My birthday is tomorrow, Apr 29. I’ll be 41. So what’s it like aging in the adult industry?
Unlike the typical porn starlet, I was late to the biz. I started as a private dancer in a strip club when I was 28. The other gals where years younger except one & she didn’t really ‘dance’ for anyone. She had a few regulars who would pay her to sit & drink with them.
I dipped in & out of the adult industry for a few years & was about 32 by the time my fetish video business was full steam ahead. I started referring to myself as a MILF in the early days & added ‘mature’ soon after. The oldest among my peer group they sometimes refer to me as ‘Nana’ (& sometimes Mistress Goofball, but this isn’t a post about how hilarious I am.)
In a lot of survey’s, “MILF” is a very popular search term, often ranking higher than ‘teen’. Here’s some stats: https://www.pornhub.com/insights/2016-year-in-review
So in a world that in every other way tells you that as a women your value nose dives after 40 (or even after 35), I work in an industry where not only am I highly valued, there’s a lot less competition. I’ve even hammed up the older bit by wearing a grey wig & you’ll often see me in glasses, pearl necklaces, satin blouses or suites. For business, I’m not trying to pretend I’m younger, if anything, the opposite.
How many adult film performers are still in the biz after 40? A helleva lot less than those in their 20’s.
I have received some very generous offers from various big porn production companies who are desperate for MILF’s. I’m not really interested in working with other companies these days but since I find Virtual Reality fascinating you might see a VR fuck scene with me on HologirlsVR this year. My understanding is a key VR sex position requires me to straddle & ride a cock for several minutes & frankly, I’m not sure my knees will take it. ha ha
Anyway, back to how I feel about things. I’ll be honest, in the real world I don’t have the same ‘pull’ that I used to. Men don’t quite look at me the same, or look at me at all. Online though, things heat up more each year. Business is booming, sales numbers don’t lie, plus I get loads of messages from men of all ages desiring an older woman.
As if by cruel design though, with each passing year I become more settled, with less inclination to travel, with less energy to work, with less drive to work as hard as I did in the beginning. Finally achieving work-life balance I am no longer married to my work, I have a full & rich life outside of the biz. With an eye to the future I wonder when it will make sense to start to wind down the business. A recent meeting with my financial advisor, he posed the usual questions which were mathematical to him but personal to me: “How much longer do you think you’ll make this income? When will you need to start drawing on your investments? Etc.”
I really don’t know? My heart is still in it but when is the tipping point when I’m no longer a ‘hot MILF’ but I’ve gone ‘past my expiry date’? Of course I want to end on a high note & not drag things out to the point of embarrassment. I know I’m not near that yet but geez, ya know what I mean?
In writing this I did some research on Bettie Page. I thought that she had at one point decided to retire, maybe in her mid 30’s & had never let another photograph be taken of her. That she wanted to be remembered by her fans how she was. Unfortunately my research resulted in a less romantic explanation. She may have actually found religion. So I can’t draw any parallels here about Bettie Page feeling her age, etc. I’ll move on without Ms. Page.
Personally, I love getting older mentally. I wouldn’t want to go back to knowing less, having experienced less. Physically, I don’t think anyone is happy about aging. No one says: “Thank god my skin is starting to wrinkle! I’ve been waiting for this for too long!” The cosmetic industry is booming thanks to people fighting growing old tooth & nail. I’m not convinced there’s such a thing as growing old gracefully & there’s so few women in the public eye doing it naturally that most of us wouldn’t even know what it looks like anymore. I won’t stay on that topic as I know men would prefer to stay blissfully unaware of what women do to look good, while men often consider combing their hair as stepping up their game & trimming their nose hairs as ‘extreme grooming’. Ha ha
The book I’ve been writing is about my life. It’s been amazing working with my editor, going back through & discussing details of various chapters of my story. Seeing how events & experiences shaped who I am. Some pleasant, some not, but it all contributed. I hoped to have the book done in my 40th year & although that didn’t happen, the majority of the work on it happened in my 40th year & it will be done long before my 42nd.
Turning back toward aging in this industry…it’s amazing actually. In the real world as I start to become invisible…as I’m overlooked by more men, I am becoming more desirable to certain fans. Sure, being fetishized for being ‘older’ is somewhat objectifying, like being fetishized for being an Asian woman, a black man, a BBW, etc. but most people tend to be drawn to certain physical traits, I don’t really see anything wrong with that. We like what we like, & for men seeking a mature woman, their options are more limited in porn…& here I am. Experienced, still good lookin’ & not planning to make my exit anytime soon.
Oh…& in case you felt inclined to send me a treat for my birthday, here’s my updated wish lists:
Canadian Amazon.ca wish list: Click here
US Amazon.com wish list: Click here
Members Site: www.MistressT.net
GRRL!! you are proving to be ageless!! OOXX
There’s no one like you, you are unique, you’re different from all the rest!
You will always be in demand because you are the very best! 🙂
Happy Birthday’s, always!
Elegance is something you cannot take or buy…
You have it in spades…
Mistress T – As always very thoughtful. You eloquently described what many people go through in whatever their career might be.
Huge fan of your work and with everyone of your posts becoming a huge fan of you as a person
Hi Mistress T, perhaps I might share an observation about women attracting men?
You wrote: “Anyway, back to how I feel about things. I’ll be honest, in the real world I don’t have the same ‘pull’ that I used to. Men don’t quite look at me the same, or look at me at all.”
Just about all women feel that at some point, they notice that the “magical spell” they have cast over men seems diminished. However my observation is that this paradigm applies to visual and unknown interactions. In other words a situation such as seeing a woman you don’t know on the street somewhere. In that context this is probably an accurate summation of reality.
However, there is another circumstance where the woman doesn’t really seem to lose any of that aura of attraction. I propose that for any given woman who is what our society considers even moderately attractive, she will NOT particularly taper off in attractiveness to men who ALREADY “know” her as the years go by. I have watched and it seems that the combination of physical allure and “feminine mystique” (Apologies to Betty Friedan) does not diminish at all. Another way to put it might be, most guys wont notice her at first glance, but those who are already attuned to her charms still receive the signal.
In regards to the fight against the effects of aging, it is probably true most guys don’t even consider the effort involved in the average woman’s “regime-routine”. It is probably also true that such an effort has now become a societal expectation, at least in some parts of society. I wont lie, I both like and appreciate the efforts and results. However it is kind of sad that some of the femmes I know wont go outside, let alone out in public, without “putting on their face”
I am glad you are still out there for us to follow. I wish some of the famous adult performers and dominant Ladies of the past were still around, even if just for interviews. In a case like mine, they were a big part of my coming of age, and a part of sort of a secret or suppressed life most did not understand or experience. It is easy for younger people not to know, but for the record a lot of those people paid for their ground-breaking performance and careers with cratered personal lives and wrecked marriages. Society has changed a lot since the days when one could be arrested for buying Dominant Mystique in a book store!
Thanks again for sharing with us.
Dear Mistress T. Happy Birthday! Sorry to say it, but I have a granddaughter almost your age. I hope you have great day & enjoy some cake. They say
age is all in your mind. Bullshit! I’m really beginning to feel my age. I’ve been shooting blanks since !974. Because of an operation on my Johnson last year, I’m now shooting dry! Me being with a beautiful young lady like you would be a joke. You’d probably kill me! Come to think of it, that would be a great way to go!
Again, enjoy your day!
I have enjoyed your work for a very long time. Mostly the ballbusting videos. I always love them. And it’s more than the fact that you are gorgeous and incredibly charming. That smile! . I think it’s also the psychology. I feel even you are beating men up, you are so sensitive and receptive to them. Maybe I am wrong but I find that very rare.
If your heart is still in it I think you have so much still to give to the industry. If it was for me I think you should keep kicking balls till you can! But at some point if you don’t feel like I will understand. But maybe you can become a producer/director. Make masterpieces with other talent who don’t have the experience or understand men like you do.
Hope you keep writing.
One of your many worshippers
I can only say that if that wonderful figure of yours is anything to go by, you have a long, long way to go before retirement to the Elysian Fields of post-porn beckons…
You are the most beautiful at any age Mistress T!
Mistress, T you are still the most beautiful at any age and you are always my favorite and you will always be my Mistress
My dear Mistress T: I don’t know how I reached the age of 57 without encountering you until just yesterday! You have my belated (but sincere) wishes that your birthday was as lovely as you are.
This is not meant as any kind of shill: I read your post and grinned when you mentioned your financial advisor. I am myself right now evaluating my assets and looking at early ‘retirement’. Few things will beat a trusted financial advisor, but if you haven’t seen it, take a peek at firecalc.com – The Usual Disclaimers, I’m just a user who thinks it is a unique and useful tool.
You may wish to delete this response (or simply not let it pass through moderation – that’s okay. I can’t help adding a final thought: you express some concern about “timing out” – I will submit to you that our tastes change as we become older and more experienced, and that men (and probably women) begin to place a higher value on things like character, experience, intelligence, and imagination. Consider the actress Jane Alexander, who is quite a bit older than you or I – but she’s still “got it”.
When it comes to aging in the adult industry you have nothing to worry about. You’re 41 and absolutely gorgeous, you have an amazing beautiful body and from what I’ve read here on your site you take excellent care of yourself. You eat a healthy diet with no sugar or fast food or any other junk, you exercise regularly do yoga and have plenty of great sex everything you need for longevity.
Beauty has no age limit, take Deaxuma for example she didn’t enter the business until she was 41 she’s 57 now she still looks amazing and she’s still in the adult industry. And then there’s Kitty Foxx she didn’t enter the business until really late in life at age 47 and she continued to perform up until her untimely death at age 64 and she was always a beautiful woman. I’d say at the very minimum you have another 20 years in the business, trust me don’t have to worry about retiring from the industry anytime soon. I’m a big fan of you’re work and I always look forward to new pics and vids I can wait for you’re book to come out.
Dear Mistress T,
One very wise (Canadian) writer wrote about getting old, here it is (i love it as i did when i turned 50 and, 10 years later, love it even more):
Men age like cheese while Women age like vine B)))
Trzi (yes, i am getting more and more like rotten cheese)
Your feminine voice and colorful monologue is ageless and, with your killer body, sets your work apart from any competition and will continue to do so for as long as you keep in shape and enjoy doing it. As most men age, they prefer the company of mature women and maturity is not a function of age. And a young male’s wet dream is an older woman seducing him…
Dear Mistress T,
Regarding aging, in my opinion women, particularly in relation to femdom and fetish, have little or nothing to fear from it.
I believe that Dommes really come into their own between 40 and 60. At that age they have both the experience and natural authority to be dominant without really trying. If you add in the fetish element, maturity simply adds to their appeal. There’s something about an older woman in leather, latex and heels that is just right. They have a certain indefinable quality that a younger, even objectively more attractive woman, can never possess.
You are exquisitely beautiful……..In fact, you are sexier now than you were as a young woman. And I have followed your videos for many years. Happy belated birthday!
I’m 20 and I think you’re hotter than any girl I know.