Story Paused: What else will I write about?

Some of you may be wondering what the dickens I’ll write in this blog when the story gets caught up to present day…and we are getting close.

I have a few ideas…one of which is digging into specific fetishes. The more bizarre the better. I’ll educate & inform, shock & titillate…maybe introduce some folks to new kinks. I’ll include pics & vids for those who are more visual.

I’ll also go back in time and recant some other personal stories that I left out in the first big picture of story telling.

I will answer questions. You’re welcome to email me and ask for something to be answered or explained in my blog: MsT@MistressT.net

I will give you insight into the current day-to-day life of a 35 year old fetish film producer & performer. I have some pretty interesting interactions with fans (privacy always respected but if you write me a crazy email expect that I might share it with the world without your identity).

You can come along with me on my journey which is no where near complete. What will happen next? Find out WITH me.

Subscribe and know the moment I add something new here…or follow me on Twitter…or both!

MistressT PVC Fetish Goddess

Fetish Glam

The client who became more…

At this writing I am 35 years old. The story at this point puts me at around 30/31. At that point I was happily working away as a busy Pro Domme. I traveled a bit for work, around Canada and the US. I had some great adventures and everything was going smashingly. Apparently that’s not a real word but I like it anyway.

One day a new client called asking if I would consider a trampling session with a shoejob finish. This was iffy because I did not give handjobs at that time…but rubbing the bottom of my shoe against his cock until he came seemed ‘just’ okay. He sounded nice. He requested regular clothing, no fetish attire and asked if I could just act like a normal woman, not like an in-role Dominatrix. I was used to all sorts of fantasy fulfillment so I said “no problem”.

I’ll never forget how he looked laying on the floor below me, candlelit, sensual music playing, his muscles straining under my weight as I dug my heels into his flesh. He was beautiful. I thought he was years younger than me. Such a nice looking boy.

It was unusually erotic for me. I was very professional in most of my sessions but there was something different about this one. I made a note of it at the time.

He came back to see me several times. He would bring wine. I bought a special glass so I could easily pour it into his mouth while he was laying below me. I would let him stay longer. We would chat. He had excellent manners. I looked forward to our sessions. Too forward. He was a client. I needed to stay professional, but he was different. There was no real Domination, just kinky games between two people who weren’t pretending to be someone else. It was fun and it was hot.

It feels silly now how I struggled with my decision. I didn’t want to cross the line. I took my profession seriously.

Finally, after a session had gone double overtime at no charge I just said it: “I want to fuck you.”

He consented and we had somewhat awkward sex….but it had potential.

I invited him back for a personal evening, no business. We fucked for hours. It was amazing.

Things were complicated at first. I didn’t want to feel like I was getting paid for sex, but he didn’t want me to feel like he was taking advantage of the situation and getting free trampling and shoejobs. He would still book sessions and it was all business. Then when the time was up, we’d have sex. Or if I felt like company I’d call him up and go over to his place. Before I knew it, we were dating and it didn’t make sense to continue charging him.

He will be referred to as “C” as the story continues…

Mistress T trampling

Sexy Trampling

From office to strip club…

The summer I sold tequila on the nude beach I met two young women who were pretty but did not look like what I thought strippers should look like. They encouraged me to visit them at the strip club where they worked as non-contact private dancers (that means that they danced in front of a man but there was no physical contact between them). I found the whole thing intriguing but felt I was ‘above’ being a stripper. I had been using my big beautiful brain and purposefully not using my looks most of my adult life.

I reluctantly took an office job which I hated. I felt it was time for me to go back to being a responsible adult after my six months of travel and summer on the nude beach. Months past and I was bored so I looked for a bigger challenge. I found a better office job in outside sales and I worked my tail off for three months. I wasn’t given a sales quota as they expected new sales people to sell basically nothing the first quarter as they learned. I was aggressive and sold more than most of the seasoned sales staff, people who had been there for years. At the end of the probation period, they fired me. I was so shocked I laughed. I thought it was a joke. They explained that they wanted to build a company that was like a family, they wanted staff that would stay for the long term. I was so ambitious they figured I would just use them as a stepping stone and be onto something bigger in less than a year. I suppose they were right.

It was May 18 and I knew beach season would be starting up again soon. I was relieved to be free of the office world. I also decided to do something impulsive. I bought a wig and some slutty cloths. I went into the strip club and applied for a job as a private dancer and was hired immediately. I didn’t know anything about this world, this culture and I made some serious mistakes…but I knew how to sell and that’s what I did. I worked the room and I sold private dances. I was unstoppable. The customers loved me. Everyone else hated me. They thought I was cheating, charging less, ‘undercutting’ the other girls. It was untrue. I was charging more. I made more money than I had ever made but feared for my safety every night. It was a rush. I was someone else, disguised, a sexual vixen, desired by men, hated by women. I had all the power. The men weren’t allowed to touch me, they weren’t allowed to jerk off. I didn’t touch them. They could just look at what they could not have. I knew they would think about me later, when they were with their wives or girlfriends or when they were alone. I knew some of them probably jerked off in the bathroom or in their car after. I got off on their lust. I had a lover that I went home and fucked every night and every morning. All that sexual energy, I was like a cyclone.

This lasted for only four short months but it was enough time to save up for a down payment for a condo. I could have kept going but a violent, dangerous situation finally made me fear for my safety enough to leave that place. It was only a matter of time before something bad happened. I was not safe there.

I realize there are those who may be quick to judge and compartmentalize…saying that I’m less of a Domme for having experimented with submission (previous blog entries) or that I’m not worthy of respect because I was a stripper. I know too well the stigma that is attached to that profession. I encourage you to look at the individual and the unique set of circumstances before passing judgement and painting everyone with the same brush. This is the story of how I became who I am today and no one can deny that I am a very successful Female Dominant. In the words of the great Shrek, “I’m like an onion, I’ve got layers.”

MistressT Fetish FemDom Goddess lingerie

The Naked Truth

Story still paused: fan mail

I get a fair bit of fan mail, a lot of it rubbish…blathering, written I’m sure with one hand while the other is pumping a horny cock and I’d rather not repeat to anyone…but once in awhile I get something I feel proud of. In this case I only wish he had used better punctuation but I give it to you exactly as I received it:

hi mistress t. thanks so much for making another great mom-son themed vid. i must confess that the fetish is a big guilty pleasure of mine, and there’s nothing hotter than having you bring it to life and enrich it with your incomparable sexiness and poise. in this latest outing, there was once again so much to enjoy. for one thing, you looked incredibly hot in your outfit. it gave you a tormentingly immaculate and unattainably ladyish quality that fit perfectly for such an iconically sublime, ideal, holy, forbidden character as a mom. as well as that, i really appreciated the great camera views showing off the delights of your awesome body and your wealth of hot, taboo dialogue. the latter always plays such an important part in keeping alive the mom-son-context a scenario. your character also had a neat mix of demureness and chastity on the one hand, and sex and sensuality on the other. it made for a fine bit of mind-fuckery – always keeping the viewer in suspense as to whether they’re going to get some loving or be sent packing. you have that same quality in a lot of your vids in general. i think it’s very effective how you alternate between intimate sweetness and cold dismissal. it’s like you’ve combined the good-cop/bad cop rolled into one persona. when watching, it can sometimes feel like being petted with a velvet glove one moment, then swatted with an iron gauntlet the next.

~His email ended and my comments start:

I was reluctant at first to do ‘Mommy’ porn. For one, incest stuff is illegal in a lot of parts of the world…but as far as it being wrong, well, who am I to police the thoughts in a person’s head? Not even being maternal myself I have embraced my role as Mommy T. I receive the nicest email from fans of this genre & I can’t imagine them harming anyone. They tend to be the most respectful and gentlest of my perverts. I am clearly fulfilling a need so judge if you wish but remember: different strokes for different folks.

MistressT As MommyT

Don't mess with Mama T!

Story paused: FREE previews

I know some of you are dying to know what happened next in the journey that brought me here…but now is a good time to remind you of what the current ‘here’ is. So, have a look at my latest preview page (July Preview): http://www.mistresst.net/promos

Enjoy!

By the way…I say the ‘current’ here as by the time I get the story caught up, who knows where I’ll be. I have recently turned down offers for a reality TV show (I don’t want to be THAT kind of famous.) but have accepted offers to do interviews…so who knows what’s next?

MistressT Fetish Goddess with leather glove and stiletto boots

Gloves, Boots & Bitch: perfect!

Free spirit

Shortly after San Fran & things ending with the judgmental boyfriend another life-changing event happened.

At that time I was proud of myself for landing a prestigious outside sales job. I had purposefully only taken inside sales jobs for years, doing my thing on the phone so that no one could say that I got by on my looks. Having had a lot of success just using my brain & my voice I decided it was time to use the rest of my assets. I leased a brand new car. I wore business suits. I took pics of myself in my business suit next to my brand new car and sent them to my Mother. I wanted her to be proud of me.

Friends took me to Wreck beach one day. It was a clothing optional beach and I had no problem gearing right down. It felt amazing to be nude outside, with the ocean breeze caressing my skin. A cute, blond surfer boy came along selling drinks. There was just something about him. His tanned skin, his disheveled sun bleached hair, his sparkling blue eyes and relaxed manner. I had to get to know him better.

I came back to the beach and pursued him. We had a hot fling and as I got to know him I was fascinated with his free spirit way of living. Early 30’s, hanging out at the beach making a simple living, partying a lot, traveling to exotic places in the winter for months at a time…he was the happiest person I ever met and it came through in the way he fucked. So present in the moment. So passionate.

He encouraged me to come down to the beach after work and sell tequila shooters at sunset for fun and extra cash. It seemed to be a crazy idea, selling tequila shooters nude, on a nude beach? Crazy was just what I needed. That summer there was a song that kept playing on the radio with a line that haunted me, “I think my life is passing me by…” Here’s a link to the vid/song: http://www.musictory.com/music/Sam+Roberts/Brother+Down

Summer was coming to an end and all I would have was a job that I actually hated. A job I was doing because I thought it would make my Mother proud. Even though, bless her, she always just said she wanted me to be happy. She also said that I was too entrepreneurial to ever be satisfied working for someone else.

I decided that I would go to India. I didn’t have much money saved but I would have just charged it on my credit card. A girlfriend invited me to go to Japan with her to make quick cash hostessing with her for a few months. She had done it before. It was long hours but easy, just pouring drinks, singing karaoke and making conversation. No sex, no stripping, no funny business. That was all true except it wasn’t easy. At least not for me. I felt like a slave. Management was very strict. It was a hard 3 months but it was an adventure and then I went to Thailand for a month and India for 2 months. Alone!

I could expand on what happened in those 6 months of travel. I have a lot of stories. But this isn’t a travel blog and I have a feeling that my readers are more interested in hearing how all this contributed to me becoming ‘Mistress T’. It started with meeting that beach boy who taught me that there are other ways to make a living and better ways to live your life other than just climbing the corporate ladder and conforming to other people’s rules. He taught me that it’s important to be true to yourself and to not care what people thought. Making a major life shift doesn’t happen over night. I rebounded back into the corporate world a couple more times before I left it for good. That beach boy has always been in my life, still is, to remind me to be true to myself.

The summer I returned from India was the best summer of my life. I sold tequila shooters every day at the beach. I partied a lot. I had 3 wonderful lovers on rotation. I slept with who I wanted when I wanted and there was no drama. I started attending fetish parties in Vancouver. I began to move in the direction of incorporating my sexual kinky side with my entrepreneurial side. I started to get braver, more confident, more self aware. A fire had been lite and it started to burn hotter, pushing me in the direction of becoming ‘Mistress T’.

MistressT beach bum

Mistress T: Beach Bum

More fun in San Francisco…

I kept in touch with the male Dom who I met at The Power Exchange…he who flogged me first. He invited me to come back and I can resist anything except temptation.

On one trip I brought my boyfriend at the time. This turned out to be a poor choice but a worthwhile learning experience, but I’ll get to that. First I’ll tell you about meeting the famous “Midori” ( www.planetmidori.com ) Among other things, she’s known for being the author of “The Seductive Art of Japanese Bondage”. She was doing a rope bondage stage performance at a big fetish bash and I had the opportunity to help out behind the scenes body painting some of her victims/models. I got to meet her and received a signed copy of her recent CD of erotic stories. She was lovely and it was a thrill meeting someone so well known in the fetish community.

During this event I also had an opportunity to ‘bottom’ under some very talented Doms. I loved being strung up in front of a crowd. I was spanked, flogged and experimented on (electro-play, etc.). To be honest, I didn’t care for the acts (other than flogging) as much as I loved being watched.

I had been having my fun, checking in with my boyfriend from time-to-time. It was a big party, he was wandering off and coming back and I thought he was having a good time. I was deep in ‘sub space’ being flogged in front of a large crowd when I caught his eye and noticed something was off. I went up to him and asked. Things were NOT okay. He had just had enough of watching me ‘getting beaten’. He looked disgusted. People were watching us talk, they could read the situation. I was humiliated and ashamed. I felt like a freak for enjoying myself. I felt selfish for not realizing he wasn’t having fun. I was emotionally vulnerable after hours of ‘play and excitement’. It was like being dropped from a 10 story building. I just broke down.

That was about 10 years ago and I was not then who I am today. Now, at 35 I would likely not get myself into such a situation and if I did, I would react differently. Then, however, it was crushing. I cried in the cab all the way back to the hotel and cried all night. He did not try to comfort me. I felt like a disgusting human being for being into kinky stuff.

Obviously, we didn’t stay together, but that doesn’t even matter. The important lesson I learned was about emotion and the vulnerability of  ‘sub space’. It helped me later on to be a good Domme.

My journey in learning to accept my kinky side has not been a straight path. I had my set backs and uphill battles. Maybe you, my reader, have similar stories? I invite you to comment here if you like. I know I’m not alone in my love of kink anymore…you are not alone either *smile*.

MistressT Fetish Goddess

Vulnerable

 

BDSM beginnings…

While I was working as a receptionist at that big company in my early 20’s a coworker introduced me to an interesting website. I think it was called “Bianca’s Woods” or something like that. It was a place where people could write sexy stories and post them for others to read.

Most of the stories were the usual sort of thing but one story really caught my attention. It was a long story written from a woman’s perspective. She needed work and took a job as a maid/servant in a fancy mansion. She sensed something was unusual there but couldn’t place it. When she finally met the owner of the house and her real boss she was so nervous she spilled his drink. He took her over his knee and spanked her. What followed was a slippery slope of events that climaxed in a very intense scene…she was prepared, presented, strung up, stimulated, and fucked by a group of people. The interesting part was that it was all written from HER perspective, and it was very consensual. The reader could ride the emotional roller coaster with her, her shame, her wrestling with this side of herself, her giving into it, etc. There were various elements of BDSM, electro stimulation, pain & pleasure and in the end, even a dog!

The same author wrote other stories, all from the woman’s perspective. Her struggle with giving herself, submitting.

I found this theme very exciting. Submission. Control. Domination. Pain & pleasure. I wanted to explore but I didn’t know how…but just like most, I found my way, didn’t I? *grin*

A couple years later I was in San Fransisco with a platonic male friend. I asked the concierge at our hotel to recommend a place that would blow my mind. All I wanted was an address, no other info. We ended up at ‘The Power Exchange”. If you’re familiar with this place now, understand that it was very different 12 or 13 years ago when I first went. I’ll describe it:

The Power Exchange was a live sex/BDSM kink club. The first room we walked into, hearing loud music coming from somewhere beyond, was a medieval themed room with a big wooden table & fireplace…and a huge viking looking man flogging a women tied to a cross…her male partner on the other side of the cross kissing her and stimulating her front. It was a powerful introduction and I watched in awe for the first time, someone being flogged and whipped. Each time she was struck her body moved so beautifully.

We continued on and each room we entered offered more to overload my senses. Cages, peep holes, a room full of TV’s playing porn movies, people masturbating, people fucking, people watching, people being Dominated…a women lying on a bed with about a dozen men fondling her…eventually we came across a scene that many others were watching. A beautiful woman was tied to a cross being punished by a somewhat mean looking man dressed all in leather. She was instructed to explain to the crowd why she was being punished: she had burnt his toast that morning. A rumble of laughter went through the crowd and I smiled too. That’s when he looked directly at me and asked if I wanted to come into the scene.

I didn’t even turn to look at my poor, freaked out friend, I just slide under the chain and into their space. They both quickly explained that this was all consensual, explained safe words, etc. He handed me a vibrator and instructed me to touch it to the cloths pegs that were attached all over her nipples, breasts and pussy. I loved the way she reacted. She was very animated & vocal. She kept looking me in the eye and smiling between screams of pain. He then put a rubber glove on my hand, lubed me up and instructed me to fist her. I did and it was like having the whole world in my hand. By now the crowd had grown to dozens, all watching the naive newbie play in public for the first time. I must have been quite the sight.

I realize at this point I have your full attention but I also understand that attention spans are short these days so I will leave it there for now and continue later. There is more, oh-so-much more *grin*.

MistressT Femdom Fetish Goddess in red & black

Decending into the depths of depraivity

Why I really moved to Vancouver…

When asked why I moved to Vancouver I often say ‘weather & economy’ but the real reason is that I fell in love with a married man. Here’s the story:

 

I was 20. He was 10 years older and the owner of the company I worked for. He was married with a 2 year old. After a drunken office party fling that should have ended there we became more involved. We had a month together right away as his wife and child were out of town. We fell in love. He filed for divorce and moved out. Then flip flopped for 10 months until he finally decided (and rightly so) that his child was more important…you see his wife took the child far away and wouldn’t come back unless they reconciled.

I moved away to give him space to do the right thing. I wasn’t about to be his long term mistress and that’s exactly what would have happened if I stayed. The attraction was so great we simply could not stay away from each other.

It was the hardest thing that I had ever gone through…and 15 years later I can tell you it’s still the hardest thing I’ve gone through. Heart break. Losing the person I felt such a special connection to. Anyone who has had their heart broken understands how intense this type of pain can be. There’s certainly been enough songs and poems written about heart break. We all recognize that this pain can be even worse than having a loved one pass away.

So, with a freshly broken heart I packed up what little I had and with $1000 in the bank I moved to Vancouver just before my 21st birthday. I stayed with distant family that I didn’t really know for the 1st two months while I got settled.

Every cloud has a silver lining though. Moving to Vancouver was one of the smartest things I’ve ever done. Also, the married guy convinced me of something important: that I could do ANYTHING I chose to do. He saw potential in me and lit a fire that has never gone out. There are few things as powerful in this life as making yourself completely vulnerable to someone, exposing yourself, giving yourself over to someone and THEN to have that person tell you that you are more wonderful than you ever imagined.

Without that I’m not sure that I would have done all that I have with my life. It drove me to reach higher, to try harder and to believe in myself. Other than luck, reaching higher, trying harder and believing in yourself is pretty much all that separates the successful from the unsuccessful, in my humble opinion.

MistressT FemDom Fetish Goddess Rooftop Vancouver Canada

On top of the world in Vancouver

Story paused: London Rubber Ball

I’m pausing the story to share a photo I just received from the lovely Nina Birch in London. It includes herself and the diabolical Fetish Liza (red latex) and Moi.

MistressT NinaBirch FetishLiza Skin Two Rubber Ball in London 2011

Fetish Liza, Nina Birch & Mistress T in London for Skin Two Rubber Ball May 28, 2011

I had an amazing time recently in London. This photo was taken the night that we all shared a hotel room and attended the Skin Two Rubber Ball on May 28. 2011.

Just a couple days before we had all been at The English Mansion’s FemDom Ball. I met some amazing people (these ladies included), made some great business connections and personal friendships. Maybe in a future blog entry when the story gets caught up to this point I’ll delve into more detail…like the hot tub scene that seemed to be the highlight for many…

More on Nina:

http://www.ladyninabirch.com/

More on Fetish Liza:

http://www.fetishliza.com

http://www.glovemansion.com/

More on The English Mansion where you’ll find films featuring Nina, Liza and myself (although not all together at the same time):

http://www.theenglishmansion.com/