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I have a pretty charmed life. A unique life that I have very carefully created. It’s not always easy being me though. Today was one of those not-so-easy days.
If you’ve read my blog from the beginning you know that it took me awhile to go against what society expected me to do and to do what truly makes me happy. So many people just go through the motions in life. Like Lemmings. Sheep. Being true to yourself and finding your own path, especially when it is unusual, can be difficult.
When people find out that I’m a Dominatrix or a Fetish Porn Performer/Producer they tend to have more misconceptions than you can shake a stick at. They tend to jump to bizarre conclusions about what kind of person I must be and what kind of life I must live. I used to enjoy educating people. Now I’m so tired of being judged I avoid telling people what I do.
Today I learned that my neighbors have seen my website, followed my twitter feed and they’ve read my blog. Hi neighbors: I know you’re reading this too.
It seems they are uncomfortable with me living in their building. Why?
It’s a morality issue cloaked in an illogical concern for building safety. The assumption being that I must have a parade of sicko’s coming and going ready to cause property damage or a disturbance.
There is, in fact, no logical reason for them to be concerned. I’m an excellent tenant and neighbor. I’m quiet and considerate. I may also be a kinky, immoral, sexual deviant but any of the other neighbors could be too and just not put it on the internet. What I do does not impact my neighbors in any way. I’m not even loud when I have sex!
Do I sound a little defensive? I am. No one likes feeling judged.
I live in a very gay friendly neighborhood. At one time a gay man would have had to hide his sexuality from a landlord and neighbors because people wouldn’t want ‘one of them’ living in their building…assuming there would be a parade of sicko’s coming and going at all hours engaging in filthy, immoral gay sex acts. You would be hard-pressed to find anyone brave enough in my neighborhood these days who would discriminate against someone for their sexual orientation.
My point being that over time, people become more accepting…and maybe within my time I’ll see people become more open-minded about folks with kink’s & fetishes. People won’t assume that someone who makes porn for a living is an unsavory neighbor.
No one who comes to my home is going to cause property damage or any disturbance. My friends may be kinky or open-minded, but they’re not hooligans. Why am I explaining all this anyway? I’ve lived here for a month without incident. I have nothing to apologize for. The only incident has been my neighbors actions to make me feel uncomfortable in my new home. I have as much right to feel comfortable here as they do…and I’ve done nothing to infringe on their comfort. They have snooped and spied. They have created imaginary dangers, judged me and made me feel unwelcome. Who is the real bad guy here? If anyone has a reason to feel ashamed of their actions, it’s not me.
What will happen now? Well, I love my new place and I plan on staying for as long as I can. I have a feeling that the neighbors will come around and relax over time. I certainly hope so…because I will not leave without a fight.
~ Do you have a story about being discriminated against or judged by a landlord or neighbors for your lifestyle or kinky occupation? Feel free to send me your stories and maybe I’ll make a blog entry with other people’s experiences. Sometimes it’s a comfort to know you’re not alone…and part of the reason I live my life so openly is for the camaraderie. So, share away!
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