What will you do…?

Me about 8 years ago when I first got into the business...one of the only pics where you can see my braces!

Me about 8 years ago when I first got into the business…one of the only pics where you can see my braces!

About 8 years ago (about 30 years old) when I started I was already old by industry standards...but you wouldn't have known it.

About 8 years ago (about 30 years old) when I started I was already old by industry standards…but you wouldn’t have known it.

The two most common questions I get asked are:

“How did you get into this?” (As in, how did I become Mistress T, a Dominatrix & adult film performer/producer.)

and

“What are you going to do…ya know, after?” (As in, what will you do when you’re too old to do this?)

For the first question I created this blog. If you read it from the beginning you will learn the whole interesting story of how I got here. I still get asked a lot but usually I redirect people to my blog for the full story & just give them the super condensed version.

The older I get, the more frequently I get the second question. At 38 I’m already a dinosaur in the porn biz. I know, I look younger and my audience tends to be drawn to “MILF’s” or more mature women but still, there is an expiry date in this profession unlike those who work as doctors or lawyers who can continue to practice when their 80 if they feel like it. It doesn’t matter how they look.

The short answer to the question is simply that I don’t know…and the hippie response is that we can’t really know. It’s one thing to have a plan, but life can throw all kinds of curve balls, good or bad. If you even consider curve balls to be either good or bad…but then I’m really doubling-down on the hippie talk.

I had a whole different life before I got into the adult biz. 12 years ago I would never have imagined I would be where I am. I seriously had no idea. I thought I would probably continue in the office world, climbing the corporate ladder. Sales/marketing, eventually management. Life threw me a few unexpected curve balls and one thing led to another. Here I am.

I love what I do & I have no plans to stop anytime soon…I’ll do this for as long as I want to & for as long as I make a living doing it. That depends on my looks but it also depends on the market & how much file sharing impacts revenues for producers…and I suppose there are other factors I haven’t even thought of. Remember: curve balls.

Sometimes when people ask about my future I know they’re really asking about finances. It’s a personal question that’s not really anyone’s business. We’ve all heard the sad stories of 40 year old strippers or porn stars who blew all their money & have nothing. Similar stories for football players or rock stars I suppose? The adult industry isn’t the only one that pays the young well because their careers are shorter than most.

The obvious answer is to move into more of a producer role, creating content with other people…and that is possible…but only if file sharing or other factors don’t impact the industry so much that money just can’t be made that way. Or maybe I’ll do something else altogether? I had a whole life before this & as a result of my varied experience I have a whole list of transferable skills. I’d love to do work that felt like it was making a positive difference in the world, to help others or our planet. I’m a little bit hippie.

Even if I am financially able to retire I won’t. I enjoy having structure & purpose. I enjoy accomplishing things & being productive.

So for now, I’m here for the long haul. Fear not. Fear not for yourself as you won’t be losing me anytime soon and fear not for me. I have always done well & I’m sure that will always be the case.

Best,
Mistress T

Members site: http://www.MistressT.net
PPV: http://www.clips4sale.com/23869
Blog: http://www.MistressT.net/blog/
Twitter: http://twitter.com/#!/MistressTdotnet

Another pic from about 8 years ago. Fresh on the scene & no idea that Mistress T would become internationally known in the FemDom community. I just had fun & didn't worry about the future:-)

Another pic from about 8 years ago. Fresh on the scene & no idea that Mistress T would become internationally known in the FemDom community. I just had fun & didn’t worry about the future:-)

 

Rant-a-licious

Are you fucking kidding me?

Are you fucking kidding me?

This is a rant. I don’t usually go on rants, well, at least not online. Some of you won’t agree with me here. Some of you will think less of me after reading this & I don’t give a damn.

I received a message on Fetlife from a guy saying that he couldn’t believe I was still looking, that he was pretty intimidated by me but thought he’d take a shot at contacting me anyway. I liked how he wrote & although I don’t usually message guys back (I’m a bit of an asshole that way) him saying that he was intimidated by me hit a nerve. I know it takes a lot of balls to approach a woman so I thought I’d give him a chance.

His picture left everything to the imagination. I could basically just make out that he was human. His profile said he was camera shy so I didn’t press for more pictures. I simply offered to meet up sooner rather than later to see if there was chemistry.

A few hours before we were set to meet he messaged me to say he was searching online for my vids to watch. I asked him to not contribute to piracy/file sharing by downloading my stolen, pirated content. So, we didn’t get off on the right foot. I wondered how clueless someone could be?

Within 20 seconds of meeting him I understood the gravity of my mistake. The combination of the lack of pics & his opening line about being intimidated by me should have been a screaming red flag.

The hope that we would at least have a pleasant conversation quickly evaporated as he rambled without pause for 10 minutes straight about a topic I only expressed a vague interest in.

He also talked a lot about himself & I soon learned he was in his early 40’s, unemployed with limited prospects, no plans, & seemed to think the right thing to wear when trying to impress a woman was an old hoodie & unflattering jeans.

I had plenty of time to try to think of an exit plan as he rambled on and on without noticing I was hardly paying attention anymore. When I finally had an opportunity to speak I mentioned that perhaps he should start a blog about the topic he had been rambling about and he actually said: “I should blog. As you can tell, there’s no shortage of things I have to say.”

As I abruptly thanked him for coming to meet with me he started going on about how lovely I am and how much he would like to see me again. All the while I was slowly shaking my head no. But that wasn’t enough for him. He wasn’t picking up the clues. I actually had to say that I wasn’t feeling it. Not interested. Ouch. But anyone else would have clearly picked up the obvious clues (especially me abruptly ending the meeting).

He later messaged me trying to find some way, any opportunity to spend more time with me. Really?!

He seems like a nice enough guy. Maybe the kind of guy who would do anything for ya. I’m note sure. Hell, he could be a complete bastard too. It doesn’t matter.¬† Here’s my rant:

From now on, if a guy says that he’s intimidated by me I’m going to take that as a clear sign that on some level he knows he’s not good enough for me. GOOD: BE INTIMIDATED. Some people are out of your league or just in a different league. I know that a politician or a guy from a high profile rich family who cares about public image is not going to marry a Dominatrix/porn star. I know that if a guy really wants a bunch of kids & a house wife baking cookies for the Church fundraiser that I’m not right for him.

If you’re an unemployed, unattractive guy with shitty social skills & can’t be bothered to be presentable for a first impression DON’T approach an ambitious, well-traveled, independent, beautiful, groomed, successful business woman who has a reputation for chewing men up & spitting them out. What the fuck are you thinking? It’s like hunting big game with a pellet gun.

It’s ironic that the guy I met with today started his correspondence saying that he couldn’t believe I’m still looking. Did he think that I must be desperate enough by now to settle for anything?

I recently received an email from someone who reads my blog saying that I’ll always be single because I’m a dirty whore. I’m not sure if it was hate mail or fan mail but no one can deny that I’m a pretty damn successful whore and a guy who wants to be with me better have his shit together too.

I’m not perfect & I’m not looking for perfection. I’m looking for realistic compatibility. Just because I have a fucked up occupation doesn’t mean that I’m going to settle for anyone with a pulse.
Grrr.
Mistress T

Members site: http://www.MistressT.net
PPV: http://www.clips4sale.com/23869
Blog: http://www.MistressT.net/blog/
Twitter: http://twitter.com/#!/MistressTdotnet

PS: For those who follow my blog closely & are confused because you thought I was seeing someone…well, it’s complicated. He’s still in my life but I’m still seeking… he is a bit of a cuckold & we’ve never been exclusive, sooo….maybe I’ll write a blog entry about non-monogamy & poly relationships at some point.

 

Camping Feb 2014

Lovely camping weather!

Lovely camping weather!

Camping in Canada in February? Sounds pretty crazy, doesn’t it? Well, it’s do-able if you have a heated camper, lots of wood for a campfire & the most important thing: hot springs! Some people call that “glamping” (glamorous camping).

A girlfriend & I have been camping together a few times a year for nearly 10 years. We usually go in the spring & fall but once in awhile we go in the winter. This time we had a couple of days of very cold, sunny weather with no snow. The last morning we woke up to beautiful snow! So we got the best of both.

There’s nothing like sitting in the hot springs with good friends & a couple of drinks.

Here’s a little vid of my trip. You can click on the pic or click this link: http://www.mistresst.net/freemovie/camping-feb-2014

Click to view the vid!

Click to view the vid!

special

Best,
Mistress T

Members site: http://www.MistressT.net
PPV: http://www.clips4sale.com/23869
Blog: http://www.MistressT.net/blog/
Twitter: http://twitter.com/#!/MistressTdotnet

To Be Accepted

I like fucked up shit, okay? Oh, you're into fucked up shit too? Awesome!

I like fucked up shit, okay? Oh, you’re into fucked up shit too? Awesome!

I’ve written about not being accepted. This post is about the flip side, the joy in being accepted.

I’ve recently been reading a biography of a gay porn star & his trials in finding a partner who was accepting of his career. Although I’ve met quite a few gals in the business who have amazing partners, there’s some of us who have had more challenges in our relationships. The biz is often the obstacle, the non-starter for many men.

I have someone in my life now who not only accepts me as I am but celebrates it & shares it. That’s a first for me.

He had been familiar with my Mistress T vids & then we met through a friend several years ago. I treated him as a slave boy, which he liked. Eventually we became friends and gradually (the last several months) more.

He completely understands the realities of my job. He’s been watching FemDom porn for as long as he can remember.

In the past my being out of town so much killed a couple of relationships. He doesn’t give me a hard time about all the traveling. No guilt. No neediness.

He’s into cuckolding, so actually loves that I’m with other men, on & off screen. No jealousy or possessiveness.

I can tell him my darkest, most twisted fantasies & often his are similar. If they’re not, he doesn’t judge. At all.

Like many of you reading this, I have spent most of my life feeling ashamed of the things that turn me on. I’ve had a mix of reactions when I’ve dared share those fantasies with others. Now, I have a job that causes me no end of grief when it comes to being judged by others. Last year, an experiment in online dating & telling potential suitors about my job was stressful. Often men would say they were okay with it but their follow up questions or comments revealed prejudices.

Many of you are in relationships with partners who don’t even know what you’re jerking off to in your private time. Maybe you felt you could never tell anyone or those fetishes developed AFTER you were already married. I feel your pain. It is extremely difficult to find a partner who shares niche fetishes & extremely difficult to be with someone who doesn’t.

I feel very grateful today to be with someone who thinks that I’m awesome in all my kinkiness, who has zero issue with my job, totally gets it & who personally I can be my true self with. If that’s inspiration to anyone still seeking their unicorn, great.

Best,
Mistress T

Members site: http://www.MistressT.net
PPV: http://www.clips4sale.com/23869
Blog: http://www.MistressT.net/blog/
Twitter: http://twitter.com/#!/MistressTdotnet