I often get emails from guys asking my advice on how to introduce their kinks to their partners. To which I respond: “I’m not fucking Ann Landers!”. Okay, I’ve actually never said that, but for a moment you thought I was a bit of a dick, didn’t ya?
You might be surprised how communicative & friendly I’ll be for a generous tribute…so if you’d like to benefit from my years of experience feel free to contact me for personal, customized assistance. MsT@MistressT.net (Tribute button is on my clips store: http://www.clips4sale.com/23869)
For free, I’ll share a few general tips for you right now. See, I’m not a dick. *smile*
If you’ve been jerking off to some kinky porn, feeling like a freak secretly & fretting that you’ll never be able to have your fantasies come true, you might be right. Especially if you’re into the Giantess fetish, Vore, castration fetish, or something especially tricky. If you’re just into feet, getting pegged (strap-on/bum play), getting peed on, giving up control, cuckolding (fantasy, at first at least)…those kinds of things might be doable within your relationship.
Of course every relationship & gal is unique. These are only guidelines.
#1. Be really fucking good to your lady. Whatever that means to her. Help out around the house, make her a meal, fix something, move something, give her a back rub, draw her a bath, take her to that place she likes to go, basically: suck up. Be a gentleman & make her feel cherished. A woman tends to be more receptive to accommodating what you’re into if she feels like she’s gotten everything she wants.
#2. Make sure she’s sexually pleased. Find out what she wants & give it to her. However she wants it. Let her know she can ask you for ANYTHING & you won’t judge, you’ll do your best to make her sexually satisfied. (Similar to #1 but you should do BOTH sexual & non-sexual things to make her happy.)
#3. Read Savage Love articles together & discuss what advice you would give before you read his responses. This opens up a dialogue & gets you both thinking about alternative sex stuff. You can probably even find articles dealing with your specific kink! That’s a great way to introduce your gal to it & measure her reaction without making yourself too vulnerable.
#4. Have a drink or two together. Don’t get shit-faced. Just 1 or 2 drinks to relax you both.
#5. Bring it up lightly. Low pressure. Something like: “I’ve got a confession…I’ve been getting turned on by _____ lately for some reason. It might be fun to explore. What do you think of that?” NOTE: Obviously start at the lowest level of whatever you’re into. If you want her to pee on you, start with asking if you can lick her clean after, that you just want to taste a drop. If you want her to fuck you with a strap-on, start with a condom-covered finger. If you want to worship her feet, even if you like them dirty/smelly, start with kissing her toes in the bathtub. If you want her to take control just suggest she tie you up with some neck ties or scarfs & have her way with you/use you like a sex toy. If you want her to sleep with other men (cuckolding) ask her to just pretend she’s been with another guy & role-play telling you during sex. If you want to cross dress, Halloween is a great time to start gently.
#6. Don’t pressure her. If it turns her off, leave it alone. Let her know the lines of communication are open if she wants to discuss why you have this interest or whatever. If she thinks about it for a bit & discusses it more it might marinate into something she gets excited about exploring too. But not if she feels pressured.
#7. Be grateful for ANY effort she makes. Even if it’s not playing out perfectly or taking longer to get to where you want to go be sure to let her know how much it means that she’s indulging you. Positive reinforcement. Keep being really good to her. Don’t be a douche & sulk or punish/guilt her if you’re not getting what you want.
Sex should be fun for both of you. Make sure you communicate that clearly. This is play, it’s fun, it’s recreation, exploring, checking things off your sex bucket list, etc. If you both have a healthy attitude about sex you’re probably fine.
Be prepared for a negative reaction. She might be grossed out or turned off. If that happens don’t freak out. Handle it with grace. It seems to be rare that even couples with healthy functioning relationships also have sexual interests that match up perfectly. If she’s not receptive, you’ll make do like so many others, watching porn, seeing Professionals, having affairs or breaking up & looking elsewhere. Such is life.