Fan Mail & Site Reviews

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I receive some really nice emails. They motivate me to continue making quality smut *smile*. This blog post is just a few of those nice emails…also a link to one of my site’s recent reviews where there are even more nice things said about me. Pour it on baby!

“I want to say your movies are great. You obviously hear this platitude all of the time.
I find your ability to exude the combination of believable compassion with cruel undertones outstanding. Some try but just are not believable. Your siren qualities make you one of my favorite actresses.”

“As 140 characters will never do you justice Mistress T, I wanted to send you a quick mail to let you know that you really are one in a million. Having dug deeper into your blog, I could only leave it with an immense amount of respect for you (and I don’t mean a faux subbie’s respect either) – you clearly possess immense integrity and live your life in a way that is a slap in the face of the world’s many hypocrites. We could all learn a lot from you.

You’re a woman with a lot of humanity and, for me, that will always be your sexiest feature. Perhaps its what makes you come across as so maternal, too – that there is nothing manufactured or codified about what you do. Just a unity between who you are, what you desire and what you do. It leaves me in awe.

You’re a beautiful woman and you light up every picture, every frame you star in. I really wish you all the best from my humble little corner of the universe and would hope that were our paths ever to cross, we would enjoy each other’s company quite apart from any sexual scenario.”

“Thanks 4 the great site! It’s the hottest, most creative and sophisticated porn out there-and I don’t mean that in the lame, soft-focus, boner-deflating yuppie-porn way either. I maybe should have posted this in the forum,  but I hope it’s cool if drop it here. I read your bio of sorts in one of the forum comments and it feels like all your varied experince and restless individuality have come together in your great vids.
I’m one of those guys who’s disaffected by mainstream porn and looking 4 something-anything, with more imagination. Probably about half of what’s on your site doesn’t really turn me on, but the other half is so great I signed up! It’s funny how after seeing just about all the porn that’s out there, you can create something more exciting and subversive w/ just your own kinky imagination.  People forget that the brain is the biggest erogenous organ!”

My site was recently reviewed by Freeones. This is a part of it:

“Conclusion about Mistress T. No matter what fetishes turn you on, MistressT.com gives you access to them. This is hardcore yet sensual and you will probably learn a thing or two that will allow you to get a bit freakier in the bedroom. There is no denying the beauty of this particular fuck model or the quality of this premium site. The navigation is simple, the photography is top-notch and the fun is nasty and even a bit dangerous. Give this site a shot for sure.”

Here’s a link to the whole thing:

http://reviews.freeones.com/Mistress_T..shtml

Here’s a link to my site’s forum where you can find all of my site reviews…and even more nice things written about moi!

http://www.mistresst.net/content/site-reviews-news#comment-228

Thanks to all who have written me with kind words & support. I really do appreciate it. xo

Members site: http://www.MistressT.net
PPV: http://www.clips4sale.com/23869
Blog: http://mistresst.wordpress.com/
Twitter: http://twitter.com/#!/MistressTdotnet

My eyes are up here...

Narcissist!

I 'can' be a nice girl!

The shocking part is that I'm actually wearing panties for once...

I'm sitting on a guys face in this pic...

Too Strong?

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I considered making the title of this post: “Fuck You” but decided to take a slightly less negative approach.

This is a sort of a follow up to my last post “Man Hater?” where I addressed the question (accusation): Do I hold men in contempt?

I’ve recently done the dating dance with a couple of fella’s…somewhat simultaneously (I’m a non-monogamist in case you didn’t know) and both have arrived at a similar place. Although the details are different the overall message is that my strength is an issue. One assumed I must be a man hater since I didn’t fall in love with him and the other couldn’t deal with the fact that I didn’t NEED him.

To protect the innocent I’ll leave out any more details and just focus on me (this blog is about ME, isn’t it?).

Valentine’s seemed like an appropriate day for all of this to come to a head. The dragon in me breathed fire as I considered the weakness of some men. Why some men need to feel needed. Why can’t they be happy with just being wanted?

I don’t need a man in my life. It doesn’t take a very sharp person to pick that up pretty quickly, I’m a bit of a man-eater. I can separate sex from love easily. I have quite a few ex’s as friends but I have just as many who are in the rear view mirror.

It’s no accident that I am the way I am. From a very young age my Mother groomed me to be a strong independent woman. I was raised in rural Nova Scotia where you were expected to get married and have kids. You could maybe be a teacher or nurse, but you better be able to cook a turkey dinner for 10 people, decorate a birthday cake like a car, get beet stains out of a table cloth and keep your husband happy. For some reason my Mother decided that I would have what ever life I wanted and all the better if it didn’t involve being a slave to a husband and kids. So she told me over and over: you need to be strong in life, take care of yourself, don’t depend on a man, do what makes you happy, etc.

Bless her soul. She created a god damn monster, didn’t she?

Maybe she laid it on a little too thick? I’ve become so strong & independent that most men just don’t know how to deal with me. Well, to those weak men who it seems I now do hold in contempt: fuck you.

Ah, that feels better…

Mistress T

Members site: http://www.MistressT.net
PPV: http://www.clips4sale.com/23869
Blog: http://mistresst.wordpress.com/
Twitter: http://twitter.com/#!/MistressTdotnet

Fuck you. No really.

Who NEEDS a man when you've got a nifty pig statue!

I could toally toss this gas pump, like, the length of a football field! Roar!

This is a stick up. Give me your balls..oh, you don't have any...

Man Hater?

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I was recently asked if I felt my job has caused me to hold men in contempt.

It’s a common misconception that Female Dominants, especially Pro Dommes and online Dommes are man haters. I take issue with broad generalizations. Things are just not as black and white as some might wish. Sure, some FemDommes are man-haters but that can’t be assumed of all of us.

You could look at my vids and see how I degrade and humiliate men and jump to the conclusion that I hate them…but if you think about it a little bit deeper you’ll realize it’s just the opposite. I degrade those who have a desire to be degraded. I’m not walking up to random nice guys on the street and calling them names!

In my personal life do I ‘hold men in contempt’ was the question. I thought about it and thought about how this job has changed me. Of course it has in many ways. I feel that a lot of men think with their dicks and can be manipulated by an attractive woman to do just about anything…but this isn’t just from my job, it comes from the media, advertising, movies/TV, etc. Beautiful women are used to sell endless products/services and to manipulate the masses. A man’s sex drive is his Achilles heel. It causes men to make poor choices. I do see it as a weakness, a vulnerability…but does it make me contemptuous?

When I was a little girl I had an uncle who nicknamed me “Little Nellie” after the snotty, stuck up girl on Little House On The Prairie. He teased me about thinking I was better than everyone else. I come across as confident (even if I’m not feeling that way in a moment!) and some people interpret that as superiority. Notice I didn’t say misinterpret? The fact is that I do feel better than some people sometimes…but not just men, women too. Doesn’t everyone feel that way in different situations? Does that make me a cunt? Well, yes, sometimes I can be a cunt too…which leads me to my answer to the original question…

I said that I tend to hold others, of either gender to a higher standard than is realistic. People often disappoint me because of my unrealistic expectations. Sometimes that causes me to hold them in contempt and I can be a bit of a cunt about it. I don’t hate men. I’m the Mother-fucking-Theresa of fetish porn. I give men what they crave. If I hated them for it would money alone be motivating enough to continue giving such a precious gift to those who need it? No, but you can’t blame me for capitalizing on that need!

My work hasn’t made me a man hater, nor has my personal experiences with men. I am a strong, independent women who has a low tolerance for bullshit, especially with men/relationships/sex/romance. If I’m treating you with contempt it’s because of something you’ve done to trigger that…not what’s in your underwear.

Members site: http://www.MistressT.net
PPV: http://www.clips4sale.com/23869
Blog: http://mistresst.wordpress.com/
Twitter: http://twitter.com/#!/MistressTdotnet

I've got men by the balls!

Delilah & I, double face crush!

Hurt Yourself For Me!

 

Purge, Plan & Play.

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Some of you know that I’ve been moving this last week. Moving is always stressful. It’s been an interesting process for me though.

My previous partner & I had been together for four years and lived together the last couple of years of our relationship. When we packed up our stuff and put it in storage in December of 2010 we planned to come back from Thailand and find a new place. All of our stuff, all packed together with the intention of seeing it again in just a couple of months.

One thing led to another, we kept traveling (to Europe) and then broke up in June. I wasn’t sure if I wanted to stay in Vancouver. Business opportunities were calling in the US and UK. So I took temporary, furnished apartments or stayed with friends in between frequent travel during all of 2011. My stuff stayed in storage. My ex had done his best to untangle his stuff from mine but the storage space was a disorganized mess I avoided dealing with.

I finally decided that not only was Vancouver the right place for me to live, but that I loved it so much I would travel less in 2012. I rented a permanent apartment and got my belongings out of storage.

This last week I’ve thrown out a lot of stuff. How or why we accumulate ‘stuff’ is baffling. It wouldn’t have been up to ‘hoarder’ standards but there was certainly too much stuff I’ve paid to store & move that I just paid to have taken away. What a waste. Why did the ME from a year ago think all that was worth holding onto?

I suppose living out of a couple suitcases for a year re-taught me what I learned backpacking through India in my mid-twenties: you only really NEED what you can carry on your back.

Of course, it’s not that simple at this stage of the game. I have a huge container of stuff I kept just for vids & fetish parties (lingerie, costumes, corsets, etc.) I have lots of BDSM implements & toys that I look forward to using again for private sessions. However, there is no doubt that I held onto a whole lot that I didn’t need.

I have had requests for used items. If acquiring used personal items is what floats yer boat, I have good news for you! I will be getting rid of dozens of shoes/boots that I had accumulated for shoejob/bootjob vids with my ex. Some are well-worn, some have never been worn outside. I have some other personal items, like lingerie, pantyhose, etc. that I’m ready to part with as well. I’ll make a separate blog entry with those items. (If you’re reading this and you’re confused: some people enjoy jerking off smelling/licking/humping personal items that belonged to someone they worship. Try thinking of a time where you’ve smelled a jacket or some other piece of clothing worn by a lover, how their smell brought feeling up in you…it’s something like that.)

For now, I’m still settling in. The help I’ve received from friends who really care has helped me to feel even better about my decision to stay in Vancouver. I have quite the family here now.

It’s exciting having my own place again. I prefer to live alone, the control freak that I am. I never have to be lonely. If I want company I have plenty of friends & never any shortage of lovers.

I had a great session tonight. It was with a nice client I’ve seen before in a high end hotel room. It was very pleasurable for me. I am often in awe that I get paid for what I do. Sure, some sessions are ‘work’ and I earn every cent. Tonight though, was easy & fun.

I am very excited to get back into private sessions.

On my walk home I encountered a skunk gang bang….or a skunk orgy. It was hard to tell..but there was at least 5 skunks and there was for certain fucking. I watched for a little while and observed the female skunk trying to fight off the male, turning her head around and snapping at him. Maybe it was skunk rape?

I just googled “skunks fucking’ to learn more and found this funny (& somewhat informative) article: http://youoffendmeyouoffendmyfamily.com/how-to-survive-an-attack-by-fornicating-skunks/

My experience was similar to the one described above, only thankfully they weren’t on my doorstep! Where I live, in the West End of Vancouver, right next to Stanley Park, there are loads of urban raccoons, big squirrels, skunks, Canadian Geese, etc…but I only just learned that February is mating season for skunks. Now you know too!

In other news, Slave Jay has added another journal entry about our time together in Vegas. It’s worth a read: http://slave2vegas.livejournal.com/4276.html

Check out the FemDom Resource where they recently wrote a little thingy about one of my pics: http://www.femdom-resource.com/2012/02/04/giggity/

To give you a little eye candy I’ve included a pic taken right now of me sitting on my new throne chair. It’s going to be great for filming…a pic I took this evening of skunks fucking and some images of recently released vids that I filmed in Vegas featuring Ceara Lynch: http://www.cearalynch.com/, Domina Snow: http://www.dominasnow.com/, Sarah Blake: http://sarahblake.com/ & Slave Jay. Find those NOW on my clips store, and in a few weeks on my members site.

Members site: http://www.MistressT.net
PPV: http://www.clips4sale.com/23869
Twitter: http://twitter.com/#!/MistressTdotnet

Me on my throne, taken Feb. 7, 2012

Neighborhood Skunks Fucking

Mistress T & Ceara Lynch in "Shrunk Cheating Boyfriend"

From "Inescapable Scissorhold"

Sarah Blake, Mistress T & Domina Snow from "Mommie & Friends"

Vegas, baby.

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Ceara Lynch invited me to share her hotel room in Vegas during the AVN’s (adult video awards & expo/convention thingy). Ceara & I have been friends for a couple of years. I have a great deal of admiration & respect for her…so of course I said YES!

She has written an excellent blog entry about the trip with lots of great pics:

http://cearalynch.livejournal.com/112356.html

I’m not as inclined to give a detailed day-by-day play-by-play…I’ll just write a more organic account of my trip, some highlights, etc.

The slave who won the opportunity to serve us for the trip was Slave Jay. He had said all the right things in his email introduction, had some experience in his personal life, seemed sane, wasn’t bad looking & made the deposit to show he was serious. We had some great correspondence prior to meeting so we already were somewhat familiar. He met me at the airport and we were together pretty much constantly until the last moment when I boarded my plane back home.

I’m a fan of ‘personal slaves’. Having done hundreds (maybe thousands?) of private sessions when I was a Pro Domme I am more-or-less done with the structured format of a planned, paid-by-the-hour session. I prefer a lot of casual time with spontaneous moments. For example: I prefer to get a foot rub right now when my feet are tired, rather than when a slave is paying me to worship my feet during a pre-planned session. Make sense? I’m also a natural Dominant so feel comfortable just being myself around a submissive male. I don’t need to put on an act or play a role. I find the slaves who fall the deepest for me are the ones who get to spend casual time with me…and I in turn enjoy them more when they are most genuine in their desire to please & serve.

Slave Jay tried so hard to please. I never paid for a single taxi ride or meal the entire time. It’s not so much that the money adds up as it’s so nice to be treated like a Goddess, never having to open my purse. He would draw my baths for me, sit by the tub giving me foot rubs, chatting with me…he kept our hotel room tidy, made our beds, brought us breakfast in the morning, etc. He was helpful, useful and pleasant to be around. He was an excellent film slave, willing to do pretty much anything. In public he would carry my jacket, open doors, etc.

He made a couple of mistakes for which he was punished. When he was late bringing breakfast he had to kneel on sharp bathroom tiles in bare knees for 30 minutes. Very painful & humiliating in front of Ceara and Rene. Another day he spoke out of turn (the details of this infraction will remain private). The punishment for this had to be harsh & memorable. He needed to learn his lesson. He was bent over the bed, hands secured behind his back and ball gagged. He was told there was no safe word. The punishment would be painful but not dangerous. I already knew that he had been caned & whipped in the past. I knew he could take it…but this would be more severe than anything he had experienced. It was not done in a sensual way. It was punishment. No warm up. I meant to leave brutal marks. Below, you’ll see images from the video. Ceara ran camera and the vid is called “Harsh Punishment”. Know that this was a 100% real punishment and it was well-deserved. I don’t normally beat slaves this way but if you consent to being my personal slave & you express the desire to be trained, if you fuck up, THIS may well be what happens to you.

Slave Jay is writing his own blog about his experience. You can read the first part here:

 http://slave2vegas.livejournal.com/957.html

 

Moving right along…another highlight was meeting Nacho Vidal. If you read my blog entry about my first visit/interview at Kink.com’s armory you may recall that I saw him briefly then. It was thrilling. He’s a hell-of-a-fucker…award winning & well recognized for being a great fucker/porn star/producer. He was nice in person & when the photo was taken he squeezed my hip (maybe noticing I wasn’t wearing panties?) and my knees went weak. *smile*

Another highlight was hanging out with the KinkBomb crew. Talk about spoiled rotten! Wonderful dinners, bottomless drinks, VIP treatment at the hottest nightclubs, lap dances in the nicest strip clubs: wow. I will be opening a KinkBomb studio soon. They certainly earned my business.

Sharing a hotel room with Ceara was great. We had a beautiful room & I enjoy her energy. She may be 10 years younger than me but she’s one of the smartest young ladies I’ve met. She done very well for herself so far & I look forward to seeing her grow & further succeed.

Slave Jay took Ceara & I to an amazing Vegas show called “Absinth”. Acrobats, tight rope walkers, dirty humor…I loved it. I’ve attached a couple pics below.

I filmed some amazing content featuring Ceara, Princess Rene, Domina Snow & Sarah Blake. The last day filming with Sarah & Domina Snow was particularly enjoyable. (See pics below). We’ve planned to meet up in LA for DomCon in May to do it all again.

That’s the trip in a nutshell. I recommend reading the other blogs to fill in the blanks and get a different perspective. It was a trip that none of us will forget anytime soon!

Ceara Lynch, Princess Lyne, Princess Rene & moi, Mistress T

Meeting Nacho Vidal was a highlight!

Stomping on slave Jay's nuts (in public)

Domina Snow, Mistress T, Sarah Blake, Ceara Lynch, Princess Lyne, Princess Rene, Mistress B, Miss Sweet Feet

Images from vid "Harsh Punishment"

My club Stiletto Pony in front of Clips4sale booth

Mistress T, Ceara Lynch, Princess Rene (on slave Jay)

Me & Ceara Lynch

Mistress T & Ceara Lynch

Domina Snow, Mistress T & Sarah Blake

Sarah Blake, Domina Snow & I

 

From the Vegas show "Absinth"

From the Vegas show "Absinth"

Afternoon Delight

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I had such grand plans today. I was going to film some sexy stuff with a new fella I’ve been intimate with, I was going to run errands, check things off my to-do list, be productive…

The day started with the fella letting me know he was still feeling a bit under the weather & maybe today wasn’t the best for filming. No problem! I decided to edit a vid I filmed yesterday entitled: Secret SizeQueen Therapist. It’s a solo vid where I play a therapist speaking to a guy who has small penis issues. At first I tell him that women don’t care about size, it’s more about chemistry, etc, etc…eventually (over two sessions) I get him to show me his penis and I eventually reveal my personal preference for big cocks. It’s a small penis humiliation vid with a masturbation instruction that gets quite hot with me going on and on about fucking thick cocks…So, I’m watching the vid, seeing my face say these things, knowing exactly WHO & WHAT I was thinking of when I filmed this vid…remembering how much I had enjoyed that special thick cock…and a funny thing happened: I started to get really horny.

Now it’s not unheard of for me to get horny editing my own porn movies. This line of work attracts narcissists. But I was a little shocked at how VERY horny I was, it took me by surprise.

I texted the fella: “Fuck I’m horny. I should have just come over & raped ur cock anyway.”

His (predictable) response: “Come over. Come now. Let’s fuck. Now. Hurry.”

I kicked my roomie out of the washroom, showered, brushed my teeth, threw on some cloths and called a cab.

Sitting in the cab I could feel the pulse in my pussy. Where had this level of arousal come from all of a sudden? I felt like a 16 year old boy. All the while the filthy text messages were pouring in. Things that a lady can’t repeat in a somewhat dignified blog (does this blog have any dignity left?). He was fanning the flames with dirty talk. The cab driver was trying to be chatty but I didn’t want him to harsh my buzz so I was curt…then “I need a hero” came on the radio. Click this link if you’d like to listen to it to add a new dimension to your blog reading experience: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=OBwS66EBUcY I laughed and asked him to turn it up. I tried to not notice the taxi driver bopping along to it.

I arrived. I didn’t knock, just walked in and into his arms. He picked me up and carried me to the bed where I was stripped and fucked for hours. Fucked well. He poured affection on me, telling me how perfect I am.

Let me be clear: this is not love. Not like the romantic kind you see in chick flicks anyway. This is mutual respect and two people fucking for the sake of fucking. Sure, there’s a lot of affection & cuddling, but we fuck, we don’t make love.

It was just what I needed. The kind of sex that satisfies yet leaves you wanting more.

Then he made me a nice dinner and I went to yoga.

On my walk home I passed a couple things I took pictures of. (See below)

I decided to not add super sexy pics to this blog entry, especially not pics of me fucking other men which just seems wrong in this case. Soon enough you should see him appearing in some of my vids anyway.

I’ve also included the images for the vid that got all this started.

It may not have been the most productive day but I think that fucking, eating & yoga is a very decent diversion.

Last thing, as the cherry on top of my day when I got home I found a funny note from my roomie. I’ve attached that below too.

Members site: http://www.MistressT.net
PPV: http://www.clips4sale.com/23869
Twitter: http://twitter.com/#!/MistressTdotnet

Patti Smith: "Never let go of that fiery sadness called desire."

Patti Smith: "Never let go of that fiery sadness called desire."

Pierre Trudeau: "There's no place for the state in the bedrooms of the nation."

Naked Party!

 

 

The vid that got me so horny today..."Secret SizeQueen Therapist"

A real slave’s experience with ME!

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Part of the idea of my blog is to give you a different perspective of me. I’m not just a porn star, an actress, a Goddess in your fantasies…I’m a real person who lives a pretty interesting real life.

There once was a man who I knew from a local regular business. When he had served me there I noticed that he was extra service oriented and wondered if he knew I was also ‘Mistress T’ a Dominatrix and fetish film performer. I recently got my answer when he started following me on twitter. For those who think this could be ‘creepy’ I’ll say that it all depends on the person, the circumstances, how they approach, etc. In this case, there was nothing creepy about it.

He had known who I was, he was a fan. He now approached me respectfully and carefully and explained that he was an experienced slave. I checked his references and concluded that he could potentially be a useful personal slave and film slave.

I decided to test him out and allowed him to accompany me to a New Years fetish party. This is his ‘essay’ on his experience:

“I got a very special privilege this New Year’s eve. Not only did I get to meet Mistress T for a pre party but also wished Her a happy New year at midnight.  
I was not prepared with New Year’s Eve plans when I was twitting with Mistress T and She mentioned going to the SinCity event. She remembered that I had attended in the past. And She had an extra ticket. Well I did not have to be asked twice. LOL
The before party was right down the street from where Sincity meets. There was about 10 or 12 people all clad in fetish wear, drinks in hand, having a great time. Mistress T was in a lingerie set, bra, panties, stockings and garter.  She is outstanding, and that goes without saying!
Oh to be more of the social butterfly, as a new person in a group of well-established friends. I faired pretty well and met a group of good people, the fetish community is great that way! Everyone is very accepting.  Mistress T used me as a seat for a time and another guest ask that I give Her a massage.  As Mistress T got up She whispered to me ”Better do a good job or else!” as the other lady sat down in front of me and I began. She wanted Her shoulders and back rubbed, very toned body, i was one happy slave. She had me massage Her for about 10 minutes. After receiving a positive review, Mistress returned me in to Her chair. Unfortunately after about 15 more minutes, my knees were feeling the effects of the concrete floor i was on. Instead of falling over I asked Mistress to allow me stand up. Needless to say, She was not happy with me, in hindsight I should have mentioned my knee problem. But no use crying over spilt milk. It was time to go to the club.
Once at the Sincity event, Mistress T had me go about on my own. I got the opportunity to meet up with Her throughout the evening. Buying Her drinks and She teased and choking me throughout the evening.  On the dance floor, Mistress T had me deliver a drink to Her. She was dancing with a male friend. Watching Her interact with the other man is just like being in one of Her cuckolding videos on Her website. She moved around him, watching me for my reactions. She then reached out and grabbed my throat. I did not realize She could read minds as well. Being at the mercy of a woman with Her hands around my throat is a huge fantasy of mine. I should also admit a need to be cuckolded as well. 
I am sure She saw me watching Her throughout the night. It was a thrill to watch Her and risk Her telling me to leave the club. Or worse out right ban me from Her presence. She is very good at teasing a slave. To be a target for Her, is any slave’s dream. She is a naturally Dominant Woman and can pick apart any slave.     
Thank You again Mistress T for allowing me to be part of Your evening! I hope to earn a place in Your stable of slaves.
Sincerely,
slave steve”

Members site: http://www.MistressT.net
PPV: http://www.clips4sale.com/23869
Twitter: http://twitter.com/#!/MistressTdotnet

Human? Chair? Same thing...

Just add booze & serve...

Thank you 2011

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The year in review…what a surprise, right? Don’t smite me for lack of originality in my blog topic for the last day of 2011, just enjoy the ride. (Actually wrote this on Dec 31)

One year ago I was on a plane with my partner of four years to Thailand. We were going for two months so had packed up our things and put them in storage. Thus began a year that ended up being 50% travel outside of Vancouver.

It was during that trip, with his parents visiting and some pressure from his mother that we discussed getting married in October. As is often the case, a decision to get married made me start thinking more seriously: is this REALLY the person I want to spend the rest of my life with?

It was also during this trip that I received the invite from The English Mansion to be their special guest at their FemDom ball early summer and to film with them. I knew at the time this was an important opportunity but I could never have guessed how much of an impact it would have.

After two fun & relaxing months in Thailand (and Vietnam) we returned and worked hard to build up enough content for the time we would be in Europe. We decided to spend some time in France & Italy since we were already going to be in London.

Things happened during that Europe trip. Amazing things. Horrible things. It was eventful. The cracks in our relationship broke open. When we returned to Vancouver  in June we went our separate ways. Maybe someday the full story will come out in a tell-all book.

I spent the summer processing the end of the relationship and enjoying my new single life. Adjusting to running the business solo was difficult at first. I wonder if my fans even noticed that my content was being filmed with a tripod rather than with a camera person? In hindsight, things weren’t that difficult. I had already been doing it pretty much on my own anyway. I missed the companionship of having someone to run the business with though.

I went to Burning Man at the end of the summer. An epic road trip with my best friend of six years. The person I originally met through friends the first year I went to Burning Man. That first year he was a complete stranger when he picked me up in his convertible and we drove for two days into the desert, then spent the week together at Burning Man. It was a hellava introduction and it bonded us for life. This years road trip was just as wonderful. He was patient with my ambition as I kind of turned the road trip into a business trip. I had a goal: to film with Kink.com. We went to LA and San Francisco so I could pursue that goal.

Shortly after I went to Honolulu for business…then back to London for a couple of weeks for business (and pleasure!)…then back to San Francisco and LA to film with Kink.com and MeanBitches.com….then to Maui….then to Nova Scotia.

In the middle of all this I asked myself: “Am I running FROM something or TO something?” I had been so focused on building my business it was starting to seem a bit obsessive. Was I avoiding something? I had this thought as I was putting my things in storage and realized I had been living out of a suitcase without having a real home of my own since Dec 2010.

When I finally returned to Vancouver on December 2 (this month) I started going to yoga every day. I started doing a little kickboxing/self defense training. I have been filming very little. I’ve been walking a lot. Eating very healthy and boozing very little. Spending time with close friends. Thinking.

What do I want 2012 to look like? I’ll continue with the business and look for opportunities to expand…but I will take my foot off the gas a little so I can slow down and enjoy the scenery. I can tend to be too focused.

I will make a home for myself in Vancouver and get my stuff out of storage (it’s been in there for a year now!).

I say that I will travel less…but I have already committed to three days in Vegas with Ceara for AVN…and a yoga retreat in Bali with close friends the end of March/early April (that will be a three week trip with other stops on the way and back including one night in Bangkok!). Then there’s Burning Man at the end of the summer…We’ll see how much travel I actually end up doing in 2012 after all.

Reflecting on 2011 I can say with certainty that it has been one of the most eventful years I’ve had. The ending of a four year relationship, the dismantling of most of my life, lots of travel, reaching some special goals, one of which was filming with Kink.com. Although I hadn’t pre-set the goal of filming with The English Mansion, that was one of the most significant things that happened this year, for many reasons. I have surprised myself with my abilities, my survival skills and what I can accomplish when I set my mind to it. I have felt depths of emotion this year that shocked me.

I feel stronger & healthier in every way than I have ever felt. I am poised to grab 2012 by the lemons and make it my bitch. Stay tuned!

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Jan 2011, Thailand

Pic taken by my partner of 4 years, the day our relationship hit the rocks.

During one of my many very late nights in the summer...

Burning Man 2011, dancing, debauchery & soul healing.

California, Fall 2011...a fun & productive experience.

 

 

If I can do this, I can do anything!

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I was just reading “Choke” by Chuck Palahniuk (Author of Fight Club, which happens to be my favorite movie next to Pulp Fiction).

I wanted to share a bit with you…then I’ll share some personal thoughts:

Start excerpt from Choke: “The point was, it’s not the sex part of pornography that hooked the stupid little boy. It was the confidence. The courage. The complete lack of shame. The comfort and genuine honesty. The up-front-ness of being able to just stand there and tell the world: Yeah, this is how I spend a free afternoon. Posing here with a monkey putting chestnuts up my ass.

And I really don’t care how I look. Or what you think.

So deal with it.

He was assaulting the world by assaulting himself.

And even if the guy wasn’t loving every moment, the ability to smile, to fake your way through this, that would be even more admirable.

The same way every porno movie implies a score of people standing just off camera, knitting, eating sandwiches, looking at their wrist watches, while other people do naked sex only a few feet away…

To the stupid little boy, that was enlightenment. To be that comfortable and confident in the world, that would be Nirvana.

“Freedom” isn’t the right word, but it’s the first word that comes to mind.

That’s the kind of pride and self-assurance the little boy wanted to have. Someday.

If it was him in those pictures with the monkey, he could look at them every day and think: If I could do this, I could do anything. No matter what else you came up against, if you could smile and laugh while a monkey did you with chestnuts in a dank concrete basement and somebody took pictures, well, any other situation would be a piece of cake.” ~End excerpt from Choke.

MY PERSONAL THOUGHTS on ‘confidence’ and how making porn prepares you for anything:

I’ve done some crazy stuff in front of a camera. There have been a lot of moments where the comedy of the whole thing seemed to outweigh the sexiness. MANY times. Like when I fucked myself with a tiny plastic man pretending he was a real mini man and I was using him as a human dildo. Like when I ate a hamburger with my mouth open showing me chewing and swallowing, pretending this was a man I turned into food who could still feel everything I was doing to him. Like when I jerked off a guy into a funnel going into a slaves mouth…really, who would do that in real life?!

I could give many more examples. My whole business model is based on doing the obscure, the ‘niche’ and doing it in a believable way so the guy who has this kink can do what he needs to do: have an orgasm.

I receive tons, I mean TONS of emails of gratitude for the fucked up shit that I do. It means a lot to some people. I enjoy the variety and creativity but the humor is not lost on me. I do not laugh at those who have these fetishes, we can’t help the way we’re hard-wired, but I do laugh at myself. To stand back and watch me flirting up a storm with my video camera, you would think that I have a camera fetish!

Obviously it takes a lot of confidence to start doing what I do. You can’t have a thin skin because there will be critics and petty, catty, jealous people who will try to tear you down to make themselves feel better. One must remember that there will always be someone out there better than you (and someone worse!) but at the end of the day you’re only in a race against yourself.

There certainly is a “If I can do this, I can do anything” attitude that comes after being successful in this business. After exposing yourself, spreading your ass cheeks for an HD close up of your asshole and any other body part you’re not real sure looks good enough to be seen in that light. We all have things we don’t like about ourselves and HD video is unforgiving. Aging in front of the camera is a whole other can of worms, but I’m doing it anyway because I’m as addicted to this business as many of you are addicted to me. We’re in this together. I die-hard exhibitionist needs her audience, her creative outlet, the dirty thrill of being a pornographer.

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WTF?

Shoving a hairbrush up his butt?!

Would I REALLY be talking on the phone?!

Twisted Giantess Porn

Fuck Santa

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You might think from the title that this is going to be some angry rant. I know how people love the drama so I’m sorry to disappoint. What this IS though (better, me thinks) is a dirty Xmas story. If you like erotic literature you might enjoy a piece of my very own creative writing…

Twas the night before Christmas and all through the house the only thing you could hear was the faint sound of uncomfortable moans and the slow, impatient tapping of an exquisitely sculpted stiletto shoe.

Tia had not been a good girl this year. After several years of marriage she had finally had enough. She was sexually frustrated and started to take it out on her increasingly wimpy husband. It started with her taking matters into her own hands during sex, forcing him to just watch her get herself off better than he could. Then she introduced toys, bigger and thicker than his unimpressive little dick. Then she started to enjoy having all the pleasure and denying him an orgasm, punishing him for years of disappointing lovemaking.

Now, months later, she was ready to take things to a new level. Her husband was tightly tied, gagged and sweating bullets. He had been locked in chastity for weeks while she teased him mercilessly. Her cruelty, although intimidating seemed to have him entranced. Sure, he could leave anytime he wanted, he went to work every day but he always came home to her. It seemed crazy that they had this bizarre life behind closed doors but at the same time, this was the most excitement he had ever had. Tia had also grown more more attractive over the last year. Her sexual power beamed out of her and men stared everywhere they went. He was lucky to have such an attractive wife.

He looked at Tia now and it nearly took his breath away. From that impatient foot tapping on the marble floor, up those killer legs encased in silky stockings. The heels causing her foot to arch beautifully, her calf to flex and her ass to lift. That ass. My god, a work of art with the garters framing it, the tiny piece of sheer fabric nuzzled into the dark place which he was sure must be getting very wet. The perfect proportion of hips to waist. Her skin looking like velvet in the soft light…

There was a noise at the fireplace and she turned to look, a small smile turning up the corners of her red painted mouth.

With a flare of the fire all of sudden there he was: Santa Fucking Claus.

Tia had written Santa a letter telling him what she wanted for Christmas: a nice, long, hard fuck from a REAL man with a thick juicy cock. She wanted her sexually useless husband to watch her being truly satisfied. The thought of her husbands suffering fueled her sexual appetite.

Words didn’t need to be exchanged. Santa started to remove his bulky red suit and beneath was a strong, broad shouldered man used to carrying large sacks of gifts. His cock stood at attention, so erect it curved upward and impossibly thick at the base…the thickest Tia had ever seen and immediately her cunt started to flex and pump juices in preparation. He closed the space between them in a few paces and pressed his hardness firmly against her as he brought his lips within an inch of hers, giving her a second to caught her breath. Her knees went a little weak as his tongue started to softly probe her mouth the same way he would soon be licking her pussy. The tiny bit of fabric between her legs was now soaked through with her horny juices…her tied up husband nearly being forgotten in the moment…his eyes bulging and watering as he looked at the giant cock pushing against his wife’s tummy, seeing the size of it next to her he felt entirely inadequate…

Santa laid Tia down on the bed within a few feet of her bound husband, his cock now pressing painfully against his chastity device and drool pouring from his gagged mouth.

After a brief stop at each nipple, panties were slid down and Santa’s mouth was kissing and licking Tia’s sweet pussy. His strong hands cupped her ass as he scooped her in closer to devour her horny cunt, tonguing her clit as she erupted in a powerful orgasm. Her cunt was plump, pink, dripping wet and ready for that massive, rock hard cock. Santa held her legs wide so her (now panting and slobbering) husband could see clearly. They were both enjoying making him suffer now and it was fanning the flames of their passion.

Just the head slid in at first…he paused as he felt her hungry cunt flex around his cock, felt her hips raise to take more…slowly, inch by inch she took it all as he slowly rocked it in and out, stretching her horny cunt. To her, it felt like nothing else in the entire universe existed except her beautifully filled pussy. The pleasure bursting like fireworks. Tears filled her eyes as a wave of emotional passion washed over her…and she started to cum again, her whole body orgasming around that glorious cock.

He then started thrusting faster and harder, abusing her cunt with that giant cock…and she loved it. He flipped her over on her knees where she could look directly at her husband while she was getting fucked from behind. He saw a primal, animalistic lust in her eyes as she pushed back on that thick cock. Santa was looking at him too, smiling smugly as he grasped her hips, pulling her in hard, fucking her aggressively, fucking her like a REAL man, in a way he was certain her husband had never done.

Seeing the husbands humiliation combined with his sexual frustration was a turn on and Tia came again, hard, as she felt Santa thrust even harder, his cock pumping her pussy full of cum.

She collapsed in a puddle on the bed, smiling, purring…as Santa undid the husband, removed the gag and gestured towards Tia’s open legs. The chastity device was still on so Santa could only mean one thing. What else had Tia written in her letter to Santa?

There was a sparkle in her happy eyes but also a look of supreme feminine power that her husband could not refuse. He was too weak. He would do whatever she ever asked of him. Forever.

Kneeling between her legs, he caught Santa’s wink to her as he went out of sight. He got to work gently licking and cleaning his wife’s well-fucked, cum filled pussy as she moaned softly, cumming again quietly….

Merry Christmas to all and to all a GOOD night.

Entranced by her feminine power...

A determined, horny, powerful bitch...

A woman who deserves a good fuck...

Below ME, where you belong...

That magnificent ass...