The urge to give up control…


I recently created a custom vid for a chastity enthusiast who wanted to take things to the next level. He requested three months worth of instructions. He wanted me to decide when he could release himself from chastity and cum. He made a few suggestions for humiliating tasks, cross dressing for example, putting things in his butt, cock and ball abuse, etc.

I didn’t think much of the request. It seemed to me to be something most fans would not be interested in but he paid the going rate for a custom vid, so I created it.

Chastity from a distance sort of works if the wearer is completely denied and the woman is the key holder, though that can be a bit of a dangerous thing. Chastity or orgasm control from a distance where there are opportunities for the slave to unlock himself and have a release…well, I’m skeptical, to be honest. Men are not known for having the most self control and I wouldn’t have any way of knowing if he cheats.

I incorporated tasks in the vid to keep tabs on his progress, for him to send me pics, for example, to send written reports. I also put forth a tax for cheating, a financial tribute to me if he messes up, though as I already said, how would I know? Trusting a stranger to be honest & pay if he cums when he’s not supposed to…well…

So I released the vid on my clips store and was shocked at the number of sales and emails that have come in in the first week. I’m dubious that most will stay on track for three months but we’ll see.

The curious thing for me is the urge to give up control. I can tell you that if someone tried to stop me from having orgasms or tried to have any control over how or when I came they’d likely soon find themselves picking their teeth up off the ground with broken fingers.

I’ve been in this gig for over a decade. I’m not naive but the oddness of some of it is still not lost on me & I can sometimes still be surprised. It’s easy to take things for granted: “Yes, of course men love being told when to cum, that’s what about 80% of my vids are about.” But then I really think about it & try to switch places. Giving the control to someone else with such an intimate, personal act. Why, tho?

I wonder if it starts for some by making a game of it? Jerking off to porn & holding off cumming until a certain point. Then the leap of having the woman in the vid tell you to cum. Hot, hot, hot. Ka-pow! Then, how about if she denies your orgasms too? All the better when you finally get to cum?

Anyway, random thoughts on a vid that has very quickly made it into clips4sale’s overall top 50. A vid that has sold better in the same time frame as a really hot sex scene. So my fans would prefer to see me clothed & telling them how & when to cum than see me fucking? Really? Okay then.

I wonder how many of those caged up fella’s make it through the three months? Anyone care to lay bets?


Here’s the link to buy it if you want to give it a go:


Mistress T

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BDSM beginnings…

While I was working as a receptionist at that big company in my early 20’s a coworker introduced me to an interesting website. I think it was called “Bianca’s Woods” or something like that. It was a place where people could write sexy stories and post them for others to read.

Most of the stories were the usual sort of thing but one story really caught my attention. It was a long story written from a woman’s perspective. She needed work and took a job as a maid/servant in a fancy mansion. She sensed something was unusual there but couldn’t place it. When she finally met the owner of the house and her real boss she was so nervous she spilled his drink. He took her over his knee and spanked her. What followed was a slippery slope of events that climaxed in a very intense scene…she was prepared, presented, strung up, stimulated, and fucked by a group of people. The interesting part was that it was all written from HER perspective, and it was very consensual. The reader could ride the emotional roller coaster with her, her shame, her wrestling with this side of herself, her giving into it, etc. There were various elements of BDSM, electro stimulation, pain & pleasure and in the end, even a dog!

The same author wrote other stories, all from the woman’s perspective. Her struggle with giving herself, submitting.

I found this theme very exciting. Submission. Control. Domination. Pain & pleasure. I wanted to explore but I didn’t know how…but just like most, I found my way, didn’t I? *grin*

A couple years later I was in San Fransisco with a platonic male friend. I asked the concierge at our hotel to recommend a place that would blow my mind. All I wanted was an address, no other info. We ended up at ‘The Power Exchange”. If you’re familiar with this place now, understand that it was very different 12 or 13 years ago when I first went. I’ll describe it:

The Power Exchange was a live sex/BDSM kink club. The first room we walked into, hearing loud music coming from somewhere beyond, was a medieval themed room with a big wooden table & fireplace…and a huge viking looking man flogging a women tied to a cross…her male partner on the other side of the cross kissing her and stimulating her front. It was a powerful introduction and I watched in awe for the first time, someone being flogged and whipped. Each time she was struck her body moved so beautifully.

We continued on and each room we entered offered more to overload my senses. Cages, peep holes, a room full of TV’s playing porn movies, people masturbating, people fucking, people watching, people being Dominated…a women lying on a bed with about a dozen men fondling her…eventually we came across a scene that many others were watching. A beautiful woman was tied to a cross being punished by a somewhat mean looking man dressed all in leather. She was instructed to explain to the crowd why she was being punished: she had burnt his toast that morning. A rumble of laughter went through the crowd and I smiled too. That’s when he looked directly at me and asked if I wanted to come into the scene.

I didn’t even turn to look at my poor, freaked out friend, I just slide under the chain and into their space. They both quickly explained that this was all consensual, explained safe words, etc. He handed me a vibrator and instructed me to touch it to the cloths pegs that were attached all over her nipples, breasts and pussy. I loved the way she reacted. She was very animated & vocal. She kept looking me in the eye and smiling between screams of pain. He then put a rubber glove on my hand, lubed me up and instructed me to fist her. I did and it was like having the whole world in my hand. By now the crowd had grown to dozens, all watching the naive newbie play in public for the first time. I must have been quite the sight.

I realize at this point I have your full attention but I also understand that attention spans are short these days so I will leave it there for now and continue later. There is more, oh-so-much more *grin*.

MistressT Femdom Fetish Goddess in red & black

Decending into the depths of depraivity