Mistress T nude.

Why this image for this blog post? No reason…I’m nude, exposed…it’s pretty. Whatever.

Judgement has been the topic of several of my blog posts & as much as I wish it would go away so I wouldn’t need to talk about it anymore, alas, that’s not reality.

I also like to talk about it because I know so many of my readers struggle with this too. Many have never told anyone about their fetishes or have had negative reactions after someone has found out.

Imagine making your fetishes your job & having your face all over the internet broadcasting how kinky you are. That’s the difficult path I’ve chosen. I love my work but there are trade-offs for living my life so out in the open.

The last few months I’ve been dabbling in online dating. I would love to have a significant other in my life. Lovers come & go. Some turn into wonderful friends. I’ve been blessed. Yet I still feel like my life would be enhanced by a very significant other. Of course my job & lifestyle are an obstacle but I know a lot of women in my industry who have found wonderful partners.

Most of my 1st dates have been fine. There just hasn’t been chemistry. Most guys I tell about my alter-ego say they don’t have a problem with it but I’m very aware that a lot of guys are just lonely & will say anything for some company. I tell them all right away what I do so that if it’s an issue we can just get that out of the way.

In the last week I went on a couple dates with two different guys who really seemed to have potential. Yet, the sting of judgement got me in two different & unique ways.

1. After a couple dates with the 1st potential Mr. Right he accidentally let it slip how disgusted he was with a particular sexual activity that just happened to be near the top of my list of favorite activities. (Don’t bother asking me what that is specifically. My sexuality is complex & part of it requires me to not tell the entire world EVERYTHING.) If he had just not been into it I could have let it go, but it was the judgement, the disgust of it that got me. As I tried to make my exit he back-peddled trying to say that maybe he could try it but the damage was done. Most of us fetishists would rather indulge our fetishes with someone who is also into it, not doing it ‘just’ for us.

2. Contestant #2 feared his teen daughter would get teased at school if her class mates found out her dad was dating a porn star. As I made my exit he seemed concerned that he had hurt my feelings. I laughed at that. My answer would have been too complex. I thought of his daughter finding out years later that her dad passed up a potentially wonderful relationship with a women for such a silly reason. She probably worries about how lonely her dad is & would be happy just to see him happy. I have some personal experience as the teen in this case but that’s a longer story. I didn’t bother saying any of that because the damage was already done. Deep down I felt there was judgement & narrow-mindedness on his part that he wasn’t being honest with himself about.

These were just two guys that I went on a couple of dates with. There was no emotional attachment, only the potential for one. In the long run I probably won’t even remember them. It’s the judgment that leaves a mark.

So if you’re reading this & thinking about your own personal experience being judged for being different, for having a fetish or kink, for wanting something out of the norm, know that you’re not alone. The world is FULL of deviants, perverts, fetishists, sinners, lovers of the alternative. I have many wonderful friends who don’t just accept me but celebrate all that I am.

If you’re reading this & you’re guilty of having judged someone, for shaming someone, for making someone feel broken for being aroused by something other than what arouses you: Do not judge others for sinning differently than you. Or: Judge not lest ye be judged. All of us ‘could’ easily be judged by someone for something. Sexual diversity should be celebrated.

Vive la différence!

Mistress T

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Before I begin, I’ll point out that I’ve added a ‘subscribe’ box at the bottom of this page. You can subscribe and get an email notification when I add a new entry. I’m new to blogging so if anyone has tips or advice please send them to: MsT@MistressT.net


In my last entry I mentioned that I had saved up enough for the down payment for a condo but qualifying for a mortgage was another story. I needed to get a job that looked good to the bank. It was back to office work for me. I’ll tell you in advance that this was the last office job I had and it lasted just over 1 year even though I only needed to work there for a few months to qualify for a mortgage and buy my condo. I hated it, so why did I stay? I can’t answer that, fear I suppose. Since meeting that beach boy on the nude beach years before I had struggled to follow a path not taken. I was afraid of course, of not having a regular pay check and all the security that comes from working for other people. Let me tell you, do not take entrepreneurs for granite. It takes a certain bravery to do your own thing.

About a year into that job a new manager offered me a generous promotion. The new position would mean more time spent doing the job tasks I hated the most. It was a big step up but it hit me all at once how miserable I was. I turned it down and two weeks later I was fired. They said that although they’d love to have me stay they could tell I wasn’t happy and they were doing me a favor by giving me the push I needed to find what would make me happy.

I still resent that that’s how my office career ended. I wish I could say that it was me who was so self aware and brave that I made that decision. Instead, I was cowardly enough to stay at a job I hated until someone else shoved me out of the nest toward my destiny.

I bought another wig and called an agent. My first gig was on a slow Sunday night and I thought I would just be doing private dances. There had been a miscommunication and I was actually expected to do three stage shows that night. I had never danced on stage before. I didn’t have costumes, music or moves. The DJ helped me with the music and if you’d like a soundtrack to read this post to, this is the first song I danced on stage to: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=htNMqbDXAPg  Global Deejay’s The Sound of San Francisco. I stripped on stage in front of four sleepy patrons with my heart pounding in my chest. I loved it.

I starting working more full time at the friendliest and safest club in town. I liked it there and did private dances plus stage shows for a few months. I was dating a nice guy who is still one of my best friends. I was happy.

It was around that time that I formally met Samantha Mack. We had met informally months earlier, by that I mean we smooched at a fetish party but didn’t trade contact info. When she showed up to work at the club one night I thought I recognized her but it took a few days for me to speak up. We became fast friends and then lovers. Samantha eventually becomes a more prominent character in my story.

I’ll take a pause here to shamelessly promote Samantha as she is still a close friend and involved in lots of interesting things, including raising money for breast cancer research, being an advocate for the gay community, etc. etc. Check out her website: http://www.thesamanthamack.com

I got the travel bug again and went to Brazil and Argentina for two months. When I returned something had changed with my boyfriend and our relationship had become more of a friendship. I found myself looking for excitement. I went on Craigslist under ‘Casual Encounters’ (I had never done this before and am not even sure how I got the idea) and I found an ad that intrigued me. A man was looking for a nude house cleaner. Light housework, more for the voyeur aspect, no touching, paid. I know it sounds crazy, risky and even stupid, but it was thrilling. Remember, I am an exhibitionist first, almost everything else follows that. I went and it was just as he said. I cleaned the windows of his highrise apartment where anyone in other buildings could see me. He sat, clothed, reading a magazine and casually glancing at me. I then vacuumed in the nude and worked up a bit of a sweat. I loved it. He paid me then and said I was free to go. I asked if I could shower first, he asked if he could watch. That was fun, I put on a bit of a show for him in the shower, he paid me more. He then asked if it would be okay if he took a very close up photo of my vagina, only my vagina, not my face. I said yes. He paid me more. Then he asked if it would be okay for him to sit on a chair beside the bed and masturbate while I played with myself. He offered more money and frankly, the combination of the exhibitionism AND getting paid was so erotic that I climaxed quickly and with shocking intensity.

I went straight home and placed an ad for nude housecleaning with masturbation show. This was one of the most important events in my history. I started doing no-contact ‘voyeur shows’…I never cleaned another house although I pretended to clean a spotless yacht once. There was a huge market for this! Men who were looking for a bit of dirty fun, a bit of excitement but for one reason or another, they didn’t want sexual contact. Some had never been with an escort and would be too nervous to perform. Others didn’t want to feel like they were cheating on their partners and this felt okay to them. Some had erectile dysfunction. Some were so paranoid about sexually transmitted infections that no-contact worked better for them…and other reasons. I was skilled with the dirty talk. I have a filthy imagination and with just a few questions I could figure out how to push any man’s buttons verbally. They sat on a chair beside the bed and got themselves off watching and listening to me. I loved the power of it. I was in complete control.

Word got out on the internet and a gentleman who wanted to write a review asked what my stage name was. I didn’t really have one so he chose ‘Miss T’ and unfortunately it stuck and I became famous before I could figure out something better. I took as many bookings as I could handle and still turned away business every day. I had loads of positive experiences and met the most wonderful men. Was it safe? Well, nothing bad ever happened while I was doing ‘voyeur shows’. It seemed to attract a gentle, respectful type of man. I became friends with quite a few. They would take me for nice dinners, bring me thoughtful gifts, etc. It was less complicated back then and part of me wishes I could go back to that time but alas, even as content as I was, when the thrill started to wear off I started to look for the next rush…

Mistress T nude with boots

Probably taken after an orgasm...I look pretty happy!