Aging In The Adult Industry

Mature Domme tip #107: You may not have the energy you had in your younger years. Keep a slave handy to use as a chair for when you need a little rest.

Mature Domme tip #107: You may not have the energy you had in your younger years. Keep a slave handy to use as a chair for when you need a little rest.

My birthday is tomorrow, Apr 29. I’ll be 41. So what’s it like aging in the adult industry?

Unlike the typical porn starlet, I was late to the biz. I started as a private dancer in a strip club when I was 28. The other gals where years younger except one & she didn’t really ‘dance’ for anyone. She had a few regulars who would pay her to sit & drink with them.

I dipped in & out of the adult industry for a few years & was about 32 by the time my fetish video business was full steam ahead. I started referring to myself as a MILF in the early days & added ‘mature’ soon after. The oldest among my peer group they sometimes refer to me as ‘Nana’ (& sometimes Mistress Goofball, but this isn’t a post about how hilarious I am.)

In a lot of survey’s, “MILF” is a very popular search term, often ranking higher than ‘teen’. Here’s some stats: https://www.pornhub.com/insights/2016-year-in-review

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So in a world that in every other way tells you that as a women your value nose dives after 40 (or even after 35), I work in an industry where not only am I highly valued, there’s a lot less competition. I’ve even hammed up the older bit by wearing a grey wig & you’ll often see me in glasses, pearl necklaces, satin blouses or suites. For business, I’m not trying to pretend I’m younger, if anything, the opposite.

Silver fox:-)

Silver fox:-)

How many adult film performers are still in the biz after 40? A helleva lot less than those in their 20’s.

I have received some very generous offers from various big porn production companies who are desperate for MILF’s. I’m not really interested in working with other companies these days but since I find Virtual Reality fascinating you might see a VR fuck scene with me on HologirlsVR this year. My understanding is a key VR sex position requires me to straddle & ride a cock for several minutes & frankly, I’m not sure my knees will take it. ha ha

Yeah, I might need a helper to lift me up & down in this position. Sheesh.

Yeah, I might need a helper to lift me up & down in this position. Sheesh. (Find these scenes on https://www.hologirlsvr.com)

Anyway, back to how I feel about things. I’ll be honest, in the real world I don’t have the same ‘pull’ that I used to. Men don’t quite look at me the same, or look at me at all. Online though, things heat up more each year. Business is booming, sales numbers don’t lie, plus I get loads of messages from men of all ages desiring an older woman.

As if by cruel design though, with each passing year I become more settled, with less inclination to travel, with less energy to work, with less drive to work as hard as I did in the beginning. Finally achieving work-life balance I am no longer married to my work, I have a full & rich life outside of the biz. With an eye to the future I wonder when it will make sense to start to wind down the business. A recent meeting with my financial advisor, he posed the usual questions which were mathematical to him but personal to me: “How much longer do you think you’ll make this income? When will you need to start drawing on your investments? Etc.”

I really don’t know? My heart is still in it but when is the tipping point when I’m no longer a ‘hot MILF’ but I’ve gone ‘past my expiry date’? Of course I want to end on a high note & not drag things out to the point of embarrassment. I know I’m not near that yet but geez, ya know what I mean?

In writing this I did some research on Bettie Page. I thought that she had at one point decided to retire, maybe in her mid 30’s & had never let another photograph be taken of her. That she wanted to be remembered by her fans how she was. Unfortunately my research resulted in a less romantic explanation. She may have actually found religion. So I can’t draw any parallels here about Bettie Page feeling her age, etc. I’ll move on without Ms. Page.

Personally, I love getting older mentally. I wouldn’t want to go back to knowing less, having experienced less. Physically, I don’t think anyone is happy about aging. No one says: “Thank god my skin is starting to wrinkle! I’ve been waiting for this for too long!” The cosmetic industry is booming thanks to people fighting growing old tooth & nail. I’m not convinced there’s such a thing as growing old gracefully & there’s so few women in the public eye doing it naturally that most of us wouldn’t even know what it looks like anymore. I won’t stay on that topic as I know men would prefer to stay blissfully unaware of what women do to look good, while men often consider combing their hair as stepping up their game & trimming their nose hairs as ‘extreme grooming’. Ha ha

The book I’ve been writing is about my life. It’s been amazing working with my editor, going back through & discussing details of various chapters of my story. Seeing how events & experiences shaped who I am. Some pleasant, some not, but it all contributed. I hoped to have the book done in my 40th year & although that didn’t happen, the majority of the work on it happened in my 40th year & it will be done long before my 42nd.

Turning back toward aging in this industry…it’s amazing actually. In the real world as I start to become invisible…as I’m overlooked by more men, I am becoming more desirable to certain fans. Sure, being fetishized for being ‘older’ is somewhat objectifying, like being fetishized for being an Asian woman, a black man, a BBW, etc. but most people tend to be drawn to certain physical traits, I don’t really see anything wrong with that. We like what we like, & for men seeking a mature woman, their options are more limited in porn…& here I am. Experienced, still good lookin’ & not planning to make my exit anytime soon.

Oh…& in case you felt inclined to send me a treat for my birthday, here’s my updated wish lists:

Canadian Amazon.ca wish list: Click here

US Amazon.com wish list: Click here

xo

Mistress T

Members Site: www.MistressT.net

C4S: http://www.clips4sale.com/23869

IWantClips: https://iwantclips.com/store/57715/Mistress-T

Twitter: https://twitter.com/MistressTdotnet

 

Sex Workers: Now Available In Human Form!

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I just read this great article “What It’s Like To Be A Mom & A Sex Worker”:

https://www.romper.com/p/what-its-like-to-be-a-mom-a-sex-worker-48312

I wanted to share it as a nod to the women I know in the industry who are mom’s & I really wanted men to read it as yet another way to humanize sex workers.

I write often in my blog about the objectification of women & how important it is to educate & remind people that sex workers are multi-dimensional beings with lives outside of sex work, with hopes & fears, dreams & disappointments, quirks, families, friends, hobbies, feelings, etc. Yup, even that ‘cum-dumpster’ you just jerked off to who took a load of cum on her face while getting fucked in the ass…has a whole life outside of your fantasy. Maybe she volunteers at a soup kitchen or animal shelter, maybe she has kids or an aging parent she takes care of, maybe she teaches yoga, maybe she plays the same video games you do, maybe she bakes the best cookies or fixes up old cars. Sure, maybe she’s dealing with childhood trauma & struggles with addiction or has suicidal thoughts….but ya know what? So do a lot of lawyers, accountants, teachers, mechanics, real estate agents… My point is that sex workers are just people, a slice of the population, like you & the folks around you.

The last paragraph of the article gave me hope & maybe my blog post will contribute to the future this woman sees coming:

“I support anyone’s choice to choose the life that suits them best. It’s hard yet rewarding work to provide nurturing love and companionship to people, whether it’s to my growing daughter or to my grateful clients, and I’m happy to do so. Thankfully, the stigma that sucks joy from my work is slowly dissipating, as people become more progressive and enlightened about their world. And if, in the future, my daughter wants to become a stripper, porn performer, cam-girl, dominatrix, or whatever, I hope she performs just like her mama — with poise, confidence, and a smile.”

Stigma. That word. I’m really sick of it to be honest. Thankfully I mostly don’t care what people think about me in that regard, but on the list of downsides of this occupation “stigma” is the top of the list. The more the world hears & sees sex workers when they’re not doing sex work the more informed people become & the more we can reduce stigma. It’s not easy tho & most don’t want to expose themselves. Most of the women I know in the industry who have kids are careful to hide the fact they have kids from their clients & they are even more careful to keep those who know they have kids from finding out about their profession. The 2 things don’t mix well…but I’ll pull the curtain back & tell you that there’s a hell of a lot of women in the industry who have kids & there’s a hell of a lot of mom’s that are doing sex work. Sex workers who are parents could be excellent secret agents, living double lives, telling lies & keeping secrets. I hope some day it all doesn’t have to be like that.

SIDE NOTE: Unrelated to this article I highly recommend the Netflix series (or book it was based on) “13 Reasons Why”: https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/13_Reasons_Why 

It explores some really tough topics that young adults struggle with: bullying, suicide, consent/rape, objectification & how to support young people who are struggling with some of these issues. So although this is particularly pertinent for young adults or the parents of young adults I think anyone would get a lot out of this. Especially the parts about objectifying women in small ways that add up to a bigger problem. It’s easy to think that one comment or incident is no big deal but seeing over the series how little things accumulated…I won’t ruin it for you, but I hope this series becomes required watching & is discussed in classrooms. People need to understand the consequences of their actions, men in particular in this regard (sexual objectification of women) & women need to learn how to better advocate for themselves.

Be kind to yourselves & to each other.

xo

Mistress T

Members Site: www.MistressT.net

C4S: http://www.clips4sale.com/23869

IWantClips: https://iwantclips.com/store/57715/Mistress-T

Twitter: https://twitter.com/MistressTdotnet

Canadian Amazon.ca wish list: Click here

US Amazon.com wish list: Click here