The desperate imbalance on Ashley Madison

That wedding ring carries SO much meaning...

That wedding ring carries SO much meaning…

Another blog post inspired by an article I just read…this one about the incredibly few real women that were on the “Ashley Madison” dating site:

http://gizmodo.com/almost-none-of-the-women-in-the-ashley-madison-database-1725558944

For those who missed the whole “Ashley Madison” scandal recently, it was a dating site specifically for married people who were trying to cheat on their partners..& it was hacked, exposing a whole lot of guys. Uh-oh.

Side note: If you want to keep your online activity secret be sure to use a unique email address for that purpose only, and cover your tracks.

This article went into technical detail about their investigation into how many of the female profiles were completely fake. Fake, as in created by staff at Ashley Madison. Millions of desperate, horny men were active on this site, seeking a play partner outside of their marriage…viewing profiles, sending messages & checking their inboxes for responses that never, ever came. The site charged these men, even charged them to have their accounts deleted! (Then didn’t even delete their information).

These guys were spending money & time trying to meet a woman or women who wanted to have sex with a married man. To fulfill his sexual fantasies with…when it would have just been simpler to pay a professional who would deliver. There’s integrity in just paying to have your fantasy fulfilled. A clear transaction folks.

Did all these guys really believe that thousands of women were on a DATING site hoping to have a fling with a married guy? Wow. Just, wow.

But the site marketed themselves like that. It sold millions of horny men that fantasy.

I’m also in the business of selling fantasies. But surely most guys understand that? What are the odds that I could be everything & every role I play in the wide variety of vids that I create? In the last few years I have been a therapist, a high-powered boss, a spy, a nun, a teacher, a MILF, a GILF, a prison guard…a Dominatrix who trains sissy sluts, who fucks asses, who encourages guys to suck cock, who loves boot worship, foot worship, ball busting, hurting & humiliating guys 100 different ways, a cuckoldress who sometimes keeps you in chastity, more often tells you to jerk off while watching me with other men…a cuckoldress who claims to love black cock one day & the next tells black men they’ll never be worthy to fuck me…there have been a few more contradictions over the years & dare I say I could even be called a hypocrite…IF you took everything I said & did as the gospel truth.

I’ve digressed a little from the theme of this post…which is really a harsh illustration of the massive imbalance in this world of men’s & women’s desires. There are a lot more (like waaaaay more) married men hoping to have an affair then there are women hoping to have an affair with a married man. There are way more men hoping to live out submissive fantasies with Dominant women then there are women who are eager to peg a guy, piss on a guy, spank him, dress him up in lingerie, tie him up & edge his cock for hours, etc.

This is why men pay women for these services & why women pretty rarely pay for sexual services from men. There is a massive imbalance.

You could get all butt hurt about this or you could look at it this way: it’s really nice when someone cooks for us. It happens sometimes. Friends or family will invite us over for dinner & serve us a nice meal. And we appreciate it when it happens. But most of the time we need to cook for ourselves or pay for someone to prepare it for us (restaurants). We don’t bitch every day about the lack of people interested in cooking for us for free. Right? Well, it’s basically the same for sex in a lot of cases.

In life, your attitude often determines your level of happiness. If you’re bummed all the time about not finding the perfect women to fulfill your fantasies (for free/in real life) then it’s your attitude that needs to be adjusted. Use vids, your imagination, cam shows or in person sessions while keeping an eye out for your unicorn in real life. Accept that the odds are not in your favor & find pleasure in other parts of your life. Desperation & depression will only lead to stupid decisions, like the many men on the Ashley Madison site.

Good luck!

Best,
Mistress T

Members site: http://www.MistressT.net
PPV: http://www.clips4sale.com/23869
Blog: http://www.MistressT.net/blog/
Twitter: https://twitter.com/MistressTdotnet

Sex Party for the Disabled

mistresst_bazinga

I just read this Vice article covering a sex party in Toronto for the disabled:  http://www.vice.com/en_ca/read/an-inside-look-from-the-toronto-club-that-hosted-a-sex-party-for-the-disabled?utm_source=vicefbca

In my years in the fetish scene & as a sex worker I’ve encountered a fair number of sexually adventurous and/or kinky “other-abled” people. The brain is the biggest sex organ, so even if someone is in a wheel chair, is down a limb, has coordination issues from some medical condition, is visually impaired or something else doesn’t mean that they’re not sexually healthy, curious, adventurous or active.

The article also reminded me of the movie “The Sessions” where a man in an iron lung who wishes to lose his virginity contacts a professional sex surrogate with the help of his therapist and priest: http://www.imdb.com/title/tt1866249/

It was a fantastic movie. Very well done.

My experiences with other-abled people have made me more accepting & open-minded.

There was the foot fetishist is a wheel chair who in the middle of our session needed to empty his bladder. In the position we were in it was just easier for me to fetch his pee jug for him. As I was emptying the jug into the toilet for him I noticed how I felt more like a nurse or caregiver than a Dominatrix in that moment. But it was the practical thing to do.

latex_nurse_behind

Another very sweet client was in such a way that he couldn’t really reach his own penis. He had a caregiver to wash him but you can imagine how he looked forward to our sessions…those rare orgasms were intense & therapeutic.

I’ve had quite a few fans on web cam who have mobility issues. The web cam sessions gave them excitement & interaction.

I even have a story from my teens, long before I was Mistress T, when I spent the night with a friend who was paralyzed from the waist down. He was so happy to just cuddle & give me pleasure, to have the intimate human contact even though he couldn’t have intercourse. I didn’t do it because I felt sorry for him…it was just a casual thing, we weren’t dating, but I was attracted to him. Since the focus was pretty much all on my pleasure it was a uniquely satisfying experience. I confess, I’ve often looked at attractive men in wheel chairs & wondered if they’d be extra skilled at pleasing a woman with their mouths & hands. The way a blind person has better hearing.

I’m sure disabled people want to be liked for who they are despite their disability, rather than “because” of their disability. Which brings me full circle to the Vice article that inspired my blog post today.

I think a sex party for the disabled is a fantastic idea & I applaud the organizers in Toronto who put this together. I wonder how many others are like me, interested or curious about sex with people who are ‘other-abled’ but are shy or unsure of how to meet someone. You don’t want to rock up to some guy on the street & say: “I see you’re in a wheel chair so I’m thinking you’re an ace pussy licker, wanna mess around?” It seems de-humanizing or objectifying to have the disability be the launch point. So a sex party would be an amazing exploration opportunity for the disabled & those who are interested…well, there are those who actually have specific fetishes for disabilities but I’m not an expert on that so I’ll bow out before I say something uninformed.

I feel like this blog post has gone on too long. I am sensitive to everyone’s short attention span these days. So I’ll just trail off & recommend you read that article.

Cheers,

Mistress T

Members site: http://www.MistressT.net
PPV: http://www.clips4sale.com/23869
Blog: http://www.MistressT.net/blog/
Twitter: https://twitter.com/MistressTdotnet

The Art of the “Tribute”.

I am not an expert on Financial Domination. Not even close. This post isn’t about FinDom either…to be clear…it’s just my thoughts on “tributes” and some of my recent experiences.

Lots of gifts from my Amazon Wish List!

Lots of gifts from my Amazon Wish List!

A rose by any other name would smell as sweet…a tribute is basically a gift. It’s called a tribute in the FemDom world based on your worship of “The Goddess”…but it’s basically a gift…and it often feels just as good to give a gift as it does to receive it.

A gift is not normally exchanged for something. You don’t give a birthday gift to someone you love expecting something in return. You may well get something in return but it isn’t like paying for a thing or a service. It isn’t a barter.

I have a fan who takes care of my tea needs. How it all came about now doesn’t matter but on an ongoing basis he checks in to see how my tea supply is & when I’m running low he mails me my favorite tea. I drink green tea pretty much constantly when I’m at home & I often think of him when I’m enjoying that tea.

I love tea!

I love tea!

By doing something sweet, simple & thoughtful he remains top of mind. Because of that he was contacted directly recently when I was passing through his part of the world & we met up for a session & dinner. There are very few fans who would have that opportunity.

I have another fan who is always looking for thoughtful ways to tribute me. He has sent me books & movies that I have shown interest in. He has provided unique insight into topics I’ve been curious about. He always sends thoughtful, generous gifts for my birthday. He is always thinking of me & I know it. He is one of the only ones who gets random emails from me just chatting about life because he stays in my mind.

My Amazon Wish List (http://www.amazon.com/registry/wishlist/LYLSUGVVJA6W/ref=cm_sw_r_tw_ws_Ui5Zvb045VBN0) has served as an excellent vehicle for all kinds of fans to show their adoration for me. At first I added sexy clothing, things I thought my fans wanted to see me in. Fishnet body stockings, slutty boots, etc. I was reluctant to add ‘practical’ items like frying pans, laundry soap, comfortable foot wear, winter coats, bird seed, tooth paste, granola bars, etc. But as I started to add those things & guys bought them for me I realized how very appropriate this was. How that is in-line with what I’ve been preaching for years: there is fantasy & there is reality.

In fantasy I spend all day in my castle wearing thigh-high leather stiletto boots, wielding a whip & being pampered & served by all manner of slaves, one in my bathroom for toilet duties, sex slaves chained up in the bedroom, kitchen slaves & servants cooking & cleaning, a slave as a door mat & boot cleaner, all my furniture just being human chairs, etc.

This is not my living room.

This is not my living room.

In reality I walk a lot & need comfortable shoes. I don’t have or want domestic slaves. I live in a regular apartment, do my own laundry, etc. I would rather have some useful kitchen gear or yummy granola bars than another fishnet body stocking (I have about 30 of them by now!).

This is the truth & although I want my fans to immerse themselves in the fantasies I carefully create while they’re jerking off…afterward I want them to remember I am a real person, a regular human, not a 2 dimensional porn puppet. Thinking that I am a whip-wielding sex pot Dominatrix 24/7 is actually objectifying & unhealthy.

Cinderella's castle at Disney in Orlando...not MY castle!

Cinderella’s castle at Disney in Orlando…not MY castle!

When I receive a tribute of any kind I feel ‘seen’, acknowledged & appreciated. Whether it’s appreciation for the way I make a fan feel with my vids or it’s a gift to support me in my regular life…it just feels GREAT. Based on some fans sending on-going tributes I assume they’re getting similar pleasure…or in some cases I’m sure it’s a “Financial Domination” type rush.

Some guys even give to charity as a way of tributing me…& that’s a beautiful thing to do. Here’s info on my favorite charity, Kiva, you can make micro-loans (with or without getting the free time on my site): http://www.mistresst.net/blog/uncategorized/loan-to-a-worthwile-cause-get-free-porn/

So, thanks to all the fans who tribute…for the love of the tribute. The fans who appreciate me & like to do things to make me smile. Of course, joining my members site and/or buying my vids from my clips store is the BEST way to support me. That is my core business, my art, my passion! Amazon gift cards, cash tributes on my clips store or sending gifts are all lovely & very much appreciated too. xo

Big love,

Mistress T

Members site: http://www.MistressT.net
PPV: http://www.clips4sale.com/23869
Blog: http://www.MistressT.net/blog/
Twitter: https://twitter.com/MistressTdotnet

Amazon Wish List: http://www.amazon.com/registry/wishlist/LYLSUGVVJA6W/ref=cm_sw_r_tw_ws_Ui5Zvb045VBN0

 

VLOG! Alexandra Snow, Sidonia von Bork & I.

While filming for the well-loved FemDom site “The English Mansion” I filmed a casual chat with Alexandra Snow & Sidonia von Bork.

Click here to view the FREE vid: http://www.mistresst.net/free_video

Free vid with Alexandra Snow, Mistress T & Sidonia Von Bork at: http://www.mistresst.net/free_video

Free vid with Alexandra Snow, Mistress T & Sidonia Von Bork at: http://www.mistresst.net/free_video

It was wonderful to spend so much time with Sidonia in England (http://www.TheEnglishMansion.com/) who remains, as always, an inspiration. One of the most skilled, intelligent & creative Dominatrix’s I’ve had the pleasure of working with.

This week Alexandra Snow is a guest of honor at FetishCon in Florida. I am not attending this one but have attended several conventions which brought me together with peers from across the globe. It may have even been a FetishCon a few years ago where I first met & became friends with Alexandra (who resides in Ohio).

Having the opportunity to develop meaningful friendships with these strong, successful women in the same industry means a great deal to me. I’ve said it before, I can sometimes feel isolated running my business on my own with few others who understand what I do.

Speaking of friends in the same industry…I just spent a couple days in Portland with Ceara Lynch (http://www.cearalynch.com/) who showed me the HBO “Sex On” episode that featured her. I thought it was very well done, accurate & entertaining. I feel so much joy seeing my peers doing well, kicking ass in their careers and also achieving work-life balance. Ceara has just returned from 2 months traveling around Australia & New Zealand. Alexandra enjoyed exploring England recently & has been doing lots of fun & interesting things in her personal life. I was with them both in Mexico less than 6 months ago.

Also…The vicious Lexi Sindel of http://www.FemDomEmpire.com came to visit me in Vancouver recently. It was a personal visit (no filming) but I hope to get down to Vegas to film with her (again) in the next few months.

Back to Alexandra Snow…you can see us together (a rare treat!) in “Cleavage Weakness” for all you boob lovers. It’s a sexy duo jerk off instruction with lots of cleavage eye candy. Get it here now: http://clips4sale.com/23869

Alexandra Snow and Mistress T

Domina Snow & I in “Cleavage Weakness” on: http://clips4sale.com/23869

xo

Mistress T

Members site: http://www.MistressT.net
PPV: http://www.clips4sale.com/23869
Blog: http://www.MistressT.net/blog/
Twitter: https://twitter.com/MistressTdotnet

Seattle & Oregon!

Road trip!

Road trip!

I have spontaneously decided to drive down to Oregon this coming weekend for an event. As I’m passing through Seattle (or beyond) I may be motivated to stop & meet 1 or 2 lucky fans. (On the way down & back).

So, what’s possible? Based on the unique & mostly personal nature of this trip there are limits but here’s some ideas:

1. Public meeting: Just want to meet me, share a meal, buy some used panties right off of me? Sure! (Minimum $300).

Fresh & moist!

Fresh & moist!

2. In a hotel room or your place: tie & tease/hand release, foot worship, clothed face sitting, golden showers, humiliation, a variety of role-plays. (Minimum $400 but considering there will likely only be time for 1 lucky guy, he who is the most generous will win this opportunity.)

That could be your cock...

That could be your cock…

3. Cuckolding: yup. For real. I’ll be traveling with my fella. He’s bi & a cream pie is possible. This is also available in Vancouver now! (Minimum $500, but as above, chances are he who offers the most will get this opportunity.)

Cuckolding, up close & personal.

Cuckolding, up close & personal.

I will not be bringing any props or working in a dungeon so no corporal, no fancy bondage, no strap-on, no fetish attire dependent scenes…as usual, no hard sports, no intercourse or oral sex (unless forced bi cock sucking or cream pie clean up.)

If there’s something you’d like that I haven’t listed but you think might work without props or a dungeon, feel free to ask!

To separate the very keen fans from the not-as-serious tire-kickers I’m implementing the “tribute to apply” rule I recently used for my UK trip, which worked out beautifully.

Ways to pay $50 tribute (yes, you must tribute to apply to see me, but 1 option is to join my site, which I would expect from most fans anyway):

-Tribute button on my clips store: http://www.clips4sale.com/23869 (Clip cash card should work even if you don’t have a credit card)
-$50 worth of vids from my clips store: http://www.clips4sale.com/23869
-Get a premium membership to my site: http://www.MistressT.net
-$50 gift card from Amazon.com (sent to email address below)
-$50 worth of gifts from my Amazon wish list: http://www.amazon.com/registry/wishlist
If you only have PayPal this will work:
-$50 micro-loan through Kiva: http://www.mistresst.net/blog/uncategorized/loan-to-a-worthwile-cause-get-free-porn/

Or a gift card for my favorite spa (paypal):

http://www.mirajhammam.com/gift-certificates/

HOW TO APPLY:

Send an email to MsT@MistressT.net:

#1. With proof of the tribute.

#2. Introducing yourself & your interests. Include references if you have them.

Best,
Mistress T

Members site: http://www.MistressT.net
PPV: http://www.clips4sale.com/23869
Blog: http://www.MistressT.net/blog/
Twitter: https://twitter.com/MistressTdotnet