Conformist Pro Domme

Just before I continue the story I want to ensure my readers know how to find me elsewhere:

My members site:

My clips store:


In my last entry I hinted that although I was happy doing ‘voyeur shows’ I was starting to look for my next big thrill. Some of the clients who called to see me respectfully asked if I would consider doing ‘other things’ during my time with them…and I don’t mean sex. Of course I was pestered non stop for sex, but these respectful gents would ask if it was okay to kiss my feet? Would it be okay if they wore ladies clothing while they jerked off in my presence? Would I consider giving them a spanking?

I had been playing kinky games in my personal life, going to fetish parties and reading alternative erotica for years…these ‘unusual’ requests did not bother me. They were exciting. I started expanding my services and early on in the game one of these gents wrote a positive review of my Domme services. All of a sudden I was the hot new Pro Domme in town. I cringe now at how easy it was to become that, with as little experience as I had. I needed to get up to speed quickly. I didn’t say that I could do anything I couldn’t do but bit by bit my list of abilities expanded. Some clients helped me learn the ropes, I took some lessons from professionals and I read a great deal. Clients bought me implements, equipment and attire.

The first time I used my strap-on was with a client. My strap-on was special. I had had it custom made in San Fransisco at Mr. S Leather in my mid 20’s. I never had a boyfriend who would take it but I finally put it to work.

I told a 50 year old gay male friend about the recent changes in my life. He pointed out that I would need to learn to fist. The first man I ever fisted was this man with his boyfriend coaching me along. I double fisted him up to my elbows!

That gay friend also put me in touch with a couple who where doing fetish video’s. They meant well and taught me a great deal. I’m sure the very first fetish video’s I did are floating around out there…I had braces at the time. The vids were nothing to brag about. Perhaps I wasn’t ready, maybe they weren’t the right mentors, maybe the timing was just off? In any case, my first attempt at fetish video’s was a complete flop (I’ve come a long way baby!). I gave up on vids and focused on private sessions. I was well-reviewed and as busy as I could handle.

In the early days I conformed to what I was told a Pro Domme was, except for the ‘no nudity’ rule. I’ve always been more comfortable in the nude…but I did not give handjobs, I did not allow oral worship or give it and absolutely no intercourse.  I would allow guys to jerk themselves off. I did a lot of ass play, golden showers, bondage, CBT, flogging, caning, spanking, sensory deprivation…I allowed shoe & foot worship, I dressed men as women, I humiliated them, I role-played their bosses, nurses etc. I had puppy boys, cuckolds and houseboys. There was a lot of variety.

I point out that I conformed because now my opinion has changed a lot. I strongly feel that a real Dominant does what she wants and doesn’t follow other people’s rules. I pass that along to all new Dommes. You don’t have to advertise it, and you probably shouldn’t unless you want to get into uncomfortable situations, but if you feel a connection with a client and you WANT to do something with him, as long as he consents then it’s really no ones business. I realize this is controversial and puts the many Pro Dommes who strictly do not offer those activities in a difficult position, as clients can say “she did, why won’t you?”…but that’s not my problem. I can’t police everyone’s actions or reactions.

That is my position now, years later but back then as I said: I was a conformist Pro Domme and I played by the book.

Mistress T fetish goddess FemDom

I beat & humiliate men for a living.

More fun in San Francisco…

I kept in touch with the male Dom who I met at The Power Exchange…he who flogged me first. He invited me to come back and I can resist anything except temptation.

On one trip I brought my boyfriend at the time. This turned out to be a poor choice but a worthwhile learning experience, but I’ll get to that. First I’ll tell you about meeting the famous “Midori” ( ) Among other things, she’s known for being the author of “The Seductive Art of Japanese Bondage”. She was doing a rope bondage stage performance at a big fetish bash and I had the opportunity to help out behind the scenes body painting some of her victims/models. I got to meet her and received a signed copy of her recent CD of erotic stories. She was lovely and it was a thrill meeting someone so well known in the fetish community.

During this event I also had an opportunity to ‘bottom’ under some very talented Doms. I loved being strung up in front of a crowd. I was spanked, flogged and experimented on (electro-play, etc.). To be honest, I didn’t care for the acts (other than flogging) as much as I loved being watched.

I had been having my fun, checking in with my boyfriend from time-to-time. It was a big party, he was wandering off and coming back and I thought he was having a good time. I was deep in ‘sub space’ being flogged in front of a large crowd when I caught his eye and noticed something was off. I went up to him and asked. Things were NOT okay. He had just had enough of watching me ‘getting beaten’. He looked disgusted. People were watching us talk, they could read the situation. I was humiliated and ashamed. I felt like a freak for enjoying myself. I felt selfish for not realizing he wasn’t having fun. I was emotionally vulnerable after hours of ‘play and excitement’. It was like being dropped from a 10 story building. I just broke down.

That was about 10 years ago and I was not then who I am today. Now, at 35 I would likely not get myself into such a situation and if I did, I would react differently. Then, however, it was crushing. I cried in the cab all the way back to the hotel and cried all night. He did not try to comfort me. I felt like a disgusting human being for being into kinky stuff.

Obviously, we didn’t stay together, but that doesn’t even matter. The important lesson I learned was about emotion and the vulnerability of  ‘sub space’. It helped me later on to be a good Domme.

My journey in learning to accept my kinky side has not been a straight path. I had my set backs and uphill battles. Maybe you, my reader, have similar stories? I invite you to comment here if you like. I know I’m not alone in my love of kink anymore…you are not alone either *smile*.

MistressT Fetish Goddess