it myself. I might do a video series of me reading the book too. We’ll see.
I plan to use Amazon to distribute & haven’t worked out a painless way to sell signed copies yet, but I know there will be a demand for that. If you’re interested in getting a signed copy keep checking my twitter & blog as I will make announcements when I have it sorted. I won’t keep it a secret, I assure you;-)
I’ll give you a teaser today. I think I have finally settled on the beginning of the book & you’ll find it below:
“Do you mind?”
He asked from behind me, cock in hand, stroking. By the dim glow of the TV I could make out his size; large. But I already knew that. Mom loved to brag about her boyfriend.
Even at thirteen I could recognize the face of a man boiling with excitement and sexual tension, but I didn’t care, didn’t feel threatened, didn’t feel much of anything. Shrugging, I returned to my show. What was on TV? It wasn’t porn; He was masturbating to me.
I had already become numb to sexually inappropriate situations. I wasn’t surprised when my mother didn’t break up with him for it. She simply ensured that we weren’t alone together anymore. After all, she had been dangling me in front of him from the start, had shown him a picture of me in lacy lingerie that barely concealed my budding breasts.
I couldn’t have known back then that I’d make a career out of innumerable men masturbating to their fantasies about me.
To be continued…
Members Site: www.MistressT.net
C4S (Buy vids or just send a TRIBUTE! I love random tributes!): http://www.clips4sale.com/23869
I think the book will be a success. Your writing style draws one in.
Undoubtedly, you have celebrities who are fans. Whether any will volunteer remains to be seen. Otherwise, you might find some of your less famous and more anonymous fans willing – and experienced – reviewers with a commensurate ability to write a legitimate and honest (hopefully flattering) review.
You may notice my other hand in the air . . . . . .
Thanks! No doubt I have lots of lovely fans who could write fantastic reviews…the back cover blurb reviews are a marketing thing & thus are meant to be from folks who’s reputations carry some sort of (real or perceived) weight. Ya know? Like “The New York Times Book Review”, “Guardian” or well known authors like Stephen King or Douglas Coupland…my dream reviewer would be Margaret Atwood but if she didn’t like the book I’d probably just burn it & never let anyone else read it. lol
Dear Mistress T. I will definitely be buying the book. I have sent you an email identifying a possible reviewer. He has written a couple of books himself.
Also the ETA you requested 🙂
No celebrity status here unfortunately, but the beginning is indeed VERY promising. Well done, You!
Signed copy, yes, Audiobook, yes, Video read, yes. Yes, yes, yes!!!
Looking forward to it, and wonder about pricing. Value and Price, perhaps another poll?
I am sure your book will be a big success,you don’t need any reviews,I am sure
your fans will buy it on your reputation alone,I read your little taster,and it got me hooked! Bob x
What if I want to sell the book to those who are not already my fans? In that case it needs to be presented properly…or so says the fancy marketing firm I hired for advice:-)
Would those be the actual opening lines of the book?
I’ve no problem with the content, because it’s factual and part of your life experience. However, the context and positioning does seem very odd to me.
Was this personal choice, or did your editor have a say?
That would be the opening. All have agreed they love it so far. Interesting that you do not…?
I think that’s a great opening. Draws you right in and makes you want to read more. I definitely will want to read your book and will try to buy it some way but do not want it delivered to the house as I am totally closeted about my Bdsm interests. Will your book be available as an ebook by any chance?
Obviously, I’m going to come across as a bit of a prick for saying this, but you’ve put a lot of time and effort into this project. So, I’ll try and explain the reasoning behind my original message.
Your existing fan base will buy it regardless. You know that. So, I’m looking at this through the eyes of someone who’s never heard of you, and knows nothing about you. Or a critic.
Also, this isn’t about content, it’s about structure and being in charge of your story.
It would certainly be unusual to begin a book of this type on what would be classed as a ‘down note’. As the first page of a book generally sets the tone and theme of what is to come. And, as the old saying goes, you only get one chance to make a first impression.
Unfortunately, one word instantly sprang to mind after I read those first four paragraphs, and it begins with a V. Along with a whole bunch of other negative connotations and swirling assumptions.
That’s the very first impression a newbie will have of you. And of course, every critic will put the book down at that point and go ‘see, told you so’, because, they’ll be joining all the dots you’ve just given them and making up a whole bunch of their own tawdry assumptions and conclusions. That you’ll struggle to break down later, because they’ll have already made up their minds about you in those first few moments.
I’m going to try and use a shitty analogy here as I haven’t that much time ..
Show them the shining castle on the hill FIRST. Show them what all the building blocks of your life have produced. Here, you’re in control of the narrative and how you’re perceived right from the start, and placed yourself in a position of strength that’s difficult to undermine.
However, give your readers those same building blocks, without showing them the final assembly plan, and they’ll build what the hell they like from them. You lose narrative control, and how you’re perceived (whether good or bad) is now totally up to them.
Yep, that was pretty shity, oh well.
Anyway, I think it’s important that you stamp your authority, show exactly who you are and how you want to be perceived, right at the very beginning. Still use that same initial scene, but relegate it to a later building block, not use it as your initial defining statement
Sure, you still want the big ‘suck them in’, page turning intro that’ll drive your readers and critics into a foaming mouthed frenzy. And, I guarantee that it’s probably already sitting right there, staring up at you from one of the pages you’ve already written.
If you were my client, I’d have been looking out for that one killer intro anecdote right from the very start.
That one insane, crazy, you’re never going to believe it session !! (of which I’m sure there are many) But, also a session that showcases the goofy, charming, charismatic, confident, intelligent, independent woman that You now are. Because, once you’ve established that, everyone’s perception of You from then on, will be anchored right there at that point, and very difficult to ever tear down or refute.
That’s the gold .. That’s the shining castle .. All the later building blocks, all the good and bad things that have happened in your life, that make You You, reference back, and have their foundations solidly grounded in those first positive opening pages. It’s the setting of the stage, upon which everything else occurs.
Then again, perhaps it’s personal bias? Because, what I want to see is Mistress T kicking the doors down and causing a bloody riot in those first few pages. Showing who’s Boss, before slowly peeling off the latex and letting us get to know Her, where She came from and what made Her the awesome woman She is today.
Told you I’d end up looking like a prick. Lol …
Jim, thank you so much for your thoughtful feedback. I really appreciate it & I don’t think you’re a prick. I don’t even think you’re wrong, really.
A couple others echoed what you said, even more bluntly, that I might lose fans, turn them off, that it wasn’t a great marketing tool for my business, though that was not just about the first page.
The thing is, I didn’t write the book to be a marketing tool to sell more vids or whatever. I don’t even particularly care if the book makes me any money. I only care that I put out a product that I feel is authentic. That the book tells my story honestly. Could I do that by starting on a high note? Obviously there are such points in the book. But there is a very good reason I started it that way & I can not fully explain without giving too much away.
I received the following feedback from another fan today (he has given permission for me to use it here) & this feedback tells me that at least in his case, I’ve achieved what I hoped for with this start:
“Not that you asked but I love the intro to your new book. It instantly captured my attention, stiffened my member, and made me desperate to read more. It was the perfect blend of erotic, authentic, and intriguing.
Not that you asked but I hate the intro to your new book. It left me questioning whether you were the victim of sexual assault and whether or not there are scars that remain to this day hidden under the exterior of your perfectly portrayed persona. It left me haunted of the real person behind the portrayal, that until that point I’d conveniently ignored in an effort to not have to confront my own twisted fantasies of what filthy things I’d like to have done to me by Mistress T.
Not that you asked but I think the intro is perfect because of the fact that I can simultaneously love and hate it. I can be both aroused and perplexed, haunted and fulfilled. I think your transparency perfectly captures the paradox so many of us deal with. Perhaps I’m reading way too much into a couple paragraphs and assigning to your writing my own issues but I believe that’s what good books allow us to do. They cause us to see and lose ourselves. I can’t wait to read more.”
Hi There, Mistress T,
Great opening – certainly caught my attention!
As for reviewers, I can think of two, both Australian (I’m from Australia):
1) Anne O Nomis: Writer of “The History and Arts of the Dominatrix. Twitter @anneonomis. Her name is a pseudonym and a play on Anonymous.
2) Passionfruit – The Sensuality Shop –
Ive met the owner and she is quite nice and knowledgeable. The shop also offers quite an interesting range of books too, so she’s already read a few books in the industry. Also, Anne O Nomis gives presentations at the shop.
Have a look at their Twitter pages, and their websites – perhaps they might appeal to you!
Good luck with the rest of the hard slog! I look forward to seeing the final product!
As I’m sure you’re well aware. It’s easy to tell a story. However, actually getting a book or film out there is 99% banging your head against a brick wall, tying yourself in psychological knots, and lots and lots of sleepless nights.
My deepest respect to those who actually manage to do it.
I certainly don’t envy the difficult balancing act and soul searching you’re having to go through at the moment.
My advice would be to pretty much disregard any feedback from friends, family or fans (even me. Lol). All way too close. All either projecting or protecting their own personal agendas.
Looking at the three pieces of feedback you supplied, and being harsh (sorry).
1.) He’s just wanked himself off after reading it and is basically looking for more stuff to wank to.
3.) Same as above, but blowing extra smoke up your ass.
2.) Already traumatised.
And, we both know that 1 & 3 would almost certainly have said complimentary stuff no matter what you had written. 2 is more concerning, because that feedback has come from a supporter, and it almost certainly pained them to have had to write something negative and send it to you.
Catharsis, resolution, life story and opinion piece with a nod to a wider commercial audience is a tricky juggling act to pull off. Get it wrong, give ammunition to those who want to undermine your industry, and you’ll end up taking flak not only from the wider world, but also those around you. You already know this, so there’s no point in me laboring the point.
More unwanted opinionated advice below. Yayy !!!
Write from the heart, write from the gut, write what you want. Finish it !!
Send that draft out to someone who matters. Someone whose opinion you respect. Someone whose advice you CANNOT dismiss. The type of person in your heart of hearts, you would actually love to read your book. Any professional will sign an NDA for stuff like this, it’s common practice. (free forms online)
Donate to their favorite charity, do what it takes to get them to say yes.
Just shooting the breeze here. But, if it were me, I’d reach out to someone like Erika Lust. Super smart, professional, media savvy and sensitive to most of issues the book might raise.
If she (or an/other) loves it. Jackpot, full steam ahead.
If it’s a ‘Hmmmmmmm’. It’s not the end of the world, it just means it needs more work.
Feedback from a trusted and respected reader like this is worth it’s weight in gold, but you have to be able to take what they say on the chin, and adapt and adjust from there.
Trust me, if you read the first draft of any successful multi million dollar film, I guarantee you, your initial reaction would be ‘You’ve got to be kidding me, this is absolute shit’.
Why do you think so many writers look like they’ve drunk way too much coffee and had too many late nights. Lol … That’s not from the initial writing, that’s from all the endless re-writing that inevitably follows.
Anyway enough of my blathering.
I genuinely can’t wait to see the end result. Because, I know there’s no way you’re going to be throwing it out to the wolves, I mean your audience, until it’s exactly how you want it to be …
Jim! How did you miss that those 3 pieces of feedback were all from the same person? In doing so you completely missed the point. He loved it, hated it AND wanted to read more. That’s all I wanted with the beginning. If someone is going to completely judge me, as you’ve predicted, from the first couple of paragraphs & read no more, well, who fucking cares about that person?
Thanks for taking the time on the rest of the feedback tho. No doubt you’ll have plenty more when you read the whole thing:-)
I did say not to trust fan feedback, even my own. And immediately managed to prove myself right. Lol …
I thought you’d doctored the beginnings to hide identity, then obviously decided to go off on my own little self serving tangent !!
Such is life and Karma. xxx
It’s all good. Again, I appreciate you taking the time to give it so much thought & replying.
Did you do some research on location of your followers/subscribers to see if it makes sense to direct extra attention to certain countries? Perhaps consider translating it into local language and/or selling the rights for certain countries to interested parties?
How about a booktour?
My pleased Misstress T,
that sounds really great that you are an author, too.
My second profession is bookseller.
Also I work on the “Book of Love” .
Always also I was looking for a woman as a co-author
for a pure phantasy love story that goes in a stream of concsciousness
only a pair with back looking to their happy-end love story with
a lot of erotical elements to use the sex sell factor.
I am really fallin in Love with you.
If you have the manuskript and you really want to go on the upper
main stream then you should try with famous publishers what they
say about you´re manuskript like random house.
I am Mathew Tailor on the facebook and Internet and the “Paris Hilton
Fan Club ”
As a bestseller in the normal society you know you do have to have
a real profesional point of view.
I really love you´re work and think you´re a profesional and you´re
Videos do make me want to be you´re husband you´re best friend forever
to be with you.
Like I told you before still I have to wait for my real heritage that is
bondaged to the dead of my mother by a so called “Berlin Testament”.
So I am at really hard work down here for an american electronic
company up to my real heritage will come. Mother had 77th birthday
I don´t want to tell you my story I just want to offer you any kind of service
that I can do for you because really you turn me on to be you´re servant.
That is really a chance !
Hope that my real heritage will come soon so I could visit you again
and I then want to stay in the United States of America forever anyway.
Also I would have then a lot of time for you to help you in really anything.
I love you !
My very pleased Misstress T,
care for the copyright and film rights of you´re story.
The story is definitly a superkick and may be real valuable in
a lot of dollars.
So please care for you are the person who will receive the money.
I am professional businessman.
I love you and just want to give you advice for success.
Look on my facebookpage may be there is also good business
I am really excited and I really wish you will also have success and
will get some rest in you´re live. I would be the perfect loverboy for you
I feel that we are tailored for each other.
You know for the world you´re only someone
but for me you´re the world.
So remember me pray with me be successful with me.
write me if you have any question !
I love you I really want to join you you´re project
I am totally in Love with you you´re work you turn me to
be my wife !
Your´s respectfully with kind regards
Thanks. I have excellent legal advice & am doing everything to the letter;-)
Hi Mistress T, thanks for the update. Editing, UGH! I hate doing it for me. I have tried to do it for Literotica writers and I just don’t have the patience. Thank goodness for those who do.
As for the celebrities back page endorsements, Gloria Brame? She’d have to invest the time to read it, but maybe she would?
Media and Other Non-counseling queries: write firstname.lastname@example.org or call (706) 661-7089 and leave a message with your name, number, and topic of your query.
As for the beginning, you need to follow your soul, guided by your consultants. As a one page, so-titled, prologue I think it is dynamite, and perfectly serves the purpose of a classical prologue.
Would you consider elaborating on it by adding another phrase or sentence to the end of it?
” I couldn’t have known back then that I’d make a career out of innumerable men masturbating to their fantasies about me.” EXAMPLES
But I was beginning to see that being indifferent to them only made men want me more. OR
But budding in me was an aloof attitude towards male arousal that would empower me to entice and control men in my later life.
OR But I would soon learn much more about male arousal, and how much power I had when I could control it.
Welcome to the world of marketing and advertising now. You can have the best book ever written but it can still crash and burn due to things that are hard to comprehend. I still buy hardcovers and paperbacks monthly in an ever increasing digital world. I will say I don’t like the reviews on the back. Why? Because I am buying this book to, hopefully, keep forever. The praise of some celebrities or famous reviewers wouldn’t mean much to me and it would tarnish what could be a timeless cover or dust jacket etc. Especially if 10 years from now said celebrity isn’t even relevant. However it is anecdotal as well. Maybe someone who wouldn’t buy a Mistress T book would purchase it if someone they knew/liked/respected had written a few words of praise about it.
I will say that feedback from others will be the toughest in navigating with regards to the book. That opening blurb immediately caused some stereotypical ‘ah makes sense’ judgments that may do you and the rest of the book a disservice. Now I am cognizant of what I thought and why but I feel even when trying to think differently and acknowledge that it is irrational, the thought persists. But this also may work towards what you wanted which is I now want to read more. Will my own judgments prove right. Will I be proven wrong? Is that moment the pivotal moment in the creation of Mistress T or just one small experience in many that we all have that shaped the girl from rural Nova Scotia into a well known adult entertainer and performer who travels the world and is now writing a book.
Hi there, The second round of nitpicky editing (grammar, punctuation, etc.) you described is proofreading. Actually, I’ve been proofreading for a living for about 15 years now. Your editor probably has a proofreader he/she likes to use, but if not, I’ll toss my hat in the ring. (It’s not really work when my proofreading covers an interesting subject, and I’ve no doubt your book will be very interesting!)
Thanks! I might need another proofreader. Please send me an email: MsT@MistressT.net
Will your fans and loyal subscribers, like me, have an opportunity to buy Autographed copies direct from you? 😉
Mistress T, When will Your book be coming out? Did not know that You were from Nova Scotia. Learn something new every day.
Dear Mistress T,
The teaser arouses my interest (just like your website) to the rest of the book. Good luck with the completion of the book.
enrico, slave of Mistress Kate – Netherlands
Mistress, you do your job very well. I believe that you made art out of pornography. Thank you.