Aging In The Adult Industry

Mature Domme tip #107: You may not have the energy you had in your younger years. Keep a slave handy to use as a chair for when you need a little rest.

Mature Domme tip #107: You may not have the energy you had in your younger years. Keep a slave handy to use as a chair for when you need a little rest.

My birthday is tomorrow, Apr 29. I’ll be 41. So what’s it like aging in the adult industry?

Unlike the typical porn starlet, I was late to the biz. I started as a private dancer in a strip club when I was 28. The other gals where years younger except one & she didn’t really ‘dance’ for anyone. She had a few regulars who would pay her to sit & drink with them.

I dipped in & out of the adult industry for a few years & was about 32 by the time my fetish video business was full steam ahead. I started referring to myself as a MILF in the early days & added ‘mature’ soon after. The oldest among my peer group they sometimes refer to me as ‘Nana’ (& sometimes Mistress Goofball, but this isn’t a post about how hilarious I am.)

In a lot of survey’s, “MILF” is a very popular search term, often ranking higher than ‘teen’. Here’s some stats:


So in a world that in every other way tells you that as a women your value nose dives after 40 (or even after 35), I work in an industry where not only am I highly valued, there’s a lot less competition. I’ve even hammed up the older bit by wearing a grey wig & you’ll often see me in glasses, pearl necklaces, satin blouses or suites. For business, I’m not trying to pretend I’m younger, if anything, the opposite.

Silver fox:-)

Silver fox:-)

How many adult film performers are still in the biz after 40? A helleva lot less than those in their 20’s.

I have received some very generous offers from various big porn production companies who are desperate for MILF’s. I’m not really interested in working with other companies these days but since I find Virtual Reality fascinating you might see a VR fuck scene with me on HologirlsVR this year. My understanding is a key VR sex position requires me to straddle & ride a cock for several minutes & frankly, I’m not sure my knees will take it. ha ha

Yeah, I might need a helper to lift me up & down in this position. Sheesh.

Yeah, I might need a helper to lift me up & down in this position. Sheesh. (Find these scenes on

Anyway, back to how I feel about things. I’ll be honest, in the real world I don’t have the same ‘pull’ that I used to. Men don’t quite look at me the same, or look at me at all. Online though, things heat up more each year. Business is booming, sales numbers don’t lie, plus I get loads of messages from men of all ages desiring an older woman.

As if by cruel design though, with each passing year I become more settled, with less inclination to travel, with less energy to work, with less drive to work as hard as I did in the beginning. Finally achieving work-life balance I am no longer married to my work, I have a full & rich life outside of the biz. With an eye to the future I wonder when it will make sense to start to wind down the business. A recent meeting with my financial advisor, he posed the usual questions which were mathematical to him but personal to me: “How much longer do you think you’ll make this income? When will you need to start drawing on your investments? Etc.”

I really don’t know? My heart is still in it but when is the tipping point when I’m no longer a ‘hot MILF’ but I’ve gone ‘past my expiry date’? Of course I want to end on a high note & not drag things out to the point of embarrassment. I know I’m not near that yet but geez, ya know what I mean?

In writing this I did some research on Bettie Page. I thought that she had at one point decided to retire, maybe in her mid 30’s & had never let another photograph be taken of her. That she wanted to be remembered by her fans how she was. Unfortunately my research resulted in a less romantic explanation. She may have actually found religion. So I can’t draw any parallels here about Bettie Page feeling her age, etc. I’ll move on without Ms. Page.

Personally, I love getting older mentally. I wouldn’t want to go back to knowing less, having experienced less. Physically, I don’t think anyone is happy about aging. No one says: “Thank god my skin is starting to wrinkle! I’ve been waiting for this for too long!” The cosmetic industry is booming thanks to people fighting growing old tooth & nail. I’m not convinced there’s such a thing as growing old gracefully & there’s so few women in the public eye doing it naturally that most of us wouldn’t even know what it looks like anymore. I won’t stay on that topic as I know men would prefer to stay blissfully unaware of what women do to look good, while men often consider combing their hair as stepping up their game & trimming their nose hairs as ‘extreme grooming’. Ha ha

The book I’ve been writing is about my life. It’s been amazing working with my editor, going back through & discussing details of various chapters of my story. Seeing how events & experiences shaped who I am. Some pleasant, some not, but it all contributed. I hoped to have the book done in my 40th year & although that didn’t happen, the majority of the work on it happened in my 40th year & it will be done long before my 42nd.

Turning back toward aging in this industry…it’s amazing actually. In the real world as I start to become invisible…as I’m overlooked by more men, I am becoming more desirable to certain fans. Sure, being fetishized for being ‘older’ is somewhat objectifying, like being fetishized for being an Asian woman, a black man, a BBW, etc. but most people tend to be drawn to certain physical traits, I don’t really see anything wrong with that. We like what we like, & for men seeking a mature woman, their options are more limited in porn…& here I am. Experienced, still good lookin’ & not planning to make my exit anytime soon.

Oh…& in case you felt inclined to send me a treat for my birthday, here’s my updated wish lists:

Canadian wish list: Click here

US wish list: Click here


Mistress T

Members Site:





POV vs. Voyeur?

Do you prefer porn where you are passively watching the action like a voyeur or when you feel more directly involved?

I was just contemplating POV (point-of-view) style filming, where the performer looks directly at the camera lens, connecting with the viewer, sometimes speaking directly to the viewer. Like in ‘virtual fucking’ where I’m alone with the camera but the angles give the viewer the feeling I’m riding his cock or face…or when there’s a stunt cock in the scene but the camera angle is set up basically where his head is so the viewer feels like the cock in the vid is his…or the view from where a cuckold might be, or a slave inside a cage, etc.

From "Cum Drinking Cock Sucking Sissy"

From “Cum Drinking Cock Sucking Sissy”

From a POV virtual fucking scene "MILF Sex Ed"

From a POV virtual fucking scene “MILF Sex Ed”

From "Mindblowing Handjob"

From “Mindblowing Handjob”

From "Foot Worship POV"

From “Foot Worship POV”

From "Latex Gloves Ruined Twice"

From “Latex Gloves Ruined Twice”

From "Beg For Release"

From “Beg For Release”

I was thinking about this in relation to some of the virtual reality filming I’ve done recently with HologirlsVR ( Full virtual reality (with the goggles) is certainly more immersive but more on that another day.


I understand a lot of my viewers have had little or no sex…or little or no kinky/FemDom/fetish experiences. It can be hard enough for some guys to get laid at all but even harder in the real world for guys to get to live out their niche fantasies. I realize that watching my vids & imagining they are right there or they are the guy in the scene is as close as many of my fans will get to a real experience…be it a cuckold experience, or real humiliation experience, or even foot worship!

Watching my vids is a safe, discreet way to get their kink on & in some situations it’s probably better than the real thing. One could argue that the thrill & fulfillment from an in-person experience can’t be matched but one could counter argue that real life seldom lives up to expectations. It really depends. It’s a gamble.

It’s certainly a lot more cost effective to jerk off to a $10 vid than to spend hundreds on an in-person session with a Professional Dominatrix, although if you have the money that’s certainly a better option than spending hundred of hours trawling dating sites trying to find a woman who is into the same kinks, lives near by & with whom you get along with otherwise.

With this in mind I put in a lot of effort to genuinely connect to my viewer. I know that this experience might be the closest they ever get to living out their fantasies. I try to make it as real as possible.

I wonder how this is different from just watching the action in a porn vid where the performers don’t look at the camera & don’t address the viewer. It’s very rare for me to do a scene like this. Even if I’m doing a scene with a guy I usually address the viewer at some point, even if it’s just making eye contact with the camera lens, to let the viewer know I know he’s watching. They call that “breaking the 4th wall” in movie-making & theater. Deadpool does a lot of that & even points it out. (Side note: LOVED the movie Deadpool!).

But it can pull you out of the fantasy. It was certainly a no-no to look at the camera during most filming traditionally.

So, I wonder how ‘voyeur’ style porn vs. “POV” style porn effects the sexual development of men, young & older? Would POV style porn better prepare a guy for the real thing? I wonder how a guys body responds to POV vs. voyeur style scenes? For example, when I put the goggles on to view VR (virtual reality) scenes & I looked up to see a woman standing over me my body had a very noticeable physical reaction. My body did not know there wasn’t a real person there. I automatically reached up to touch her & it felt like I could.

The voyeur aspect of just watching people having sex or doing a FemDom scene, ignoring the camera certainly has its place too. That’s a style of viewing we’re certainly more used to. It’s how most TV shows, movies & traditional porn is presented.

From "Your Cuckolding Vid"

From “Your Cuckolding Vid”

From "Ball Abuse Ass Tease"

From “Ball Abuse Ass Tease”

I’m curious to hear your thoughts on this topic. Please share your feedback in the comments area here on my blog so others can see & respond community-style (not on twitter or email, that doesn’t make sense really. Thanks!)

Mistress T

Members site: