Story paused: Fire Dragon

I’m going to ‘pause’ the story again for a side-bar moment of self-indulgent fluff. Since the blog is about getting to know ‘Mistress T’ more intimately I’ll tell you more about the ingredients that make me who I am.

Although I don’t normally go in for all the horoscope hooey I possess undeniable specific characteristics of both Taurus and Fire Dragon:

  • Innovative
  • Enterprising
  • Flexible
  • Self-assured
  • Brave
  • Passionate
  • Conceited
  • Tactless
  • Scrutinizing
  • Quick-tempered

You don’t have to dig too deep to see that this describes me pretty well. There’s a fine line between ‘Self-Assured’ and ‘Conceited’ though…and as for the famous ‘temper’ found in both Taurus & Fire Dragon, weeellll, I wouldn’t have a problem if some people didn’t make me so fucking angry! ha ha. Seriously, I feel the fire inside of me. I love that I have this fire, it drives me forward, it gives me passion, it makes me strong, but so far I haven’t violently hurt anyone by losing my temper. I don’t throw things or yell. Maybe I should? My Mother always cautioned me to keep control of my temper as she apparently had a violent temper in her teens. With all of that fire inside of me it has to go somewhere, right?

I dance. Maybe not particularly well, but I love to dance. Gay bars and fetish parties mostly.

As for being innovative and enterprising, this has been clearly true since a young age. For example, I rolled & sold single cigarettes to other teens while in high school (I have never smoked myself) and I’ve always been able to find work/create work and make money. I think I’m very lucky, but my step-father tells me “Luck is when opportunity meets preparation”.

As for bravery, the only difference between bravery and stupidity is how it turns out. For example, I once calmly put myself physically between some thugs that were beating up a friend, making eye contact and asking them firmly to ‘please stop’. It created a moment where my friend could get up from where he was being kicked and escape just before the police arrived. It was only brave because I didn’t get hit. If I had been hit, everyone would have said I was stupid to do that.

I take risks. I’m not afraid of failure because it’s all living and learning. Although I’m goal oriented I really believe that’s it’s about the journey, not the destination. I find humor in bad situations and I can laugh at myself.

It seems strange to write about me, me, me…I wonder when the story gets caught up to current time what I’ll write about? At this point I’m at about 12 years ago and a lot has happened in those 12 years so I guess I won’t have to worry about it for awhile…

Here’s a little more on the DRAGON (in my case, it’s pretty darn accurate):


The key to the Dragon personality is that Dragons are the free spirits of the Zodiac. Conformation is a Dragon’s curse. Rules and regulations are made for other people. Restrictions blow out the creative spark that is ready to flame into life. Dragons must be free and uninhibited. The Dragon is a beautiful creature, colorful and flamboyant. An extroverted bundle of energy, gifted and utterly irrepressible, everything Dragons do is on a grand scale – big ideas, ornate gestures, extreme ambitions. However, this behavior is natural and isn’t meant for show. Because they are confident, fearless in the face of challenge, they are almost inevitably successful. Dragons usually make it to the top. However, Dragon people be aware of their natures. Too much enthusiasm can leave them tired and unfulfilled. Even though they are willing to aid when necessary, their pride can often impede them from accepting the same kind of help from others. Dragons’ generous personalities give them the ability to attract friends, but they can be rather solitary people at heart. A Dragon’s self-sufficiency can mean that he or she has no need for close bonds with other people.

Here’s a little more on the FIRE DRAGON if you’re interested:


The Fire Dragon is a powerful force to be reckoned with. This is a Dragon doubled! The Fire Dragon can move from calm and collected to combustible in a matter of seconds. In some ways the Fire Dragon is his or her own worst enemy. These Dragons cannot help feeling they are valuable and all-knowing. When they are right their vehemence and vigor is an asset to the cause, and though they value objectivity, they do not always employ the best decision-making measures, and sometimes jump to the wrong conclusion. They also suffer from recklessness and quick tempers. Yet, when they do keep their temper, emotions, and rivaling spirit under control, they emanate a commanding influence on other people.

Mistress T Red Garter

Feelin' the FIRE? Grrrr! 😉

BDSM Beginnings continued…

…continued from the last post…and I know some of you have been anxiously awaiting more of this story…after I fisted her and played with her for a bit longer the male Dom asked if I’d like my boots shined. His little smirk and her moans of excitement led me to understand that this too would be something very kinky.

He released her and sat down in a chair, gesturing me to sit beside him and watch first. She fetched some regular shoe shine supplies and went to work, half naked on her knees at his feet. This alone was erotic and dirty enough to satisfy but soon she was riding his boot with her pussy pushed down on the toe, humping his boot like a dog, moaning like a whore. The growing crowd loved this display and she loved being watched. When she had properly ‘shined’ both of his boots she moved on to mine. The toe of my boot was more slender and she was able to fuck my boot like a cock, taking most of the toe to my ankle deep in her hungry, freshly fisted cunt.

The male Dom then asked if I would like to know what it felt like to get flogged. I was up for pretty much anything at that point and as if in a dream I found myself dropping my pants. Standing on a small platform, leaning forward against a slightly inclined board I was bare-assed and ready. The slut who had just fucked my boots was holding my hand, telling me what to expect, reminding me of safe words and being very sweet. Just past her I made eye contact with my now very freaked out platonic male friend in a sea of faces all watching the newbie (me) getting flogged for the first time.

Also in view was a women in a sex swing getting fucked very hard. On the floor to my left was a naked man in a gimp mask, kneeling on a little blanket jerking off. Further to my left there was a women on on fours getting fucked from behind by one man while another one fucked her face and a third video-taped them. Last, but certainly not least, over my shoulder I could see the male Dom, clad in all leather, holding a huge, heavy, mean looking flogger. He told me to turn away and I felt the weight of it come down on me…on my back, against my ass, with increasing intensity. It was glorious. I started to sweat. I felt so alive. I’ll never forget that night.

My friend & I laid awake most of the night processing what had happened. He and I stayed platonic friends.

I traded contact information with the male Dom and he became an important friend. I’ll tell you more about him later.

For those who are confused about me being a Domme who enjoyed being flogged, let me explain further. I am first and foremost an exhibitionist. Although I am naturally Dominant I am open-minded and feel that Dommes should know what it feels like to be a sub, even if that doesn’t really ‘do it’ for them. I make a lousy sub, by the way. I’m a real brat, too strong willed and stubborn. I also hate pain. In the words of the great Mae West: “I’ll try anything once, twice if I like it, three times to make sure.”

MistressT FemDom Fetish Goddess Ass less Pantyhose

Bottoms Up!

BDSM beginnings…

While I was working as a receptionist at that big company in my early 20’s a coworker introduced me to an interesting website. I think it was called “Bianca’s Woods” or something like that. It was a place where people could write sexy stories and post them for others to read.

Most of the stories were the usual sort of thing but one story really caught my attention. It was a long story written from a woman’s perspective. She needed work and took a job as a maid/servant in a fancy mansion. She sensed something was unusual there but couldn’t place it. When she finally met the owner of the house and her real boss she was so nervous she spilled his drink. He took her over his knee and spanked her. What followed was a slippery slope of events that climaxed in a very intense scene…she was prepared, presented, strung up, stimulated, and fucked by a group of people. The interesting part was that it was all written from HER perspective, and it was very consensual. The reader could ride the emotional roller coaster with her, her shame, her wrestling with this side of herself, her giving into it, etc. There were various elements of BDSM, electro stimulation, pain & pleasure and in the end, even a dog!

The same author wrote other stories, all from the woman’s perspective. Her struggle with giving herself, submitting.

I found this theme very exciting. Submission. Control. Domination. Pain & pleasure. I wanted to explore but I didn’t know how…but just like most, I found my way, didn’t I? *grin*

A couple years later I was in San Fransisco with a platonic male friend. I asked the concierge at our hotel to recommend a place that would blow my mind. All I wanted was an address, no other info. We ended up at ‘The Power Exchange”. If you’re familiar with this place now, understand that it was very different 12 or 13 years ago when I first went. I’ll describe it:

The Power Exchange was a live sex/BDSM kink club. The first room we walked into, hearing loud music coming from somewhere beyond, was a medieval themed room with a big wooden table & fireplace…and a huge viking looking man flogging a women tied to a cross…her male partner on the other side of the cross kissing her and stimulating her front. It was a powerful introduction and I watched in awe for the first time, someone being flogged and whipped. Each time she was struck her body moved so beautifully.

We continued on and each room we entered offered more to overload my senses. Cages, peep holes, a room full of TV’s playing porn movies, people masturbating, people fucking, people watching, people being Dominated…a women lying on a bed with about a dozen men fondling her…eventually we came across a scene that many others were watching. A beautiful woman was tied to a cross being punished by a somewhat mean looking man dressed all in leather. She was instructed to explain to the crowd why she was being punished: she had burnt his toast that morning. A rumble of laughter went through the crowd and I smiled too. That’s when he looked directly at me and asked if I wanted to come into the scene.

I didn’t even turn to look at my poor, freaked out friend, I just slide under the chain and into their space. They both quickly explained that this was all consensual, explained safe words, etc. He handed me a vibrator and instructed me to touch it to the cloths pegs that were attached all over her nipples, breasts and pussy. I loved the way she reacted. She was very animated & vocal. She kept looking me in the eye and smiling between screams of pain. He then put a rubber glove on my hand, lubed me up and instructed me to fist her. I did and it was like having the whole world in my hand. By now the crowd had grown to dozens, all watching the naive newbie play in public for the first time. I must have been quite the sight.

I realize at this point I have your full attention but I also understand that attention spans are short these days so I will leave it there for now and continue later. There is more, oh-so-much more *grin*.

MistressT Femdom Fetish Goddess in red & black

Decending into the depths of depraivity

Young & dumb in the BIG city

Shortly after arriving in Vancouver I ‘landed’ what I thought was a good job working in a call center. I had had several sales jobs at that point and I was pretty good. I was aggressive and competitive.

My life story is full of important meetings and it never ceases to amaze me how meeting one person can change so much so quickly.

One day as I was coming into the building with my hands full a man held the door for me…then as we waited for the elevator he overheard me telling a coworker that I had just moved from Nova Scotia. In the elevator he gave me his card and offered to help me in this new city. I thought he was cute so I called and we went for lunch. He immediately started talking about his wife & kids which of course freaked me out since I had just had my heart broken by a married man.

He was all business, explaining that he had a lot of contacts and wanted to help me find better employment. I avoided him for weeks but he was persistent and finally he didn’t pussy foot around, told me that working in a call center was a dead end job & he was offering me a real opportunity. A reception position in a big, growing company that would pay 70% of the cost of night classes to do whatever I wanted. He told me I would be a fool to turn it down. He said that he could see potential in me and he didn’t want to see it wasted. I still suspected he wanted to get into my pants but I went for it anyway.

We remained friends for years and he was never inappropriate with me. He always just helped me with my career. 10 years later I ran into his best friend and in an intoxicated ramble he told me that I was blind to not see how much his friend has always been in love with me but would never cheat on his wife…that all of it, the jobs, the help, was just to keep me close to him. I was shocked.

The job, by the way, took me on a path that wasn’t right for me but I tried. I tried to be a good girl. I went to night school for sales, marketing and public relations while working in a big, conservative office by day. I went from reception to marketing and then moved around to a few other companies in sales. I always did very well, but I always hated it. I felt like I was doing what my parents would want me to do. I was climbing the corporate ladder.

Being very untrue to myself I also found myself in a relationship with a very nice man who wanted to marry me and start a family. We had picked out the engagement ring when out of the blue, the married guy who broke my heart called. He tracked me down. He was coming to Vancouver on business and wanted to go for dinner. I went and it was only dinner, although it was difficult to not go back to his hotel room. I still felt the same and so did he. It was gut-wrenching. He was very unhappily married but would stay for the child.

Two weeks later I had moved out on my own and ended the relationship with the nice guy. I didn’t love him the way he deserved to be loved.

MistressT corporate business woman

Corporate Whore, selling my soul.

Why I really moved to Vancouver…

When asked why I moved to Vancouver I often say ‘weather & economy’ but the real reason is that I fell in love with a married man. Here’s the story:


I was 20. He was 10 years older and the owner of the company I worked for. He was married with a 2 year old. After a drunken office party fling that should have ended there we became more involved. We had a month together right away as his wife and child were out of town. We fell in love. He filed for divorce and moved out. Then flip flopped for 10 months until he finally decided (and rightly so) that his child was more important…you see his wife took the child far away and wouldn’t come back unless they reconciled.

I moved away to give him space to do the right thing. I wasn’t about to be his long term mistress and that’s exactly what would have happened if I stayed. The attraction was so great we simply could not stay away from each other.

It was the hardest thing that I had ever gone through…and 15 years later I can tell you it’s still the hardest thing I’ve gone through. Heart break. Losing the person I felt such a special connection to. Anyone who has had their heart broken understands how intense this type of pain can be. There’s certainly been enough songs and poems written about heart break. We all recognize that this pain can be even worse than having a loved one pass away.

So, with a freshly broken heart I packed up what little I had and with $1000 in the bank I moved to Vancouver just before my 21st birthday. I stayed with distant family that I didn’t really know for the 1st two months while I got settled.

Every cloud has a silver lining though. Moving to Vancouver was one of the smartest things I’ve ever done. Also, the married guy convinced me of something important: that I could do ANYTHING I chose to do. He saw potential in me and lit a fire that has never gone out. There are few things as powerful in this life as making yourself completely vulnerable to someone, exposing yourself, giving yourself over to someone and THEN to have that person tell you that you are more wonderful than you ever imagined.

Without that I’m not sure that I would have done all that I have with my life. It drove me to reach higher, to try harder and to believe in myself. Other than luck, reaching higher, trying harder and believing in yourself is pretty much all that separates the successful from the unsuccessful, in my humble opinion.

MistressT FemDom Fetish Goddess Rooftop Vancouver Canada

On top of the world in Vancouver

Story paused: London Rubber Ball

I’m pausing the story to share a photo I just received from the lovely Nina Birch in London. It includes herself and the diabolical Fetish Liza (red latex) and Moi.

MistressT NinaBirch FetishLiza Skin Two Rubber Ball in London 2011

Fetish Liza, Nina Birch & Mistress T in London for Skin Two Rubber Ball May 28, 2011

I had an amazing time recently in London. This photo was taken the night that we all shared a hotel room and attended the Skin Two Rubber Ball on May 28. 2011.

Just a couple days before we had all been at The English Mansion’s FemDom Ball. I met some amazing people (these ladies included), made some great business connections and personal friendships. Maybe in a future blog entry when the story gets caught up to this point I’ll delve into more detail…like the hot tub scene that seemed to be the highlight for many…

More on Nina:

More on Fetish Liza:

More on The English Mansion where you’ll find films featuring Nina, Liza and myself (although not all together at the same time):

Teen Hormones

I almost entitled this entry “Sport Fucking”.

Wikipedia says this about hormones: “In essence, it is a chemical messenger that transports a signal from one cell to another.” It’s important to remember that we are really just animals. Evolved & complex yes, but really just animals. We’re hard-wired to reproduce. It’s natural for us to be horny, to want to mate. It’s our big, beautiful brains that keep us from fucking like monkeys. We learn to control our impulses to adjust our behavior…but when you’re young, with little life experience and feeling horny is new & powerful it can be difficult to avoid fucking like a monkey. Especially combined with the high of exploring your power over men.


That’s a long way of saying that I was very promiscuous, which Wikipedia explains this way: “In humans, promiscuity refers to undiscriminating casual sex with many sexual partners.” They are careful to note this behavior only has a name for humans because no one ever judges a monkey for being a slut.


I kind of feel about my teen promiscuity like Charlie Sheen feels about his party binges: proud of it. It was epic. And I know full well, as Charlie does, that others judge…but many of those who judge have never had that kind of fun. They’ve never LIVED. Some think Charlie is crazy. Me, I don’t care if he’s crazy. I don’t have to love EVERYTHING he’s said or done to love SOME of what he’s said and done. This isn’t really about Charlie, this is about making our own choices even when others poo-poo it. It’s about being true to yourself and as long as you’re not hurting others, do what you want.


I bet you’re hoping I’ll finish my soapbox rant and just give you the juicy details of my teen sex life?


I’ll share a little. Why not?


When I was 16/17 I had a 3some with 2 guys who were best friends that lasted for about 6 months. We were all close friends but had no illusions that we were boyfriend(s) girlfriend. It was just sex with friends and it was great. It only ended when one of them started a serious relationship with another great gal who he later married.


I’ve really just run out of time to write this blog entry right now but I’ll spend some time thinking about all the great sex I had as a teen and if there’s anything worth sharing maybe I’ll add it in later. It’s enjoyable thinking back to that time. Fun.


MistressT fetish goddess asslicking ass worship

Happy Slut

Let’s get a little dirtier

I realize that many reading this would rather read the smut than my la-la childhood memories…so here’s some sexier stuff (maybe?).


Would you like to know how I lost my virginity? Sure ya would.


Remember that I come from a small rural place where teens drink & have sex to combat boredom. I had always been a good kid and my parents were preoccupied with their crumbling relationship so I had a lot of freedom. In fact, by 15 I was rarely home. I drank and partied, crashing at friends places or simply staying out all night.


I met a boy named Todd who I thought was cute. We had a lot of mutual friends and the more time we spent together the more attracted I became to him. I had sort of kissed boys before and I had been masturbating for a couple of years but I was still very much discovering my sexuality (still am!). The first time he kissed me a rush of pleasure washed over me head-to-toe with such force I thought I would melt or catch on fire…or both. He lowered me down on the floor and pressed himself against me and I could feel his hardness through our cloths. It was the first time I felt truly and intensely turned on. That was it, it was brief but it seriously messed with my head and I laid in bed all that night soaked, touching myself, wide awake and hungry for more.


In the coming weeks we had an opportunity to be alone for a few hours in a friends camper and we had oral sex. It was my first time and I loved it. He licked my pussy and I ‘went down’ on him. We ‘made out’ and it was soooo hot & exciting. I was hooked. Even though we didn’t have intercourse I consider that to be when I lost my virginity because it was so much more significant than the event where I actually had intercourse with my boyfriend later on.


Funny thing about Todd…I ran into him 15 years later. He had had a rough life. We spent hours catching up over drinks and then we went back to his place. We spent the night together but there wasn’t really much in the way of sex. He wanted to hold me and look at me, that’s pretty much what he did for hours…just telling me how beautiful I am.


MistressT Fetish Goddess

Looking back...

Reaching way back…

The beginning seems to be the appropriate place to start with this tale.

I was raised in rural Nova Scotia, Canada. I was surrounded by farms and apple trees. I had a poor upbringing but all my basic needs were covered. My parents did the best they could with what they had. My grandparents helped out when things got really tough. I went to church but never liked it. I did well in school but was rarely pressured to do better. I was socially awkward and lonely as a youngster. I was always more drawn to adults/teachers than to my peers. I was bullied or ignored by kids my own age. I never felt like I belonged there. When I grew up I wanted to be an accomplished actress or singer…but I never wanted to be so famous that I would appear in tabloids or be recognized when in public.

I competed in public speaking and usually won. I took every opportunity to be in school plays or anything just to get up in front of a crowd of people. My cousins & I used to put together little performances for our families. I’ve always been an exhibitionist and performer.

I was always good at making and saving money. I created or found small jobs around the community to get paid for, I babysat, worked on farms, house sat, cleaned people’s houses, etc. When I was 15 I rolled and sold single cigarettes to other students at school. I never smoked myself. Jobs fell in my lap as well. At 15/16 I was offered a job in an optical store where my Mother was buying glasses. I worked there on and off for a year making a few dollars more than minimum wage. It was a grown up job and I was proud to have it.

When I was in my early teens my stable and fairly normal family life started to change. With my older brother and I becoming old enough to be more independent my Mother started to live her life again and she was not happy with my Father. It took a few years of drama but they finally divorced when I was 16. I was closest with my Mother so I moved to Halifax with her which was a significant event in my life. I became a city girl and was introduced to all kinds of new people and experiences.

I did not fit in at my new school and I spent most of grade 11 going to bars and partying with girls from another school. My Mother and I were more like friends and I had all the freedom of an adult. No discipline or pressure to do well in school. I was friendly with my teachers and worked in the cafeteria at school. I received very high grades in English and even tutored ESL students in Shakespeare. English wasn’t their first language so Shakespeare seemed impossible to them but I would act out all the roles for them until they understood and at least brought their grades up from failing to passing.

In my final year, grade 12, I hated going to school. I had no friends my age in the school I went to. I still partied a lot but I also had two other part time jobs outside of my cafeteria job. I worked at a coffee shop and at a fancy ladies shop in the most posh hotel in town. I missed a lot of classes for work and at the end of the year found myself dangerously close to not graduating. It was all reliant on one class: computer science. I had failed everything in that class all year. I had been attracted to the teacher from that class and had had an awkward experience with him months earlier. He had been tutoring me in math and I started sweating so much I was leaving wet finger marks on the paper. The sweat was just pouring off of me. I thought it was because of hormones…I’m not sure what he thought but he gave me one of his clean t-shirts to wear instead of my knit sweater. It was thrilling wearing his shirt. It felt naughty. That night I became very ill and realized I had been sweating because I had a fever! After a couple of days home sick I returned his t-shirt, clean & folded.

The night before the exam I was at the bar with my girlfriend. There was no point in studying, I was going to fail and probably go to summer school. I felt a hand on my shoulder and my last name in my ear followed by “studying hard for that exam tomorrow I see!”. I turned to see that teacher smiling as he walked away. I nearly threw up. My heart was pounding. I was drinking underage in a bar and I had screwed up. I went after him, found him and offered to buy him a drink (cheeky, hm?). He put his arm around me and said to his friend: “This is my favorite student.” I was shocked as I figured he thought I was a stupid dork. I then explained that there was no point in me studying as we both knew I didn’t have a hope of passing the exam…and it would mean summer school for me. He then advised me to write the exam as if I knew every answer. To hold my head up and look confident. He didn’t need anybody asking him any questions when I passed.

I learned a valuable lesson that night.

MistressT brat schoolgirl fetish photo

Not my official school uniform

Blog Entry #1 (daringly original title)

Mistress T too hot for her Mac

This is how I always look when writing my blog. Always.

The first of many? We shall see.

Let me introduce myself and let you know what you can expect in this blog:

At this writing I am a 35 year old fetish film producer living in Vancouver, Canada. I’m a fetish porn star. Of course, I’m so much more and that’s what this blog is all about. The person behind the persona…although the persona is an intimate view into a very real part of me. Doing what I do is my artistic expression. It’s my outlet for my complex sexuality…but let’s not get too dirty too quickly. I am also typing this topless, with flannel PJ bottoms & socks with doggies on them. I don’t lay around in lingerie.

I get a lot of curious emails from fans who want to know more about me. They ask where I come up with all this smut I talk about? They are trying to figure out why they are so drawn to me. Maybe this blog will fulfill that need for some…that hunger to know even more about me than what I lay out bare and exposed in my videos.

I will talk a lot about the path that brought me here. That seems to be the first questions asked and it’s a long topic I never get tired of talking about. It’s an interesting tale. One that is too long for one blog entry so I’ll hand it out in mouthfuls, leaving you curious for more until we get caught up…and at the same time making you a part of the path because in many ways, the journey has just begun! Just by reading this blog you have become a part of the story. Welcome.

My favorite Mae West quote and life mantra: “You only live once, but if you do it right, once is enough.”

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