Granny porn?

My birthday was yesterday. I turned 36. That makes me a Taurus & a Fire Dragon, if you follow that stuff. It means that I’m stubborn, ambitious, lucky & charismatic which results in being successful at most anything I do…also passionate in every way including a ferocious temper (apparently).

I really am 36 by the way. I know, I look WAY younger, like 34 or even 33. Many women lie about their age which has made it nearly impossible for anyone to guess a woman’s age. I’m often told I look like I’m 25. Sure, I might look like a 30 year old women who lies and says she’s 25, but I do not actually look 25.

The amount of pressure woman are under most of their lives to look good, which also means looking younger, is tremendous.

For my own content I have only ever filmed with extremely high quality HD. You can watch my vids on the largest screens with crisp, vivid resolution which seems like a great idea except that you really do see every little thing. A pimple, a bruise, fine lines on my face, make up applied improperly, lipstick on my teeth,  a bit of lint stuck to my privates, etc. Sometimes I think it’s a miracle that my fans still think I’m so beautiful even though they see me as I am, not airbrushed or photo shopped.

As time marches on this reality is becoming threatening. Gravity is a bitch and none of us get out alive.

Thankfully, I got into the porn business late and quickly built a fan base who appreciated me as a MILF, cougar, a Mother or mature woman. That will buy me more time than those who marketed themselves as nubile 20 year old college girls. One can guess what my ‘best-before-date’ might be, but what will my actual expiry date be in front of the camera? Will I be able to eroticise granny porn?

If you have money you don’t have to grow old gracefully these days. You can fight it, kicking and screaming with the miracles of medicine. From botox & fillers to boob jobs and everything in between: the battle against aging is big business.

You can try to change the way people think but you just can’t change the way people are hard wired. Humans feel a drive to reproduce, whether our heads decide we want children or not, our genitals tell us to fuck. In the purely primal sense, younger women are better candidates than older women for a male to impregnate. The majority of men will always be more drawn to younger women…even if they’re just going to jerk their baby-making juice into their gym sock while looking at her on a computer screen.

Before you send me hate mail, note that I said ‘the majority’ of men are more drawn to younger women. I know there’s many men who prefer more mature women, but the percentage decreases with each passing decade (he may be attracted to a 45 year old but not a 65 year old) and women are acutely aware that their stock decreases with each passing year.

Having said all this, I still wouldn’t turn back the clock for all the tea in China. I like myself better and am happier than I’ve ever been. As cliche as it is, I really have gotten better every year. I love what I do right now and I’ll do it for as long as I have an appreciative audience. Then what? Who knows, but I have at least a few more years to figure it out and I’m as excited about the future as I am about the present.

I had a wonderful birthday party surrounded by friends who have known me for years. Friends who have watched me evolve and always accepted and celebrated me. A new friend commented that he was drawn to me because if so many sweet people could adore me that much there must be more to me, a softer side than I had shown him up to that point. I explained, as I’ve often do: “I’m like an onion, I’ve got layers.” (Shrek reference). Part of me is very cold, tough, strong and bitchy…but another part is as compassionate, giving and loving as you can imagine. My good fiends know I would do anything, absolutely anything for them. I’m dependable and generous.

Like a baby being welcomed into the world surrounded by loving parents & supportive nurses & doctors, my passage into 36 was facilitated by my self-made family of loving, supportive friends. I did not get plastered but sipped & savored the finest champagne I’ve ever had compliments of the most devoted slave I’ve ever had.  I enjoyed a birthday cake baked by a wonderful friend who made it the special way my mother always did for me…with whipped cream instead of frosting, etc. It was a perfect evening and weekend.

An Interesting Day-In-The-Life

I’m often asked what a day in the life of Mistress T is like. I do lead a pretty interesting life but not all days are noteworthy. Today was.

I spent last night at a lovers place so I awoke in his bed and started the day with slow, sleepy, sensual sex. Then he made me breakfast and we cuddled which lead to some fairly dirty sex. A couple of friends came by for a visit, then we had sex again before going to two yoga classes in a row.

That’s already a pretty good day for me but it continued.

I went for dinner with a couple of friends but was keeping an eye on my phone/email. A valuable film slave who I’ve worked with before had surfaced and offered himself this evening…plus an interesting session request had come in.

It was Saturday night and I would normally be going to a fetish party, but I decided to make it a work night instead.

I filmed an incredible scene with a huge cum shot. I had time to edit a vid in the lull between filming and the session.

At 2am I went to a session in a fancy hotel. I only take sessions that interest me these days and this one was intriguing. He basically just wanted to talk about his fetishes/fantasies to a Dominatrix. With my signature red lips, wearing my favorite black stiletto boots, skin-tight black pants and a black sheer designer top I sat on the sofa in a well-appointed hotel room while the client sat on a chair in his PJ’s sipping vodka on ice. He talked, I listened.

The session ended with him putting a show on for me. As I sat on a stool in the palatial marble bathroom watching him masturbate he all of a sudden stopped and asked if I was going to write about this in my blog.

I wasn’t sure if he was worried about discretion or thought it would be hot to be written about…so I took a guess at the answer he was looking for and said: “Yes, but with discretion.”

He seemed satisfied with that because he immediately blew his load and cheerfully ate up his cum.

It’s 4:30am and my very interesting day is finally at an end. I’ve seen three different men cum today…and about seven orgasms between all of us. Good night. xo

Mistress T

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Pic taken at I look tired or immensely satisfied? Because I'm BOTH.

Bali-Hippie Breathwork Stuff

This blog entry is dedicated to the ‘breathwork’ that I did at the hippie retreat in Ubud, Bali.

Wikipedia explanation: Breathwork refers to many forms of conscious alteration of breathing, such as connecting the inhale and exhale, or energetically charging and discharging, when used within psychotherapy or meditation. Proponents believe breathwork technique may be used to attain alternate states of consciousness, and that sustained practice of techniques may result in spiritual or psychological benefits. Breathwork may also relate to optimal healthy breathing in a healing context.”

More info:

Where I stand on new age hippie stuff is basically where I stand with ghosts and aliens. I don’t believe or disbelieve, I am somewhat skeptical but accept that there is a lot in this world that I don’t understand.

The first guided breathwork session was a group activity. I went into it with no information at all (even less info than you have now after reading the above description). There was about fifteen women and two guys, the guide and a handful of ‘angels’ to help us. We started out all dancing around together to ‘warm up’. I hated this. It felt awkward and stupid. I wanted to leave. Next we randomly chose a partner and sat down for an uncomfortable exercise where one person talked for three minutes while the other listened and then we switched. All sentences were supposed to start with “What I really want…” I had to start and I said: “What I really want is to understand what the fuck is happening here.” then “What I really want is to not have to talk right now.” The other girl looked at me compassionately as we sat in silence until it was her turn, then she talked for three minutes about how she just wanted to feel ok, etc. and she cried. It sounded like there was a lot of sniffling going on from other people too so clearly I missed the point of this exercise. I think we were supposed to be setting an intention or something. I really enjoyed listening to her without obligation to engage or respond. Without having to think of something comforting to say. I could just listen and squeeze her hand while feeling like I was in some way helping her by listening to her personal stuff.

We then all laid on the floor and started the hour-long breathing exercise which involved a ‘circular’ breath. In and out steady and slowly without any pause in between. It’s sort of like hyperventilating and the physical effects are similar: light headed, tingling hands, etc.  I suppose it’s a cousin to meditation or a distant cousin to dropping acid. Each person’s experience is unique. I heard a lot of crying around me so I guess for some it was healing or helped them work through stuff. Some people realize certain truths about themselves or have some kind of personal growth or become more personally aware. Many enthusiastically claim it is transformative or at the very least: an intense experience.

There was also some meditative style music playing with voice affirmations or something. At the point where a soothing, Goddess-like voice cooed: “Everyone wants love and joy” I had a flash realization that I do what I do (make porn) because I want to be loved by the men who jerk off to me. I realized that my fans, as a group, make up the equivalent to one partner I’m in a relationship with. I’ve often said that I’m married to my business and it would be difficult for most men to date me while I do what I do because my fans get so much of my intimate sexual energy. It IS a relationship. It’s give and take. My fans send me fan mail (the equivalent to a husband telling his wife she’s beautiful, cherished and appreciated) and they give me money & gifts which is an effective way to measure how much I’m loved and appreciated. I give my fans orgasms, joy and entertainment. I help reduce stress. I offer acceptance of their niche fetishes.

It wasn’t the most profound experience in the world but I managed to have a little cry at the end anyway. I wasn’t crying for any particular reason but a lot of people were crying and I suppose it’s like when one person starts throwing up and then everyone starts throwing up. Laughter, crying, puking, yawning…it’s all kind of contagious.

Afterward when everyone was laying in a cuddle puddle and sharing their experiences I really felt like I missed the boat. It seemed a lot more ‘transformative’ for everyone else. I wondered if I was ‘broken’, or blocked from achieving certain levels of emotions or whatever. Maybe I just didn’t have shit to work through?

When I had an opportunity to do it again a couple days later in private, with just the guide and my two friends I was excited to give it another go. I promised myself to really put my all into getting as much from the experience as possible. ‘When in Rome!”

This time I had some one-on-one time with the guide before we got started. We talked about what I was hoping to get from the experience, if there was anything I needed to work through, etc. I didn’t know what to say. Everything is pretty awesome in my life. I’m happier than I’ve ever been. She assured me that over-achieving, satisfied people got value from breathwork too.

During the exercise I was open to having a cry but instead I felt this powerful force inside of me, radiating from me and growing…coming from my lower torso area…I felt like I was standing on the edge of a cliff, that I had huge powerful wings like a phoenix, I was strong and fearless. I heard the guides voice saying that I was breathing beautifully. I felt like I was fanning the flames of a fire with the air coming in and out of my stomach. I felt like I could levitate and fly. I felt invincible. As I breathed and pumped my stomach and apparently (I was told after) my pelvis was also pumping up & down the guide said I was radiating incredible sexual energy. She seemed rather ‘wowed’ by it.

When the exercise was finished and we were normalizing our breathing I really had to pee (this also happened the first time) but this time I was so lightheaded I had to crawl to the bathroom & pull myself up onto the toilet. So much for flying, I couldn’t even stand up! As I did the first time I peed and peed for a very long time, a lot of fluid. I’ve experienced this a little with lymphatic drainage massage where your body kind of releases toxins and cleanses through a larger than usual quantity of urine. I thought that was an interesting physical response to the exercise.

I felt a little emotional after but the feeling of power still radiated. That feeling of strength and fire. I can still feel it actually, just thinking back. That power pulsing from my lower torso and a feeling like I have massive wings.

The images below are of me at the retreat that week, where we stayed, the rice paddy fields surrounding us, a fire purification ceremony I participated in (by throwing symbolic things into the fire while thinking about stuff I need to let go of and of things in life I want) and a water temple purification thing I did where I also made ‘wishes’ or set intentions as I got cleansed with holy water.


Don't jump, you don't really have wings!

Better than wings, I've got boobs!

It would be pretty bad-ass to have wings like Garuda though...

Just out of view: power-pulsating-pussy. You've been warned.


I got a kick out of wearing my gun shirt at the hippie retreat...*smile*

I'm a little bit pyro so I didn't mind the mega-hippie-dippy fire purification ceremony so much.

Before the water purification...(do I look dirty?)

During water purification...this better be some powerful holy water...

After water purification: Do I look pure now? *batting eyelashes*


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Bali – Cockfight

I’m sitting in the airport in Korea on a long journey back home from Bali. I have been thinking about my trip and how to share the highlights on this blog. I realize most of you are more interested in the life & times of Mistress T and kinky stuff so perhaps my personal travels might bore you. I decided to divide up the highlights in bite sizes.

It wasn’t my first time at this rodeo, er, I mean cockfight. When I was traveling solo in Cuba about six years ago, with some difficulty I managed to get to experience an illegal cockfight deep in the woods. It was attended by a few dozen men, only a couple of women selling food and one tourist: me. It was exhilarating and unnerving to be in the middle of nowhere with so many men at an aggressive, illegal cockfight…I don’t mean to imply there was anything sexy about it but it was an interesting experience.

A few years later in Cambodia I had another opportunity to see a cockfight and again, I was pretty much the only women there. Cockfighting is a man’s sport, make no mistake.

You can read more about cockfighting on Wikipedia:

A couple weeks ago in Bali I noticed the tell-tale baskets covering roosters & figured that cockfighting was alive & well there too. I did some asking around and eventually got the date & location of the next local event.

What do I like about cockfighting? I find it interesting to observe the culture of it and to compare it to other countries. This is not a performance for tourists, usually I am the only tourist in attendance. It’s an opportunity to see locals being themselves, authentically.

The cockfight itself? The actual FIGHT & blood? Well, on the one hand I understand the animal cruelty aspect of it but on the other hand I see it as the cocks fulfilling their destiny. They are born to fight. They are naturally aggressive to other competitors. Every fiber of their being screams to fight and eliminate the competition. It’s all they want to do. They would rather fight than eat, sleep, maybe they’d even rather fight than fuck? Can you imagine what it would feel like to be so singularly driven? To feel like your life’s purpose is to do something and then to actually do it? To do it with all your heart and soul. To fight for the love of fighting. Once in it they are fighting to survive but the initial drive is just to fucking FIGHT.

One of my favorite all time movies is “Fight Club” by the way *smile*.

So here’s some pics I took of my Bali cockfight experience.

The only pic of me at the cock fight.

A man & his beloved cock...get yer mind out of the gutter...

Two men comparing their cocks. Really? How juvenile. Stop giggling.

Cocks in action! ...You just can't be serious, can you? Tsk Tsk.

A close up of a fairly big cock. ...Ok, that's enough. Sicko.



I’m in Paradise, AKA Bali

I admit, there’s a little part of me that keeps wondering how I ended up here.

You see, last year I spent a couple months in Thailand, a little bit of time in Vietnam. During that time I stayed in a very nice Indonesian style villa for several weeks. I was with my partner of four years at the time & we had a wonderful time. We broke up in June, for those of you who missed that.

I never imagined a year later I would be staying in a REAL Indonesian villa in Bali, a much nicer one, with a couple that I’ve been intimate with on and off for almost ten years.

I’ll back track.

The end of December 2011 I was at their house and they invited me to come to a yoga retreat in Bali with them. I had vowed to travel less in 2012 but I have a great affection for these friends and I usually only see them a couple times a year now. I spontaneously said yes.

When I was in my mid 20’s I met them through an adult online personals ad. Sleeping with couples made a lot of sense to me back then. I wanted more experiences with women, but as bi as I was, I still loved cock. I wanted BOTH…and I didn’t want a relationship so if they were already in a happy relationship I could enjoy the intimacy without strings.

It worked out great. This couple was and still are very much in love with each other. They had been adding others to their sex life for fun for awhile. So they knew what they liked and they were already comfortable with the threesome dynamic. They are both so very sexy. The kind of sexiness that goes deeper than their very attractive exteriors.

Our friendship has grown over the years. We’ve had some great sexual experiences but far more memorable moments outside of sex. We met up in Rio for Carnival one year. That’s when they invited me to Burning Man and I have gone with them every year since. We have a lot of wonderful mutual friends. And now, we are in Bali together, in paradise, fucking and playing, flirting and sharing, making more memories. These are people I’ll grow old with.

So how did I get to THIS specific bit of paradise? A palatial private villa fit for royalty? Just luck really. When I posted on this blog that I was coming to Bali a very generous fan emailed offering to put me up in this beautiful place. That’s it. A fan who isn’t even here in Bali right now. A fan I’ve never even met or corresponded with before. Someone who just loves what I do & who I am, someone who wanted to ensure I was spoiled and taken care of.  It’s moments like this that I feel so fortunate to be me.

We have a few more days here and we plan to do more than what we have done, which is lay around reading, relaxing, swimming in the pool, eating, fucking, sleeping…listening to the frogs, looking at geckos…and a lot of just looking at our surroundings in awe. This villa is beyond beautiful…the landscaping, the pools, the water features and the lush jungle & mountains in the background. Tomorrow we’ll go snorkeling and we’ll explore the area more. However long we stay here we will be sad to go. There’s a saying: “Don’t cry because it’s over, smile because it happened.” Dr. Seuss I think.

I’m in paradise. Just so you know, I’m not responding to fan mail/video requests, etc. until after April 15. If your email can wait it would be better if you just waited to send it after April 15. I would appreciate that.


From the real women who is also Mistress T

Mistress T

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Monkey's & ancient temples...I must be traveling someplace exotic again!

I have a healthy fear of monkey's from a bad experience in India years was a big deal for me to be this close to one of those adorable demons.

I'm SO wet! I know *groan*.

It's a beautiful, giant villa...& I'm staying here! Yah!

Cooling off...

A villa fit for a Goddess...

Loving life!

The view from my bedroom: awesome! Well, technically when I'm looking at the view I'm not a part of it...

Did I mention this villa is super lavish & gorgeous?

I just had to slip in a naughty pic, didn't I?