The ups & ‘downs’ of filming with civilians

"Is that thing going to get hard?"

“Is that thing going to get hard?”

I have a lot of interesting stories about filming with fans, friends & regular folks. In case you didn’t know already: I don’t hire professional performers. I live in Vancouver, not LA, there aren’t even pro’s here to hire (that I know of).

Each guy has his own story, interests, quirks, etc. Some guys I end up filming with on a regular basis & they’re great. I like the authenticity I get from filming with civilians. Sometimes they kind of flop on the first go. This is one of those stories.

He applied like any other. He sounded good, his pics showed a decent enough figure & a big enough cock…although it was not fully erect. Sometimes it’s hard for guys to take good selfies, so I didn’t think much of it at the time.

He was visiting from another city. I suggested we go for dinner to get acquainted. Over dinner he spoke in length about another Mistress he had been seeing whom he was overly infatuated with. It seems he felt they were at a cross roads where clearer boundaries needed to be defined or they needed to take the relationship in a more personal direction. It sounded like he would only really be satisfied with a more personal direction.

*Insert groan here*

I hate situations like this. I’ve been there with clients & most of the Pro Dommes I know have been there too, in one way or another. Sometimes lines get blurry. If you’ve sessioned hours & hours with a regular client & you genuinely enjoy it & like them…the client can start to feel like the relationship is more personal than professional. They can start to resent paying by the hour. Sometimes clients & Dommes end up in real-life romantic relationships if the feelings are mutual. Rules get bent or broken. It can cause confusion.

I inserted that *groan* because I haven’t a clue what this guy’s Mistress is feeling. I have no idea if he’s a delusional & obsessed or if she has led him on maliciously…or if she is in love with him…I-have-no-idea. So it’s tricky for me to play the therapist when I have no idea what I’m really dealing with…and he very much wanted my advice & opinions. Awkward.

So we try to film a scene after dinner¬† (and after talking about his dilemma for a couple of hours). No surprise: he can’t get an erection. Not even a flinch. It is the softest penis I think I have ever felt. After a little while I ask if he thinks this is going to work…he suggests maybe if he tries himself to get it hard it might work. Sexy as hell, right? I ask if he’d like me to leave: he says yes!

So I find myself sitting in the next room while this guy is wanking himself thinking: it’s lucky I have a strong sense of self worth or it might be a bit of a blow to the ol’ ego to be asked to leave so a guy can get his dick hard. All hail Mistress T: erection destroyer!

I few minutes later I hear a weak “I think it’s hard!” & I pop my head in to see a quickly disappearing micro erection. Like a real erection but much softer.

I called it a wrap. He paid me well as an apology for wasting my time, confessing the whole thing was just an attempt to distract himself from the other Mistress.

And so it goes. Ya win some, you lose some. Fortunately I win way more often *smile*.

Best,
Mistress T

Members site: http://www.MistressT.net
PPV: http://www.clips4sale.com/23869
Blog: http://www.MistressT.net/blog/
Twitter: http://twitter.com/#!/MistressTdotnet

England! (London, UK)

dress_bum_outMistress T in lingerie.Mistress T in stockings showing feet.

I’m planning my next trip to England & here’s the important info you need BEFORE you email me with any questions: you’re going to have to pay to apply.

That’s right. A $50 tribute is required before I’ll respond to your inquiries. (I give you lots of options to make the tribute).

Why? Because I’m a one-woman show. I do everything without admin assistance, including reading & responding personally to emails. It may not always be the best use of my time but I think fans should know when they email me they are communicating only with me. By requiring a small tribute to apply to see me in London I hope to cut back on the usual crushing volume & time-wasters…thus freeing up more time for those who deserve my attention!

I’ll answer a few basic questions here then give you the many easy options to pay before you email to apply:

#1. I will be in England within the next 3 months. I will have some time in London as well as outside of London.

#2. My private & social rate is high. You’ll need a generous budget. 50% deposit required if accepted.

#3. At this point I don’t think I’ll be needing any more film slaves but even if that is your wish you’ll still need to pay to apply with the $50 tribute.

#4. No intercourse, oral sex/nude face sitting or hard sports.

Ways to pay $50 tribute:

-Tribute button on my clips store: http://www.clips4sale.com/23869 (Clip cash card should work even if you don’t have a credit card)
-$50 worth of vids from my clips store: http://www.clips4sale.com/23869
-Get a premium membership to my site: http://www.MistressT.net
-$50 gift card from Amazon.com (sent to email address below)
-$50 worth of gifts from my Amazon wish list: http://www.amazon.com/registry/wishlist
If you only have PayPal this will work:
-$50 micro-loan through Kiva: http://www.mistresst.net/blog/uncategorized/loan-to-a-worthwile-cause-get-free-porn/

Or a gift card for my favorite spa (paypal):

http://www.mirajhammam.com/gift-certificates/

Lastly, if you must, mail cash. Email me to ask for the mailing address.

HOW TO APPLY:

Send an email to MsT@MistressT.net:

#1. With proof of the tribute.

#2. Introducing yourself & your interests. Include references if you have them.

You can stop reading now, that was the really crucial info…but here’s a little extra:

My ideal client is one who has read many of my blog entries & feels a connection to me as a person, not an object (not just a porn star)…and feels excited about getting to know me further in person. This client indeed worships me as Mistress T & has enthusiastically enjoyed many of my vids but again, also sees me as a real, multidimensional person. This client values my time, respects me & is a gentleman. He is open to letting me know him as well & hopes for our time together to be mutually enjoyable. Our rendezvous will likely have a social element to it, a walk, dining together, shopping or some other outing or entertainment: a chance to get acquainted. Our private time may include tease & denial with potential release by my hand, maybe foot or leg worship, with or without hosiery…maybe water sports or other kinky or humiliating games. Maybe a role-play, mental game or even a bit of pain…or a lot of pain: ballbusting or such. Whatever the specific activities it is about creating an experience together.

Best,
Mistress T

Members site: http://www.MistressT.net
PPV: http://www.clips4sale.com/23869
Blog: http://www.MistressT.net/blog/
Twitter: http://twitter.com/#!/MistressTdotnet

Cartoon apology

So this kind of cool thing happened today: a guy emailed to ask me to release a certain vid for free. He said he was a big fan of the vids of mine he had watched for free. He didn’t mean to insult me, but like a lot of young men these days who have never paid for porn he really didn’t understand that what he was doing was wrong. Clueless, but not ill intentioned. So I sent him the link to my post about this sort of thing: http://www.mistresst.net/blog/my-personal-life/when-a-compliment-is-an-insult/

His response actually impressed me:

“So, when you sent me the link to your blog post, I read it and
understood why you were mad about me viewing free videos of you from
other sites. I also decided to read the rest of your blogs up to your
latest post (I’m so sorry about your loss).

The thought that was going through my mind after reading the posts
were, “This woman isn’t just some leather clad dominatrix on a camera.
She’s actually a very kind, funny, smart, caring woman. And you
disrespected her.”

I felt like crap. The way I was looking at it was that I like a lot of
indie movies and bands. And I would never pirate any of their work,
because they rely on that money because they’re not big productions.
And it’s also a way of me showing that I’m a true fan. Well, you’re
like that. You’re an indie production that I enjoy a lot, and I
insulted you because I wasn’t a true fan, because I was viewing your
vids on other sites, and basically taking away from you. So, for that
I am sorry.

The drawing I included in this email is my attempt at an apology gift.
I’m kind of an artist I guess.

So I decided maybe this was a good way to give you some good humor for
your day. I know a lotta my friends liked it when I drew em cartoon
style, so I hope maybe you will too. Sorry about 2 things in the
drawing, 1. The gimp’s pose, I’ve never drawn that pose before, so it
was new for me. 2. The line quality. I only have a cheap sharpie pen
to work with at the moment (being a recently graduated, unemployed 20
year old kinda sucks, especially since I can’t buy good art supplies
at the moment, lol).

So, case in point, I hope you enjoy the drawing. I made it with the
intention of it being more funny than pervy. And I hope you accept my
apology. You are not only a beautiful fetish filmmaker, but also a
wonderful person, and I know that now, and I’m sorry to have offended
you. When I get a job and start getting a steady income, I will start
paying to watch your full videos on your site like a real fan. :)”

mst

Best,
Mistress T

Members site: http://www.MistressT.net
PPV: http://www.clips4sale.com/23869
Twitter: http://twitter.com/#!/MistressTdotnet

Honoring Gaspman’s Memory

I loved Gaspman so much.

I loved Gaspman so much.

My very close friend, known to many as “Gaspman”, recently passed after an inspiring battle with cancer. He was days away from his 59th birthday.

The name “Gaspman” came from his hundreds of legendary facesitting scenes on Club Stiletto. He was also famous in the pony riding & shoulder riding world, known for his impressive strength & endurance.

He demonstrated that a man could gracefully submit to a woman while being extraordinarily strong, both physically & mentally. He was a gentleman with impeccable manners who truly worshiped women. He worshiped from a place of worthiness, not worthlessness, pampering & caring for women in a way that was endearing & respectful. He was like a warrior that could fiercely protect you in battle but then shower you with the most gentle kisses.

We worked together for years creating FemDom films. They were often ‘party shoots’ where we’d have some drinks and food between filming scenes and continue on for hours after filming was wrapped. We had SO much fun. He loved to entertain & socialize. He was charismatic and adventurous. He became very close friends, like family to me. He was always supportive and encouraging. A very positive influence in my life. Losing him has been one of the most painful things I’ve ever gone through.

In the FemDom fetish film world he leaves a legacy. He started making FemDom vids about 12 years ago before the technology was easy to use, before it was even as acceptable as it is now. He did it out of pure passion for the fetishes he loved, mainly shoulder riding/pony riding & ass worship…but he loved most anything to do with worshiping women. You’ll find him in hundreds of scenes happily worshiping many beautiful Goddesses.

He lived a full life…and this is important. In his 20’s he had been in a successful rock bank that played in front of thousands of adoring fans. After he had a successful and meaningful ‘vanilla’ career. He was an amazing son, brother, uncle, father, partner & friend. He loved to cook, especially meat and rich, delicious foods. He loved to have drinks with friends and in his younger rock n’ roll days I’m sure he enjoyed that lifestyle to the fullest too, if ya know what I mean? With that in mind I asked him near the end if he had known back then that his indulgent lifestyle may one day cause him to have a shorter lifespan if he would have changed anything? He said without hesitation: no. He lived an amazing life, several lives really. He lived fully, passionately, positively. He had FUN, he laughed, he brought joy & love to many….and he will be missed by many.

About a year ago I made this little video featuring him:

http://www.mistresst.net/freemovie/mystery-gaspmans-black-eye

At that time he had heroically won his first battle with cancer & had been doing well…but had just started to have some indications that maybe there was something else wrong.

He continued to fight bravely and was an inspiration. When he felt well enough I would come over & listen to music with him on his amazing sound system in his living room. This blog post about music appreciation was about him:

http://www.mistresst.net/blog/my-personal-life/music-appreciation-moment/

When he wasn’t feeling well enough I’d just lay in bed with him watching TV. Even on those days, when his energy was low he was brimming over with positivity.

The last day I saw him was a great day. We had cake & champagne for a family birthday. He hadn’t had a drink in a very very long time so it was especially indulgent for him. We laughed & talked as if everything was fine. I’m glad that that is my last memory of him. Him doing what he always enjoyed so much: eating & drinking with loved ones. The simple things in life, right?

Best,
Mistress T

Members site: http://www.MistressT.net
PPV: http://www.clips4sale.com/23869
Blog: http://www.MistressT.net/blog/
Twitter: http://twitter.com/#!/MistressTdotnet

 

 

I’m still here…

It’s been awhile since I’ve made a blog post. This is just a quick note to let you know I haven’t abandoned my blog.

I have been away the last couple of weeks: Mexico, Belize & New York City. I should be posting pics & telling you all about my trip…& I probably will…but not today.

Recently I lost a very close friend to cancer. The service is tomorrow & I’m hoping it will provide a catalyst for the healing process to begin. At the moment I’m just feeling heavy with sadness & having a hard time getting motivated to work. The sadness comes in waves so I’m still getting things done, just at a slower pace.

So, I’m still here & I’ll be okay. I’ll get my blog caught up soon, I certainly have a lot to say… & gradually, things will go back to business-as-usual. Thank you for your patience.

Best,

Mistress T

Members site: http://www.MistressT.net
PPV: http://www.clips4sale.com/23869
Blog: http://www.MistressT.net/blog/
Twitter: http://twitter.com/#!/MistressTdotnet