This was written by one of my film slaves:
I’m in my mid-thirties, a mild mannered, clean cut, IT middle manager, happily married (though clearly not fully sexually sated), and really just a mostly grown up geek. Physically I’m average at best, including my cock. If you saw me on the street, stunt cock for femdom handjob porn videos would be the furthest from your assumptions and or imagination.
This tawdry tale starts about three years ago when porn music videos (PMV) were my primary extramarital libido quelling tool. For the uninitiated; PMVs are basically montages of different porn, cut and edited to music, usually following a theme. There is even a sub-genre referred to as cockhero where the video prescribes the way and tempo to which you should wank, with the challenge being to make it to the end and the designated reward montage. Well, one of these videos finished with a montage of femdom material that included amongst others, some MistressT footage that was both novel and arousing.
Sleuthing out more of MistressT’s work wasn’t hard thanks to her watermark that was graciously left intact. After some preview piracy, I ended up purchasing two videos from her clips4sale site which were already favourites in my rotation. Some months later, and about a year and a half ago now, I went back for more and I stumbled onto her blog where one of the recent posts referenced a prior post on film slave applications, not only that, but I learned that MistressT was local to me and Vancouver based! I figured it was clearly a sign.
I had no delusions that my chances weren’t astronomically slim despite my proximity. I figured that in the least the application process itself would be fantasy fodder with the bonus of an outside chance for an opportunity of a lifetime. I was meticulous in adhering to the application guidelines, treating it as though it was a job application and including a $50 tribute for piracy penance. I spent a week brewing over the email, finally sent it, and MistressT replied in under an hour with “Well, they say you miss 100% of the shots you don’t take. Sure, I’d give you a go.” and we setup a date and time.
For days leading up to the session I waffled between incredulity and nervous anticipation with building arousal throughout. The session was scheduled for 4pm and having denied myself release for a couple days prior, all throughout the workday I was exceedingly horny and hopelessly distracted. My first impressions of MistressT were that she was; nice, professional, in charge, smoking hot, exuding sexuality and short. Some brief nervous banter ensued prior to getting down to the task at hand.
I left the first session feeling underwhelmed; I mean I had nothing to complain about, it was great in that I got jerked off by a hot, eager and almost naked lady and she filmed it to boot. In part, I had worked up impossible anticipation and expectations and in part, it was a little weird and awkward that we were strangers. It also was both weird and a fulfilled fantasy that I was being objectified and used only for my cock and that the situation lacked any sense of intimacy. Shortly after the session I sent MistressT an email thanking her for the opportunity, sharing some of my feelings about the session and offering myself for future sessions if she was interested, thinking that I would not hear from her again. I was wrong.
I’ve since had the pleasure of filming with MistressT several dozen times; including in a rented dungeon, with VR cameras (and on looking technicians) and some scenes that incorporated ideas and fantasies of my own. So far, my two favourite scenes are “orgasm control tough love” and “1 finger cum shot”. Even more rewarding than the getting off part (which is great) is being wanted for the part, for the confidence it has given me and for just having been in porn, I mean what guy hasn’t fantasized about that? The weirdness and awkwardness that was there initially has dissolved as we have slowly gotten to know each other and built a rapport. In this process, I discovered that MistressT, and more so the multi faceted woman behind her is really a great and interesting person and someone that I wanted to call a friend.
This classic worlds in collision scenario caused and continues to cause me angst. First, I wasn’t positive that the feelings were mutual, and I didn’t want to be misconstrued as creeper and make things awkward. Regardless, it seemed moot as the legitimate options for social overlap have significant hurdles on my end, namely my wife and societies petty sexual hang ups. It pains me that I have not, and cannot share this with my wife and best friend, especially since I think her and the person behind MistressT would get along swimmingly. In fact, I have not shared that I am a film slave with a single sole, in part this is eating me up and I’m dying to tell someone, in part having a dirty little secret is fun. I mentioned this dilemma to a friend of mine recently, she told me that I should write about it and she would post it on her blog…
Only a fool knows what the future holds, I hope though that mine contains a good many more filming sessions, pushed boundaries, explored fantasies and engaging banter with MistressT. Even more so, I sincerely hope that our friendship continues to develop and that I might also have the courage to further collide our worlds. Whatever my future holds, it’s been an absolute privilege to have known and to have been known by MistressT, a refreshing counterpoint to the vast swaths of mostly vapid humanity.