Just arrived in Bali

This is just a quick n’ dirty update. The internet connection is a bit dodgy & I’m bushed so I’m not going to write much…and no pics.

It’s around 4am in Bali. It took about 22 hours of travel to get here from Vancouver today. The first part of the journey was a 12 hour mediocre movie marathon to Singapore which actually flew by. A several hour layover in the Singapore airport dragged on and I slept a little on the 5 hour flight to Bali. It was a restless sleep despite the Valium I took. I only take Valium to help me sleep on planes or to cope with jet lag. I call it my travel drugs.

I traveled solo today. My friends are meeting me here later today. I don’t mind traveling by myself. I’ve done more of that then traveled with people. There are pro’s and con’s to both.

I enjoy the hours of time to think and be alone in my head, while being surrounded by other people. If they speak another language, even better. It’s company without requiring me to engage.

I arrived at the Bali airport and immediately recognized the familiar, unfamiliar smell. I’m always fascinated by the way different places smell. Hot, humid places have a somewhat musty, moldy smell. Earthy. Dirt.

I made it through their various lines for ‘Visa On Arrival’, customs, etc. along with about a hundred other weary new arrivals. Mostly Chinese. I used the bathroom in the airport and was delighted to find a squat toilet. I had grown fond of them while in India. It does feel more natural to squat than to sit. I noticed with amusement several cockroaches in the bathroom stall too. Ah, the little things I love about being in an exotic place.

I examined my new currency and figured out what I thought was a fair price for the taxi ride to my hotel. I wasn’t surprised when the first taxi driver quoted a ridiculously inflated price. This is always the game. I’ve been to India twice, Thailand five times, Vietnam, Cambodia, Cuba, Brazil, Argentina, etc. The right price is usually about a quarter of what they first ask for. I don’t get angry. I’m amused. It’s not my first time at this rodeo. I’m polite but firm and I get the ride to my hotel for the price I had pre-decided on, which was still a little generous so I think everyone was happy.

A whole paragraph on taxi fare? This is a big part of traveling in places like this. The bargaining, haggling, the not getting ripped off. It’s a game and it’s part of their culture. It’s always a significant part of travel in places like this. It’s not like the US or Canada where the price is the price (usually).

The taxi driver was very sweet and made nice conversation on my way to the hotel. I was a little surprised at how run down things looked in the dead of night. A lot like some parts of India & Thailand. Wild dogs roamed the streets but that was about it for life. All the shabby shops & business’s shut up and quiet.

The hotel is beautiful. I usually travel on a shoestring budget but my friends wanted at least a 4 star place. The staff were waiting for me. Just me, a lone traveler at 4am. They brought me a welcome drink of delicious orange juice. A nice boy carried my bags to the room. The french doors overlook the pool which I can barely see in the dark. I can hear the breeze rustling in the palm trees.

I already feel a million miles away, physically and mentally. I did just respond to about a half dozen emails but I will request that if your email can wait until after April 15, I would appreciate if you didn’t send it until then. I hope to spend far less time than usual dealing with business email.

I’m going to shower, take some hippie drugs (melatonin mix from the health food store) to help reset my internal clock. I’m going to drift off as the sun is coming up and will likely be awoken early afternoon when my friends arrive.

So it begins.

This is just a random old picture from a couple years ago I thought kind of fit with this blog entry.

Travel News: London & Hungary, etc.

In the month of May I will be in London (+ Hammersmith & Bath) and Budapest, Hungary. I hope to squeeze in a couple days in Paris…I do SO love Paris.

The primary reason for my trip is to film again with The English Mansion (Bath) and Nikki Whiplash in Hammersmith (again)…and for the first time with Fetish Liza who I haven’t worked with but did spend time with socially at The English Mansion last year.

You can see previous vids with me on The English Mansion here:


Here’s Sidonia Von Bork & I enjoying a glass of wine & a nice arse licking in the hot tub:

You should bookmark Sidonia’s fantastic blog: http://www.theenglishmansion.com/blog/

You can see vids with me on Nikki Whiplash’s sites here:



Here’s Nikki:

Nikki Whiplash & I during my last visit to the UK.

I’m excited to be working with the diabolical Fetish Liza:


Here’s Liza:

A slut for shopping

Liza’s blog has some good pics of me actually: http://fetishlizablog.com/

Although filming is the main focus of this trip I will be going to the Torture Garden fetish party in London on May 5. The last time I went it was mind-blowing. The costumes and eye candy: wow.

I will have very limited time for private sessions and already have a few clients I’ve seen before who would probably give their left nut to see me again. If you are very interested in meeting me while I’m in Europe you are welcome to apply but be prepared to be generous. I don’t ‘need’ to take any private sessions. I will accept a few bookings if they are irresistibly appealing.

I am also excited to have the opportunity to film with Lexi Sindel in LA during a brief 10 hour layover coming back from Bali mid-April. (Yes, I will be in Bali for a yoga retreat the first couple weeks of April. I’m just a little bit hippie. Now you know.)

You can find vids with me on Lexi’s clips store and on mine.

Lexi Sindel was kind enough to lend me her pussy/ass cleaner last time I visited.

I also plan to go to FetishCon in Florida in August with Ceara Lynch. Our recent Vegas trip was so productive & fun we’re both excited to do it again.

Here’s is the lovely Ceara Lynch in one of the vids we filmed:

Ceara Lynch, being an incredible tease, as usual.

Ceara’s blog is a MUST-READ: http://cearalynch.livejournal.com/

I love working with all of these smart, independent women. There are no ‘pimps’ or male boss’s.  Some may have life partners/lovers or men to help with various aspects of the business, but they are owned and run by women. Very inspirational.

I have found the community of female FemDom producers to be very supportive. Not catty. It can sometimes be a bit solitary for me, especially if I’m in one of the phases where I’m just filming myself doing POV solo scenes with the camera on a tripod. For days, I can be working alone, filming & editing. I look very forward to these opportunities to work with other producers. To bounce ideas off of each other. To discuss business problems and share solutions. To learn about their stories, how they got to where they are. We learn from each other and have fun. Camaraderie.

So for those who recall my plan to travel less in 2012: it’s not going so well is it? *smile* I’m about to be gone for two weeks, back for three, then gone again for another three weeks. They say a rolling stone gathers no moss…

Mistress T

Members site: http://www.MistressT.net
PPV: http://www.clips4sale.com/23869
Blog: http://mistresst.wordpress.com/
Twitter: http://twitter.com/#!/MistressTdotnet

FREE PORN! Yes, really.

I’m being generous. Plain & simple.

I have added an entire free vid to the PREVIEWS section of my site:


You can stream or download it without being a member of my site.

This is a full length sample vid.

One of personal fantasies (that has occasionally come true in real life) is to have one or more sex slaves. Men that are primarily used for sex. Men with cocks I enjoy fucking. Men with good mouths and skilled hands who are trained to please me in the specific ways I enjoy. I would also share these sex slaves with my girlfriends. I would be proud of my possession and want to show it off. I would want my friends to enjoy themselves too.

In this vid I play out one of my fantasies. The exciting moments before a big event. Full of anticipation as if at the top of a roller coaster about to go down. My trained sex slave will be put to work satisfying some of my special friends. I want him to be able to stay hard all evening without getting too excited and having an ‘accident’ (cumming when he shouldn’t). So I milk a load of cum out of him to better prepare him for service.

It’s a sexy handjob vid with a more complex and erotic storyline. As a bonus, glove fetishists and latex fans will have some eye candy.

Sex Slave Pre Party Milking

If you want to see more you can either join my members site or get pay-per-view vids from my clips4sale store. I can’t hyper link to it from WordPress but you can copy & paste the link (remember to bookmark it!):


If you’re not already following me on Twitter, you really should:

You’re ok, I’m ok.

I felt compelled to write about fetish tolerance.

I’m not a sports fan. Watching basketball doesn’t really give me any pleasure. There’s a lot of people who REALLY like basketball, no question.

I’m not a big fan of rap music. I find it pretty abrasive actually. There’s a lot of people who REALLY like rap music, no question.

I could give a thousand examples but I think you know where I’m going with this.

Hardly a day goes by that I don’t run into judgement from someone about other people’s fetishes. Yesterday I got an email from a guy who actually said he is into eating scat but really thought I should stop doing incest themed clips. That was why he wrote actually, to request that I stop doing family-fantasy vids of any kind, because it offended HIM. He who is into one of the most extreme and controversial fetishes: feces munching.

This is a common theme in the fetish world: “My fetish is okay but yours is wrong/weird.”

There is no such thing as normal. Pretty much every person has at least some kind of sexual quirk that could be considered abnormal by anyone with a critical eye. Judge not lest ye be judged.

The internet has changed our sexuality. It has created communities for those with fetishes who were previously isolated. Before the internet, a guy with a fetish for wearing women’s clothing or kissing feet may have felt like he was the only person on earth who felt like that.

The internet has educated us. It has taught us all that there are many different fetishes out there. It’s also creating a snowball effect. A guy who was just into feet to start may now be into pantyhose covered feet, sweaty socks, shoes/boots, being trampled, footjobs (like a handjob with feet), eating his own cum off of feet, etc. On his own he may not have made the connection between liking to kiss feet and liking to have feet rubbing his cock…but once he sees it on the internet: ta-da!

The world isn’t getting less kinky. It’s getting kinkier. The sooner we all become more accepting of other people’s quirks and deviations the better.

The key to acceptance is the following:

Whatever involves consenting adults is all good.

My vids involve a wide variety of fetishes. On my clips store I have over 1000 vids that cover at least 120 different fetish categories. There’s pretty much something for everyone…but there’s going to be stuff you don’t understand or stuff that doesn’t do it for you. Just skip it and focus on what you do like. If you don’t like something I do, keep it to yourself. I don’t want to hear your judgement or negativity. If you don’t understand something try googling the fetish and educate yourself.

For the record, I don’t believe that is most cases being exposed to certain pornography causes people to do things in real life that are harmful to themselves or others. I don’t think a guy jerking off to a vid of me playing the role of his Mother is going to make him want to fuck or try to fuck his own Mother. Most people have no trouble separating fantasy from reality. Most people understand real-life boundaries. Most people have fairly intact morals and decent judgement. There are exceptions of course…a guy who may have never heard of putting a hamster up his butt may not have thought of it on his own and that may result in a visit to the ER & abuse of a non-consenting rodent…but overall, porn is a form of entertainment, a release. It’s not a gateway drug.

That’s it. Carry on.

Mistress T

Members site: http://www.MistressT.net
PPV: http://www.clips4sale.com/23869
Blog: http://mistresst.wordpress.com/
Twitter: http://twitter.com/#!/MistressTdotnet

The taboo idea of having a Mom as hot as me is the turn-on. Chances are, your own Mom doesn't look like me *wink*.

Jerking off to ME pretending to be your sister will not cause you to all of a sudden be attracted to YOUR sister.

Will this image turn you gay? Nope.

Nurse fetish? Medical fetish? Latex glove fetish? Don't get well soon!

More kitten blood, less time-wasting emails, please.

Other possible titles for this blog post:

1. What the fuck do you want from me?

2. I can’t take drawings to the bank.

Email management is a full time job. I try to respond to everyone but sometimes I cut corners and skip ones that seem crazy, rude or if there seems to be no value in it for me (I know that sounds harsh, but it’s a big, bad world out there and it’s time you knew *smile*.)

About a week ago I received an email that I chose not to respond to because I was super busy that day, although I would have normally sent a quick response to this type of email. This is it:

Subject line: Chickens

I’m bad at subject lines, so I just end up typing random stuff.

So I stumbled across a video of yours, and you scared the crap out of me, but I was a bit intrigued about the woman behind the one I was watching stand on some dudes face. Not a fan of domination, but whatever, I was intrigued to say the least.

Did a little “Google” homework and discovered you actually seem to be a really nice lady through reading your blog. After watching a few videos of yours I just assumed you would go around stealing children in the night and drinking kitten blood because of what you do professionally, but through the things you write, it hardly seems to be the case… well, maybe you are a vampire-zombie, but I won’t hold that against you. I joke. Truth-be-told, you seem like a pretty down-to-earth woman, and I can respect your business sense, and ambition to capitalize on a market – in your case – fetish/domination/kittens/standing on dudes heads.

I don’t really expect a reply, but I’ll send this e-mail anyway. I’m a photographer/video producer. I’m not exactly in the porn market, but I have an eye for natural beauty, and I think you have it in spades. I’m not trying to kiss your ass or anything, but I think you have a unique look.

I live up in Syracuse, NY, which is probably the last place you’ll ever end up, but if for some reason you do end up here, I would like to do some non-nude photographs(or video) of you. I tend to do really artsy type shit. Not really in the porn business, but if you wanted a camera guy to do a shoot for that up here in Syracuse, I could do that, as long as you were cool with my style of shooting… never mind, porn doesn’t exist in Syracuse : /

So yes, that is my crappy pitch! I kid. I just wanted to say I respect, and “get,” what you do as a business woman. If you do ever find your way to the frozen wasteland that is Upstate-NY, I would totally love to photograph you, because I do think you have this natural beauty about you, that I don’t think has been captured yet. Cheese I know, but you do have a unique look, and I truly mean it.

At any rate; sorry for eating up your time if you did make it through this email.



Today he sent me another email:

I sent you an email about a week ago. I didn’t expect a response, nor was I given one, but that’s okay because I understand how a business works. I decided to break the ice with you by drawing this awesome picture that I have attached to this email. I hope you enjoy because this is about the only thing I can draw. Good day ma’m.

WTF? (What-The-Fuck?)

My response was as follows. Please take note if you were planning on sending me an email that will take me away from what my time is best spent on: making more porn for my precious paying fans to jerk off to. Sending me flattering emails is not an unselfish act. You are looking for attention. You want to be acknowledged. It is manipulation disguised as being ‘nice’. I am not someone with low self esteem who needs to be told I’m pretty to keep me from committing suicide. If you truly want to GIVE or show your appreciation/respect rather than TAKE then do it with money. I am a business woman. Respect that. To put that in context, read my response and also read Ceara Lynch’s excellent blog post on a similar topic: http://cearalynch.livejournal.com/109616.html:

I didn’t respond because your email was about me coming to upstate NY, which I have no plans for. Your offer to photograph me is moot unless I plan to come to you to make it happen, which I’m not. You say you understand business…so while I enjoy my glass of kitten blood let me say: if you want a pen pal, I’m not it. If you want to pay for something (a custom vid, a webcam session, pay to see me by bringing me to you or you coming to me…if you want to buy me a gift/tribute, etc.) great. Let’s talk, but you’ll need to show me the money pretty quick for me to take you seriously. I can’t take drawings to the bank. If you aren’t interested in business or sending me any more kitten blood, good day (which means you don’t need to send any more drawings or emails).

Mistress T

Members site: http://www.MistressT.net
PPV: http://www.clips4sale.com/23869
Blog: http://mistresst.wordpress.com/
Twitter: http://twitter.com/#!/MistressTdotnet

Still think I'm SO nice? Suck it.

Don't be fooled by cute-ness!

A Peek Inside MY Fantasy World

One of the most common questions I’m asked is:

“What fetishes are you REALLY into?”

Obviously, it’s unlikely I’m personally turned on by every vid that I do. Who has that many kinks?

The answer is complicated. I find another person’s arousal arousing. Leaving judgement at the door I’ve allowed myself to be turned on by a wide variety of things. In the moment, in the right circumstance, almost anything can be eroticized. Spell checker is telling me that’s not a word? Fuck you spell checker:

eroticize, eroticise[ɪˈrɒtɪˌsaɪz]


(tr)to regard or present in a sexual way

eroticization , eroticisation n

I digress.

So, what goes on in my head when it’s just me and my hand in bed…or the jets on my tub…?

Here’s the tip of the iceberg: Objectification, humiliation and shame are usually a part of my personal fantasies. Taboo family fantasies often come into play too. Don’t read too much into that. I would never condone incest, pedophilia, etc in real life. As long as no one is harmed in real life, what happens in my head or in your head is fine and you should only feel ashamed of it if shame is what you’re into.

Here’s an example of a scenario that I would masturbate to:

It’s late at night. A car is parked in the driveway of a house. You can barely make out two people inside the car having sex from the perspective of looking out a window of the house. Who is looking out the window, watching? It’s the father of the teenage (about 18) daughter who is having sex with a guy in the car. The father is kneeling, his knees getting sore. He’s been there for hours, waiting, as instructed by the daughter. This happens pretty much every Saturday night.

The car door opens, she steps out pulling down her skirt and giving her boyfriend one last passionate kiss good night. She comes inside and ignores her stupid father at first until she gets herself into position, bent over the kitchen table, skirt pulled up, the moonlight coming in through the window showing her glistening, freshly fucked pussy. Cum smeared and dripping down her thighs. She snaps her fingers, he knows the drill, he crawls over and starts licking her pussy, cleaning her and giving her another orgasm. She’s cruel to him, saying things like: “You’re a sick fuck for being attracted to your own daughter. I would never, ever fuck you but I’ll humiliate you and use your mouth for my pleasure…the only way you get to lick my pussy is if it tastes like another man’s cum. I don’t want you to enjoy this too much. You’re so weak and horny you’ll do anything I tell you to. I know you’re thinking about me when you’re fucking mom. I know you feel ashamed and grossed out with yourself and you should. If I ever told anyone the truth your life would be ruined.”

Her complete control over her father turns her on, the power rush…but she’s not attracted to him. That’s why she bends over the kitchen table so she doesn’t have to look at him while his mouth pleasures her. He is objectified, degraded, used. He feels shame and sometimes even cries…which I love.

A ‘disclaimer’ on this: I lost my virginity when I was 15 to my 16 year old boyfriend. It was nice. I was never sexually molested by anyone and no one in my family was ever sexually inappropriate. This fantasy isn’t about me, they usually aren’t. The first time I felt arousal I was reading an erotic story which seemed to have set a pattern of fantasizing about other people rather than myself in a scenario. Having said that, I was a VERY sexual teen. The summer I was 16 I had many lovers and I loved every minute of it. I perused boys. I initiated sex. I know I’m not alone. Teenage girls tend to be just as horny as teenage boys.

The reason that many of my vids have complex story lines is because that’s how I’m wired. All of my fantasies are complex. There’s a lot going on. How people are feeling about what’s going on…rather than just penis-in-vagina sex that makes up most mainstream porn. I don’t judge if that’s what does it for you, but if there isn’t a story I won’t have an orgasm. I know by now that there is actually a lot of men that are on the same page.

I suppose in a way fantasy for me is more realistic if it’s complex. That’s life, isn’t it? Usually there’s more going on than just penetration. The brain is the most important sex organ!

Mistress T

Members site: http://www.MistressT.net
PPV: http://www.clips4sale.com/23869
Blog: http://mistresst.wordpress.com/
Twitter: http://twitter.com/#!/MistressTdotnet

"Put that tongue to work!"

Brat girls know their power!


New York Report

I’m sure many of you are on the edge of your seat wondering how things went with the guy in New York? Well, I’m not saying a peep about him…he does read this blog after all, as well as others who are more emotionally invested than most of you.

I have plenty else to talk about though, dontchya worry.

I enjoyed my super-swanky hotel room verrrry much. Spoiled rotten.

The Broadway play that we went to see was Venus in Fur: http://venusinfurbroadway.com/  It’s a sexy, complex story with a heavy S&M theme. Now I understand why he chose me to accompany him to THIS play. With his hand on my knee during the play he could feel my goosebumps as the action penetrated me personally. I loved it and would love to see it again…and again. I will read the book as soon as I can get my hands on it.

After the play and after dinner I suggested we see some live jazz. I’m not going to lie: I’m not a huge fan of jazz or blues BUT I do try to see it live when in cities like NY as we just don’t have much of it in Vancouver. Sitting on a bar stool in a crowded, tiny jazz club I felt like I could even be in New Orleans. It felt very exotic. A breathtakingly beautiful woman sat beside me and after exchanging a few words I leaned in to kiss her. With my date and her date watching I was risking humiliation if she rejected my advances but from my experience, nearly any woman will at least kiss me. The thrill of the split second before you know for certain if you’re about to enjoy a passionate embrace or an embarrassing brush off is such a rush.

She kissed me back…and kissing is one of my favorite things so I was happy to enjoy her for, I don’t know, 20 minutes or so.

Saturday night I was on my own as my gentleman friend had a previous engagement. I accepted a dinner invitation from a fan and we had a nice, casual time. He wanted to ‘play’ after dinner, I wanted to see live music. So we compromised. Just kidding, of course we went to see live music! Sadly though, it was late and we only caught the last two songs by http://therenaldotheensemble.com/ . They used an accordion in their performance & I’ve adored the accordion since my trip to Argentina years ago when I fell in love with the Tango.

The quirky band The Renaldo The Ensemble at The Livingroom in NY.

My companion for the evening (to be clear, this was a different fan/person, NOT the gentleman who brought me to NY for the play) had to run back to his wife and I wasn’t ready to go home yet so sat alone for about ten seconds before I was joined by some friendly men who kept me company for another hour or so until I decided it was time to call it a night. I went back to my opulent hotel room and enjoyed a bath in my swanky marble bathroom before bed.

Rub-a-dub-dub...this is a wonderful tub!

The gentleman who brought me to NY had to leave town on business so after spending Sunday afternoon with him I had 24 hours on my own until my flight out Monday evening. I love New York and I wanted to soak up more of it. Although I brought my filming equipment, I didn’t feel like staying inside. Although I had a list of session requests…again, I did not want to stay inside. I put out an email & tweeted that I was available for social time if any fans wanted to meet me….and you know what? Nothing came to fruition, at least not quickly enough. So off I went on my own.


Most of my adult life I have preferred traveling solo. I backpacked thru India solo for 2 months, Thailand, Argentina, Brazil, Cuba, and on and on…it’s not for everyone. It can be lonely, awkward and lame. When amazing stuff does happen, chances are the people you’re with you’ll never see again so you don’t have someone to share those memories with, which can suck a little. It’s a different experience from traveling with a companion. Both have pro’s and con’s.

The main difference is that your chances of random adventure go up ten fold when you’re traveling solo. You are much more likely to meet new, interesting people and do some crazy stuff.

First, I went to see an amazing show: Fuerzabruta



I hadn’t looked at the site and knew basically nothing about it going in. If you plan on seeing it don’t watch the vids on the site because they give a lot away. It blew my mind.

Fuerza Bruta show in NY. Creative, heart-pumping theatrics!

Fuerza Bruta show in NY. Beautiful, interactive water performance that's impossible to explain. I was in awe.

Fuerza Brutus show...there are 2 people suspended & running sideways across giant foil sheets! Crazy!

After that I went to the legendary jazz club: Birdland http://www.birdlandjazz.com/  It was a special night and it was packed to the gills. I was lucky to wrangle a stool at the bar where I was amused observing James the bartender work his magic. He had clearly been there a long time and many knew him by name. It was a much older crowd and the music a slower pace…although I loved it, I was craving something a little edgier so I left after the first set.

Live jazz at the legendary Birdland! James, the awesome bartender in the bottom right corner.

Someone had recommended I check out the rooftop bar at the Gansevoort hotel:  http://www.hotelgansevoort.com/rooftop-pool/index.cfm I found it very cold & unwelcoming. They were also filming something there and the lights & camera’s made it even less inviting. I didn’t even finish my drink.

Next stop: the Brass Monkey: http://brassmonkeynyc.com/ I nearly turned and walked out as soon as I stepped in the door but I made eye contact with the bartender & would have felt like a dick if I left. I ordered a drink and he gave me a deal, as a thank you for staying. I inquired if this was a boys only bar or something because the only patrons were men, a real sausage party. I then asked if there was a comic book convention in town as most of the men looked at me like I was from another planet. None would have had the courage to approach me. Matt the bartender turned out to be all the entertainment I needed. We shared some jokes, had some laughs and all was going swimmingly until a couple of gay guys all of a sudden invited me to join them someplace more interesting.

We went to The Standard: http://www.standardhotels.com/new-york-city/ The rooftop bar was amazing with great music, atmosphere, decor…clearly a very gay friendly place (I often prefer gay bars). I finally got my dance on and was having a great time…but those gay boys felt like they could show me an even better time so off we went.

I’m not even sure where we went next. I think it was below The Green Room. There was some confusion at the door and the boys had to commit to paying a $150 bottle service before we were allowed in. It seemed to be one of those places where the elite go which was somewhat entertaining. Lots of interesting artwork and the same people who were filming at the other place were there partying, not filming. I had a drink, met some interesting people & observed the wild life. Although it wasn’t my scene I was happy to have experienced it. It’s a different kind of tourism for me.

Some of the wild life at the last mystery 'elite' club.

Some of the interesting artwork at the mystery club.

More interesting art at that bizarre club...

I could have taken a hundred pics...the whole place was covered in interesting stuff...

So, tips for having a successful solo night out:

#1. Being an approachable looking female helps. Sorry guys. Some of this info might help you but being a woman is a bonus in situations like this.

#2. Smile. A lot. Forget about trying to look cool or aloof. Make eye contact, look calm, comfortable but happy & inviting.

#3. Sit at the bar, not at a table. Tip the bartender well as soon as possible and make conversation. Let him/her know you’re from out of town and looking for adventure. Talk loudly enough for anyone close to hear you too.

#4. Don’t get drunk. Keeps your wits about you. Sip your drinks and don’t worry about finishing them if you’re ready to move on. Never leave your drink unattended and don’t accept a drink you didn’t see the bartender mix. If you’re not sure, don’t drink it, pretend to spill it or ‘accidentally’ leave it in the bathroom.

#5. Have at least two really good jokes memorized and be able to tell them well. At least one of them should take a couple minutes to tell, like a story.

#6. Be open-minded. Be prepared to hang out with ANYONE interesting, no matter if they dress in a style you like, if they’re in a different age bracket, if they have a common taste in music…often those who are NOT like us will be your guides on the best adventures.

#7. Be grateful. Tip bartenders well who are helpful. They often have the best info on the local scene. As nice as your company might be for your single-serving friend make sure they feel appreciated for taking a chance on you. All of us enter these little dances with similar apprehension (“Maybe this person will be boring or dangerous?” etc.).

At the end of the day, there are more people out there that would rather hug you than hurt you. A lot of people find it enjoyable to show a tourist their town. People have a lot of pride in where they live and like people to leave with a good impression. I have seen this in every place I’ve ever traveled.

Wouldn't you rather hug me??? *batting eyelashes*

My last day in NY I settled a score that’s been nagging me for two years. I finally got a pair of Louboutine’s. They were ridiculously expensive but since it’s so difficult to find size 4 shoes to fit me, it’s the one thing I occasionally splurge on. I almost bought a pair when I was last in NY two years ago and regretted not doing so. Life’s too short for regrets.


Mistress T
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Louboutine's...how I love thee, let me count the ways...