My birthday is coming up!

face_orange_satin_bed

Why on earth would I be announcing my birthday? Presents, of course! I’m not really into Financial Domination but I’m not going to pass up an opportunity to get presents, gifts, offerings, goodies, treats, etc. Who doesn’t like getting presents?! *grin*

My birthday is April 29th & it’s the big 4-0 for me this time. I know, I look fantastic for my age & I feel fantastic too. Healthy diet, yoga, lots of walking, great sex, keeping things low stress, getting decent sleep…always striving for balance.

I have big plans for this year. Rather than celebrating with a birthday dinner or party I’ve made a list of “40 awesome things to do in my 40th year”…so that I mark this milestone year with a lot of memorable & meaningful things. The list contains some obvious activities like skydiving & paragliding but also things like “helping a young woman reach a goal”, volunteering & a minimum of 12 random acts of kindness. I included “finish my book” so for those wondering when my book will be done…I’m hoping by this time next year.

If you would like to “gift” me one of the awesome things on my list here are some examples of things you could contribute to:

– Kayak with whales (kayaking excursion in Tofino)

– Tickets for a local theater performance

– Tickets for the symphony: http://www.vancouversymphony.ca/concerts/

– Adrenaline activities: “escape room” game / paintball / zip line / skydive / para-glide

Gift certificates for my favorite spa are ALWAYS appreciated: http://www.mirajhammam.com/gift-certificates/ (Just give them my email address, they know who I am, it’s fine: MsT@MistressT.net)

Amazon.com gift cards are always a wonderful choice (to this email address): MsT@MistressT.net

Here’s my Amazon Wish List: http://www.amazon.com/registry/wishlist/LYLSUGVVJA6W/ref=cm_sw_r_tw_ws_p9jbxb0WKY55P

If you would like to take me to the symphony, theater, out for dinner, etc. There is an additional tribute required for my company in public. Please inquire via email.

Thanks in advance for all spoiling! *smile*

xo

Mistress T

Members site: http://www.MistressT.net
PPV: http://www.clips4sale.com/23869
Blog: http://www.MistressT.net/blog/
Twitter: https://twitter.com/MistressTdotnet

Booking filming spring/summer 2016

Mistress T glove and fur

Cum here.

I’m starting to resurface after taking some time off to write and to deal with the loss of a family member. Thank you to those who offered your condolences and thank you to those who respectfully gave me space.

I’m excited about starting filming again! I’ll now accept applications for those wanting to film with me in April and beyond.

At this time it is unlikely I will accept private sessions or distance slaves as I’m still writing my book. I’m returning to work part time. I might make an exception in the right circumstances (a VERY generous offer from a well-mannered, interesting, easy-to-deal with client).

#1 requirement to apply to film with me: you MUST be in Vancouver as I am not traveling anywhere for the foreseeable future.

Again: filming in Vancouver ONLY.

To be extra clear: if you are not in Vancouver do not email me about filming.

Got it? Good.

#2. You must send a $100 deposit for me to review your application. What? Yes, you have to pay me to even consider you. Why? Because I have more duds than I do viable applicants and I have enough regular film slaves that I don’t really need new ones. So you have to prove you are worth my time.

3 options for tributing:
1. Online E-Transfer to this email address (from any major Canadian bank): MsT@MistressT.net
2. Tribute button on my clips store: http://www.clips4sale.com/23869
3. Gift card for my favorite spa. You can buy online with paypal or go in & pay cash in person. Ask them to email the gift card to MsT@MistressT.net. They are used to it as a lot of fans send me gift cards from there.: http://www.mirajhammam.com/gift-certificates/

#3. You must email at least 1 clear nude torso pic with erect penis. I prefer average to fit guys with less body hair and bigger dicks. If you don’t look like that you may not want to apply but you are welcome to. If you send $100 I will seriously try to find some way to film with you. The only time it’s okay to send me a ‘dick pic’ is when you’ve paid me $100 to look at it…but please try to get more than your dick in the pic. Standing in front of a mirror works. I don’t need your face in the pic or in the vid. The headless are welcome to apply:-) Email pics AFTER you’ve sent the deposit: MsT@MistressT.net

#4. Tell me what you’re into. List what activities you’re into or how you think you could be used in MY vids. I use stunt cocks, if you just want to lay there & get jerked off, say that. If you can take a big strap-on in your ass, let me know. If you’ll suck cock or would let a guy suck you, tell me. If you’re a fan of my vids you know what kind of scenes I film & where you might fit into the mix.

NOTE: I am NOT filming any toilet stuff. I will not allow oral worship, do nude facesitting or have intercourse with strangers. If you film with me for awhile & I want to do those things with you we’ll discuss it if we reach that comfort level that but do not expect any of that in the beginning.

I think that covers it. $100 gets my attention. Applications without it will be ignored:-)

xo

Mistress T

Members site: http://www.MistressT.net
PPV: http://www.clips4sale.com/23869
Blog: http://www.MistressT.net/blog/
Twitter: https://twitter.com/MistressTdotnet

Questions for a university psychology course.

office_boss_lady_white_suit_Mistresst

A psychologist has asked me questions for a university course he’s teaching. I thought some of my fans might be interested in the answers so am making a blog post out of it.

Questions:
1. How do you see domination fitting into normal human sexuality?

There is a wide spectrum of Domination in sexuality, from a subtle power exchange of one person initiating or being on top in a sexual position, to light bondage, role play, or harder impact play, spanking, paddling, etc. The specific activities aside, I think people often experience at least a subtle sense of being more submissive or more Dominant in a sexual encounter. That can be thrilling. To either be pursued & ‘taken’ enthusiastically or to be the one with more control in the situation. The spirit of that can make sex more exciting, even if in your own head you feel it without telling the other person, to use your imagination & pretend you are submitting or Dominating. For example, without thinking of “Domination” I’m sure a lot of women enjoy being on the bottom in the missionary position, which is in a sense, a submissive position.
2. What about you makes you popular with the men who are your fans? Are these things common to or possible in all dominant people (or people being dominant), or are they particular to you?

For me specifically there is a confidence that my fans seem to be drawn to. Confidence seems to go hand in hand with Dominance so I feel that quality is common in most or all Dominant people. I’d like to say that being perceptive/empathetic & intelligent are also valued by my fans but wouldn’t say those things are necessarily common to all Dominant people. Human sexuality is complex. Dominant people are just people who enjoy being in control. There are as many different types of Dominant people as there are fans or submissives with different tastes & interests.
3. How is what you do healthy for a person’s sexuality – yours or the sexuality of the fans?

This is a highly individual answer but I’ll answer with some examples. Some of my fans have secret fetishes that they do not feel comfortable sharing with their wives. Maybe they like to dress up in women’s lingerie or they have a foot fetish. Maybe their fetish developed after they were married and their wife just wouldn’t be understanding about it. Maybe they don’t even have sex anymore so she especially wouldn’t be interested in indulging his sexual interest. By watching my vids he gets an outlet. He gets to indulge in his fetish without cheating on his wife, or asking her to do something she’s not comfortable with. Maybe he doesn’t get to play out his fantasies exactly as he’d like to but he at least gets to let the pressure off. Have a little harmless fun.

Another example: Some of my fans are in control at work & home. The have a lot of responsibility/pressure/stress. Someone else being in control for even a few minutes is like a weight being lifted off of them. A mini-mental vacation. They can watch a 10 minute “masturbation instruction” vid where I tell them to stroke & ejaculate on command, maybe with a count down, like it’s a game and they are happy to just take orders from someone else for a little while. To escape their normal lives. After that they are refreshed, more relaxed & able to return to their normal lives a little lighter. It helps them be better boss’s, better parents, husbands, etc.

Yet another example: Sometimes my vids help men to be better lovers. Men with premature ejaculation issues can learn orgasm control through my vids.
4. Is there a line that you see where domination crosses into something unhealthy? If so, how would you describe where this could become unhealthy?

In extreme situations Domination could be associated with non-consensual sex, verbal or physical abuse/violence. There are people with mental health issues who Dominate in unhealthy ways…but mentally healthy people who enjoy incorporating Dom/sub play into their sex life usually have no desire to harm their partners beyond their limits. It’s important to learn to play safely, to respect boundaries, etc. The vast majority of people who engage in mild to wild Domination play do so in a healthy way, whether solo (masturbating to vids) or with partners. Even porn addiction isn’t that different from Netflix binging, Facebook or other social media addiction, video games, etc. Sexual pleasure is healthy, mentally & physically. However you find that pleasure among consenting adults is ALL GOOD.

(A side note about porn addiction: In mainstream porn young men can get the wrong idea about what real sex is like & essentially ‘train’ themselves to only be able to get hard & cum from this kind of stimulation. I don’t feel like Domination porn quite has the same effect but it’s possible that if a young man only ever masturbated to porn of women Dominating men he may have a difficult time adjusting to real life sex with a woman who is not Dominant. This would be more of an extreme situation. Ideally, watching porn would expose a person to a variety of scenarios & actually educate them, stimulate their creativity & help them to feel more comfortable with their sexuality.)
5. Is domination something that is consistent with your general personality (as your friends and loved ones in life have known you), or is it very different from the way you are in life on a day-to-day basis?

Mistress T is a persona…but is certainly close to who I am off screen. I have always been a naturally confident, self-assured person who likes to be in control. Not to the point of arrogance, bullying or an inability to allow someone else to take the lead. Day-to-day I am pretty relaxed & goofy.
6. Do you think that domination (or submission) is something that every person should try out, or is it an interest that only some people would probably have an interest in?

I think every person who feels like trying it, should. That doesn’t mean it’s for everyone. Most people, if they were very honest, would know instinctively whether they feel drawn to or curious about Dominating or submitting.  Some simply have no interest & that’s fine. As I said before, human sexuality is very complex. If every person you know could anonymously let you know what their sexual fantasies are I bet you would be hard pressed to figure out what ‘normal’ is. There is no so such thing. If we all wore t-shirts with our sexual fantasies written on them it would not be long before we all became more accepting & less shocked but what we think is ‘taboo’ or abnormal.
7. We have a wide range of students with a wide range of belief systems, from atheist to conservative Christian. Do you have a message to share with university students who are strongly Christian that may help them to approach, learn, and think about domination instead of just throwing it out and labeling it as immoral or wrong?

Do Christians think that Domination is immoral or wrong? Gosh, I didn’t realize. Do you mean they think God will judge them & they won’t get into heaven? I suppose if someone thinks sex is only for reproduction & not enjoyment then anything like this is going to be too far of a leap. Sorry, otherwise I just don’t quite understand how religion plays into this? I realize my moral compass might be a little fluid after all the years of depravity I’ve engaged in…but my opinion is that what happens between consenting adults in privacy is their business. If it feels good, do it. The world needs happy people & sexually satisfied people tend to be less stressed & in a better position to do Gods work/helping your fellow man, etc.

Satan is RIGHT behind me...isn't he?! He's already stolen my nose, I can feel it! So why am I still smiling?

Satan is RIGHT behind me…isn’t he?! He’s already stolen my nose, I can feel it! So why am I still smiling?

A note about Domination & sexuality. The book & movie 50 Shades of Grey started a lot of discussions about Domination. Those who are informed on Domination often criticize it for portraying things incorrectly. Some consider the scenario’s to be closer to abuse than safe, consensual Domination. Criticism aside it did put a spotlight on the undeniable fact that many people, especially women are curious or interested in Domination, kinky sex, BDSM, bondage, fetishes, role-play, etc. The internet has opened up the world of kink to those who may not have had access to information before. People are curious, they are asking questions, exploring & becoming more accepting. Those who judge & condemn other people for their sexual preferences are rightfully becoming the endangered species. Each of us has to live our own lives & we owe it to our 80 year old future selves to make the best of the years and not saddle ourselves with “what if’s”, “should have’s” & regrets. Be true to yourself.

Best,
Mistress T

Members site: http://www.MistressT.net
PPV: http://www.clips4sale.com/23869
Blog: http://www.MistressT.net/blog
Twitter: https://twitter.com/MistressTdotnet

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Sex Party for the Disabled

mistresst_bazinga

I just read this Vice article covering a sex party in Toronto for the disabled:  http://www.vice.com/en_ca/read/an-inside-look-from-the-toronto-club-that-hosted-a-sex-party-for-the-disabled?utm_source=vicefbca

In my years in the fetish scene & as a sex worker I’ve encountered a fair number of sexually adventurous and/or kinky “other-abled” people. The brain is the biggest sex organ, so even if someone is in a wheel chair, is down a limb, has coordination issues from some medical condition, is visually impaired or something else doesn’t mean that they’re not sexually healthy, curious, adventurous or active.

The article also reminded me of the movie “The Sessions” where a man in an iron lung who wishes to lose his virginity contacts a professional sex surrogate with the help of his therapist and priest: http://www.imdb.com/title/tt1866249/

It was a fantastic movie. Very well done.

My experiences with other-abled people have made me more accepting & open-minded.

There was the foot fetishist is a wheel chair who in the middle of our session needed to empty his bladder. In the position we were in it was just easier for me to fetch his pee jug for him. As I was emptying the jug into the toilet for him I noticed how I felt more like a nurse or caregiver than a Dominatrix in that moment. But it was the practical thing to do.

latex_nurse_behind

Another very sweet client was in such a way that he couldn’t really reach his own penis. He had a caregiver to wash him but you can imagine how he looked forward to our sessions…those rare orgasms were intense & therapeutic.

I’ve had quite a few fans on web cam who have mobility issues. The web cam sessions gave them excitement & interaction.

I even have a story from my teens, long before I was Mistress T, when I spent the night with a friend who was paralyzed from the waist down. He was so happy to just cuddle & give me pleasure, to have the intimate human contact even though he couldn’t have intercourse. I didn’t do it because I felt sorry for him…it was just a casual thing, we weren’t dating, but I was attracted to him. Since the focus was pretty much all on my pleasure it was a uniquely satisfying experience. I confess, I’ve often looked at attractive men in wheel chairs & wondered if they’d be extra skilled at pleasing a woman with their mouths & hands. The way a blind person has better hearing.

I’m sure disabled people want to be liked for who they are despite their disability, rather than “because” of their disability. Which brings me full circle to the Vice article that inspired my blog post today.

I think a sex party for the disabled is a fantastic idea & I applaud the organizers in Toronto who put this together. I wonder how many others are like me, interested or curious about sex with people who are ‘other-abled’ but are shy or unsure of how to meet someone. You don’t want to rock up to some guy on the street & say: “I see you’re in a wheel chair so I’m thinking you’re an ace pussy licker, wanna mess around?” It seems de-humanizing or objectifying to have the disability be the launch point. So a sex party would be an amazing exploration opportunity for the disabled & those who are interested…well, there are those who actually have specific fetishes for disabilities but I’m not an expert on that so I’ll bow out before I say something uninformed.

I feel like this blog post has gone on too long. I am sensitive to everyone’s short attention span these days. So I’ll just trail off & recommend you read that article.

Cheers,

Mistress T

Members site: http://www.MistressT.net
PPV: http://www.clips4sale.com/23869
Blog: http://www.MistressT.net/blog/
Twitter: https://twitter.com/MistressTdotnet

The Art of the “Tribute”.

I am not an expert on Financial Domination. Not even close. This post isn’t about FinDom either…to be clear…it’s just my thoughts on “tributes” and some of my recent experiences.

Lots of gifts from my Amazon Wish List!

Lots of gifts from my Amazon Wish List!

A rose by any other name would smell as sweet…a tribute is basically a gift. It’s called a tribute in the FemDom world based on your worship of “The Goddess”…but it’s basically a gift…and it often feels just as good to give a gift as it does to receive it.

A gift is not normally exchanged for something. You don’t give a birthday gift to someone you love expecting something in return. You may well get something in return but it isn’t like paying for a thing or a service. It isn’t a barter.

I have a fan who takes care of my tea needs. How it all came about now doesn’t matter but on an ongoing basis he checks in to see how my tea supply is & when I’m running low he mails me my favorite tea. I drink green tea pretty much constantly when I’m at home & I often think of him when I’m enjoying that tea.

I love tea!

I love tea!

By doing something sweet, simple & thoughtful he remains top of mind. Because of that he was contacted directly recently when I was passing through his part of the world & we met up for a session & dinner. There are very few fans who would have that opportunity.

I have another fan who is always looking for thoughtful ways to tribute me. He has sent me books & movies that I have shown interest in. He has provided unique insight into topics I’ve been curious about. He always sends thoughtful, generous gifts for my birthday. He is always thinking of me & I know it. He is one of the only ones who gets random emails from me just chatting about life because he stays in my mind.

My Amazon Wish List (http://www.amazon.com/registry/wishlist/LYLSUGVVJA6W/ref=cm_sw_r_tw_ws_Ui5Zvb045VBN0) has served as an excellent vehicle for all kinds of fans to show their adoration for me. At first I added sexy clothing, things I thought my fans wanted to see me in. Fishnet body stockings, slutty boots, etc. I was reluctant to add ‘practical’ items like frying pans, laundry soap, comfortable foot wear, winter coats, bird seed, tooth paste, granola bars, etc. But as I started to add those things & guys bought them for me I realized how very appropriate this was. How that is in-line with what I’ve been preaching for years: there is fantasy & there is reality.

In fantasy I spend all day in my castle wearing thigh-high leather stiletto boots, wielding a whip & being pampered & served by all manner of slaves, one in my bathroom for toilet duties, sex slaves chained up in the bedroom, kitchen slaves & servants cooking & cleaning, a slave as a door mat & boot cleaner, all my furniture just being human chairs, etc.

This is not my living room.

This is not my living room.

In reality I walk a lot & need comfortable shoes. I don’t have or want domestic slaves. I live in a regular apartment, do my own laundry, etc. I would rather have some useful kitchen gear or yummy granola bars than another fishnet body stocking (I have about 30 of them by now!).

This is the truth & although I want my fans to immerse themselves in the fantasies I carefully create while they’re jerking off…afterward I want them to remember I am a real person, a regular human, not a 2 dimensional porn puppet. Thinking that I am a whip-wielding sex pot Dominatrix 24/7 is actually objectifying & unhealthy.

Cinderella's castle at Disney in Orlando...not MY castle!

Cinderella’s castle at Disney in Orlando…not MY castle!

When I receive a tribute of any kind I feel ‘seen’, acknowledged & appreciated. Whether it’s appreciation for the way I make a fan feel with my vids or it’s a gift to support me in my regular life…it just feels GREAT. Based on some fans sending on-going tributes I assume they’re getting similar pleasure…or in some cases I’m sure it’s a “Financial Domination” type rush.

Some guys even give to charity as a way of tributing me…& that’s a beautiful thing to do. Here’s info on my favorite charity, Kiva, you can make micro-loans (with or without getting the free time on my site): http://www.mistresst.net/blog/uncategorized/loan-to-a-worthwile-cause-get-free-porn/

So, thanks to all the fans who tribute…for the love of the tribute. The fans who appreciate me & like to do things to make me smile. Of course, joining my members site and/or buying my vids from my clips store is the BEST way to support me. That is my core business, my art, my passion! Amazon gift cards, cash tributes on my clips store or sending gifts are all lovely & very much appreciated too. xo

Big love,

Mistress T

Members site: http://www.MistressT.net
PPV: http://www.clips4sale.com/23869
Blog: http://www.MistressT.net/blog/
Twitter: https://twitter.com/MistressTdotnet

Amazon Wish List: http://www.amazon.com/registry/wishlist/LYLSUGVVJA6W/ref=cm_sw_r_tw_ws_Ui5Zvb045VBN0

 

Do I remind you of anyone?

Mistress T in heels and mini skirt.

Girl next door?

Over the years I’ve had a lot of guys tell me that I remind them of someone from their real lives. I’m not sure how common this is for sex workers/Pro Dommes/escorts, etc.?

Often it’s an ex girlfriend or a love interest from their past. There is an element of nostalgia in these encounters. They sometimes fantasize that they are reuniting with a grown up version of a teenage love from 20 years ago or so. In one situation I was able to help a guy work through some issues he had had over a relationship that didn’t end well. By playing the role of this woman I could give a different perspective of events, how she may have felt, etc.

I’ve had at least a couple of guys say that I look similar to their current wives. One fella liked to be cuckolded by me & imagine that I was his wife. He wanted so badly to see his wife fuck other men but she wasn’t into it. He lived out those fantasies with me.

Imagine I'm your wife...getting fucked by another man...

Imagine I’m your wife…getting fucked by another man…

I’ve had guys say that I remind them of their aunt, mom or mothers friend. Someone they had a crush on when they were younger. Sometimes a school teacher or someone in an authoritative position. We role play fantasies that would have been too taboo to play out otherwise.

Mistress T in a business suit.

Did you do your homework???

Men are very visual & I understand they often like a certain ‘look’. I’ve kept basically the same hair style & haven’t gotten tattoos & piercings like a lot of my friends. Partly because of my job, for those who fantasize I’m a 1940’s pin-up model or Hollywood actress. Or to make it easier for those who are pretending I’m someone else. I don’t mind though. I like my look.

I find it fascinating that men can imagine that I am someone else, someone who meant or means something special to them. That I can help them fulfill fantasies or work through unresolved issues. This is one of the more interesting parts of my work.

Do I remind you of someone? Or are you a woman in a similar line of work who gets told by a lot of men that you remind them of someone? Feel free to share in the comments!

Best,
Mistress T

Members site: http://www.MistressT.net
PPV: http://www.clips4sale.com/23869
Blog: http://www.MistressT.net/blog/
Twitter: https://twitter.com/MistressTdotnet

 

 

England! (London, UK)

dress_bum_outMistress T in lingerie.Mistress T in stockings showing feet.

I’m planning my next trip to England & here’s the important info you need BEFORE you email me with any questions: you’re going to have to pay to apply.

That’s right. A $50 tribute is required before I’ll respond to your inquiries. (I give you lots of options to make the tribute).

Why? Because I’m a one-woman show. I do everything without admin assistance, including reading & responding personally to emails. It may not always be the best use of my time but I think fans should know when they email me they are communicating only with me. By requiring a small tribute to apply to see me in London I hope to cut back on the usual crushing volume & time-wasters…thus freeing up more time for those who deserve my attention!

I’ll answer a few basic questions here then give you the many easy options to pay before you email to apply:

#1. I will be in England within the next 3 months. I will have some time in London as well as outside of London.

#2. My private & social rate is high. You’ll need a generous budget. 50% deposit required if accepted.

#3. At this point I don’t think I’ll be needing any more film slaves but even if that is your wish you’ll still need to pay to apply with the $50 tribute.

#4. No intercourse, oral sex/nude face sitting or hard sports.

Ways to pay $50 tribute:

-Tribute button on my clips store: http://www.clips4sale.com/23869 (Clip cash card should work even if you don’t have a credit card)
-$50 worth of vids from my clips store: http://www.clips4sale.com/23869
-Get a premium membership to my site: http://www.MistressT.net
-$50 gift card from Amazon.com (sent to email address below)
-$50 worth of gifts from my Amazon wish list: http://www.amazon.com/registry/wishlist
If you only have PayPal this will work:
-$50 micro-loan through Kiva: http://www.mistresst.net/blog/uncategorized/loan-to-a-worthwile-cause-get-free-porn/

Or a gift card for my favorite spa (paypal):

http://www.mirajhammam.com/gift-certificates/

Lastly, if you must, mail cash. Email me to ask for the mailing address.

HOW TO APPLY:

Send an email to MsT@MistressT.net:

#1. With proof of the tribute.

#2. Introducing yourself & your interests. Include references if you have them.

You can stop reading now, that was the really crucial info…but here’s a little extra:

My ideal client is one who has read many of my blog entries & feels a connection to me as a person, not an object (not just a porn star)…and feels excited about getting to know me further in person. This client indeed worships me as Mistress T & has enthusiastically enjoyed many of my vids but again, also sees me as a real, multidimensional person. This client values my time, respects me & is a gentleman. He is open to letting me know him as well & hopes for our time together to be mutually enjoyable. Our rendezvous will likely have a social element to it, a walk, dining together, shopping or some other outing or entertainment: a chance to get acquainted. Our private time may include tease & denial with potential release by my hand, maybe foot or leg worship, with or without hosiery…maybe water sports or other kinky or humiliating games. Maybe a role-play, mental game or even a bit of pain…or a lot of pain: ballbusting or such. Whatever the specific activities it is about creating an experience together.

Best,
Mistress T

Members site: http://www.MistressT.net
PPV: http://www.clips4sale.com/23869
Blog: http://www.MistressT.net/blog/
Twitter: http://twitter.com/#!/MistressTdotnet

Lucky Guy

pantyhose_drives_you_crazy.Still003

When I tweet pics of me with guys/slaves the most common comment I get is “Lucky guy” followed by “Wish I was him/wish it was me”.

So who are these lucky guys and where do they come from? Unlike the guys you see in a lot of mainstream porn, 99% of my guys are not professional performers. I live in Vancouver, Canada. We don’t have a porn scene here so there are no professionals (that I know of) to hire even if I wanted to. While traveling I have had the opportunity to work with a few pro’s. Exactly 3 I think: Shane Diesel, Wolf Hudson & Deviant Kade. Slave Wade might be considered a pro by now too?

When I started making my own vids I had a partner. The first couple of years he was the only guy I filmed sex scenes with. Those who have been watching my stuff for more than 5 years probably know who I’m talking about. After we went our separate ways I started filming with others.

Each one has their own unique story. Some I’ve only filmed with once or a few times, for a variety of reasons. Perhaps we were only in the same place at the same time briefly, like a guy from out of town visiting. Sometimes I just don’t ‘click’ with someone enough to want to work with them anymore.

The ones that have stuck around earn nicknames and are close to my heart. The Gladiator, The Fire Hose Guy, Superman, The Young Fella, Eager Beaver, etc.

Most tend to be fans who simply offer themselves to be used for filming. Usually they don’t show their face which is fine with me. I think it’s easier for the viewer to imagine it’s him if he isn’t distracted by a face. They need to keep their anonymity. They all have lives. One of them sneaks out of the office to film with me & always shows up in a sharp suit, perfectly coiffed. He’s so beautiful I wish my fans could see more of him than just his cock, but alas…

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Another one is a personal friend I’ve had for many years. He comes & goes. When he’s in a relationship we don’t film. When things don’t work out he comes back.

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I found one fella while on vacation in Mexico. He was American & came to Vancouver to film with me several times over the next couple of years.

cancun_facesit

Some guys get shared or passed around among the other Vancouver Dommes. We’re a small, close community.

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When I’m in England I get use of the English Mansion slaves or those who belong to Nikki Whiplash.

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A more unique story is of the guy I accidentally found through one of those adult dating sites. I hadn’t been on it in over a year but I logged in to get the profile of someone impersonating me removed. While I was waiting for the admin to message me back another message came in & I looked at it. He had a nice cock so I asked if he’d like to be in my vids. He ended up being a wonderful film guy.

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I prefer the ones who come regularly. I enjoy getting to know them & figuring out how to control their orgasms. I like pushing boundaries & introducing them to new things. We often sit around chatting over tea before or after filming which is also nice for me. Sometimes we go for a bite to eat or hang out socially. Some of them are lovers before they are in my films…sometimes they become my personal fuck toys off camera after. Some of them serve me in a more ‘slave’ way personally.

So I would say that they all consider themselves to be as lucky as you think they are. I wouldn’t keep anyone around who isn’t appreciative. I have more guys to film with than I need. I also consider myself lucky. I love what I do & a big part of that is liking those who I do intimate scenes with.

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Info on applying to be a film slave: http://www.mistresst.net/blog/fetish-focus/frequently-asked-questions/

Best,
Mistress T

Members site: http://www.MistressT.net
PPV: http://www.clips4sale.com/23869
Blog: http://www.MistressT.net/blog/
Twitter: http://twitter.com/#!/MistressTdotnet

When A Compliment Is An Insult

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I make myself pretty accessible. I tweet & blog a lot. I really want my fans to see me as a person & not an object (as many women are portrayed in the adult biz).

Being accessible can be a double edged sword though. I often get emails that are complimentary but inappropriate.

Picture if you will, my every day life. I wake up, check my email & twitter from the bathroom in the dark. Then I put on music, chill indie or something cheerful while I shake up my protein drink & boil water for green tea. I then answer emails in my flannel pj’s while sitting in front of a large window, sometimes putting seeds out so birds entertain me.

The rest of my day might include a meal with friends, yoga, walking, errands, doing housework, making myself something to eat, going to the spa with friends, visiting a sick friend, talking to family on the phone, writing my book, planning trips, going out to parties, having sex or any number of other things that are NOT work related.

For work I edit, film, tweet, blog, occasionally session in person or webcam…and answer emails.

This is a bit long-winded because what I’m going to say might sound ‘bitchy’ and I want you to see me as a regular person first and not just a porn star, Dominatrix, celebrity or whatever.

I understand the concept of ‘fan mail’. I also understand the reality is that many of my fans have never paid a cent to enjoy my content, yet they still consider themselves devoted fans, hungrily consuming whatever they can get their mitts on for free. Maybe they genuinely can’t afford to pay anything. Maybe the concept of paying has never occurred to them, they are a part of the demographic that just thinks free porn is the norm. In any case, they have never contributed in a positive way to my work. There’s an argument that watching the pirated stuff negatively effects my business but we’ll leave that for today & just assume that they are at a ‘zero’ in terms of positive or negative contribution…

Until…

They send me a long email telling me how much they adore me, how they’ve jerked off to dozens of my vids…but wait until the end to mention that they aren’t a member of my site or anything but they just HAD to write me anyway.

Now they have stolen my time. Minutes that I won’t get back to enhance my personal life or create more great content. Minutes that add up when many guys do this. Each one thinking they are doing me a favor by telling me how sexy they think I am or how much they love my vids. “Compliments’ that turn into insults when they then point out they’ve paid nothing for the content I’ve worked hard to create.

I have to read those emails because they often all sound the same at first (opening with compliments) before the guy gets to the business part: he wants a custom vid, he wants to meet me in person, he wants to volunteer to be a film slave, etc.

Then I feel like a dick for not responding to those ‘compliment only’ emails, which I just don’t have time for. So I end up feeling worse than if he had just never sent the email in the first place.

Here’s the bitchy part that would have sounded harsher if I opened with it:

Do not send me complimentary emails if you have not paid for anything & have no intention of paying for something or contributing in a way that has value to me.

I don’t need your compliments. I do not suffer from low self esteem & I know very well by now how truly wonderful my content is.

If you’re going to jerk off to my content for free at least have the decency to keep it to yourself & don’t annoy me with emails that waste my time.

Capisce?

To the many, many wonderful fans who join my site, buy vids from clips4sale, send me gifts from my Amazon Wish List, tribute or support my efforts in any way: THANK YOU! You make my day, every day. xo

Best,
Mistress T

Members site: http://www.MistressT.net
PPV: http://www.clips4sale.com/23869
Blog: http://www.MistressT.net/blog/
Twitter: http://twitter.com/#!/MistressTdotnet

Click here for my Amazon Wish List!

 

So, what do you do?

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Sometimes I find myself in the awkward position of trying to explain to someone what I do for a living.

There is no quick way to explain, like saying you’re a dentist, a car salesperson, a criminal lawyer, a bank teller, etc. Sure, I can say that I produce & perform in adult films but then they just get an image of me being gang-banged in every hole by 6 guys at once. Nothing against mainstream porn, I enjoy it & respect those who do that work…it’s just that it’s not really very much like what I actually do.

So I explain that I create niche FemDom fetish films. Then I explain that means that all my films are about Dominant Females and submissive males. Not usually like a leather-clad Dominatrix with a whip in a dungeon, but sometimes. Usually in a domestic setting, often with me doing a lot of talking to the camera to the viewer watching the film.

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The person is usually nodding while making a confused face at this point. Like ‘talking’ in a porn film is the craziest thing they’ve ever heard.

I explain that the guys who watch my vids are into the fantasy of being controlled or Dominated by a confident woman. They feel a connection to me because I’m speaking directly to them. Sure, sometimes there is sex if it fits the scenario, like cuckolding or sex slave, but more often I do hand jobs so the guy jerking off can imagine it’s my hand on his cock.

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Back up…what’s cuckolding?

So then I explain that. Which is often painful. Especially if it’s a couple & the wife looks interested and the guy looks horrified…or vice versa.

#16. New Hubby Becomes Cuckold

#16. New Hubby Becomes Cuckold

At this point I have them by the short & curlies. They couldn’t be ripped away from this conversation if Jesus himself appeared & started turning water into wine. But for me I just feel like a circus freak doing my dog & pony show. I would happily leave the conversation if the most boring person in the world stepped in to explain advanced calculus.

Sometimes they’ll ask what my name is online so they can look me up. Depending on the person this can be varying degrees of awkward. Do I want this person to see me naked, fucking?

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Sometimes they ask something along the lines of how much money I make, which is crass, but for some reason this answer will determine whether they’ll conclude I’m a stupid slut or a brilliant business woman. I usually just smile & say that I do fine. If it’s a female inquiring because she’s thinking of getting into the biz, I tell her it’s not easy-money. I’ve done well where the vast majority have not.

Sometimes I feel compelled to educate & enlighten the masses one person at a time & I spend more time explaining what I do. I’m sure a lot of us have jobs that aren’t quite what people think they are. It’s just that there is such harsh judgement of those who make their living in the sex trade…but in many ways my business is like many others. I pay taxes, I have business expenses, a web site, social media, I answer emails, etc. My education is in sales, marketing and public relations. I’ve applied what I learned similarly in other industries as well as in my adult business.

Anyway, this was just on my mind today so I thought I’d share a little insight into the reality of being me, who is also Mistress T…as this blog is all about getting to know me more intimately. In case you ever wondered what I tell people about what I do. I rarely lie since all of my friends & family know. I just lie if I really don’t feel like giving the long-winded explanation or if I’m sure the person will not be able to handle it. I’ve been surprised often. I’ve been judged harshly by those who I thought were open-minded & I’ve been warmly accepted by those who I suspected would be the most judgmental.
Best,
Mistress T

Members site: http://www.MistressT.net
PPV: http://www.clips4sale.com/23869
Blog: http://www.MistressT.net/blog/
Twitter: http://twitter.com/#!/MistressTdotnet