My birthday was yesterday. I turned 36. That makes me a Taurus & a Fire Dragon, if you follow that stuff. It means that I’m stubborn, ambitious, lucky & charismatic which results in being successful at most anything I do…also passionate in every way including a ferocious temper (apparently).
I really am 36 by the way. I know, I look WAY younger, like 34 or even 33. Many women lie about their age which has made it nearly impossible for anyone to guess a woman’s age. I’m often told I look like I’m 25. Sure, I might look like a 30 year old women who lies and says she’s 25, but I do not actually look 25.
The amount of pressure woman are under most of their lives to look good, which also means looking younger, is tremendous.
For my own content I have only ever filmed with extremely high quality HD. You can watch my vids on the largest screens with crisp, vivid resolution which seems like a great idea except that you really do see every little thing. A pimple, a bruise, fine lines on my face, make up applied improperly, lipstick on my teeth, a bit of lint stuck to my privates, etc. Sometimes I think it’s a miracle that my fans still think I’m so beautiful even though they see me as I am, not airbrushed or photo shopped.
As time marches on this reality is becoming threatening. Gravity is a bitch and none of us get out alive.
Thankfully, I got into the porn business late and quickly built a fan base who appreciated me as a MILF, cougar, a Mother or mature woman. That will buy me more time than those who marketed themselves as nubile 20 year old college girls. One can guess what my ‘best-before-date’ might be, but what will my actual expiry date be in front of the camera? Will I be able to eroticise granny porn?
If you have money you don’t have to grow old gracefully these days. You can fight it, kicking and screaming with the miracles of medicine. From botox & fillers to boob jobs and everything in between: the battle against aging is big business.
You can try to change the way people think but you just can’t change the way people are hard wired. Humans feel a drive to reproduce, whether our heads decide we want children or not, our genitals tell us to fuck. In the purely primal sense, younger women are better candidates than older women for a male to impregnate. The majority of men will always be more drawn to younger women…even if they’re just going to jerk their baby-making juice into their gym sock while looking at her on a computer screen.
Before you send me hate mail, note that I said ‘the majority’ of men are more drawn to younger women. I know there’s many men who prefer more mature women, but the percentage decreases with each passing decade (he may be attracted to a 45 year old but not a 65 year old) and women are acutely aware that their stock decreases with each passing year.
Having said all this, I still wouldn’t turn back the clock for all the tea in China. I like myself better and am happier than I’ve ever been. As cliche as it is, I really have gotten better every year. I love what I do right now and I’ll do it for as long as I have an appreciative audience. Then what? Who knows, but I have at least a few more years to figure it out and I’m as excited about the future as I am about the present.
I had a wonderful birthday party surrounded by friends who have known me for years. Friends who have watched me evolve and always accepted and celebrated me. A new friend commented that he was drawn to me because if so many sweet people could adore me that much there must be more to me, a softer side than I had shown him up to that point. I explained, as I’ve often do: “I’m like an onion, I’ve got layers.” (Shrek reference). Part of me is very cold, tough, strong and bitchy…but another part is as compassionate, giving and loving as you can imagine. My good fiends know I would do anything, absolutely anything for them. I’m dependable and generous.
Like a baby being welcomed into the world surrounded by loving parents & supportive nurses & doctors, my passage into 36 was facilitated by my self-made family of loving, supportive friends. I did not get plastered but sipped & savored the finest champagne I’ve ever had compliments of the most devoted slave I’ve ever had. I enjoyed a birthday cake baked by a wonderful friend who made it the special way my mother always did for me…with whipped cream instead of frosting, etc. It was a perfect evening and weekend.