Behind the scenes…

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Uh-oh…now I’ve got cum all over my hands…how am I going to turn the camera off?

Do you ever wonder what the story is with the guys I film with? Do you wonder what happens before & after the scene is filmed? Do you wonder what gets edited out?

I do pretty much all of my filming in Vancouver, Canada. In this city we don’t have a thriving porn production industry, which means we don’t have a roster of professional adult film performers to hire like in LA.

Every guy I film with has his own unique story. It’s never: “I hired him through his agent.”

Some of the guys have been my personal lovers who have been excited by the idea of performing in a porn scene. A few have been private clients. I’ve met guys thru the local fetish scene. Some have come through other Domme friends (we often share good male talent). Many have been fans who have emailed me asking if they can be in my vids (via the film slave application: http://blog.mistresst.net/fetish-focus/film-slave-application-updated/).

Mistress T kneeing a lucky slave in the nuts.

Nothing says “I love you” like a knee in the gonads…we’re not together “romantically” anymore but one of my ex’s & I still make great ball busting vids together…& he films with others.

Some guys only do one scene because they can’t perform ‘under pressure’ or they’re from out of town. Others stay longer, some for years & dozens of scenes. Some come & go depending on their travel schedule, relationship status or any number of reasons.

Here’s how it typically goes with most of my current film guys:

I have everything ready before he arrives, the set, lights, camera, my outfit, props, lube, etc. He comes in, we chat for a minute, I tell him what we’re going to be filming, he showers, we film it, then if he has time we sit down for a cup of tea or a glass of water & have a longer chat. I’m quite friendly with most of my film guys so I really enjoy the time to connect after the scene has wrapped.

It’s all very civilized really. I try to keep things very low-stress & enjoyable.

Note that it’s just the two of us (unless there’s three of us in the scene, like cuckolding). No camera operator or other people. I’ve been on larger production film sets with a ‘crew’ & I prefer the intimacy of just us. It means I do everything (moving the camera or lights around in the middle of a scene, for example) but that’s okay, I’m used to it.

What hits the editing room floor? (So to speak)

I do my own editing by the way…

The beginning of the scene that you don’t see is sometimes me staring into the lens trying to come up with a story line. It’s true, I don’t always know what I’m going to say even a moment before I film. Sometimes I’m waiting for the guys dick to get fully erect before I start the scene. Sometimes I’m greasing up my feet, ass, boobs or whatever with coconut oil. I might be giving last minute instructions to the guy, like keep his head down out of frame, try to not breath too heavy if he’s near the mic, etc. So I cut the first few minutes out usually.

In the middle of the scene I may cut out bad audio, like loud noises from outside, me running to get more lube, me clearing my throat, me tripping over a word & saying the line over again, me checking with the guy to make sure he’s okay…most often it’s me moving the camera & lighting around during the scene since there’s no one else to do it. Sometimes if the guy is taking a long time to cum I edit out a few minutes of me just stroking his dick.

At the end of the scene the parts I cut out are actually the parts I’d love to leave in. The funniest stuff happens then. The guy has cum, the scene is done & there’s splooge all over the place. Half the time I forget to plan for this (when will I learn?) & I’m awkwardly trying to turn the camera off with the one clean finger I have, or my nose or elbow. If I have slippery stuff on my feet & I didn’t plan ahead I’ll be cursing as I try to get to the bathroom without slipping, where I stand on one leg with my foot in the sink, cleaning up…the guy is laying there naked, covered in cum (they’ve received the same instruction every damn time: DON’T MOVE. I don’t want them dripping cum all over the place.) I get them a warm wet cloth to mop up with & sometimes that’s enough, sometimes they still want or need another shower.

Wow, cum everywhere! Oh no...

Wow, cum everywhere! Oh no…

Guess I'm hopping to the bathroom on one foot again...fuck.

Guess I’m hopping to the bathroom on one foot again…fuck.

There’s usually some laughs at this point, whether I’ve managed to get the camera turned off or not. I’ve dropped the sultry voice & whatever shtick I’ve been doing for the last 15 mins or so. I’m likely commenting on the size of the cum shot or scolding him for making such a big mess (in jest: “Why do you keep coming over here & shooting goo all over my place? You’re the worst house guest EVER. ha ha ha”) Often the conversation is happening while I’m trying to clean my hands up & get him a wet cloth while he’s laying there naked covered in cum, a captive audience to my (sometimes) clever, goofball remarks.

What a mess! These gloves were BRAND NEW. Tsk Tsk...

What a mess! These gloves were BRAND NEW. Tsk Tsk…

Sometimes I tease the guy for cumming to whatever fucked up story line I’d been using. “I can’t believe you came to me telling the viewer to suck your cock. Are you sure you’re straight? Maybe you’re not as straight as you think? ha ha ha” He’s literally a stunt cock & has to learn to cum no matter what I’m saying, even if it’s not his fetish or interest.

Mistress T with a cock

From “Cum Drinking Cock Sucking Sissy”

One time while I was editing I caught a guy flexing his arm like a macho-man in the mirror after I’d left the room & hadn’t turned the camera off yet. He was really shy which made it even more hilarious, out of character for him. I screen shot it & sent it to him. He was SO embarrassed. I still raz him about it.

I could go on & on. I really do have fun with my guys. They’re all so unique & interesting. It’s difficult at first, guys are nervous, I don’t know them well yet, so I prefer working with guys that can become regulars. The ongoing relationships I have with them means a lot to me, even when they don’t film with me anymore, the often stay in touch or come back to me months or years later.

So there’s a little peek into the behind the scenes world of my video production. The next time you watch one of my vids where the guy ejaculates & you come to the end, dealing with your own cum mess, know that I’m also cleaning up. Possibly while making goofy jokes, trying to turn my camera off with my elbow or hopping on one foot to the bathroom.

xo

Mistress T

Members Site: www.MistressT.net

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What I’m NOT into.

Mistress T of MistressT.net

Let’s have a frank chat…

I just tweeted asking for blog suggestions & someone requested ‘capnolagnia’ which I had to google. That’s the fancy term for smoking fetish.

I decided to do a post about what I’m personally not into or what I don’t do & why you won’t see me doing it in vids (even if I’ve done it in the past), cuz, what the heck.

Smoking Fetish: Growing up both of my parents smoked. It was the 80’s & it was more acceptable back then. They smoked in the house & they smoked in the car. I grew up smelling like an ashtray. In my early teens they decided to quit but my mother couldn’t do it. She continued to smoke behind my fathers back for months & I observed that bullshit right at the time a lot of my friends started smoking. I thought: “fuck that”. She never did quite & I’ve had a very negative visceral response to the smell of cigarette smoke my whole adult life. So you will never, ever see me smoking a cigarette or using a slave as an ashtray. I’ve done vids with other Dommes smoking & slaves being used as ashtrays but it’s really, really not my jam.

Shoe jobs/boot jobs: I was in a relationship with a guy for years who had this fetish. Not only did we film those shoe jobs but I also did many off cam, just for him. He used to take a long time to cum & my leg would cramp up from the repetitive motion. When we broke up I swore I’d never give another shoe job or boot job again…& I haven’t.

Enema’s: In my early days as a Pro Domme I did a few sessions where I administered enemas to clients. I can sort of get my head around the fetish from the clients perspective but from the Dommes point of view I don’t really get it. It’s smelly & strange. No judgement of those into this but it hasn’t been presented to me in a way yet that appeals to me.

Adult Baby: I know this is a very popular fetish & although I get the ‘nurturing’ part of it I’m not comfortable having a guy pretend to breast feed on me & the whole diaper thing really puts me off. I associate it more with incontinence in the elderly or disabled than a baby. I’ve never been around babies so I don’t have a lot of personal experience to draw on. Even the idea of doing a POV vid (just me talking to the camera) makes me uncomfortable. Sure, part of it is the idea of doing anything sexual with a baby gives me the heebie-jeebies but I understand that’s not really what the fetish is about. Not meaning to insult those who are into it, I know the psychology is complex for this one, it just into my thing.

Pony Riding/Asshole Licking: This one is deeply personal. Long-time followers will know that I did dozens (hundreds?) of these vids for Club Stiletto in the past. Often with the same slave, known as Gaspman. He was a strong pony & I felt very comfortable doing facesitting/asshole worship scenes with him. He was a true gentleman & a very, very close friend. He passed away last year after a long, brave battle with cancer. It was extremely hard on me. Filming with Club Stiletto or doing similar scenes is just too raw for me. I’m not sure if I’ll ever do them again.

Scat: It’s illegal & despite me dabbling in it in the past I have not had anything to do with it for years (beyond the occasional ‘toilet talk’ scene which still sells disturbingly well). This fetish seemed to bring the nuttiest, most relentless & annoying type of fan. Spoiler alert: I’m not into it. Sorry to burst your bubble, I know I’m a convincing actress & I’ve created some fantastic vids for scat fetishists but please stop emailing me graphic emails, I don’t want to read them. I mute or block guys who tweet me about shit/scat so just don’t. Go find a Domme who currently advertises that she caters to that fetish. Go.

Giantess: I used to love this fetish. The vids were fun to create, but 2 things happened: 1. Piracy. The market for Giantess is small so they ban together to share content really effectively. 1 guy buys the vid & shares it with hundreds of others which means that I don’t make enough money off the vid. 2. The payment processor for my members site decided that me swallowing or stomping on the little fella in those scenes was too close to fantasy snuff & asked me to remove them. Bizarre but fuck it. So I don’t film them anymore. I would still consider it as a well-paid custom vid that I just put on my clips store (not my site) so if you miss my Giantess scenes & want to order a custom just email me.

Peddle pumping: Just no.

Cum on my face or cum in my mouth: Unless it’s by accident I don’t aim that hose at my face. Splooge stings the eyes, messes up the make-up & hair…& it’s a degrading act, in my opinion. I also HATE the taste of cum. Once in a blue moon I’ll shoot it on my tits, it’s not big deal…but not my face, not on purpose anyway.

This is feeling like a really negative post so I’ll wrap up the “don’t do’s” & remind you of some of the things I love & that I’m good at:

  • Cuckolding
  • Encouraged Bi
  • Strap-on
  • Orgasm control/edging/hand jobs
  • Humiliation
  • Ass Worship (just not so much specifically tongue on asshole these days)
  • Ballbusting
  • Adult Son/Mom fantasies (very different from Adult Baby)
  • Chastity
  • Foot Worship

xo

Mistress T

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Book update…

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Some of you know that I took a few months off last winter to start writing a book. I went to Thailand & made quite a lot of progress before my trip was cut short & I needed to return to Nova Scotia due to a death in the family.

I still had some time to write back in Vancouver before I got back to filming & editing but after that my writing got stalled. I thought I could work & write but it didn’t turn out that way. Months went by & I didn’t write a word. So I pushed to build up enough content so I could take a few months off from filming & editing again.

I’m about half way through my second & current break & I’m pleased to say that I’ve been writing like a mother fucker! I’ve made huge progress & am in the last end of the first draft of my book. There’s still a lot of work to be done before you will have an opportunity to read my book but the hardest part is nearly done.

The book is a ‘fiction’ based very closely on my life. VERY closely. It tells the story of the making of Mistress T from the beginning, from before I was even born actually. All the ingredients that went into the final product. Those with interests in psychology will likely find lots to think about. I wanted to have the freedom to embellish or omit things here & there as well as add a bit of creative writing (completely fabricate some parts) so I decided to not make it an autobiography…but again, the vast majority of the story is 100% true.

Now that it’s nearing the end my excitement is really building. I decided to write this book for me, to process some of the things that happened to me in earlier life & understand how they contributed, for better or worse, to the adult I am. I saw writing as a kind of therapy. Now that it is taking shape & I’ve spoken to a handful of experts, it’s possible that this book could become quite successful…which would be a nice bonus.

I’ll soon hire an editor & others to help move through the next steps. I’ll likely self publish but will still need a team of professionals to assist with the process, a designer, a good marketing company, a studio to record an audio book, etc. I am starting to look for the right people & companies so if you have recommendations please send them my way. (I am looking for those top in their field & I have a budget for it.)

Though I should have enough content to get me through I want a bit more of a cushion so I will be doing a couple days of filming in the next couple weeks. This will be the only opportunity in the next couple of months to have a custom vid created by me, so if you have a custom vid request email it ASAP to: MsT@MistressT.net

Thanks to everyone for their support & encouragement! xo

Mistress T

Members site: http://www.MistressT.net
PPV: http://www.clips4sale.com/23869
Blog: http://www.MistressT.net/blog/
Twitter: https://twitter.com/MistressTdotnet

Who am I?

MistressT_casual_hotel_bed_face

This blog was set up for you to get to know me more intimately…& on twitter recently I invited fans to ask me questions that I would answer on my blog. It seems there is a lot of interest in learning more about me, the woman behind Mistress T. So here’s a bunch of random stuff, using your questions as a guide.

What are you passionate about? I am a feminist, vegetarian, animal-lover, atheist. I’m passionate about human-rights issues & equality. I’m anti-discrimination, I have ZERO tolerance for racism, homophobia, sexism, etc. I’m concerned about environmental issues & do what I can to reduce my impact.

How do you stay in shape? I’m blessed with good genes but I also eat very carefully (no meat, very little sugar, deep fried foods or processed foods, easy on the carbs, etc.) I do yoga, recently started doing aqua-fit & I walk a lot.

Trump or Hillary? I’m Canadian so can’t vote in the US election but I would NOT vote for Trump because he would be a disastrous choice no matter how you look at it. Period.

Would you be submissive? I’ve often been asked if I would ever consider “switching” & trying being submissive. If you read my blog from the beginning there is a part where I talk about dabbling as a submissive in my early days in fetish, at parties, way before I got into private sessions or video. I loved the exhibitionism but submitting wasn’t my jam. I hate pain & getting Dominated just makes me angry. I’m naturally Dominant but I don’t need to actually be Dominant all the time. I’m actually just as happy to be equal with someone. But if you’re hoping to see me in a scene where I’m being spanked, tied up, Dominated: forget it. It will never happen.

Along those lines, it is unlikely you’ll see me in scenes with big production companies like “Blacked”, etc. Going from filming my own scenes for years & working with companies like The English Mansion & Club Stiletto where it’s very much a collaboration & I’m still very much in control, the idea of just being a performer who is directed to do sexual acts with someone I possibly haven’t even met before…doesn’t hold much appeal.

I know some fans crave to see me in certain situations, some would love to see me take a load of cum on my face, get fucked by several well-hung black guys, get fucked in the ass, be Dominated, etc. But my body: my choice. I decide.

Biggest joy and biggest frustration about what you do? Biggest joy: I love being creative & performing. I always have. I was in every school & church play when I was growing up. Biggest frustration: Email. Just reading my email often puts me in a bad mood. It’s a never-ending shit river of time-wasting annoyance. Reading ‘complimentary’ emails from guys who openly state they only watch my vids on free-sharing sites (so have never paid) but just have to waste my time telling me that I’m ‘the best’ to guys sending requests for sessions in random places all over the globe. Of course, it’s worse than you could imagine. I have to read it all to get to the few emails that need my attention, like custom vid requests, actually worthwhile film slave applicants, the rare session I decide to take, etc. Doesn’t sound like a big deal? Many peers I’ve met says the same thing. Dealing with emails in this biz is amazingly frustrating & over time is wears on you.

How did your family react when you told them or they found out you’re in the porn biz? I get this question a lot & have addressed it at least a couple times in my blog but again: not a big deal in my case. I was about 30 when I changed careers from sales & marketing in the vanilla world to the adult industry. I had already lived away from my family for 9 years, had invested in real estate, traveled the world & demonstrated I was able to make smart decisions for myself. They didn’t worry about me. As long as I was healthy & happy they didn’t judge. Which leads me to the other question I get a lot…

What will you do AFTER porn??? As the years go by I get this question more & more. I am 40 now & have been in the adult industry for a decade so I understand why some folks are checking my expiry date & exit strategy. There is a cliche about women in the porn industry being reckless with their money & having expensive habits (drinking, drugs, gambling, leech boyfriends, etc.). We’re not all like that. In fact, most of my peers are careful with their finances. In my case, I started investing in my retirement in my early 20’s, I invested in real estate before I turned 30. Financial security has always been a priority for me & I’ve been smart and lucky. When I am done with porn I’m not sure what I’ll do but I’m not worried. I’ll still want to keep busy & productive. I’ll have transferable skills & will find something I enjoy. At this time I’m trying to get a book written & I’ve started the free T-Time Sex Ed series. My future might include more writing, education, speaking engagements, advice columnist, performing in some other way, something that helps people, animals or the environment…money won’t be the main motivator so I’ll have the freedom to do what I enjoy with less concern about finances.

How can a slave make himself worthy? A lot of fans want to serve me, interact with me in some way, online or in person. The charitable part of me wants to give every guy what he so badly wants. But the part of me that’s in charge of self-care knows that I don’t have the energy to give that much of myself. I work toward work-life balance & that means turning down 90% of the requests I get for online or in person one-on-one interactions with fans. The few that earn my attention pay generously & have excellent manners.

Are you religious? Favorite flavor? Favorite fiction book? Do you ever wear granny panties? Ever played video games? Atheist. Good dark chocolate with lavender. Fresh sun-warm berries or cherries just picked. A nice cup of Jasmine Green Tea. To name a few. Recent favorite speculative fiction: Margaret Atwoods MaddAddam Trilogy. I don’t wear any panties. Ever (except as part of a sexy outfit for filming or fetish/sex parties). I pretty much live in yoga pants/leggings, sometimes flannel pj’s. When I was a teen I played tetris at the arcade & Super Mario at a friends house. Pong a bit as a kid. That was pretty much it.

What do You think of the friend Zone? What do You think of “nice guy syndrome”? Thank You Mistress I think the world needs more guys who are genuinely kind, respectful & thoughtful. Some girls might get a thrill out of bad boys but emotionally mature women, especially those who have had enough of getting treated like shit by bad boys, will one day appreciate a nice guy. Life is not all about getting laid. If you’re angry because girls won’t fuck you, than you’re probably not really a nice guy. Girls don’t owe guys sex. Having real friends & a sense of community is more meaningful than one-night stands. If you really want meaningless sex pay for an escort or go on Tinder to get your fix. I think if your biggest complaint is the too many girls want you to be their friend but don’t want to fuck you than you should consider yourself pretty lucky in life. Think about it. If a real romantic relationship that includes sex is what you’re after try looking for women who you have things in common with & accept those friendships while being open to them developing into more, without expectation. All kinds of different people find partners, you can too, but in the mean time be good to yourself & appreciate what you already have.

That’s it for today! Feel free to submit more questions in the comments area below & maybe I’ll do a follow-up post.

xo

Mistress T

Members site: http://www.MistressT.net
PPV: http://www.clips4sale.com/23869
Blog: http://www.MistressT.net/blog/
Twitter: https://twitter.com/MistressTdotnet

My birthday is coming up!

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Why on earth would I be announcing my birthday? Presents, of course! I’m not really into Financial Domination but I’m not going to pass up an opportunity to get presents, gifts, offerings, goodies, treats, etc. Who doesn’t like getting presents?! *grin*

My birthday is April 29th & it’s the big 4-0 for me this time. I know, I look fantastic for my age & I feel fantastic too. Healthy diet, yoga, lots of walking, great sex, keeping things low stress, getting decent sleep…always striving for balance.

I have big plans for this year. Rather than celebrating with a birthday dinner or party I’ve made a list of “40 awesome things to do in my 40th year”…so that I mark this milestone year with a lot of memorable & meaningful things. The list contains some obvious activities like skydiving & paragliding but also things like “helping a young woman reach a goal”, volunteering & a minimum of 12 random acts of kindness. I included “finish my book” so for those wondering when my book will be done…I’m hoping by this time next year.

If you would like to “gift” me one of the awesome things on my list here are some examples of things you could contribute to:

– Kayak with whales (kayaking excursion in Tofino)

– Tickets for a local theater performance

– Tickets for the symphony: http://www.vancouversymphony.ca/concerts/

– Adrenaline activities: “escape room” game / paintball / zip line / skydive / para-glide

Gift certificates for my favorite spa are ALWAYS appreciated: http://www.mirajhammam.com/gift-certificates/ (Just give them my email address, they know who I am, it’s fine: MsT@MistressT.net)

Amazon.com gift cards are always a wonderful choice (to this email address): MsT@MistressT.net

Here’s my Amazon Wish List: http://www.amazon.com/registry/wishlist/LYLSUGVVJA6W/ref=cm_sw_r_tw_ws_p9jbxb0WKY55P

If you would like to take me to the symphony, theater, out for dinner, etc. There is an additional tribute required for my company in public. Please inquire via email.

Thanks in advance for all spoiling! *smile*

xo

Mistress T

Members site: http://www.MistressT.net
PPV: http://www.clips4sale.com/23869
Blog: http://www.MistressT.net/blog/
Twitter: https://twitter.com/MistressTdotnet

Booking filming spring/summer 2016

Mistress T glove and fur

Cum here.

I’m starting to resurface after taking some time off to write and to deal with the loss of a family member. Thank you to those who offered your condolences and thank you to those who respectfully gave me space.

I’m excited about starting filming again! I’ll now accept applications for those wanting to film with me in April and beyond.

At this time it is unlikely I will accept private sessions or distance slaves as I’m still writing my book. I’m returning to work part time. I might make an exception in the right circumstances (a VERY generous offer from a well-mannered, interesting, easy-to-deal with client).

#1 requirement to apply to film with me: you MUST be in Vancouver as I am not traveling anywhere for the foreseeable future.

Again: filming in Vancouver ONLY.

To be extra clear: if you are not in Vancouver do not email me about filming.

Got it? Good.

#2. You must send a $100 deposit for me to review your application. What? Yes, you have to pay me to even consider you. Why? Because I have more duds than I do viable applicants and I have enough regular film slaves that I don’t really need new ones. So you have to prove you are worth my time.

3 options for tributing:
1. Online E-Transfer to this email address (from any major Canadian bank): MsT@MistressT.net
2. Tribute button on my clips store: http://www.clips4sale.com/23869
3. Gift card for my favorite spa. You can buy online with paypal or go in & pay cash in person. Ask them to email the gift card to MsT@MistressT.net. They are used to it as a lot of fans send me gift cards from there.: http://www.mirajhammam.com/gift-certificates/

#3. You must email at least 1 clear nude torso pic with erect penis. I prefer average to fit guys with less body hair and bigger dicks. If you don’t look like that you may not want to apply but you are welcome to. If you send $100 I will seriously try to find some way to film with you. The only time it’s okay to send me a ‘dick pic’ is when you’ve paid me $100 to look at it…but please try to get more than your dick in the pic. Standing in front of a mirror works. I don’t need your face in the pic or in the vid. The headless are welcome to apply:-) Email pics AFTER you’ve sent the deposit: MsT@MistressT.net

#4. Tell me what you’re into. List what activities you’re into or how you think you could be used in MY vids. I use stunt cocks, if you just want to lay there & get jerked off, say that. If you can take a big strap-on in your ass, let me know. If you’ll suck cock or would let a guy suck you, tell me. If you’re a fan of my vids you know what kind of scenes I film & where you might fit into the mix.

NOTE: I am NOT filming any toilet stuff. I will not allow oral worship, do nude facesitting or have intercourse with strangers. If you film with me for awhile & I want to do those things with you we’ll discuss it if we reach that comfort level that but do not expect any of that in the beginning.

I think that covers it. $100 gets my attention. Applications without it will be ignored:-)

xo

Mistress T

Members site: http://www.MistressT.net
PPV: http://www.clips4sale.com/23869
Blog: http://www.MistressT.net/blog/
Twitter: https://twitter.com/MistressTdotnet

Oh, the intrigue!

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I recently received an email from a mysterious admirer. He explained that he had been a fan for years & with little notice found himself in Vancouver for a couple of days. He asked if I would join him for breakfast the next day at the restaurant at his hotel. He explained that discretion was paramount. He had created that email address for this one use & it would not be checked so if I was able to come just arrive at 11am & tell the hostess I was meeting a gentleman. If I was not able to join him he understood.

He also offered a generous ‘honorarium’ for the pleasure of my company & made it clear that he was only interested in conversation.

Naturally, I was intrigued.

I arrived at the opulent hotel, went to the restaurant, told the hostess I was meeting a gentleman, she said she was expecting me & guided me to a concealed booth tucked away in the back.

It was all so very cliche, it made me laugh.

I found myself sitting across from a man most of you would likely know. Awestruck, I tried to stay composed. I understand too well how uncomfortable fame can be. He was disarming, charming, a perfect gentleman. I soon forgot who I thought he was & got to know who he really is. He had been reading my blog for years & was more of a fan of that than my vids. He confessed that he really wasn’t into most of what I create. We talked about what he did like & more about what he didn’t understand. Why some men are into some of the more extreme things that I do. We talked about politics, he was amused at how passionate I am about Canadian & American politics…we talked about charities & he expressed his amazement at my Kiva micro-loan (for free porn) idea.

He told me that he has long had an interest in fetish literature & that the main reason he wanted to meet me was to encourage me to write a book. He felt that I had the skill & the experience to produce something so much better than the insulting rubbish of 50 Shades of Grey.

It was a wonderful meeting, one I’ll never forget.

With Canadian Thanksgiving just this past weekend I’d like to express my gratitude for my awesome life. For having the opportunities to meet very interesting people & have fascinating conversations. For having a business that gives me the flexibility to live my life however I want. I am grateful for the special people in my life, for my health, for living in a safe, clean place.

I am grateful to all of my supportive fans. You are a huge part of what makes my life awesome. Thank you.

xo

Mistress T

Members site: http://www.MistressT.net
PPV: http://www.clips4sale.com/23869
Blog: http://www.MistressT.net/blog/
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Questions for a university psychology course.

office_boss_lady_white_suit_Mistresst

A psychologist has asked me questions for a university course he’s teaching. I thought some of my fans might be interested in the answers so am making a blog post out of it.

Questions:
1. How do you see domination fitting into normal human sexuality?

There is a wide spectrum of Domination in sexuality, from a subtle power exchange of one person initiating or being on top in a sexual position, to light bondage, role play, or harder impact play, spanking, paddling, etc. The specific activities aside, I think people often experience at least a subtle sense of being more submissive or more Dominant in a sexual encounter. That can be thrilling. To either be pursued & ‘taken’ enthusiastically or to be the one with more control in the situation. The spirit of that can make sex more exciting, even if in your own head you feel it without telling the other person, to use your imagination & pretend you are submitting or Dominating. For example, without thinking of “Domination” I’m sure a lot of women enjoy being on the bottom in the missionary position, which is in a sense, a submissive position.
2. What about you makes you popular with the men who are your fans? Are these things common to or possible in all dominant people (or people being dominant), or are they particular to you?

For me specifically there is a confidence that my fans seem to be drawn to. Confidence seems to go hand in hand with Dominance so I feel that quality is common in most or all Dominant people. I’d like to say that being perceptive/empathetic & intelligent are also valued by my fans but wouldn’t say those things are necessarily common to all Dominant people. Human sexuality is complex. Dominant people are just people who enjoy being in control. There are as many different types of Dominant people as there are fans or submissives with different tastes & interests.
3. How is what you do healthy for a person’s sexuality – yours or the sexuality of the fans?

This is a highly individual answer but I’ll answer with some examples. Some of my fans have secret fetishes that they do not feel comfortable sharing with their wives. Maybe they like to dress up in women’s lingerie or they have a foot fetish. Maybe their fetish developed after they were married and their wife just wouldn’t be understanding about it. Maybe they don’t even have sex anymore so she especially wouldn’t be interested in indulging his sexual interest. By watching my vids he gets an outlet. He gets to indulge in his fetish without cheating on his wife, or asking her to do something she’s not comfortable with. Maybe he doesn’t get to play out his fantasies exactly as he’d like to but he at least gets to let the pressure off. Have a little harmless fun.

Another example: Some of my fans are in control at work & home. The have a lot of responsibility/pressure/stress. Someone else being in control for even a few minutes is like a weight being lifted off of them. A mini-mental vacation. They can watch a 10 minute “masturbation instruction” vid where I tell them to stroke & ejaculate on command, maybe with a count down, like it’s a game and they are happy to just take orders from someone else for a little while. To escape their normal lives. After that they are refreshed, more relaxed & able to return to their normal lives a little lighter. It helps them be better boss’s, better parents, husbands, etc.

Yet another example: Sometimes my vids help men to be better lovers. Men with premature ejaculation issues can learn orgasm control through my vids.
4. Is there a line that you see where domination crosses into something unhealthy? If so, how would you describe where this could become unhealthy?

In extreme situations Domination could be associated with non-consensual sex, verbal or physical abuse/violence. There are people with mental health issues who Dominate in unhealthy ways…but mentally healthy people who enjoy incorporating Dom/sub play into their sex life usually have no desire to harm their partners beyond their limits. It’s important to learn to play safely, to respect boundaries, etc. The vast majority of people who engage in mild to wild Domination play do so in a healthy way, whether solo (masturbating to vids) or with partners. Even porn addiction isn’t that different from Netflix binging, Facebook or other social media addiction, video games, etc. Sexual pleasure is healthy, mentally & physically. However you find that pleasure among consenting adults is ALL GOOD.

(A side note about porn addiction: In mainstream porn young men can get the wrong idea about what real sex is like & essentially ‘train’ themselves to only be able to get hard & cum from this kind of stimulation. I don’t feel like Domination porn quite has the same effect but it’s possible that if a young man only ever masturbated to porn of women Dominating men he may have a difficult time adjusting to real life sex with a woman who is not Dominant. This would be more of an extreme situation. Ideally, watching porn would expose a person to a variety of scenarios & actually educate them, stimulate their creativity & help them to feel more comfortable with their sexuality.)
5. Is domination something that is consistent with your general personality (as your friends and loved ones in life have known you), or is it very different from the way you are in life on a day-to-day basis?

Mistress T is a persona…but is certainly close to who I am off screen. I have always been a naturally confident, self-assured person who likes to be in control. Not to the point of arrogance, bullying or an inability to allow someone else to take the lead. Day-to-day I am pretty relaxed & goofy.
6. Do you think that domination (or submission) is something that every person should try out, or is it an interest that only some people would probably have an interest in?

I think every person who feels like trying it, should. That doesn’t mean it’s for everyone. Most people, if they were very honest, would know instinctively whether they feel drawn to or curious about Dominating or submitting.  Some simply have no interest & that’s fine. As I said before, human sexuality is very complex. If every person you know could anonymously let you know what their sexual fantasies are I bet you would be hard pressed to figure out what ‘normal’ is. There is no so such thing. If we all wore t-shirts with our sexual fantasies written on them it would not be long before we all became more accepting & less shocked but what we think is ‘taboo’ or abnormal.
7. We have a wide range of students with a wide range of belief systems, from atheist to conservative Christian. Do you have a message to share with university students who are strongly Christian that may help them to approach, learn, and think about domination instead of just throwing it out and labeling it as immoral or wrong?

Do Christians think that Domination is immoral or wrong? Gosh, I didn’t realize. Do you mean they think God will judge them & they won’t get into heaven? I suppose if someone thinks sex is only for reproduction & not enjoyment then anything like this is going to be too far of a leap. Sorry, otherwise I just don’t quite understand how religion plays into this? I realize my moral compass might be a little fluid after all the years of depravity I’ve engaged in…but my opinion is that what happens between consenting adults in privacy is their business. If it feels good, do it. The world needs happy people & sexually satisfied people tend to be less stressed & in a better position to do Gods work/helping your fellow man, etc.

Satan is RIGHT behind me...isn't he?! He's already stolen my nose, I can feel it! So why am I still smiling?

Satan is RIGHT behind me…isn’t he?! He’s already stolen my nose, I can feel it! So why am I still smiling?

A note about Domination & sexuality. The book & movie 50 Shades of Grey started a lot of discussions about Domination. Those who are informed on Domination often criticize it for portraying things incorrectly. Some consider the scenario’s to be closer to abuse than safe, consensual Domination. Criticism aside it did put a spotlight on the undeniable fact that many people, especially women are curious or interested in Domination, kinky sex, BDSM, bondage, fetishes, role-play, etc. The internet has opened up the world of kink to those who may not have had access to information before. People are curious, they are asking questions, exploring & becoming more accepting. Those who judge & condemn other people for their sexual preferences are rightfully becoming the endangered species. Each of us has to live our own lives & we owe it to our 80 year old future selves to make the best of the years and not saddle ourselves with “what if’s”, “should have’s” & regrets. Be true to yourself.

Best,
Mistress T

Members site: http://www.MistressT.net
PPV: http://www.clips4sale.com/23869
Blog: http://www.MistressT.net/blog
Twitter: https://twitter.com/MistressTdotnet

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Meeting fans in real life.

"Tell me more..."

“Tell me more…”

I was recently contacted by a fan who had been reading my blog for years & wanted to meet me in person but not for a session, just to talk. He valued my time so offered a respectable tribute. I love meeting fans in this way. I often use them as “muses” when filming vids as they usually represent the typical guy who watches my vids.

I arrived at the cafe a few minutes early, did a scan for him. I didn’t know what he looked like yet so I was at a slight disadvantage. No one seemed to get an instant boner or looked flushed so I got my tea & sat down. He approached me a moment later, shy but with a friendly face. It put me at ease.

We made small talk and I soon discovered that he had lived an interesting life as a real cuckold. His story fascinated me. He had met his wife in university & knew of her reputation for being promiscuous & cheating on her boyfriends. That didn’t deter him, it actually attracted him to her. He didn’t struggle with it even at a young age. He accepted that as a part of his sexuality.

He was turned on thinking about her being with other men...lots of other men...

He was turned on thinking about her being with other men…lots of other men…

They dated and quickly fell into a serious relationship. In many ways they had a normal, happy relationship. They even had a decent sex life but he knew she had a wild side & suspected she was straying. Eventually she stopped even attempting to keep her dalliances a secret as he never made a fuss about things she was sloppy about covering up. Their communication got better & she would tell him about her affairs, sharing details, even include him in different ways. He loved going down on her & occasionally having intercourse with her after she had been with someone else.

She developed a taste for black men & had a several black lovers. Eventually there was less & less intercourse between she & her cuckolded husband but their relationship was still good. The cuckolding was hot for both of them. He loved the idea of her getting satisfied by black men and developed a ‘fetish’ for black bulls along with her.

Black bulls & cuckolding go together like peas & carrots...

Black bulls & cuckolding go together like peas & carrots…

I know. This all sounds cliche & made up. He could have been lying to me but I believed him. I cross examined him & dug for more details. How he felt about this or that, etc. He simply gave me the facts.

This relationship lasted for quite a few years & eventually their marriage ended but he assured me that the reasons for divorce had nothing to do with the cuckolding part of their life.

I asked him what he was looking for from me and he replied that he wasn’t sure. He had taken a break from porn, sex & all fetish activities after the divorce for quite awhile. He had only been reading my blog. He felt connected to me in a cerebral way & simply wanted to connect with me in real life, with no expectations or plans. Just a chat. Just for the heck of it. When I asked how he felt about me writing about him in my blog he said he would find it thrilling. So here it is. What will happen next?

On the topic of meeting fans in real life I recently met with another fan & our encounter was interesting in a whole different way. He & I had done a cam session first. He was into humiliation so I verbally humiliated him while he did humiliating things like dressing up in women’s cloths, sucked a dildo, etc. He excitedly explained what a loser he was trying to get me to laugh at him. The laughing was what turned him on. He explained that he was still a virgin in his mid 20’s, that he fantasized about sucking cock all the time, etc.

Cam session antics...

Cam session antics…

The cam session went so well he requested a private session. I suggested we go for a bite to eat first to get acquainted in person. Over breakfast things took an unexpected turn. As he shared more & more details about his pathetic life I saw that this went beyond fantasy. This guy really needed to make some serious changes. That he was on a downward trajectory and I just couldn’t be a part of that.

I made it clear that his fetish for being humiliated was perfectly fine within the parameters of a fantasy but that outside of that he needed to not be a loser. I won’t go into details on specifically what changes I advised him to make but broadly they were pertaining to physical health as well as emotional health. Our meeting was a real boner-killer for him. He cried at one point. But not in the hot, humiliating way. The way you cry when you’re touched by someone’s kindness. Pretty much the last thing he expected or wanted to pay for but for christ sake, I have a conscience. I couldn’t take his money when I felt like I could make a positive difference in his life. He has written since that he is implementing some of the changes I recommended & he’s grateful for my help. Time will tell. I plan to keep tabs on him as I’m curious to see if I really did help or not.

A lot of people have fantasies & fetishes that they explore & play with in a healthy way. You can be a groveling, boot licking, piss drinking, cock sucking sissy bitch and ALSO be a strong, balanced, healthy, person with high self esteem. You don’t have to be a fucking loser 24/7. You don’t have to choose one or the other. Have your damn cake & eat it too.

Which brings me full circle to the first guy in this blog post. He had balanced a very normal & healthy life with his kink. Sure, he admitted he had had periods of slight obsession, where he indulged a little too heavily in cuckolding porn, no one is perfect…but he was otherwise very self-aware, emotionally healthy & “normal”.

Take care of yourselves, eh.

Cheers,

Mistress T

Members site: http://www.MistressT.net
PPV: http://www.clips4sale.com/23869
Blog: http://www.MistressT.net/blog/
Twitter: https://twitter.com/MistressTdotnet

The Art of the “Tribute”.

I am not an expert on Financial Domination. Not even close. This post isn’t about FinDom either…to be clear…it’s just my thoughts on “tributes” and some of my recent experiences.

Lots of gifts from my Amazon Wish List!

Lots of gifts from my Amazon Wish List!

A rose by any other name would smell as sweet…a tribute is basically a gift. It’s called a tribute in the FemDom world based on your worship of “The Goddess”…but it’s basically a gift…and it often feels just as good to give a gift as it does to receive it.

A gift is not normally exchanged for something. You don’t give a birthday gift to someone you love expecting something in return. You may well get something in return but it isn’t like paying for a thing or a service. It isn’t a barter.

I have a fan who takes care of my tea needs. How it all came about now doesn’t matter but on an ongoing basis he checks in to see how my tea supply is & when I’m running low he mails me my favorite tea. I drink green tea pretty much constantly when I’m at home & I often think of him when I’m enjoying that tea.

I love tea!

I love tea!

By doing something sweet, simple & thoughtful he remains top of mind. Because of that he was contacted directly recently when I was passing through his part of the world & we met up for a session & dinner. There are very few fans who would have that opportunity.

I have another fan who is always looking for thoughtful ways to tribute me. He has sent me books & movies that I have shown interest in. He has provided unique insight into topics I’ve been curious about. He always sends thoughtful, generous gifts for my birthday. He is always thinking of me & I know it. He is one of the only ones who gets random emails from me just chatting about life because he stays in my mind.

My Amazon Wish List (http://www.amazon.com/registry/wishlist/LYLSUGVVJA6W/ref=cm_sw_r_tw_ws_Ui5Zvb045VBN0) has served as an excellent vehicle for all kinds of fans to show their adoration for me. At first I added sexy clothing, things I thought my fans wanted to see me in. Fishnet body stockings, slutty boots, etc. I was reluctant to add ‘practical’ items like frying pans, laundry soap, comfortable foot wear, winter coats, bird seed, tooth paste, granola bars, etc. But as I started to add those things & guys bought them for me I realized how very appropriate this was. How that is in-line with what I’ve been preaching for years: there is fantasy & there is reality.

In fantasy I spend all day in my castle wearing thigh-high leather stiletto boots, wielding a whip & being pampered & served by all manner of slaves, one in my bathroom for toilet duties, sex slaves chained up in the bedroom, kitchen slaves & servants cooking & cleaning, a slave as a door mat & boot cleaner, all my furniture just being human chairs, etc.

This is not my living room.

This is not my living room.

In reality I walk a lot & need comfortable shoes. I don’t have or want domestic slaves. I live in a regular apartment, do my own laundry, etc. I would rather have some useful kitchen gear or yummy granola bars than another fishnet body stocking (I have about 30 of them by now!).

This is the truth & although I want my fans to immerse themselves in the fantasies I carefully create while they’re jerking off…afterward I want them to remember I am a real person, a regular human, not a 2 dimensional porn puppet. Thinking that I am a whip-wielding sex pot Dominatrix 24/7 is actually objectifying & unhealthy.

Cinderella's castle at Disney in Orlando...not MY castle!

Cinderella’s castle at Disney in Orlando…not MY castle!

When I receive a tribute of any kind I feel ‘seen’, acknowledged & appreciated. Whether it’s appreciation for the way I make a fan feel with my vids or it’s a gift to support me in my regular life…it just feels GREAT. Based on some fans sending on-going tributes I assume they’re getting similar pleasure…or in some cases I’m sure it’s a “Financial Domination” type rush.

Some guys even give to charity as a way of tributing me…& that’s a beautiful thing to do. Here’s info on my favorite charity, Kiva, you can make micro-loans (with or without getting the free time on my site): http://www.mistresst.net/blog/uncategorized/loan-to-a-worthwile-cause-get-free-porn/

So, thanks to all the fans who tribute…for the love of the tribute. The fans who appreciate me & like to do things to make me smile. Of course, joining my members site and/or buying my vids from my clips store is the BEST way to support me. That is my core business, my art, my passion! Amazon gift cards, cash tributes on my clips store or sending gifts are all lovely & very much appreciated too. xo

Big love,

Mistress T

Members site: http://www.MistressT.net
PPV: http://www.clips4sale.com/23869
Blog: http://www.MistressT.net/blog/
Twitter: https://twitter.com/MistressTdotnet

Amazon Wish List: http://www.amazon.com/registry/wishlist/LYLSUGVVJA6W/ref=cm_sw_r_tw_ws_Ui5Zvb045VBN0