Honoring Gaspman’s Memory

Posted on April 10, 2015 by Mistress T

I loved Gaspman so much.

My very close friend, known to many as “Gaspman”, recently passed after an inspiring battle with cancer. He was days away from his 59th birthday.

The name “Gaspman” came from his hundreds of legendary facesitting scenes on Club Stiletto. He was also famous in the pony riding & shoulder riding world, known for his impressive strength & endurance.

He demonstrated that a man could gracefully submit to a woman while being extraordinarily strong, both physically & mentally. He was a gentleman with impeccable manners who truly worshiped women. He worshiped from a place of worthiness, not worthlessness, pampering & caring for women in a way that was endearing & respectful. He was like a warrior that could fiercely protect you in battle but then shower you with the most gentle kisses.

We worked together for years creating FemDom films. They were often ‘party shoots’ where we’d have some drinks and food between filming scenes and continue on for hours after filming was wrapped. We had SO much fun. He loved to entertain & socialize. He was charismatic and adventurous. He became very close friends, like family to me. He was always supportive and encouraging. A very positive influence in my life. Losing him has been one of the most painful things I’ve ever gone through.

In the FemDom fetish film world he leaves a legacy. He started making FemDom vids about 12 years ago before the technology was easy to use, before it was even as acceptable as it is now. He did it out of pure passion for the fetishes he loved, mainly shoulder riding/pony riding & ass worship…but he loved most anything to do with worshiping women. You’ll find him in hundreds of scenes happily worshiping many beautiful Goddesses.

He lived a full life…and this is important. In his 20’s he had been in a successful rock bank that played in front of thousands of adoring fans. After he had a successful and meaningful ‘vanilla’ career. He was an amazing son, brother, uncle, father, partner & friend. He loved to cook, especially meat and rich, delicious foods. He loved to have drinks with friends and in his younger rock n’ roll days I’m sure he enjoyed that lifestyle to the fullest too, if ya know what I mean? With that in mind I asked him near the end if he had known back then that his indulgent lifestyle may one day cause him to have a shorter lifespan if he would have changed anything? He said without hesitation: no. He lived an amazing life, several lives really. He lived fully, passionately, positively. He had FUN, he laughed, he brought joy & love to many….and he will be missed by many.

About a year ago I made this little video featuring him:

http://www.mistresst.net/freemovie/mystery-gaspmans-black-eye

At that time he had heroically won his first battle with cancer & had been doing well…but had just started to have some indications that maybe there was something else wrong.

He continued to fight bravely and was an inspiration. When he felt well enough I would come over & listen to music with him on his amazing sound system in his living room. This blog post about music appreciation was about him:

http://www.mistresst.net/blog/my-personal-life/music-appreciation-moment/

When he wasn’t feeling well enough I’d just lay in bed with him watching TV. Even on those days, when his energy was low he was brimming over with positivity.

The last day I saw him was a great day. We had cake & champagne for a family birthday. He hadn’t had a drink in a very very long time so it was especially indulgent for him. We laughed & talked as if everything was fine. I’m glad that that is my last memory of him. Him doing what he always enjoyed so much: eating & drinking with loved ones. The simple things in life, right?

Best,
Mistress T

Members site: http://www.MistressT.net
PPV: http://www.clips4sale.com/23869
Blog: http://www.MistressT.net/blog/
Twitter: http://twitter.com/#!/MistressTdotnet

I’m still here…

Posted on April 7, 2015 by Mistress T

It’s been awhile since I’ve made a blog post. This is just a quick note to let you know I haven’t abandoned my blog.

I have been away the last couple of weeks: Mexico, Belize & New York City. I should be posting pics & telling you all about my trip…& I probably will…but not today.

Recently I lost a very close friend to cancer. The service is tomorrow & I’m hoping it will provide a catalyst for the healing process to begin. At the moment I’m just feeling heavy with sadness & having a hard time getting motivated to work. The sadness comes in waves so I’m still getting things done, just at a slower pace.

So, I’m still here & I’ll be okay. I’ll get my blog caught up soon, I certainly have a lot to say… & gradually, things will go back to business-as-usual. Thank you for your patience.

Best,

Mistress T

Members site: http://www.MistressT.net
PPV: http://www.clips4sale.com/23869
Blog: http://www.MistressT.net/blog/
Twitter: http://twitter.com/#!/MistressTdotnet

Lucky Guy

Posted on March 10, 2015 by Mistress T

When I tweet pics of me with guys/slaves the most common comment I get is “Lucky guy” followed by “Wish I was him/wish it was me”.

So who are these lucky guys and where do they come from? Unlike the guys you see in a lot of mainstream porn, 99% of my guys are not professional performers. I live in Vancouver, Canada. We don’t have a porn scene here so there are no professionals (that I know of) to hire even if I wanted to. While traveling I have had the opportunity to work with a few pro’s. Exactly 3 I think: Shane Diesel, Wolf Hudson & Deviant Kade. Slave Wade might be considered a pro by now too?

When I started making my own vids I had a partner. The first couple of years he was the only guy I filmed sex scenes with. Those who have been watching my stuff for more than 5 years probably know who I’m talking about. After we went our separate ways I started filming with others.

Each one has their own unique story. Some I’ve only filmed with once or a few times, for a variety of reasons. Perhaps we were only in the same place at the same time briefly, like a guy from out of town visiting. Sometimes I just don’t ‘click’ with someone enough to want to work with them anymore.

The ones that have stuck around earn nicknames and are close to my heart. The Gladiator, The Fire Hose Guy, Superman, The Young Fella, Eager Beaver, etc.

Most tend to be fans who simply offer themselves to be used for filming. Usually they don’t show their face which is fine with me. I think it’s easier for the viewer to imagine it’s him if he isn’t distracted by a face. They need to keep their anonymity. They all have lives. One of them sneaks out of the office to film with me & always shows up in a sharp suit, perfectly coiffed. He’s so beautiful I wish my fans could see more of him than just his cock, but alas…

Another one is a personal friend I’ve had for many years. He comes & goes. When he’s in a relationship we don’t film. When things don’t work out he comes back.

I found one fella while on vacation in Mexico. He was American & came to Vancouver to film with me several times over the next couple of years.

Some guys get shared or passed around among the other Vancouver Dommes. We’re a small, close community.

When I’m in England I get use of the English Mansion slaves or those who belong to Nikki Whiplash.

A more unique story is of the guy I accidentally found through one of those adult dating sites. I hadn’t been on it in over a year but I logged in to get the profile of someone impersonating me removed. While I was waiting for the admin to message me back another message came in & I looked at it. He had a nice cock so I asked if he’d like to be in my vids. He ended up being a wonderful film guy.

I prefer the ones who come regularly. I enjoy getting to know them & figuring out how to control their orgasms. I like pushing boundaries & introducing them to new things. We often sit around chatting over tea before or after filming which is also nice for me. Sometimes we go for a bite to eat or hang out socially. Some of them are lovers before they are in my films…sometimes they become my personal fuck toys off camera after. Some of them serve me in a more ‘slave’ way personally.

So I would say that they all consider themselves to be as lucky as you think they are. I wouldn’t keep anyone around who isn’t appreciative. I have more guys to film with than I need. I also consider myself lucky. I love what I do & a big part of that is liking those who I do intimate scenes with.

Info on applying to be a film slave: http://www.mistresst.net/blog/fetish-focus/frequently-asked-questions/

Best,
Mistress T

Members site: http://www.MistressT.net
PPV: http://www.clips4sale.com/23869
Blog: http://www.MistressT.net/blog/
Twitter: http://twitter.com/#!/MistressTdotnet

When A Compliment Is An Insult

Posted on March 5, 2015 by Mistress T

I make myself pretty accessible. I tweet & blog a lot. I really want my fans to see me as a person & not an object (as many women are portrayed in the adult biz).

Being accessible can be a double edged sword though. I often get emails that are complimentary but inappropriate.

Picture if you will, my every day life. I wake up, check my email & twitter from the bathroom in the dark. Then I put on music, chill indie or something cheerful while I shake up my protein drink & boil water for green tea. I then answer emails in my flannel pj’s while sitting in front of a large window, sometimes putting seeds out so birds entertain me.

The rest of my day might include a meal with friends, yoga, walking, errands, doing housework, making myself something to eat, going to the spa with friends, visiting a sick friend, talking to family on the phone, writing my book, planning trips, going out to parties, having sex or any number of other things that are NOT work related.

For work I edit, film, tweet, blog, occasionally session in person or webcam…and answer emails.

This is a bit long-winded because what I’m going to say might sound ‘bitchy’ and I want you to see me as a regular person first and not just a porn star, Dominatrix, celebrity or whatever.

I understand the concept of ‘fan mail’. I also understand the reality is that many of my fans have never paid a cent to enjoy my content, yet they still consider themselves devoted fans, hungrily consuming whatever they can get their mitts on for free. Maybe they genuinely can’t afford to pay anything. Maybe the concept of paying has never occurred to them, they are a part of the demographic that just thinks free porn is the norm. In any case, they have never contributed in a positive way to my work. There’s an argument that watching the pirated stuff negatively effects my business but we’ll leave that for today & just assume that they are at a ‘zero’ in terms of positive or negative contribution…

Until…

They send me a long email telling me how much they adore me, how they’ve jerked off to dozens of my vids…but wait until the end to mention that they aren’t a member of my site or anything but they just HAD to write me anyway.

Now they have stolen my time. Minutes that I won’t get back to enhance my personal life or create more great content. Minutes that add up when many guys do this. Each one thinking they are doing me a favor by telling me how sexy they think I am or how much they love my vids. “Compliments’ that turn into insults when they then point out they’ve paid nothing for the content I’ve worked hard to create.

I have to read those emails because they often all sound the same at first (opening with compliments) before the guy gets to the business part: he wants a custom vid, he wants to meet me in person, he wants to volunteer to be a film slave, etc.

Then I feel like a dick for not responding to those ‘compliment only’ emails, which I just don’t have time for. So I end up feeling worse than if he had just never sent the email in the first place.

Here’s the bitchy part that would have sounded harsher if I opened with it:

Do not send me complimentary emails if you have not paid for anything & have no intention of paying for something or contributing in a way that has value to me.

I don’t need your compliments. I do not suffer from low self esteem & I know very well by now how truly wonderful my content is.

If you’re going to jerk off to my content for free at least have the decency to keep it to yourself & don’t annoy me with emails that waste my time.

Capisce?

To the many, many wonderful fans who join my site, buy vids from clips4sale, send me gifts from my Amazon Wish List, tribute or support my efforts in any way: THANK YOU! You make my day, every day. xo

Best,
Mistress T

Members site: http://www.MistressT.net
PPV: http://www.clips4sale.com/23869
Blog: http://www.MistressT.net/blog/
Twitter: http://twitter.com/#!/MistressTdotnet

Click here for my Amazon Wish List!

So, what do you do?

Posted on February 23, 2015 by Mistress T

Sometimes I find myself in the awkward position of trying to explain to someone what I do for a living.

There is no quick way to explain, like saying you’re a dentist, a car salesperson, a criminal lawyer, a bank teller, etc. Sure, I can say that I produce & perform in adult films but then they just get an image of me being gang-banged in every hole by 6 guys at once. Nothing against mainstream porn, I enjoy it & respect those who do that work…it’s just that it’s not really very much like what I actually do.

So I explain that I create niche FemDom fetish films. Then I explain that means that all my films are about Dominant Females and submissive males. Not usually like a leather-clad Dominatrix with a whip in a dungeon, but sometimes. Usually in a domestic setting, often with me doing a lot of talking to the camera to the viewer watching the film.

The person is usually nodding while making a confused face at this point. Like ‘talking’ in a porn film is the craziest thing they’ve ever heard.

I explain that the guys who watch my vids are into the fantasy of being controlled or Dominated by a confident woman. They feel a connection to me because I’m speaking directly to them. Sure, sometimes there is sex if it fits the scenario, like cuckolding or sex slave, but more often I do hand jobs so the guy jerking off can imagine it’s my hand on his cock.

Back up…what’s cuckolding?

So then I explain that. Which is often painful. Especially if it’s a couple & the wife looks interested and the guy looks horrified…or vice versa.

#16. New Hubby Becomes Cuckold

At this point I have them by the short & curlies. They couldn’t be ripped away from this conversation if Jesus himself appeared & started turning water into wine. But for me I just feel like a circus freak doing my dog & pony show. I would happily leave the conversation if the most boring person in the world stepped in to explain advanced calculus.

Sometimes they’ll ask what my name is online so they can look me up. Depending on the person this can be varying degrees of awkward. Do I want this person to see me naked, fucking?

Sometimes they ask something along the lines of how much money I make, which is crass, but for some reason this answer will determine whether they’ll conclude I’m a stupid slut or a brilliant business woman. I usually just smile & say that I do fine. If it’s a female inquiring because she’s thinking of getting into the biz, I tell her it’s not easy-money. I’ve done well where the vast majority have not.

Sometimes I feel compelled to educate & enlighten the masses one person at a time & I spend more time explaining what I do. I’m sure a lot of us have jobs that aren’t quite what people think they are. It’s just that there is such harsh judgement of those who make their living in the sex trade…but in many ways my business is like many others. I pay taxes, I have business expenses, a web site, social media, I answer emails, etc. My education is in sales, marketing and public relations. I’ve applied what I learned similarly in other industries as well as in my adult business.

Anyway, this was just on my mind today so I thought I’d share a little insight into the reality of being me, who is also Mistress T…as this blog is all about getting to know me more intimately. In case you ever wondered what I tell people about what I do. I rarely lie since all of my friends & family know. I just lie if I really don’t feel like giving the long-winded explanation or if I’m sure the person will not be able to handle it. I’ve been surprised often. I’ve been judged harshly by those who I thought were open-minded & I’ve been warmly accepted by those who I suspected would be the most judgmental.
Best,
Mistress T

Members site: http://www.MistressT.net
PPV: http://www.clips4sale.com/23869
Blog: http://www.MistressT.net/blog/
Twitter: http://twitter.com/#!/MistressTdotnet

Music Appreciation Moment

Posted on February 8, 2015 by Mistress T

This is a more personal piece. Not sexy…but this blog is meant for you to get to know me more intimately, so this qualifies.

I had an amazing day. I visited a very dear friend who is fighting for his life. He’s been fighting cancer for years, winning, but it keeps returning. He’s still fighting & is one of the most inspiring people I know.

We laughed. We cried. We enjoyed delicious tea, cookies & cake. We listened to music on his high quality sound system. Big band, the Tragically Hip, 80’s rock ballads. Then I suggested Pink Floyd & he suggested we indulge in some of his morphine for that experience.

(Disclaimer: I am not a regular taker of drugs of any kind. I experimented in my 20’s with party drugs & hippie stuff but in my 30’s I just haven’t been that interested.)

So I sat with my dear friend, holding hands listening to Pink Floyd really loud while floating on a morphine cloud.

He’s been listening to a lot of music lately. He’s also been watching a lot of comedy & spending time with the people he loves. Music, laughter & love being his priorities these days.

I don’t ask a lot of my fans or slaves. I could really be so much more demanding…so I’ll ask each of you to do something for me today (& any time really) but especially today: Play one of your favorite songs as loud as you can & do nothing besides listen to it all the way through. Really listen to it & enjoy it. Savor it. Heck, dancing to it would be fine too. Let’s call it a ‘music appreciation moment’.

Will you do that for me? Will you do that for you? It’s not going to change the world but it’s not going to hurt anything either (unless it pisses off the neighbors for 5 minutes. Oh well.)

Big love,

Mistress T (or in this case, the woman who is also Mistress T)

Members site: http://www.MistressT.net
PPV: http://www.clips4sale.com/23869
Blog: http://www.MistressT.net/blog/
Twitter: http://twitter.com/#!/MistressTdotnet

A kinky short story…

Posted on January 6, 2015 by Mistress T

“Why do you pretend to be shy?”

I replied that I didn’t like intimidating people and I wanted to be treated like a normal person.

“Darling, you couldn’t be normal if you tried. There’s a boldness in you that makes mere mortals want to bow down to you, follow your orders, gain your favor, listen to your advice.”

He was wearing a leather fetish dog mask and collar but not much else. His body was strong and toned. The leather micro shorts at least left something to the imagination…until a friend whispered in my ear that he has a huge cock.

He slowly lowered himself to his knees, his strong muscles putting on a nice display. He took on the stance of an obedient dog and gently offered himself as my pet.

I stroked my leather gloved hand over his back and he shivered. I removed my glove & touched him again. This time I shivered. This was going to be fun.

Best,
Mistress T

Members site: http://www.MistressT.net
PPV: http://www.clips4sale.com/23869
Blog: http://www.MistressT.net/blog/
Twitter: http://twitter.com/#!/MistressTdotnet

Home for the holidays…

Posted on December 30, 2014 by Mistress T

Christmas morning with the family.

I am back home in Vancouver after a little over a week in Nova Scotia for the holidays. I had a wonderful time! I’m often asked if my family knows what I do for a living. They all know to some extent although most of them don’t really understand, none of them are bothered by it. Some of them ask a lot of questions, some don’t ask anything at all. It is clear that I’m healthy, happy & financially secure, which is all that really matters to them. They are perhaps more perplexed about me being 38, unmarried & childless. I am the only one in my large family who didn’t get hitched & have kids before 30. I just shrug & sing: “Single bells, single bells, single all the waaaayyyy…” They laugh & the conversation moves along.

In addition to the family visit I also went out in downtown Halifax three different nights which was a rare treat.

When I was 17 my girlfriends & I started sneaking into bars in Halifax. We had so much fun during the few years I was there before I moved to Vancouver. I haven’t gone out very often in Halifax in the last 17 years but the opportunity presented itself this time & I took full advantage. The vibe in Halifax is great. So warm & down-to-earth. Many people say that Maritimers are some of the friendliest people in the world & I concur.

Durty Nelly’s is a casual pub in Halifax with live music & friendly folks of all ages.

One night I ran across a live jazz band that was amazing & sat at the bar as friendly stranger after friendly stranger chatted with me. Nothing creepy or cheesy, just nice. Another night I found myself dancing for hours in a bar that felt like a house party while two fella’s played their guitars & sang their hearts out. Everyone was smiling & enjoying the crowd, no pretension, no looking at iphones. Another night I went on a pub crawl, a Haligonian tradition. If you ever get a chance to party in Halifax, no matter your age, go for it. You’ll be welcomed with open arms like you can’t even imagine.

I miss it already & may get back there sooner than usual.

A crisp, sunny day exploring one of rural Nova Scotia’s fishing villages.

Now I sit here in Vancouver typing this, watching the sun rise (jet lag woke me up very early)…thinking about all my wonderful friends in Vancouver I’ll see in the next few days over New Years. Home is where you hang your hat.

Best,
Mistress T

Members site: http://www.MistressT.net
PPV: http://www.clips4sale.com/23869
Blog: http://www.MistressT.net/blog/
Twitter: http://twitter.com/#!/MistressTdotnet

Spoiled in Orlando

Posted on December 21, 2014 by Mistress T

I’m at the tail end of a wonderful few days in Orlando, Florida. One of my dearest clients decided that it would be a treat for both of us to go to Disney together. It was! We also went to Epcot…& for some fancy meals. Today he treated me to a spa day (on my own as he had to leave early).

Cinderella’s castle at Disney in Orlando

At the haunted house (Disney Orlando)

At Epcot…so many awesome things to do there!

Surrounded by luxury the whole trip…gorgeous upscale hotel…fancy dinners out…

Enjoying the relaxation room at the spa today…

Soaking in the spa jacuzzi…getting spoiled rotten

This is one of those ‘professional’ relationships that falls in the gray area. He’s been a wonderful & dedicated fan for over 5 years, buying my vids, sending me generous & thoughtful presents, many complimentary & supportive emails & we’ve gotten together several times over the years in various US & Canadian cities. We treat each other like friends…I like to think that we are genuine friends…but he also fairly compensates me for my time. Some cynical people would say that I shouldn’t accept his money if I consider us to be genuine friends…but shouldn’t I? He has it to give & it gives him pleasure to spoil me. I’m not into financial domination & I admit sometimes it feels like too much…but I never ask for a thing & it seems rude to not accept. Should everyone who loves & enjoys their ‘job’ or their clients not get paid? What’s the good of cake if you can’t eat it too? *grin*

So I’m off to Nova Scotia tomorrow to spend Christmas with my family. Although I get back every year for a visit this will actually be the first time I’ve been home for Xmas since I left 17 years ago. That’s a pretty big deal. It should be…fun? I have a fairly big family with a lot of interesting characters. They all have at least a vague idea of what I do & don’t care. They’re an accepting, non-judgmental, easy-going bunch. I know I’ll be eating a lot. They’ve been doing their Christmas baking for weeks, freezing cookies, squares, sweets & diabetes-causing goodies in preparation. Wish me luck!

Mistress T

Members site: http://www.MistressT.net
PPV: http://www.clips4sale.com/23869
Blog: http://www.MistressT.net/blog/
Twitter: http://twitter.com/#!/MistressTdotnet

The Spirit of Giving

Posted on December 10, 2014 by Mistress T

Maybe someone should buy me something to wear?

Tis’ the season…the season of commercialism. The spirit of giving is certainly not lost on me. I love randomly giving…but I’m not a fan of obligatory or expected gift-giving on designated occasions, like Christmas.

Having said that, every year I have fans who want to mark the occasion by spoiling me with something & I appreciate these gifts very much. This year, along with the usual options I suggest making a micro-loan to Kiva, which directly assists people living in poverty do something constructive to improve their situation. When you help one person start a business, you also help their family & community. It’s economics that makes sense.

You may recall my “Free Porn for Charity” blog entry from less than a month ago?: http://www.mistresst.net/blog/uncategorized/loan-to-a-worthwile-cause-get-free-porn/

It is already a success with 10 guys “loaning” $900! You are welcome to make a micro loan (with or without the free porn part)…instead of sending me a present. That would make me happy.

Otherwise, if you really want to send me someTHING check out my updated Amazon Wish List: http://amzn.com/w/LYLSUGVVJA6W

You can send Amazon Gift Cards (or other gift cards) to my main address: MsT@MistressT.net

There is a tribute button on my clips store (not visible on some mobile devices).

If you want my mailing address to send something, email me.

I also really appreciate guys supporting my work by joining my members site. December is a great time for that because I add a few extra vids the last week of December to ensure those with extra time to masturbate have lots of fresh goodies. (I also add a few extra on my clips store if you prefer the pay-per-view option.)

Mistress T

Members site: http://www.MistressT.net
PPV: http://www.clips4sale.com/23869
Blog: http://www.MistressT.net/blog/
Twitter: http://twitter.com/#!/MistressTdotnet

Mistress T

Get to know Mistress T more intimately….

Category Archives: My Personal Life

Honoring Gaspman’s Memory

I’m still here…

Lucky Guy

When A Compliment Is An Insult

So, what do you do?

Music Appreciation Moment

A kinky short story…

Home for the holidays…

Spoiled in Orlando

The Spirit of Giving