Being judged sucks monkey balls.

Watch me read this blog entry (I guess that makes it a VLOG?). Download or stream the 6 minute vid here:

I have a pretty charmed life. A unique life that I have very carefully created. It’s not always easy being me though. Today was one of those not-so-easy days.

If you’ve read my blog from the beginning you know that it took me awhile to go against what society expected me to do and to do what truly makes me happy. So many people just go through the motions in life. Like Lemmings. Sheep. Being true to yourself and finding your own path, especially when it is unusual, can be difficult.

When people find out that I’m a Dominatrix or a Fetish Porn Performer/Producer they tend to have more misconceptions than you can shake a stick at. They tend to jump to bizarre conclusions about what kind of person I must be and what kind of life I must live. I used to enjoy educating people. Now I’m so tired of being judged I avoid telling people what I do.

Today I learned that my neighbors have seen my website, followed my twitter feed and they’ve read my blog. Hi neighbors: I know you’re reading this too.

It seems they are uncomfortable with me living in their building. Why?

It’s a morality issue cloaked in an illogical concern for building safety. The assumption being that I must have a parade of sicko’s coming and going ready to cause property damage or a disturbance.

There is, in fact, no logical reason for them to be concerned. I’m an excellent tenant and neighbor. I’m quiet and considerate. I may also be a kinky, immoral, sexual deviant but any of the other neighbors could be too and just not put it on the internet. What I do does not impact my neighbors in any way. I’m not even loud when I have sex!

Do I sound a little defensive? I am. No one likes feeling judged.

I live in a very gay friendly neighborhood. At one time a gay man would have had to hide his sexuality from a landlord and neighbors because people wouldn’t want ‘one of them’ living in their building…assuming there would be a parade of sicko’s coming and going at all hours engaging in filthy, immoral gay sex acts. You would be hard-pressed to find anyone brave enough in my neighborhood these days who would discriminate against someone for their sexual orientation.

My point being that over time, people become more accepting…and maybe within my time I’ll see people become more open-minded about folks with kink’s & fetishes. People won’t assume that someone who makes porn for a living is an unsavory neighbor.

No one who comes to my home is going to cause property damage or any disturbance. My friends may be kinky or open-minded, but they’re not hooligans. Why am I explaining all this anyway? I’ve lived here for a month without incident. I have nothing to apologize for. The only incident has been my neighbors actions to make me feel uncomfortable in my new home. I have as much right to feel comfortable here as they do…and I’ve done nothing to infringe on their comfort. They have snooped and spied. They have created imaginary dangers, judged me and made me feel unwelcome. Who is the real bad guy here? If anyone has a reason to feel ashamed of their actions, it’s not me.

What will happen now? Well, I love my new place and I plan on staying for as long as I can. I have a feeling that the neighbors will come around and relax over time. I certainly hope so…because  I will not leave without a fight.

~ Do you have a story about being discriminated against or judged by a landlord or neighbors for your lifestyle or kinky occupation? Feel free to send me your stories and maybe I’ll make a blog entry with other people’s experiences. Sometimes it’s a comfort to know you’re not alone…and part of the reason I live my life so openly is for the camaraderie. So, share away!


Mistress T

Members site:

Beware of this unsavory neighbor. She doesn't believe in God or monogamy.

Be on the look out for this dangerous deviant. She may be armed with a dildo!

Fear & Danger

At yoga practice last week the teacher partnered us up to work on hand stands. I was paired with a very timid girl who was too scared to flail herself upside down against the wall into the hand stand position. Although I’m not good enough to do it without wall support yet, I have no hesitation doing a hand stand against the wall. I know that no matter how badly I fuck up, I’m not going to hurt myself. My feet will hit the wall, but I couldn’t possibly do it hard enough to cause any damage.

I demonstrated this several times for the timid girl and explained that she couldn’t hurt herself if she tried, she just had to assertively throw herself against the wall. Easy!

She couldn’t do it. Too scared.

It got me thinking about fear and perception of danger.

It reminded me of a conversation I recently had with a girlfriend. When I told her I was being flown to New York for a date of sorts her first response was: “oh, be careful!” This really rubbed me the wrong way…I suppose it’s my knee-jerk reaction to authority or Mothering. I launched into a bit of a rant asking her what exactly she thought I needed to be careful of? Rape? Murder? White slavery? Getting my heart broken? It was my safety she was worried about which frankly was pretty much the last thing I was concerned about. The idea that a man would fly me across the country to hurt me? Especially after proving his own identity (so he’s not even anonymous). And ME? Ha! I’m not exactly an easy target if you’re looking for a victim. I may be petite but I would not go quietly into that good night, I assure you.

I’m asked once in awhile if I worry about my safety seeing clients for private sessions….new film slaves, etc. The answer is that I’m no more concerned than I am of any random act of violence, a random car accident, an earth quake, etc. Shit happens in life. We do the best we can. I screen clients, I keep my wits about me when I’m walking alone at night, I wear a seat belt…beyond that, I live my life. More people in this world would rather hug you than hurt you. Love more, fear less. (Those last two lines come from the brilliant Halcyon who I know personally from Burning Man: )

I have seen literally hundreds of clients over the years. Of all those strangers and opportunities for something to go wrong I’ve only had one incident. It was with a client I had seen twice before without any problems. On the third visit I was training a new Domme, so I wasn’t even alone. In the middle of the session, without warning, he jumped up and grabbed me. He pushed me against the wall aggressively and the other Domme shouted at him. He immediately let go and ran down the hall and hid in the bathroom. I told him to leave which he did quietly.

I was shaken…mostly because I didn’t see it coming. It was simply random and at the end of the day I understood that. Shit happens. A nutter could have randomly attacked me in a grocery store.

Fearlessness doesn’t come from an absence of danger. It comes from surviving. After surviving all the crazy stuff that has happened so far in my life I have faith that I can handle myself in most situations. If shit does happen, I’ll be able to deal with it.

Fearlessness is also about a calculated risk. Ask yourself what’s the worst that can happen? Then ask yourself what’s the BEST thing that can happen?

My biggest fear is NOT  ‘living’ my life. I don’t want to regret NOT doing something. The Mae West quote I live by: “You only live once, but if you do it right, once is enough.”

So, I’ll boldly flail myself against a wall and I’ll happily go to NY for a date with a stranger. *smile*
Mistress T

Members site:

Hand stand! (Pic taken by a friend, way easier than trying to take my own pic!)

Do you have any idea how difficult it is to take a picture of yourself doing a hand stand?

Hand stand...face standing...why not?

Random trampling pic...

Another random trampling pic to demonstrate my superior balancing skills...

Balancing on one foot in fetish boots? Somewhat impressive...

New York: March 2-5

I’ve been to New York several times, mostly for work, so it makes sense that it’s one of the places I get the most requests to visit/the most session requests. To the many fans who have asked when I’m coming back to New York I have responded: not at least until the snow thaws and probably not unless someone makes it VERY worth my while.

Well, no one was more surprised than me when I found myself booking my trip to NYC March 2-5. It will still be colder than Vancouver, so you know that there must be a VERY motivating reason *smile*.

On Valentine’s day as a couple of doors closed, a window opened, so to speak. I received an invite I couldn’t refuse. Theater and dinner with a cute, charming gentleman who had developed an interest in me through my blog. He hasn’t even watched my vids. If I had to slap a label on it I’d say that it’s certainly more of a ‘date’ than a session or anything work related…especially since he seems more interested in the woman who is Mistress T. As I’ve said before, Mistress T the Dominant fetish freak, is very much a part of me but to quote Shrek: “I’m like an onion, I’ve got layers.”

I’m very excited. I’ve enjoyed our email correspondence so am looking forward to meeting in the flesh, plus I’ll be flying first class & staying in a fancy hotel!

This is more of a pleasure trip than a work trip but I will consider squeezing in a few meetings with worthy slaves. Since my time will be limited I will be very selective. The ideal slave(s) will be very generous. Willingness to be filmed would be a bonus. Deposits are a must and references help. If you’re planning to email me to inquire keep in mind that you will have competition so aim to impress from the first introductory email.

I will also consider filming with other producers…either modelling or trading content. Producers: you’re welcome to contact me to discuss.


Mistress T

Members site:

Me, in New York a few years ago...

Email the name of the NY statue I'm standing in front of for a 1 day pass to my members site:

Photo taken at Arena Studio's in NYC 2008 (Dungeon now closed)

Photo taken a Arena Studio's (Dungeon Rental) in NYC 2008 (Location now closed).

Photo by New York photographer: Angelo Amichevole




Fan Mail & Site Reviews

I receive some really nice emails. They motivate me to continue making quality smut *smile*. This blog post is just a few of those nice emails…also a link to one of my site’s recent reviews where there are even more nice things said about me. Pour it on baby!

“I want to say your movies are great. You obviously hear this platitude all of the time.
I find your ability to exude the combination of believable compassion with cruel undertones outstanding. Some try but just are not believable. Your siren qualities make you one of my favorite actresses.”

“As 140 characters will never do you justice Mistress T, I wanted to send you a quick mail to let you know that you really are one in a million. Having dug deeper into your blog, I could only leave it with an immense amount of respect for you (and I don’t mean a faux subbie’s respect either) – you clearly possess immense integrity and live your life in a way that is a slap in the face of the world’s many hypocrites. We could all learn a lot from you.

You’re a woman with a lot of humanity and, for me, that will always be your sexiest feature. Perhaps its what makes you come across as so maternal, too – that there is nothing manufactured or codified about what you do. Just a unity between who you are, what you desire and what you do. It leaves me in awe.

You’re a beautiful woman and you light up every picture, every frame you star in. I really wish you all the best from my humble little corner of the universe and would hope that were our paths ever to cross, we would enjoy each other’s company quite apart from any sexual scenario.”

“Thanks 4 the great site! It’s the hottest, most creative and sophisticated porn out there-and I don’t mean that in the lame, soft-focus, boner-deflating yuppie-porn way either. I maybe should have posted this in the forum,  but I hope it’s cool if drop it here. I read your bio of sorts in one of the forum comments and it feels like all your varied experince and restless individuality have come together in your great vids.
I’m one of those guys who’s disaffected by mainstream porn and looking 4 something-anything, with more imagination. Probably about half of what’s on your site doesn’t really turn me on, but the other half is so great I signed up! It’s funny how after seeing just about all the porn that’s out there, you can create something more exciting and subversive w/ just your own kinky imagination.  People forget that the brain is the biggest erogenous organ!”

My site was recently reviewed by Freeones. This is a part of it:

Conclusion about Mistress T. No matter what fetishes turn you on, gives you access to them. This is hardcore yet sensual and you will probably learn a thing or two that will allow you to get a bit freakier in the bedroom. There is no denying the beauty of this particular fuck model or the quality of this premium site. The navigation is simple, the photography is top-notch and the fun is nasty and even a bit dangerous. Give this site a shot for sure.”

Here’s a link to the whole thing:

Here’s a link to my site’s forum where you can find all of my site reviews…and even more nice things written about moi!

Thanks to all who have written me with kind words & support. I really do appreciate it. xo

Members site:

My eyes are up here...


I 'can' be a nice girl!

The shocking part is that I'm actually wearing panties for once...

I'm sitting on a guys face in this pic...

Too Strong?

I considered making the title of this post: “Fuck You” but decided to take a slightly less negative approach.

This is a sort of a follow up to my last post “Man Hater?” where I addressed the question (accusation): Do I hold men in contempt?

I’ve recently done the dating dance with a couple of fella’s…somewhat simultaneously (I’m a non-monogamist in case you didn’t know) and both have arrived at a similar place. Although the details are different the overall message is that my strength is an issue. One assumed I must be a man hater since I didn’t fall in love with him and the other couldn’t deal with the fact that I didn’t NEED him.

To protect the innocent I’ll leave out any more details and just focus on me (this blog is about ME, isn’t it?).

Valentine’s seemed like an appropriate day for all of this to come to a head. The dragon in me breathed fire as I considered the weakness of some men. Why some men need to feel needed. Why can’t they be happy with just being wanted?

I don’t need a man in my life. It doesn’t take a very sharp person to pick that up pretty quickly, I’m a bit of a man-eater. I can separate sex from love easily. I have quite a few ex’s as friends but I have just as many who are in the rear view mirror.

It’s no accident that I am the way I am. From a very young age my Mother groomed me to be a strong independent woman. I was raised in rural Nova Scotia where you were expected to get married and have kids. You could maybe be a teacher or nurse, but you better be able to cook a turkey dinner for 10 people, decorate a birthday cake like a car, get beet stains out of a table cloth and keep your husband happy. For some reason my Mother decided that I would have what ever life I wanted and all the better if it didn’t involve being a slave to a husband and kids. So she told me over and over: you need to be strong in life, take care of yourself, don’t depend on a man, do what makes you happy, etc.

Bless her soul. She created a god damn monster, didn’t she?

Maybe she laid it on a little too thick? I’ve become so strong & independent that most men just don’t know how to deal with me. Well, to those weak men who it seems I now do hold in contempt: fuck you.

Ah, that feels better…

Mistress T

Members site:

Fuck you. No really.

Who NEEDS a man when you've got a nifty pig statue!

I could toally toss this gas pump, like, the length of a football field! Roar!

This is a stick up. Give me your balls..oh, you don't have any...

Man Hater?

I was recently asked if I felt my job has caused me to hold men in contempt.

It’s a common misconception that Female Dominants, especially Pro Dommes and online Dommes are man haters. I take issue with broad generalizations. Things are just not as black and white as some might wish. Sure, some FemDommes are man-haters but that can’t be assumed of all of us.

You could look at my vids and see how I degrade and humiliate men and jump to the conclusion that I hate them…but if you think about it a little bit deeper you’ll realize it’s just the opposite. I degrade those who have a desire to be degraded. I’m not walking up to random nice guys on the street and calling them names!

In my personal life do I ‘hold men in contempt’ was the question. I thought about it and thought about how this job has changed me. Of course it has in many ways. I feel that a lot of men think with their dicks and can be manipulated by an attractive woman to do just about anything…but this isn’t just from my job, it comes from the media, advertising, movies/TV, etc. Beautiful women are used to sell endless products/services and to manipulate the masses. A man’s sex drive is his Achilles heel. It causes men to make poor choices. I do see it as a weakness, a vulnerability…but does it make me contemptuous?

When I was a little girl I had an uncle who nicknamed me “Little Nellie” after the snotty, stuck up girl on Little House On The Prairie. He teased me about thinking I was better than everyone else. I come across as confident (even if I’m not feeling that way in a moment!) and some people interpret that as superiority. Notice I didn’t say misinterpret? The fact is that I do feel better than some people sometimes…but not just men, women too. Doesn’t everyone feel that way in different situations? Does that make me a cunt? Well, yes, sometimes I can be a cunt too…which leads me to my answer to the original question…

I said that I tend to hold others, of either gender to a higher standard than is realistic. People often disappoint me because of my unrealistic expectations. Sometimes that causes me to hold them in contempt and I can be a bit of a cunt about it. I don’t hate men. I’m the Mother-fucking-Theresa of fetish porn. I give men what they crave. If I hated them for it would money alone be motivating enough to continue giving such a precious gift to those who need it? No, but you can’t blame me for capitalizing on that need!

My work hasn’t made me a man hater, nor has my personal experiences with men. I am a strong, independent women who has a low tolerance for bullshit, especially with men/relationships/sex/romance. If I’m treating you with contempt it’s because of something you’ve done to trigger that…not what’s in your underwear.

Members site:

I've got men by the balls!

Delilah & I, double face crush!

Hurt Yourself For Me!


Purge, Plan & Play.

Some of you know that I’ve been moving this last week. Moving is always stressful. It’s been an interesting process for me though.

My previous partner & I had been together for four years and lived together the last couple of years of our relationship. When we packed up our stuff and put it in storage in December of 2010 we planned to come back from Thailand and find a new place. All of our stuff, all packed together with the intention of seeing it again in just a couple of months.

One thing led to another, we kept traveling (to Europe) and then broke up in June. I wasn’t sure if I wanted to stay in Vancouver. Business opportunities were calling in the US and UK. So I took temporary, furnished apartments or stayed with friends in between frequent travel during all of 2011. My stuff stayed in storage. My ex had done his best to untangle his stuff from mine but the storage space was a disorganized mess I avoided dealing with.

I finally decided that not only was Vancouver the right place for me to live, but that I loved it so much I would travel less in 2012. I rented a permanent apartment and got my belongings out of storage.

This last week I’ve thrown out a lot of stuff. How or why we accumulate ‘stuff’ is baffling. It wouldn’t have been up to ‘hoarder’ standards but there was certainly too much stuff I’ve paid to store & move that I just paid to have taken away. What a waste. Why did the ME from a year ago think all that was worth holding onto?

I suppose living out of a couple suitcases for a year re-taught me what I learned backpacking through India in my mid-twenties: you only really NEED what you can carry on your back.

Of course, it’s not that simple at this stage of the game. I have a huge container of stuff I kept just for vids & fetish parties (lingerie, costumes, corsets, etc.) I have lots of BDSM implements & toys that I look forward to using again for private sessions. However, there is no doubt that I held onto a whole lot that I didn’t need.

I have had requests for used items. If acquiring used personal items is what floats yer boat, I have good news for you! I will be getting rid of dozens of shoes/boots that I had accumulated for shoejob/bootjob vids with my ex. Some are well-worn, some have never been worn outside. I have some other personal items, like lingerie, pantyhose, etc. that I’m ready to part with as well. I’ll make a separate blog entry with those items. (If you’re reading this and you’re confused: some people enjoy jerking off smelling/licking/humping personal items that belonged to someone they worship. Try thinking of a time where you’ve smelled a jacket or some other piece of clothing worn by a lover, how their smell brought feeling up in you…it’s something like that.)

For now, I’m still settling in. The help I’ve received from friends who really care has helped me to feel even better about my decision to stay in Vancouver. I have quite the family here now.

It’s exciting having my own place again. I prefer to live alone, the control freak that I am. I never have to be lonely. If I want company I have plenty of friends & never any shortage of lovers.

I had a great session tonight. It was with a nice client I’ve seen before in a high end hotel room. It was very pleasurable for me. I am often in awe that I get paid for what I do. Sure, some sessions are ‘work’ and I earn every cent. Tonight though, was easy & fun.

I am very excited to get back into private sessions.

On my walk home I encountered a skunk gang bang….or a skunk orgy. It was hard to tell..but there was at least 5 skunks and there was for certain fucking. I watched for a little while and observed the female skunk trying to fight off the male, turning her head around and snapping at him. Maybe it was skunk rape?

I just googled “skunks fucking’ to learn more and found this funny (& somewhat informative) article:

My experience was similar to the one described above, only thankfully they weren’t on my doorstep! Where I live, in the West End of Vancouver, right next to Stanley Park, there are loads of urban raccoons, big squirrels, skunks, Canadian Geese, etc…but I only just learned that February is mating season for skunks. Now you know too!

In other news, Slave Jay has added another journal entry about our time together in Vegas. It’s worth a read:

Check out the FemDom Resource where they recently wrote a little thingy about one of my pics:

To give you a little eye candy I’ve included a pic taken right now of me sitting on my new throne chair. It’s going to be great for filming…a pic I took this evening of skunks fucking and some images of recently released vids that I filmed in Vegas featuring Ceara Lynch:, Domina Snow:, Sarah Blake: & Slave Jay. Find those NOW on my clips store, and in a few weeks on my members site.

Members site:

Me on my throne, taken Feb. 7, 2012

Neighborhood Skunks Fucking

Mistress T & Ceara Lynch in "Shrunk Cheating Boyfriend"

From "Inescapable Scissorhold"

Sarah Blake, Mistress T & Domina Snow from "Mommie & Friends"