Fans say the darndest things…

I think the look on my face says it all...

I think the look on my face says it all…

Here’s a peek into my mail bag…not a day goes by that I don’t read something in my email or twitter that causes me to screw up my face, roll my eyes or say out loud: “What the fuck?!”.

These are quotes from emails & my reaction to them:

From a fan in India: “i just thought if you can make me come to the US by a job visa or by the way of romance, or you can find me a place to work with you… I will thank you. “

~ Um, no. Firstly, I’m a Canadian living in Canada & secondly: no.

From a fan trying to bait/manipulate me into catering to his fetish for small penis humiliation:  “Hello mistress!
I was wondering if you could tell me if I have a small penis or not?”

~ *tumble weeds blowing through his inbox as he sits waiting for a response that’s never coming*

“Ive been in chastity for a while now and I think its shrunk :l”

~ Who cares?
“I want full ownership by the most beautiful Domme who ever walked the earth!!!
Beat me, bind me, cuck me, Torture my cock and balls any way you wish, make me a sissy-slut too!!!
I am totally straight, but I would suffer the humiliation of faggotry for you!!!”

~ Ah yes, yet another “straight” guy begging me to “make” him suck cock…and ordering me to do stuff to him. Hot? Not.

“I am so desperate to lick your ass and swallow your farts because it is my oxygen.”

~ No it’s not.

“I think it is hot when you work with black men and do some things in public.  I could even fly you places to work with allot of black men you like and cover all expenses.”

~ Fantasy & reality are not the same thing buddy.

“I would also love to see you take an SUV on a public road and pull over and jump on the gear shift riding it to one incredible orgasm.”

~ What about me would make you think I would be interested in fucking a vehicle?

“Why would a stunning young lady like your self be empressed with a battered up boxer like me. But I want to keep fighting 4 u sweetie. I love the thought of taking painfull face punches and suffering the pain while I think of u during a fight and the thought that your all relaxed with your adorable sexy size 4 feet up. And the fear before the fight. I want to take pain for u misstress T. I’m a sadist as u can realise.”

~ This is actually kind of impressive…”Fight Club” is one of my favorite movies…keep up the good work Boxer!

“My Penis gets very Hard & Erect & I am willing to let you practice your Fellatio & Hand Job with it, in exchange for Lessons.”

~ Haa haaaa ha! You’ll let me PRACTICE giving blow jobs on your penis?! Oh, SO generous.

From a new film slave: “omg..I am such a lucky boy! I wish I could do so much more Mistress T, you have really impacted me in the short time that Ive spent around you. I mean I obviously was very familiar with you long before getting the honor of meeting you and being a film slave and honestly my thoughts have been so completely consumed with thoughts of you. I know I am just a prop, film slave and I love it! but for me, this opportunity has created such a buzz within me.. “

~ Okay, that’s actually very sweet…and a nice way to end things today.

Mistress T

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10 thoughts on “Fans say the darndest things…

  1. Makes you wonder what the hell some people are thinking. It would be nice to not be encumbered by self-awareness sometimes.

  2. The one that made me LOL was the guy who was “willing” to let you practice on his dick in exchange for “lessons”. WTF? Cheek!!

    Now that I’ve read this blog post, it’s no wonder that you somehow need to discourage fan mail to avoid too many of these morons in your inbox.

  3. Hahaha I can’t stop laughing at some of these.

    Do you promise to hot box me next month because I must “swallow your farts because it is my oxygen!!!”
    I’ll even let you film it… maybe.

    “~ *tumble weeds blowing as *I* sit waiting for a response that’s never coming*”

    • Meg, I believe it’s more commonly referred to as a “Dutch Oven” & if you’re sharing a bed with me there is a decent chance you’ll get at least one…when I shared a bed with Ceara she wasn’t so fond of them…nor the vibrator… SO uptight, eh? lol

  4. Dear Mistress T,

    if you are forced to change biz by whatreason ever, it seems that there might be a lot of fascinating stuff that would come out, if one tries to imagine the stories that went on before the authors of these blossoms of literature carried out their plans.

    The difference between a tragedy and a comedy lies in the perspective of the observer.

    Guess you choose the right side anyway

    Thanks again


  5. Guys can’t help but embarrass themselves when it comes to talking to girls they really like. I wish I could remember all the dumb shit I’ve said in my life while trying to talk to a pretty girl.

  6. Very funny. I especially liked your comment regarding fantasy vs reality.


  7. What about me would make you think I would be interested in fucking a vehicle?

    I have seen a lot of your videos, never knew before about this blog.. beside being sexy and gorgeous you turned to be a very funny person 🙂

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