Music Appreciation Moment

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This is a more personal piece. Not sexy…but this blog is meant for you to get to know me more intimately, so this qualifies.

I had an amazing day. I visited a very dear friend who is fighting for his life. He’s been fighting cancer for years, winning, but it keeps returning. He’s still fighting & is one of the most inspiring people I know.

We laughed. We cried. We enjoyed delicious tea, cookies & cake. We listened to music on his high quality sound system. Big band, the Tragically Hip, 80’s rock ballads. Then I suggested Pink Floyd & he suggested we indulge in some of his morphine for that experience.

(Disclaimer: I am not a regular taker of drugs of any kind. I experimented in my 20’s with party drugs & hippie stuff but in my 30’s I just haven’t been that interested.)

So I sat with my dear friend, holding hands listening to Pink Floyd really loud while floating on a morphine cloud.

He’s been listening to a lot of music lately. He’s also been watching a lot of comedy & spending time with the people he loves. Music, laughter & love being his priorities these days.

I don’t ask a lot of my fans or slaves. I could really be so much more demanding…so I’ll ask each of you to do something for me today (& any time really) but especially today: Play one of your favorite songs as loud as you can & do nothing besides listen to it all the way through. Really listen to it & enjoy it. Savor it. Heck, dancing to it would be fine too. Let’s call it a ‘music appreciation moment’.

Will you do that for me? Will you do that for you? It’s not going to change the world but it’s not going to hurt anything either (unless it pisses off the neighbors for 5 minutes. Oh well.)

Big love,

Mistress T (or in this case, the woman who is also Mistress T)

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Free spirit

Shortly after San Fran & things ending with the judgmental boyfriend another life-changing event happened.

At that time I was proud of myself for landing a prestigious outside sales job. I had purposefully only taken inside sales jobs for years, doing my thing on the phone so that no one could say that I got by on my looks. Having had a lot of success just using my brain & my voice I decided it was time to use the rest of my assets. I leased a brand new car. I wore business suits. I took pics of myself in my business suit next to my brand new car and sent them to my Mother. I wanted her to be proud of me.

Friends took me to Wreck beach one day. It was a clothing optional beach and I had no problem gearing right down. It felt amazing to be nude outside, with the ocean breeze caressing my skin. A cute, blond surfer boy came along selling drinks. There was just something about him. His tanned skin, his disheveled sun bleached hair, his sparkling blue eyes and relaxed manner. I had to get to know him better.

I came back to the beach and pursued him. We had a hot fling and as I got to know him I was fascinated with his free spirit way of living. Early 30’s, hanging out at the beach making a simple living, partying a lot, traveling to exotic places in the winter for months at a time…he was the happiest person I ever met and it came through in the way he fucked. So present in the moment. So passionate.

He encouraged me to come down to the beach after work and sell tequila shooters at sunset for fun and extra cash. It seemed to be a crazy idea, selling tequila shooters nude, on a nude beach? Crazy was just what I needed. That summer there was a song that kept playing on the radio with a line that haunted me, “I think my life is passing me by…” Here’s a link to the vid/song: http://www.musictory.com/music/Sam+Roberts/Brother+Down

Summer was coming to an end and all I would have was a job that I actually hated. A job I was doing because I thought it would make my Mother proud. Even though, bless her, she always just said she wanted me to be happy. She also said that I was too entrepreneurial to ever be satisfied working for someone else.

I decided that I would go to India. I didn’t have much money saved but I would have just charged it on my credit card. A girlfriend invited me to go to Japan with her to make quick cash hostessing with her for a few months. She had done it before. It was long hours but easy, just pouring drinks, singing karaoke and making conversation. No sex, no stripping, no funny business. That was all true except it wasn’t easy. At least not for me. I felt like a slave. Management was very strict. It was a hard 3 months but it was an adventure and then I went to Thailand for a month and India for 2 months. Alone!

I could expand on what happened in those 6 months of travel. I have a lot of stories. But this isn’t a travel blog and I have a feeling that my readers are more interested in hearing how all this contributed to me becoming ‘Mistress T’. It started with meeting that beach boy who taught me that there are other ways to make a living and better ways to live your life other than just climbing the corporate ladder and conforming to other people’s rules. He taught me that it’s important to be true to yourself and to not care what people thought. Making a major life shift doesn’t happen over night. I rebounded back into the corporate world a couple more times before I left it for good. That beach boy has always been in my life, still is, to remind me to be true to myself.

The summer I returned from India was the best summer of my life. I sold tequila shooters every day at the beach. I partied a lot. I had 3 wonderful lovers on rotation. I slept with who I wanted when I wanted and there was no drama. I started attending fetish parties in Vancouver. I began to move in the direction of incorporating my sexual kinky side with my entrepreneurial side. I started to get braver, more confident, more self aware. A fire had been lite and it started to burn hotter, pushing me in the direction of becoming ‘Mistress T’.

MistressT beach bum

Mistress T: Beach Bum

Why I really moved to Vancouver…

When asked why I moved to Vancouver I often say ‘weather & economy’ but the real reason is that I fell in love with a married man. Here’s the story:

 

I was 20. He was 10 years older and the owner of the company I worked for. He was married with a 2 year old. After a drunken office party fling that should have ended there we became more involved. We had a month together right away as his wife and child were out of town. We fell in love. He filed for divorce and moved out. Then flip flopped for 10 months until he finally decided (and rightly so) that his child was more important…you see his wife took the child far away and wouldn’t come back unless they reconciled.

I moved away to give him space to do the right thing. I wasn’t about to be his long term mistress and that’s exactly what would have happened if I stayed. The attraction was so great we simply could not stay away from each other.

It was the hardest thing that I had ever gone through…and 15 years later I can tell you it’s still the hardest thing I’ve gone through. Heart break. Losing the person I felt such a special connection to. Anyone who has had their heart broken understands how intense this type of pain can be. There’s certainly been enough songs and poems written about heart break. We all recognize that this pain can be even worse than having a loved one pass away.

So, with a freshly broken heart I packed up what little I had and with $1000 in the bank I moved to Vancouver just before my 21st birthday. I stayed with distant family that I didn’t really know for the 1st two months while I got settled.

Every cloud has a silver lining though. Moving to Vancouver was one of the smartest things I’ve ever done. Also, the married guy convinced me of something important: that I could do ANYTHING I chose to do. He saw potential in me and lit a fire that has never gone out. There are few things as powerful in this life as making yourself completely vulnerable to someone, exposing yourself, giving yourself over to someone and THEN to have that person tell you that you are more wonderful than you ever imagined.

Without that I’m not sure that I would have done all that I have with my life. It drove me to reach higher, to try harder and to believe in myself. Other than luck, reaching higher, trying harder and believing in yourself is pretty much all that separates the successful from the unsuccessful, in my humble opinion.

MistressT FemDom Fetish Goddess Rooftop Vancouver Canada

On top of the world in Vancouver