More kitten blood, less time-wasting emails, please.

Other possible titles for this blog post:

1. What the fuck do you want from me?

2. I can’t take drawings to the bank.

Email management is a full time job. I try to respond to everyone but sometimes I cut corners and skip ones that seem crazy, rude or if there seems to be no value in it for me (I know that sounds harsh, but it’s a big, bad world out there and it’s time you knew *smile*.)

About a week ago I received an email that I chose not to respond to because I was super busy that day, although I would have normally sent a quick response to this type of email. This is it:

Subject line: Chickens

I’m bad at subject lines, so I just end up typing random stuff.

So I stumbled across a video of yours, and you scared the crap out of me, but I was a bit intrigued about the woman behind the one I was watching stand on some dudes face. Not a fan of domination, but whatever, I was intrigued to say the least.

Did a little “Google” homework and discovered you actually seem to be a really nice lady through reading your blog. After watching a few videos of yours I just assumed you would go around stealing children in the night and drinking kitten blood because of what you do professionally, but through the things you write, it hardly seems to be the case… well, maybe you are a vampire-zombie, but I won’t hold that against you. I joke. Truth-be-told, you seem like a pretty down-to-earth woman, and I can respect your business sense, and ambition to capitalize on a market – in your case – fetish/domination/kittens/standing on dudes heads.

I don’t really expect a reply, but I’ll send this e-mail anyway. I’m a photographer/video producer. I’m not exactly in the porn market, but I have an eye for natural beauty, and I think you have it in spades. I’m not trying to kiss your ass or anything, but I think you have a unique look.

I live up in Syracuse, NY, which is probably the last place you’ll ever end up, but if for some reason you do end up here, I would like to do some non-nude photographs(or video) of you. I tend to do really artsy type shit. Not really in the porn business, but if you wanted a camera guy to do a shoot for that up here in Syracuse, I could do that, as long as you were cool with my style of shooting… never mind, porn doesn’t exist in Syracuse : /

So yes, that is my crappy pitch! I kid. I just wanted to say I respect, and “get,” what you do as a business woman. If you do ever find your way to the frozen wasteland that is Upstate-NY, I would totally love to photograph you, because I do think you have this natural beauty about you, that I don’t think has been captured yet. Cheese I know, but you do have a unique look, and I truly mean it.

At any rate; sorry for eating up your time if you did make it through this email.



Today he sent me another email:

I sent you an email about a week ago. I didn’t expect a response, nor was I given one, but that’s okay because I understand how a business works. I decided to break the ice with you by drawing this awesome picture that I have attached to this email. I hope you enjoy because this is about the only thing I can draw. Good day ma’m.

WTF? (What-The-Fuck?)

My response was as follows. Please take note if you were planning on sending me an email that will take me away from what my time is best spent on: making more porn for my precious paying fans to jerk off to. Sending me flattering emails is not an unselfish act. You are looking for attention. You want to be acknowledged. It is manipulation disguised as being ‘nice’. I am not someone with low self esteem who needs to be told I’m pretty to keep me from committing suicide. If you truly want to GIVE or show your appreciation/respect rather than TAKE then do it with money. I am a business woman. Respect that. To put that in context, read my response and also read Ceara Lynch’s excellent blog post on a similar topic:

I didn’t respond because your email was about me coming to upstate NY, which I have no plans for. Your offer to photograph me is moot unless I plan to come to you to make it happen, which I’m not. You say you understand business…so while I enjoy my glass of kitten blood let me say: if you want a pen pal, I’m not it. If you want to pay for something (a custom vid, a webcam session, pay to see me by bringing me to you or you coming to me…if you want to buy me a gift/tribute, etc.) great. Let’s talk, but you’ll need to show me the money pretty quick for me to take you seriously. I can’t take drawings to the bank. If you aren’t interested in business or sending me any more kitten blood, good day (which means you don’t need to send any more drawings or emails).

Mistress T

Members site:

Still think I'm SO nice? Suck it.

Don't be fooled by cute-ness!

Female Owned & Operated

Since my blog entry talking about C and I starting the business together I’ve had some questions about our relationship and roles in the business. I can move the story along and answer those questions at the same time.

We started the clips store and then the members site. C performed in some of the vids. He is the only male performer I had intercourse with in my vids. He is the only male in all of the shoejob vids. C also ran the camera for all of the scenes. He taught me to edit video early on and I enjoyed it so much I did the majority of my own editing. With my background in sales, marketing and business I did everything else. I answered all of the emails, did all of the advertising, decided on the themes & scenes, etc.

It has always been a female owned & operated business even though C was by my side and involved.

The tricky thing about a ‘tell-all’ story is not violating the privacy of those who are a part of the story. C has requested that I don’t write about our break up and I’ll respect that. I will simply say that it was my choice to end our personal relationship which meant an end to our business relationship as well.

There was a time, not long ago when I moved into a new place, alone, bought a new video camera, lighting and started a new chapter running the business solo. It was a difficult time on many levels. For example, I have always been intimidated by new technology and I was nervous about learning how to use the new camera. It sat in the box for weeks before I even tried to use it. Eventually I began and of course it was fine.

I used to film some of my solo vids with the camera on the tripod and some with C holding the camera. There are pro’s & con’s to both and now that I only film with the camera on the tripod, alone, I feel it’s more intimate. It’s just me and the guy (who I imagine) watching me, jerking off to me. I feel like I can go deeper into the head space of that fetish and moment. I love the vids I’ve been creating on my own.

Of course I can not grow a penis and fuck myself so I will probably need to find new ‘talent’ for the cuckold vids and other vids where I have intercourse. There is only so much one person can do on their own *smile*.

The future looks brighter than ever. In some ways I feel like I’ve lost something that was holding me back. I have started to explore new opportunities and as life often goes, new opportunities are falling in my lap. My step father always says of my great luck: “Luck is when opportunity meets preparation.”

MistressT in a field

"Your actions, and your action alone, determines your worth."~ Evelyn Waugh



Young & dumb in the BIG city

Shortly after arriving in Vancouver I ‘landed’ what I thought was a good job working in a call center. I had had several sales jobs at that point and I was pretty good. I was aggressive and competitive.

My life story is full of important meetings and it never ceases to amaze me how meeting one person can change so much so quickly.

One day as I was coming into the building with my hands full a man held the door for me…then as we waited for the elevator he overheard me telling a coworker that I had just moved from Nova Scotia. In the elevator he gave me his card and offered to help me in this new city. I thought he was cute so I called and we went for lunch. He immediately started talking about his wife & kids which of course freaked me out since I had just had my heart broken by a married man.

He was all business, explaining that he had a lot of contacts and wanted to help me find better employment. I avoided him for weeks but he was persistent and finally he didn’t pussy foot around, told me that working in a call center was a dead end job & he was offering me a real opportunity. A reception position in a big, growing company that would pay 70% of the cost of night classes to do whatever I wanted. He told me I would be a fool to turn it down. He said that he could see potential in me and he didn’t want to see it wasted. I still suspected he wanted to get into my pants but I went for it anyway.

We remained friends for years and he was never inappropriate with me. He always just helped me with my career. 10 years later I ran into his best friend and in an intoxicated ramble he told me that I was blind to not see how much his friend has always been in love with me but would never cheat on his wife…that all of it, the jobs, the help, was just to keep me close to him. I was shocked.

The job, by the way, took me on a path that wasn’t right for me but I tried. I tried to be a good girl. I went to night school for sales, marketing and public relations while working in a big, conservative office by day. I went from reception to marketing and then moved around to a few other companies in sales. I always did very well, but I always hated it. I felt like I was doing what my parents would want me to do. I was climbing the corporate ladder.

Being very untrue to myself I also found myself in a relationship with a very nice man who wanted to marry me and start a family. We had picked out the engagement ring when out of the blue, the married guy who broke my heart called. He tracked me down. He was coming to Vancouver on business and wanted to go for dinner. I went and it was only dinner, although it was difficult to not go back to his hotel room. I still felt the same and so did he. It was gut-wrenching. He was very unhappily married but would stay for the child.

Two weeks later I had moved out on my own and ended the relationship with the nice guy. I didn’t love him the way he deserved to be loved.

MistressT corporate business woman

Corporate Whore, selling my soul.

Why I really moved to Vancouver…

When asked why I moved to Vancouver I often say ‘weather & economy’ but the real reason is that I fell in love with a married man. Here’s the story:


I was 20. He was 10 years older and the owner of the company I worked for. He was married with a 2 year old. After a drunken office party fling that should have ended there we became more involved. We had a month together right away as his wife and child were out of town. We fell in love. He filed for divorce and moved out. Then flip flopped for 10 months until he finally decided (and rightly so) that his child was more important…you see his wife took the child far away and wouldn’t come back unless they reconciled.

I moved away to give him space to do the right thing. I wasn’t about to be his long term mistress and that’s exactly what would have happened if I stayed. The attraction was so great we simply could not stay away from each other.

It was the hardest thing that I had ever gone through…and 15 years later I can tell you it’s still the hardest thing I’ve gone through. Heart break. Losing the person I felt such a special connection to. Anyone who has had their heart broken understands how intense this type of pain can be. There’s certainly been enough songs and poems written about heart break. We all recognize that this pain can be even worse than having a loved one pass away.

So, with a freshly broken heart I packed up what little I had and with $1000 in the bank I moved to Vancouver just before my 21st birthday. I stayed with distant family that I didn’t really know for the 1st two months while I got settled.

Every cloud has a silver lining though. Moving to Vancouver was one of the smartest things I’ve ever done. Also, the married guy convinced me of something important: that I could do ANYTHING I chose to do. He saw potential in me and lit a fire that has never gone out. There are few things as powerful in this life as making yourself completely vulnerable to someone, exposing yourself, giving yourself over to someone and THEN to have that person tell you that you are more wonderful than you ever imagined.

Without that I’m not sure that I would have done all that I have with my life. It drove me to reach higher, to try harder and to believe in myself. Other than luck, reaching higher, trying harder and believing in yourself is pretty much all that separates the successful from the unsuccessful, in my humble opinion.

MistressT FemDom Fetish Goddess Rooftop Vancouver Canada

On top of the world in Vancouver