This is a rant. I don’t usually go on rants, well, at least not online. Some of you won’t agree with me here. Some of you will think less of me after reading this & I don’t give a damn.
I received a message on Fetlife from a guy saying that he couldn’t believe I was still looking, that he was pretty intimidated by me but thought he’d take a shot at contacting me anyway. I liked how he wrote & although I don’t usually message guys back (I’m a bit of an asshole that way) him saying that he was intimidated by me hit a nerve. I know it takes a lot of balls to approach a woman so I thought I’d give him a chance.
His picture left everything to the imagination. I could basically just make out that he was human. His profile said he was camera shy so I didn’t press for more pictures. I simply offered to meet up sooner rather than later to see if there was chemistry.
A few hours before we were set to meet he messaged me to say he was searching online for my vids to watch. I asked him to not contribute to piracy/file sharing by downloading my stolen, pirated content. So, we didn’t get off on the right foot. I wondered how clueless someone could be?
Within 20 seconds of meeting him I understood the gravity of my mistake. The combination of the lack of pics & his opening line about being intimidated by me should have been a screaming red flag.
The hope that we would at least have a pleasant conversation quickly evaporated as he rambled without pause for 10 minutes straight about a topic I only expressed a vague interest in.
He also talked a lot about himself & I soon learned he was in his early 40’s, unemployed with limited prospects, no plans, & seemed to think the right thing to wear when trying to impress a woman was an old hoodie & unflattering jeans.
I had plenty of time to try to think of an exit plan as he rambled on and on without noticing I was hardly paying attention anymore. When I finally had an opportunity to speak I mentioned that perhaps he should start a blog about the topic he had been rambling about and he actually said: “I should blog. As you can tell, there’s no shortage of things I have to say.”
As I abruptly thanked him for coming to meet with me he started going on about how lovely I am and how much he would like to see me again. All the while I was slowly shaking my head no. But that wasn’t enough for him. He wasn’t picking up the clues. I actually had to say that I wasn’t feeling it. Not interested. Ouch. But anyone else would have clearly picked up the obvious clues (especially me abruptly ending the meeting).
He later messaged me trying to find some way, any opportunity to spend more time with me. Really?!
He seems like a nice enough guy. Maybe the kind of guy who would do anything for ya. I’m note sure. Hell, he could be a complete bastard too. It doesn’t matter. Here’s my rant:
From now on, if a guy says that he’s intimidated by me I’m going to take that as a clear sign that on some level he knows he’s not good enough for me. GOOD: BE INTIMIDATED. Some people are out of your league or just in a different league. I know that a politician or a guy from a high profile rich family who cares about public image is not going to marry a Dominatrix/porn star. I know that if a guy really wants a bunch of kids & a house wife baking cookies for the Church fundraiser that I’m not right for him.
If you’re an unemployed, unattractive guy with shitty social skills & can’t be bothered to be presentable for a first impression DON’T approach an ambitious, well-traveled, independent, beautiful, groomed, successful business woman who has a reputation for chewing men up & spitting them out. What the fuck are you thinking? It’s like hunting big game with a pellet gun.
It’s ironic that the guy I met with today started his correspondence saying that he couldn’t believe I’m still looking. Did he think that I must be desperate enough by now to settle for anything?
I recently received an email from someone who reads my blog saying that I’ll always be single because I’m a dirty whore. I’m not sure if it was hate mail or fan mail but no one can deny that I’m a pretty damn successful whore and a guy who wants to be with me better have his shit together too.
I’m not perfect & I’m not looking for perfection. I’m looking for realistic compatibility. Just because I have a fucked up occupation doesn’t mean that I’m going to settle for anyone with a pulse.
PS: For those who follow my blog closely & are confused because you thought I was seeing someone…well, it’s complicated. He’s still in my life but I’m still seeking… he is a bit of a cuckold & we’ve never been exclusive, sooo….maybe I’ll write a blog entry about non-monogamy & poly relationships at some point.