Honoring Gaspman’s Memory

I loved Gaspman so much.

I loved Gaspman so much.

My very close friend, known to many as “Gaspman”, recently passed after an inspiring battle with cancer. He was days away from his 59th birthday.

The name “Gaspman” came from his hundreds of legendary facesitting scenes on Club Stiletto. He was also famous in the pony riding & shoulder riding world, known for his impressive strength & endurance.

He demonstrated that a man could gracefully submit to a woman while being extraordinarily strong, both physically & mentally. He was a gentleman with impeccable manners who truly worshiped women. He worshiped from a place of worthiness, not worthlessness, pampering & caring for women in a way that was endearing & respectful. He was like a warrior that could fiercely protect you in battle but then shower you with the most gentle kisses.

We worked together for years creating FemDom films. They were often ‘party shoots’ where we’d have some drinks and food between filming scenes and continue on for hours after filming was wrapped. We had SO much fun. He loved to entertain & socialize. He was charismatic and adventurous. He became very close friends, like family to me. He was always supportive and encouraging. A very positive influence in my life. Losing him has been one of the most painful things I’ve ever gone through.

In the FemDom fetish film world he leaves a legacy. He started making FemDom vids about 12 years ago before the technology was easy to use, before it was even as acceptable as it is now. He did it out of pure passion for the fetishes he loved, mainly shoulder riding/pony riding & ass worship…but he loved most anything to do with worshiping women. You’ll find him in hundreds of scenes happily worshiping many beautiful Goddesses.

He lived a full life…and this is important. In his 20’s he had been in a successful rock bank that played in front of thousands of adoring fans. After he had a successful and meaningful ‘vanilla’ career. He was an amazing son, brother, uncle, father, partner & friend. He loved to cook, especially meat and rich, delicious foods. He loved to have drinks with friends and in his younger rock n’ roll days I’m sure he enjoyed that lifestyle to the fullest too, if ya know what I mean? With that in mind I asked him near the end if he had known back then that his indulgent lifestyle may one day cause him to have a shorter lifespan if he would have changed anything? He said without hesitation: no. He lived an amazing life, several lives really. He lived fully, passionately, positively. He had FUN, he laughed, he brought joy & love to many….and he will be missed by many.

About a year ago I made this little video featuring him:

http://www.mistresst.net/freemovie/mystery-gaspmans-black-eye

At that time he had heroically won his first battle with cancer & had been doing well…but had just started to have some indications that maybe there was something else wrong.

He continued to fight bravely and was an inspiration. When he felt well enough I would come over & listen to music with him on his amazing sound system in his living room. This blog post about music appreciation was about him:

http://www.mistresst.net/blog/my-personal-life/music-appreciation-moment/

When he wasn’t feeling well enough I’d just lay in bed with him watching TV. Even on those days, when his energy was low he was brimming over with positivity.

The last day I saw him was a great day. We had cake & champagne for a family birthday. He hadn’t had a drink in a very very long time so it was especially indulgent for him. We laughed & talked as if everything was fine. I’m glad that that is my last memory of him. Him doing what he always enjoyed so much: eating & drinking with loved ones. The simple things in life, right?

Best,
Mistress T

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That’s life.

Life has it’s ups & downs…

Yesterday I was invited for dinner with the Club Stiletto crew. These people are like family. We’ve been filming together for over six years but our personal friendship has grown into something even more special. Shoots these days are as much about personally connecting as they are about work…& the experiences are always positive & enriching.

Yesterday I brought along my boy toy. The one who loves my feet & ball busting. The boy I wrote about just over a month ago: http://www.mistresst.net/blog/uncategorized/sex-cuckolding-in-reality/

He’s still in the picture & things have moved along…to what, I am reluctant to try to define or label. It’s nice. I’m happy.

We filmed a couple quick scenes & took some pics then got on with the drinks, food & fantastic conversation.

Here’s some snaps:

Mistress T pony riding.

A nice day for a ride on the Club Stiletto pony!

Mistress T kneeing a lucky slave in the nuts.

Nothing says “I love you” like a knee in the gonads.

Mistress T & slave.

Isn’t it romantic? I know, even I’m surprised at how erotic ball abuse can be…

So as you can see from the ball abuse pics…our relationship might be a little unusual. I never thought that I would actually find ball busting arousing. I do: with him. We go out dancing at fetish parties. I kick him in the balls & he gets hard. It turns me on & we make out. The way he reacts when I abuse his balls is so fucking sexy, so passionate. He loves it & surrenders to it beautifully. He also loves my feet & worships them during sex which sends me over the moon. My feet are certainly an erogenous zone.

Anyway, I’m sure you’re not interested in all the details of my sex life…wait, that’s probably all you’re interested in…but there’s more to life than sex…

We had a fun evening with friends & left mid evening a little tipsy. I wanted to continue so we made the rounds, going to see a friend who was singing at a bar, going to see our pal Samantha Mack who was DJing at a strip club & we ended the night at my favorite gay bar silly dancing to fantastic music while my boy got hit on by cute gay fellas. My boy isn’t exactly 100% straight so this all added to the fun.

Back at my place we snacked on home made salsa he had made & brought to me as a gift. We went to bed & he woke me up in the morning with a kiss & “Good morning beautiful”. I confess, it nearly brought a tear to my eye. As hard core as I can seem in my vids I am a softy & a romantic in other ways. There’s not many gals who wouldn’t want to wake up like that.

I said at the beginning that life has its ups & downs. This afternoon I got a message from a dear friend that his cat had passed away. I made my way over to his place. I held him & cried with him. I listened to his heart breaking story of his pets last hour. I then had to help him figure out what to do with the expired cat. It’s unlawful to bury an animal in Vancouver so I checked with the SPCA & confirmed we could bring him there for cremation. The cat was wrapped in a towel but I felt he should go in a plastic bag. I closed the door so my friend wouldn’t watch while I put his beloved pet in the bag. I had never handled a dead animal like that & was surprised by the weight & stiffness. I carried the bag carefully to the car & off we drove to the SPCA. I sent my friend to look at the dogs while I waited for assistance. There was a long wait & I sat there with a dead cat in a garbage bag on my lap while other people adopted their new pets. It was surreal.

Life isn't always sunshine & lollipops. Sometimes it's about waiting with a dead cat on your lap to arrange cremation.

Life isn’t always sunshine & lollipops. Sometimes it’s about waiting with a dead cat on your lap to arrange cremation.

I spent hours with my friend until it was time for him to go play hockey and just as I arrived home I got a message from another friend who just had her heart broken by a boy. Off I went to offer what comfort I could. It’s a brave person who can love with all their heart knowing the potential for pain & heart ache.

Tomorrow I have a friends daughters bat mitzvah in the morning & another friends wedding in the evening.

This is life. People love & lust, pets die, hearts get broken, daughters grow up, people get married…I am no different than many of you reading this. I hope my blog serves as a reminder that porn stars are people with real lives, not just objects or fuck dolls.

It’s time for bed. It’s been a long day of being a supportive friend but I wouldn’t have it any other way. I love my work, I really do…but the friendships I have in my life give my life real meaning. I love being the 1st one called when support is needed.

xo

She who is also Mistress T

Members site: http://www.MistressT.net
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Blog: http://www.MistressT.net/blog/
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