The urge to give up control…


I recently created a custom vid for a chastity enthusiast who wanted to take things to the next level. He requested three months worth of instructions. He wanted me to decide when he could release himself from chastity and cum. He made a few suggestions for humiliating tasks, cross dressing for example, putting things in his butt, cock and ball abuse, etc.

I didn’t think much of the request. It seemed to me to be something most fans would not be interested in but he paid the going rate for a custom vid, so I created it.

Chastity from a distance sort of works if the wearer is completely denied and the woman is the key holder, though that can be a bit of a dangerous thing. Chastity or orgasm control from a distance where there are opportunities for the slave to unlock himself and have a release…well, I’m skeptical, to be honest. Men are not known for having the most self control and I wouldn’t have any way of knowing if he cheats.

I incorporated tasks in the vid to keep tabs on his progress, for him to send me pics, for example, to send written reports. I also put forth a tax for cheating, a financial tribute to me if he messes up, though as I already said, how would I know? Trusting a stranger to be honest & pay if he cums when he’s not supposed to…well…

So I released the vid on my clips store and was shocked at the number of sales and emails that have come in in the first week. I’m dubious that most will stay on track for three months but we’ll see.

The curious thing for me is the urge to give up control. I can tell you that if someone tried to stop me from having orgasms or tried to have any control over how or when I came they’d likely soon find themselves picking their teeth up off the ground with broken fingers.

I’ve been in this gig for over a decade. I’m not naive but the oddness of some of it is still not lost on me & I can sometimes still be surprised. It’s easy to take things for granted: “Yes, of course men love being told when to cum, that’s what about 80% of my vids are about.” But then I really think about it & try to switch places. Giving the control to someone else with such an intimate, personal act. Why, tho?

I wonder if it starts for some by making a game of it? Jerking off to porn & holding off cumming until a certain point. Then the leap of having the woman in the vid tell you to cum. Hot, hot, hot. Ka-pow! Then, how about if she denies your orgasms too? All the better when you finally get to cum?

Anyway, random thoughts on a vid that has very quickly made it into clips4sale’s overall top 50. A vid that has sold better in the same time frame as a really hot sex scene. So my fans would prefer to see me clothed & telling them how & when to cum than see me fucking? Really? Okay then.

I wonder how many of those caged up fella’s make it through the three months? Anyone care to lay bets?


Here’s the link to buy it if you want to give it a go:


Mistress T

Members Site:

C4S (Buy vids or just send a TRIBUTE! I love random tributes!):



Canadian wish list: Click here

US wish list:

Who is the man who gets what u want?

Who made this mess? ....& who is going to clean it up???

Who made this mess?
….& who is going to clean it up???

Do you ever wonder who gets to be with me? Like really gets to be with me in the most intimate ways?

A few years ago I was fairly public about being single & looking but I wasn’t as vocal about my relationship when one did develop. Trying to balance some kind of private life with my public persona can be tricky. Part of me wants to keep some things just for myself & part of me wants y’all to know a lot about me to reduce the objectification of adult performers & sex workers. Like me shouting: “Hey, look at me! I’m a regular person like everyone else. I just have an unusual job. I grocery shop, I binge watch Netflix, I have complex relationships with family & friends, I’ve been in love, had my heart broken, I’ve made mistakes & hurt people I cared about, I wear flannel pj’s, I have opinions…I am a human, not just a sex doll with a pulse!”

Which brings me to this post…about my partner, which I know many of you are curious about. The reason I do it now is because I believe that he could actually help some of you. I’ll explain.

As you can well imagine, I’m not everyone’s cup of tea. Is it hard to be in a relationship with a “Dominatrix” or “Porn Star”? Sure, for some guys, however, my partner is the most emotionally mature man I’ve ever met. There is no power dynamic in our relationship. Neither is Dominant. We are equals. It’s the healthiest relationship I’ve ever been in.


He’s a high level communicator, intuitive, intelligent, empathetic, open-minded & sexually skilled. He’s self assured because he brings qualities to a relationship that are lacking in many men. How do most men learn to find & build a healthy relationship? How do most men learn to be better partners & lovers? Although the education exists it isn’t mainstream & I’ll tell you, unfortunately the majority of men aren’t skilled lovers or good partners. That’s just the harsh truth.


Over the years I’ve had requests from fans who wanted to serve my lovers or boyfriends. He’s been dabbling in that, chatting with & doing cam with a few of my fans. He’s rather good at it & enjoys it. It’s become a fun little hobby of his & sometimes we go on cam together with my fans which is fun for me too.



Beyond fetish sessions (laughing at my sissy cuckolds & slaves who get off on humiliation, forced bi or Financial Domination) I feel like some fans could benefit from a bit of coaching. This is the guy who ‘got’ ME. The guy who won my heart & sexually satisfies me. He is superior for that reason alone & all my cuckolds should worship him for that…but other guys who just want advice on how to communicate with women in real life, especially the type of women they crave: self-assured, successful, Dominate women. How to start & build a meaningful relationship with that kind of woman. How to please a woman sexually. Sex tips & individualized training on being a better partner & lover. He can do that & the domino effect is some women will be happier with better men. It’s ninja-level FemDom when you think about it: my good man training men to better please other women. I love it!


Sure, a lot of you will just want to go on cam for 10 minutes & jerk off while he laughs at you & tells you that you’re inferior…& it’s hot because he is a superior male who gets to fuck the woman you’ve been jerking off to for years…& it’s hot because he’s a good looking younger bi guy who gets off on the idea of making my cuckolds suck his cock & eat his cum…& yes, he is happy to do that…but he can also do so much more.

Of course ur not gay…but u can’t deny that’s a great ass…

Admit it, u like his ass...ur drawn to it...

Admit it, u like his ass…ur drawn to it… drawn to it that I bet u'd lick it if I told u to. Now it's all u'll be able to think about...

…so drawn to it that I bet u’d lick it if I told u to.
Now it’s all u’ll be able to think about…

For example, he can assist with erectile dysfunction & orgasm control…he’s a professional tantra practitioner & works solo or does double sessions with the very talented Olivia Jade ( Olivia is one of, if not the most highly regarded certified tantra practitioner in Canada. She helps a lot of men with ED & premature ejaculation, among other things. I highly recommend her services as well.

So, if you want to ‘serve my man’ (via skype cam or messenger/email ) in the usual dirty ways: cuckolding, forced bi, humiliation, jerk off instruction, cum eating instruction, etc. & you’re in a position to be generous, reach out to me & I’ll coordinate it. We can both be involved or you can serve just him. Or, if you think you could benefit from chatting with an evolved man who in my experienced opinion is an expert at having a healthy relationship AND is also highly sexually skilled…send me a note:

As I mentioned, this is just a fun little hobby for him & his time is limited so he will give his attention to those who are the most generous & enjoyable to deal with. This is a rare & valuable opportunity so conduct yourself accordingly. That means:

  • communicate clearly about what you’re hoping for/wanting/what you’re into
  • be ready & able to tribute to show you’re serious
  • be respectful & reliable

Those things go for me as well!

You only live once!

Mistress T

Members Site:




Canadian wish list: Click here

US wish list: Click here

The Joy of NOT Fucking Me.

Mistress T in Honeymoon Cuckolding.

Is that a close enough look cuck?

Does the title sound a bit strange to you? If so you might be one of the many men (or women?) who would really like to fuck me. Maybe you even fantasize about actually penetrating me or cumming inside of me?

Well, if you weren’t a few minutes ago you probably are now.

There is a whole other world though…men who get off on being denied sexually, being teased or ‘cuckolded’. Sometimes humiliation is part of it, being told they’re not worthy. Others just seem to have a frustration fetish. Some don’t even want to cum, they want total orgasm denial. Chastity can be a part of that.

Why? Why is anyone into anything they’re into?


You won’t be fucking me or cumming locked up in your cage!

I’m very amused by these scenario’s. I get session requests (in person & online) & custom vid requests where guys just want me to tease them with what they can’t have. Describe the sex acts they’ll never have with me, the intimate pleasures they’ll never experience. One of my favorite things to do is to get quite romantic, sensually intimate, without actually doing much of anything. Grazing my nails & fingertips along their skin & through their hair, breathing softly on their neck, moaning quietly in their ear, pressing myself against them so gently they almost don’t register the pressure…

Sweet seduction followed by…

Nothing really. Maybe a little giggle at their squirming & discomfort. A bright smile at their frustration.

Nude Mistress T & a slave.

So close yet so far…

It makes me feel powerful, I admit. Having a man want me so badly. To have his body & cock screaming to do what is supposed to be ‘natural’. To go against nature & to leave him humping the air pathetically.

That might be why I enjoy cuckolding so much. I get to feed my desire to deny a man sex with me while at the same time getting my sexual needs met by another. My cake & eat it too.

I love to say “no”. And I love to say “yes”.

Mistress T

Members site:

Step up your jerk off game!

Orgasms are FUN! So, I want you to have less of them:-)

Orgasms are FUN! So, I want you to have less of them:-)

I’ve been having awesome sex with a tantra guy recently who practices ‘not’ ejaculating. This is a part of the whole tantra thing, for guys anyway. Not me. I cum all I want…but I’m supposed to support him in not cumming. That’s certainly new for me…I’m REALLY good at making guys cum. Ha ha.

So I’ve been thinking about my fans & ‘edging’. I’ve blogged about this before & created vids designed to guide you through edging exercises. Bringing yourself close to orgasm, then backing off, building it up again, backing off & repeating several times until finally blowing your top. The result? A more intense orgasm & increased orgasm control which is helpful when you’re trying to please your lover sexually.

I’ve also read some interesting articles on the value of not coming for longer periods of time, days or even weeks. I won’t get into that now but will focus more on shorter-term orgasm control. Watching my vids is great during this process. Why? Because I want to sell you vids, obviously. Hey, I’m not running a charity here! Okay, seriously, watch whatever porn you want but you might find it easier to stick to me, feeling like we have a relationship & we’re on this journey together. You’ll know what to expect from me & will likely be able to control things better. If you search “orgasm control” in either my clips store or members site you’ll find a variety of vids appropriate for this exercise.

Clips store:

Members site:

This isn’t about abstinence. This isn’t about denying your sexual urges. This is about playing with your sexual energy and harnessing your sexual power. This is about making your jerk off adventures more interesting & fulfilling. This is about making you a better lover should the opportunity arise.

Here’s a quote from tantra guru Richard Ankhara:

“Don’t take it past 70% of the pleasure point, until you’re experienced. Keep breathing deeply, in through the nose, out through pursed lips. If you get too close, breathe out fast through your mouth, and suck the navel toward the spine pulling up the diaphragm. Visualize the sexual energy moving up from the pubic bone to either the heart or the third eye. Once you’ve been doing it for a few minutes, try clenching your pelvic floor muscles on your inhalation, then relaxing them during your exhalation.
Ta-da, that’s the fundamentals of sexual tantra for men.”

So, my darlings…here’s your homework assignment: practice edging & orgasm control. Pay close attention to how you feel. If you would like to share your experience with me feel free to email me or even better: make a comment here on my blog & share with others. Obviously, this is fantastic for those who struggle with premature ejaculation but really, the energy work is great for any man.

Happy hand-humping!


Mistress T

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The Year of Chastity: by Slave Self Denial (part 2)

Note from Mistress T: This is a continuation of the adventures & experiences of a slave who is currently serving me…attempting to deny himself an orgasm for a year. (Previous entry Jan. 6, 2013)


Mistress T


Chastity device.

Oh the suffering…a woman’s hand wrapped around your locked up cock…

Beginning of entry from Slave Self Denial:

Just to make my Self Denial more frustrating and “extreme,” on a recent business trip I hired an escort to come to my room. I had emailed her several times ahead to let her know that I would be wearing a chastity device and that all I wanted from her was to be teased and reminded how other men get to cum on her and in her yet I would have no release at all.

She arrived around 9pm, and when I opened the hotel room door she brushed up against my body and stuck her tongue down my throat. She reached down and grabbed my CB-6000 through my jeans and said “guess I’m not going to be sucking what’s in there!”. She took off her top to reveal her perfect tits, lay down on the bed and said, “ok strip so I can see that chastity thing.” I did and of course my poor cock was straining as hard is it could to break free…pushing up against the sides of the plastic casing, my balls swollen and dark.

She took off the rest of her clothes and had me kiss and lick her whole body. She then mounted me 69 position and push her wet pussy into my face. She started to lick my balls and run her tongue up and down the plastic case of the CB. It was driving me crazy! Eventually she pulled out a big pink dildo from her bag. She lay down in front of me with her legs up and pushed the cock inside her. She fucked herself for a while as I watched then she had me hold the dildo in front of the CB and “fuck” her. I held the fake cock with one hand and grabbed the back of her hair with the other, as I kissed her and looked into her eyes. This is what other men see when they have their cocks planted deep inside her pussy, this is what they see when they orgasm and shoot their loads. But I could feel nothing…and was certainly not going to shoot any loads.

We did the same thing with her doggy style. I knelt behind her, held the dildo in front of the CB and “fucked”. I looked at the curve of her back, her round ass, the tattoo on her lower back and again imagined how many men had seen the same thing while their cocks slid in and out of her wet cunt. All the male cum that shot across her ass and back…but for me nothing.

She had about three orgasms in our time together. She left and I spent a fitful night waking up every hour or so with a hardon inside my cage.

The next night I went to see a Pro Domme in the same town to have her remove my CB-6000…only to have it beaten with rulers and slapped over and over again…more on that episode soon…


The Year of Chastity: by Slave Self Denial

Note from Mistress T: this is a new addition to my blog. It’s a piece written by a slave who is into orgasm denial. He has decided to serve me/tribute me for my time to help him with his fantasy. He tributes me daily to communicate with him about his progress/feelings, etc. If he slips up & a bit of cum escapes from his penis he has to pay me a fine, as a way to further motivate him to have self control. He often watches my vids while stroking himself, edging himself close to orgasm but stopping before climax. If you’re into or curious about chastity or orgasm control you may find these entries interesting.


Mistress T

Mistress T with a CB-6000

A CB-6000 chastity device used to prevent male orgasm.

Beginning of entry from Slave Self Denial:

Everyone makes New year’s resolutions; mine this year is to not have an orgasm in 2013. This would be very difficult to achieve on my own. I have tried unsuccessfully in the past. I generally have no trouble getting to 7 to 10 days, but then it becomes very difficult (especially if I masturbate to the edge of release). If I make it past 2 weeks without orgasm, then it strangely becomes a bit easier for me, but in the past I have not made it beyond 30 days.

This year (“The Year of Chastity”) I have entered into an agreement with Mistress T. I will tribute her $XX for each day I go without release; and $XXX if I should cum (which does not mean having an orgasm — which would invalidate the whole agreement — but rather dribbling out any white semen if I should masturbate too close to the edge). If I should have an unauthorized orgasm the penalty would be fierce and would consist of ?????????

After years of playing with self-denial I have become very good at knowing when to stop. Of course if I watch porn that really excites me it becomes incredibly frustrating, but the frustration is part of the thrill of orgasm denial for me. I enjoy watching cumshot compilations; I stroke myself while watching a guy’s cock get sucked or fucked and just as he releases his load I remove my hand from my cock and watch my stiff, hard cock throb and bounce with no relief from orgasm and ejaculation. I continue doing this until I can’t take it anymore.

My interest in self-denial and chastity is coupled with an interest in cuckolding. What excites me is the idea that I would be made to watch other men have orgasms and ejaculations but not be able to myself. I would not even be able come in contact with a woman’s naked body other than to lick clean any male cum that might have gotten on her during her time with another man (whether that be licking clean her breasts; sucking the cum out of her pussy; or getting a deep kiss from her while she releases her man’s cum from her mouth into mine).

Today is Day 6 of my training (though my last orgasm was actually on Dec 27, so we are getting into that nasty 7-14 day stretch of insane sexual urges and the need to have an orgasm). My balls feel larger than normal, and I awoke with a raging hard-on.

I have ordered a chastity device and will start wearing it periodically, especially if I feel my self-control slipping away.

As instructed by Mistress T I will periodically update her blog with my progress, frustrations, etc. Follow my progress here: