This post has nothing to do with the whole condom law thingy in California recently…but regarding that, I would have voted ‘no’ because I think performers should have a choice whether to use condoms or not. It shouldn’t be a law.
My body, my choice.
Which leads nicely into this blog post about MY thoughts on condoms in porn.
Even the hyper-observant wouldn’t be able to tell how many men I’ve had unprotected intercourse with in my vids since their faces have so often been unidentifiable. I’ll tell you: three. Does that surprise you? How many men do you think I’ve had intercourse with in my vids using a condom? Less than twenty. In a decade & thousands of scenes, I’ve had sex with less than two dozen different male performers & only bareback with three.
Of those three, two of them were my long-term partners/boyfriends, the other one was a close friend & long term partner of a close friend. I trusted them completely with my sexual health. We all knew each others sexual activity & were tested regularly.
My choice to use condoms was about safer sex until more recently, when it also became about birth control. At 40 my doctor wanted me to consider going off the birth control pill that I’d been on since my teens. Apparently there are higher side-effect risks for older women. I wasn’t keen on getting surgery (tubes tied) or the invasive process of getting an IUD & potentially bleeding for months…sexy talk, eh? Perhaps too personal? Good. I’m a feminist who strives for EQUALITY & a part of that is both sexes being informed about & taking responsibility for birth control. So take a deep breath & keep reading because the next part is going to make you squirm even more.
My partner agreed to get a vasectomy which enabled me to go off the pill (& y’all still get the cream pie scenes you love so much!) but now the risk of having sex without a condom with others isn’t just about STI’s, I now risk an unwanted pregnancy. In other words, I’m not fucking anyone else without a condom. Period.
I’ve recently been approached by a big porn production company to do a boy/girl fuck scene but they had a bareback-only policy…& that got my back up.
So what’s the problem with condoms?
– Guys complain it reduces sensitivity so they lose their boner or can’t cum.
My thoughts on that: the condom just feels different & a guy isn’t used to the sensation. A simple solution is to jerk off with a condom to get used to it! If it’s just you masturbating & you’re on a budget, re-use that condom a few times. Yuck? Whatever. I’m sure you’ve done worse.
– There’s a stigma with condoms. It implies that one of you or both of you might be diseased & going without says that you trust each other.
My thoughts on that: grow the fuck up. Using a condom says that you respect your body & your partners body. If you want to do the trust thing down the line after you both get tested & agree to it…& you have other birth control sorted out, fine. But in the beginning, just grab the damn condom as if it’s a forgone conclusion & get on with it.
– Stopping to put the condom on interrupts the flow & you lose your boner.
My thoughts on that: you can jerk off while surfing porn & keeping an ear open for your roomie, boss, wife or mother in case they walk in, you can do this. Experiment with incorporating the condom into the play. I’ve seen guys effectively lick my pussy while putting the condom on at the same time & I’ve managed to put the condom on while stroking a cock & kissing the guy, just experiment & practice until it becomes just another part of the action. Figure it out.
Honestly tho, the problems with condoms are mostly psychological so how do we help with that? Personally, I feel seeing more condoms in porn would help. Some disagree, saying porn is fantasy, it’s entertainment, guys don’t want to see condoms, it’s a turn off…but we all know that many, MANY young men are using porn as sex ed, like it or not & that what we see does influence sex trends. Anal sex & cumming on a woman’s face are two examples of things that were popularized by porn. There certainly wasn’t a huge women’s movement to try to convince men to cum on our faces, to fuck up our make-up, our hair & squirt sticky goop in our eyes that stings like a sonofabitch. Sex acts that were rarely done 50 years ago are now the norm for a lot of people & the driving force most of the time is porn.
So, it stands to reason that if men saw more condoms in porn that it would become more acceptable, reducing most of the problems with condom use & therefore reducing STI’s & unwanted pregnancies.
BUT, business is business & with so much piracy these days porn producers are fighting for every dollar. They say men won’t pay for porn with condoms in it. That’s probably true in enough cases for some porn producers to draw a hard line against condoms. It’s just business & changing this trend isn’t like turning a canoe around, it’s like turning the titanic around. It would take a lot of producers bravely using condoms in their scenes, taking the financial hit until the trend turned.
So what can you do as a porn consumer? Decide to buy a porn scene even if you see there’s a condom & your knee-jerk reaction is negative. Give it a chance. Try to acclimatize yourself to it & support the producers who are taking the risk creating a scene with a condom & support the performers who are choosing that for their bodies. That’s about it as far as I can tell.
Also, if you don’t like fucking with a rubber, practice jerking off with one. Your dick, your responsibility. Figure it out.
Also, get tested! Condoms are not 100% effective. Responsible fuckers use rubbers AND get tested regularly. It’s no big deal & it feels great to get the ‘all clear’ or to catch something early so you can treat it or deal with it. Ignorance isn’t bliss.
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