Reality has a rough way of fucking with fantasy.
I’ll assume that if you’re reading my blog you want to get to know ME more intimately, the women who is also ‘Mistress T’. If you prefer to live in a fantasy world where women wear only latex & get more aroused sticking metal rods down men’s urethra’s than watching Dirty Dancing than please stop reading now & just go buy my video’s.
For those still here let me share one of my personal pet peeves (my feelings do not necessarily reflect the feelings of all or any other Dommes).
I hate it when session slaves (in person or online) say they want me to do whatever I want. It’s up to me. They think avoiding naming any specific activity will make me like them better. This is not the case. It annoys the fuck out of me because now we begin a guessing game where I need to be crafty enough to figure out what it is they are really into without seeming like I care.
I have over 120 different fetishes listed on my site. The list of things I could do to someone that they would absolutely hate is guaranteed to be far longer than the list of things they’ll like or even be able to handle.
Here’s just a few examples:
-prolonged facesititng with jeans
-trampling in heels
-cock & ball torture
-tease & denial/ruined orgasm
You get the idea, right? Not every guy, no matter how submissive he likes to think he is, is going to be into anything I could do.
When I was a novice Domme I might have enjoyed a toy that I could practice new things on. The novelty of that has long worn off. I know that specific things turn guys on or off. Guess the wrong activity and try to jam it down their throat and the so-called submissive will soon let you know they’re not into it…and then it’s awkward.
It’s so much more efficient to just communicate clearly what you are into & what your hard limits are.
My go-to (smart-ass) answer these days if they say they’re into anything that will make me happy is:
“Great. You do the house work while I watch TV in my PJ’s and ignore you. Just leave the money on the counter.”
Funny enough, that never seems to be what they’re into. I guess it’s NOT all about me (the Goddess) after all? Shocker.
In case there are any PJ fetishists out there, here’s a pic of your Goddess on her throne in flannel PJ pants, comfy sweat socks & a t-shirt that says: “Little Miss Fun” cuz that pretty much sums me up, right? RIGHT? Don’t make me kick you in the balls. Your Goddess is always right. *rolling eyes*
If you’re still reading, you’ll be rewarded with a little behind-the-scenes story: The latex glove picture at the beginning of this blog entry? I filmed a hand job vid in that latex get up, sweating my ass off…then I turned the camera off, stripped down naked…took that ‘slave’ (one of my personal lovers) into the bedroom where he licked my pussy until his cock recovered…then fucked me exactly as I like to be fucked for hours. I love mixing a lot of pleasure with my business. *smile*
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Have you ever encountered that rare sub that was happy to do your dishes while you lounged in your PJs and sipped a cup of tea? I have never had the opportunity to serve a real Domme/Mistress, but have always wanted to experience, at least once, a total immersive experience into her will; to enjoy the mind fuck of having my “top from the bottom” perspective of Femdom turned on its heels. To spend the day cleaning grout in her washroom with the hope that I please her so much that she is uniquely pleased and rewards me with a generous sniff of her foot. Maybe that’s more silly fantasy from a man who has never known the touch of a true Dominant, but there you go anyway 🙂
The issue with ‘top from the bottom’ is that when you pay a Pro Domme or an online Domme you are in fact paying for a service & a Professional tends to feel a sense of obligation to give the customer value for their money, especially if she wants repeat business.
Unless a guy is paying for abuse, wants abuse & gets off on abuse then he’s not going to be into abuse. Same thing with being ignored, and so on. If a Domme doesn’t fulfill his fantasy he’s likely to feel ripped off, even if he didn’t tell her what he wanted and just hoped she would read his mind.
Wanting a ‘True Domme’ to do what she really wants is a load of shit 90% of the time. What this really means is that the sub wants her to do something that he’ll get off on. He hopes she comes up with the right thing.
I have experienced a few fans/slaves who were happy to just have my company, who didn’t care if I was all made up, if I was wearing sexy cloths or if we were doing a role play…but they still HOPED something more would happen.
Even that 10% of the time where it’s not a load of shit, where some really does just want to enjoy the experience and the exchange, it’s still possible to express what works and what doesn’t. Even in established relationships, where it really is an issue of her doing what she wants, we’ve established what we know works for us. And at the start of those relationships, I expressed the things I like, the things I’m neutral on, and the things that just don’t work for me. With that established, even if I do just want her to do what she feels like, I’ve at least given her a palate to paint from, instead of just presenting a blank canvas and expecting her to figure everything out.
Oddly enough, the scenes with some framework end up being so much more satisfying for both people than the ones where everyone’s fumbling in the dark.
I couldn’t agree more. In my experience, those subs who emphasise that should do “anything I enjoy” to them, are in fact the fussiest and have very clear expectations, but instead of wording them and communicating them, they expect me to be a psychic and somehow deliver their desires without having any kind of framework. Apparently, they don’t want to tell a domme what to do! Perfect recipe for a disaster. I imagine they then hop from one domme to another, wasting time and money in the process.
What I find most intriguing about your pet peeve is that many men complain that women expect men to “read minds.” Both genders express this as needing to be “understood” or something synonymous. I wonder if some portion of the men contacting you seek an “understanding” partner more than a “dominant” partner.
Yes, yes…sure…guys come to me to be an understanding partner or THERAPIST or ‘listener’ and that’s fine…but that’s not what this blog entry is about. This is about guys thinking they’re being a good slave by telling me I can do whatever I want, when really they want me to guess what it is they are really into. They feel that by asking for something they aren’t being submissive, when really, I prefer they just communicate clearly so I can plan a session that’s going to go smoothly.
ussually when a man says he’ll do anything what he means I want to lick your pussy. Never having the option to serve you MistressT. I would endure several activities to have the privilage to lick your pussy. filled not filled sweaty or not creamy or freshly bathe. but thats me.
Robert, I think you might be right. The complete sentence could be “anything you want… and then I hope I will get my reward for that”. It is a big mistake to go to a session with that idea.
Comfortface, you are giving Robert’s comment t a lot more credit than it’s due. Robert is just typing with one hand while jerking his penis with the other getting off on writing dirty things on my blog.
Hey Robert: Go buy & jerk off to my vids. Stop using my blog page as a place to be an exhibitionist wanker.
Omg I had this problem the other day with a filming slave ! It can be a regular theme with some what do they think they will gain ? I couldn’t agree more with this blog it is ridiculous that they think there going to get the best experience from there time with me or with any domme/mistress by saying do whatever you like with me ! I prefer tease and denial and my ultimate type of session/play is harsh and sadistic these types of play are my personal preference although I enjoy many other types of play that’s just my personal preference and private kinks, so beware going to a sadist and saying do whatever you want with no communication or very little communication and little or not enough information . You will get far more then you wanted or could handle ! I like to know my client and players enjoy what I do and that gives me a great satisfaction so it’s ridiculous when its spoiled by a lack of fore thought and it doesn’t take much imagination to pick a few kinks or fetish’s for me to work with !!
Thank you for another amazing blog Mistress T I always read them because I am a pervert *smiles* but most of all some are funny others are informative !
Mistress Madison Grace xxxx
Oh and I am many things but to name a few…… Such as Good at reading body language, approachable but strict and experienced plus talented in the chosen fields I play in but I am not I repeat I am not a mind reader !!
As a submissive male who has served several Mistress over the years, To say that I would do and accept anything that Mistress may desire is first of all disrespectful of the Mistress, It is not an honest answer to Her question. Second, as You have pointed out, I doubt that it is ever true. Most of the Mistress’s I have had the privilege of serving have required me to fill out an online survey to give me a chance to express my experience level with different fetishes and also my level of like or dislike. I have found that honesty in filling these out have helped make the experience better for both parties. I have One Mistress ask me to do some laundry for her during a session , which I very happily did. I felt like it was an very interesting command and I did it with pride.
Thanks so much for your insight on this matter. Respect and honesty should always be the word of the day when dealing with a Mistress, or any Woman for that matter
Not sure if this will get an answer, but I’ll give it a shot. Is there anyway to like mix and match some of the fetishes in a session? Like, for example, I like prolonged facesititng with jeans, but can there be included a ruined orgasm as well as verbal humiliation?
HELL YES! And THAT my dear, is exactly how you clearly communicate. Throw in some verbal humiliation hot buttons (small penis humiliation? name calling? insults about your physical appearance/love of Star Trek/Knight Rider/Polka music/etc.) or just leave it up to the Domme to verbally degrade you in whatever way she feels like… but let her know if there’s something you really DO NOT want to be insulted about. I’ve made fun of a guys small penis by accident before thinking that verbal humiliation was a free-for-all. Turns out he was really sensitive about that & he got really sad:-(
So yes, you can mix n’ match. Just tell the lady (or me) what you’re into & what your hard limits are. She’ll work within those boundaries, letting you know if there’s something she does not do, etc.
The thing with humiliation is its so varied and everyone is hugely different in what humiliates them because what is humiliating to one person isn’t humiliating to another, So as is key with most things when going to a mistress/domme/Lady communication and honesty is the place to start ! You must let the person your filming with or having a session with no your no go areas and hard limits and be totally honest about them there’s no point in lying and then the experience is ruined for both of you because you lied and couldn’t take what was given to you. Some submissive’s and slaves think they are being disrespectful by asking for certain things or think its topping from the bottom so to speak, but so long as you ask respectfully and are honest, I don’t think any Mistress would mind because you will both get the best from your time together. There is nothing better then mixing and matching kinks to mix it up a little it makes it varied and fun plus you really never know what’s going to happen next or which direction the session will go in I love it because the only limit to how much fun you can have is mistress’s imagination and how good she can create that particular fetish or fantasy!!
I think its lazy to not even try to express your likes and dislikes, especially when asked. I understand you are very comfortable with femdom because its your hobby and livelihood and that some men (myself included) might be intimidated or shy, etc. But I think I would at least try to tell you something about myself. I would probably stumble and sound foolish, but I would not say “do anything you want.” I would be offended if someone displayed such a lazy attitude in the work that I do. You should feel that way too because you worked hard to get where you are. You make it look easy, but I’m certain it takes a lot of work.
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Hello MistressT. I am a black dog slave boy and i have been jerking off to Ur videos for quit some time. And U seem to b getting younger,U look so good White Goddess. U r a Supreme Royal White Goddess to me and yes U can do all of those fetishes thats listed and more to me. I will take any and every torture whip kick stomp and bust to my big black cock and balls and ass for a chance to b tied helpless by U and b forced against my will to worship kiss sniff and clean UrRoyal White Ass Supreme White Goddess.. My cock and balls can take a brutal beating for U and i will drink it all White Goddess please please please.
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