How To Introduce Kink Into Your Relationship

MILF Mistress T in a business suit.

“You want to know what?!”

I often get emails from guys asking my advice on how to introduce their kinks to their partners. To which I respond: “I’m not fucking Ann Landers!”. Okay, I’ve actually never said that, but for a moment you thought I was a bit of a dick, didn’t ya?

You might be surprised how communicative & friendly I’ll be for a generous tribute…so if you’d like to benefit from my years of experience feel free to contact me for personal, customized assistance. (Tribute button is on my clips store:

For free, I’ll share a few general tips for you right now. See, I’m not a dick. *smile*

If you’ve been jerking off to some kinky porn, feeling like a freak secretly & fretting that you’ll never be able to have your fantasies come true, you might be right. Especially if you’re into the Giantess fetish, Vore, castration fetish, or something especially tricky. If you’re just into feet, getting pegged (strap-on/bum play), getting peed on, giving up control, cuckolding (fantasy, at first at least)…those kinds of things might be doable within your relationship.

Of course every relationship & gal is unique. These are only guidelines.

#1. Be really fucking good to your lady. Whatever that means to her. Help out around the house, make her a meal, fix something, move something, give her a back rub, draw her a bath, take her to that place she likes to go, basically: suck up. Be a gentleman & make her feel cherished. A woman tends to be more receptive to accommodating what you’re into if she feels like she’s gotten everything she wants.

#2. Make sure she’s sexually pleased. Find out what she wants & give it to her. However she wants it. Let her know she can ask you for ANYTHING & you won’t judge, you’ll do your best to make her sexually satisfied. (Similar to #1 but you should do BOTH sexual & non-sexual things to make her happy.)

#3. Read Savage Love articles together & discuss what advice you would give before you read his responses. This opens up a dialogue & gets you both thinking about alternative sex stuff. You can probably even find articles dealing with your specific kink! That’s a great way to introduce your gal to it & measure her reaction without making yourself too vulnerable.

#4. Have a drink or two together. Don’t get shit-faced. Just 1 or 2 drinks to relax you both.

#5. Bring it up lightly. Low pressure. Something like: “I’ve got a confession…I’ve been getting turned on by _____ lately for some reason. It might be fun to explore. What do you think of that?” NOTE: Obviously start at the lowest level of whatever you’re into. If you want her to pee on you, start with asking if you can lick her clean after, that you just want to taste a drop. If you want her to fuck you with a strap-on, start with a condom-covered finger. If you want to worship her feet, even if you like them dirty/smelly, start with kissing her toes in the bathtub. If you want her to take control just suggest she tie you up with some neck ties or scarfs & have her way with you/use you like a sex toy. If you want her to sleep with other men (cuckolding) ask her to just pretend she’s been with another guy & role-play telling you during sex. If you want to cross dress, Halloween is a great time to start gently.

#6. Don’t pressure her. If it turns her off, leave it alone. Let her know the lines of communication are open if she wants to discuss why you have this interest or whatever. If she thinks about it for a bit & discusses it more it might marinate into something she gets excited about exploring too. But not if she feels pressured.

#7. Be grateful for ANY effort she makes. Even if it’s not playing out perfectly or taking longer to get to where you want to go be sure to let her know how much it means that she’s indulging you. Positive reinforcement. Keep being really good to her. Don’t be a douche & sulk or punish/guilt her if you’re not getting what you want.

Sex should be fun for both of you. Make sure you communicate that clearly. This is play, it’s fun, it’s recreation, exploring, checking things off your sex bucket list, etc. If you both have a healthy attitude about sex you’re probably fine.

Be prepared for a negative reaction. She might be grossed out or turned off. If that happens don’t freak out. Handle it with grace. It seems to be rare that even couples with healthy functioning relationships also have sexual interests that match up perfectly. If she’s not receptive, you’ll make do like so many others, watching porn, seeing Professionals, having affairs or breaking up & looking elsewhere. Such is life.

Good luck!
Mistress T

Members site:


Enough BBC yet?

For those few who are not interested in the whole interracial cuckolding thing this will likely be the last blog entry about it for awhile. Feel free to email me to request a topic you’d like me to blog about:

Now, for the MANY of you who are into this I have lots of pics & news for ya. My special black bull has cum & gone. *ha ha* He had a wonderful visit in Vancouver.

Mistress T with black bull.

Awww…he looks so happy!

Mistress T & black bull.

Horsing around…(pony play?) Bull riding?

He loved English Bay & Stanley Park. Samantha Mack came with us to Whistler & we went on the peak to peak gondola which was breathtaking.

Mistress T & Samantha Mack.

The view was stunning inside & outside of the gondola, thanks to Samantha Mack!

Mistress T at Whistler.

Tourists love Whistler!

A few friends gathered at Wreck Beach for a sunny afternoon (clothing optional beach).

Interracial cuckolding with Mistress T.

He had to work on his tan apparently….

He was my arm candy for a very hot sex party. I got to watch him fuck a beautiful woman: SO hot.

Of course we managed to squeeze in some filming & did a variety of scenes. Each one is unique & special. I will edit them & release them slowly over the next couple of months. The 1st one has already been released:

Mistress T with Black Bull.

“Black Is Better”

You can find “Black Is Better” on my clips store now:

Here’s just a taste of what’s coming:

Mistress T with black bull in interracial cuckolding scene.

A bird in the hand is worth two in the bush!

Mistress T with black bull.

Oh, SO close! If you stare at it long enough maybe it will go in…

Mistress T getting fingers by black bull.

“Okay, without looking, how many fingers do I have in your pussy?”

Mistress T jerking off black stud.

Ka-pow! Splooge all over your face!

Humiliation with Mistress T.

That’s right: worship HIS feet before you get to worship mine! How humiliating!

Mistress T

Members site:

Random Thoughts on Cuckolding

Savage Love’s column today inspired me to blog:

I was very interested in the 1st piece about cuckolding. In a nut shell: a wife complaining about her husbands obsession with wanting her to fuck other men & cuckold him. She wasn’t interested. Fair enough.

It’s unfortunate that there are so many mismatched couples. There are supposedly monogamous relationships where one or both are cheating behind the others back.¬† There’s are also people who wish their spouse would sleep with other people but the spouse isn’t interested in anyone but them. In my profession I often speak with men who wish their wives would sleep with other men…often these are men who are seeing me behind their wives back. Either they want to be cuckolded or they just think it would be hot to see their sexy wife getting fucked by another guy.

I have been fascinated with non-monogamy for as long as I can remember. My first boyfriend lied about NOT being a virgin & the thought of him being with another girl turned me on. (I later discovered that I was his first). Sure, I’ve had my moments of jealousy but I have more often been turned on by the thought of my lovers being with others. I like to hear about it & use my imagination, but sometimes I like to watch too.

When I discovered cuckolding I took to it like a duck to water. It combined several of my personal kinks. I enjoy creating cuckolding vids & delving into this fetish deeper & deeper.

Mistress T in Honeymoon Cuckolding.

Is that a close enough look cuck?

The next natural step is for me to be with a black man. This is a very powerful image for many, many cuckolds. The black stallion ravaging a white lady. For many the black male represents the ultimate in virility. Men of African descent are known to (often) have larger cocks than men of other ethnicity. I could go on & on but at the end of the day if the idea & visual of interracial cuckolding turns you on that’s all that matters.

I will mention, as a matter of interest, that I have received a little racist hate mail regarding my interracial vids. For all I know it could just be one guy as it sounds basically the same. I find it somewhat amusing to hear a hater say that I’m lowering myself by having sex with a black man. The only black man I’ve had sex with in my vids is of higher pedigree than most. He was raised upper-middle class, is well-educated & works hard in white collar job. He takes very good care of his health (you can see that by looking at him) & he’s a very sweet guy with a positive attitude. He’s not a thug, gangster, drug dealer, pimp, criminal, low life, etc. He joined me in Vegas in January & attended numerous social engagements with me. I was proud to have a well dressed & well mannered nice guy on my arm. He was well-liked. He is black. That might make him a sex symbol in some circles but this is for certain: being black doesn’t make him less than any of you. In fact, because I have decided he’s worthy of fucking me you all should bow down to him.

Haters are gonna hate though…& racists are going to continue to be ignorant.

If you want to be a cuckold (filmed or private) the black bull is visiting me in Vancouver this month! Email:

Feel free to add a comment but I will not allow racist comments on my blog so don’t bother typing them out. No one wants to hear it.

Mistress T

Members site:

Mistress T with a big black bear.

As they say: Once you go black you never go back!