Sex Ed – Consent Is Sexy

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“Consent” has been in the news a lot lately. Mainstream porn can take a certain amount of blame for giving men the wrong ideas about consent. I’ve said it before but it’s worth repeating: porn is for entertainment, not education.

Consent is sexy guys…knowing that you have a full green light, a clear YES, that a woman wants you…that’s hot. Consent can be complicated though so get informed & level up on your man game.

I’ve just read this helpful article about consent that I’m going to share with you. It references “Club Eden” which is a classy, friendly sex club in he greater Vancouver area. You’ll find lots of other great posts there about swinging/non-monogamy plus useful sex advice. Check it out:


Mistress T

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Questions for a university psychology course.


A psychologist has asked me questions for a university course he’s teaching. I thought some of my fans might be interested in the answers so am making a blog post out of it.

1. How do you see domination fitting into normal human sexuality?

There is a wide spectrum of Domination in sexuality, from a subtle power exchange of one person initiating or being on top in a sexual position, to light bondage, role play, or harder impact play, spanking, paddling, etc. The specific activities aside, I think people often experience at least a subtle sense of being more submissive or more Dominant in a sexual encounter. That can be thrilling. To either be pursued & ‘taken’ enthusiastically or to be the one with more control in the situation. The spirit of that can make sex more exciting, even if in your own head you feel it without telling the other person, to use your imagination & pretend you are submitting or Dominating. For example, without thinking of “Domination” I’m sure a lot of women enjoy being on the bottom in the missionary position, which is in a sense, a submissive position.
2. What about you makes you popular with the men who are your fans? Are these things common to or possible in all dominant people (or people being dominant), or are they particular to you?

For me specifically there is a confidence that my fans seem to be drawn to. Confidence seems to go hand in hand with Dominance so I feel that quality is common in most or all Dominant people. I’d like to say that being perceptive/empathetic & intelligent are also valued by my fans but wouldn’t say those things are necessarily common to all Dominant people. Human sexuality is complex. Dominant people are just people who enjoy being in control. There are as many different types of Dominant people as there are fans or submissives with different tastes & interests.
3. How is what you do healthy for a person’s sexuality – yours or the sexuality of the fans?

This is a highly individual answer but I’ll answer with some examples. Some of my fans have secret fetishes that they do not feel comfortable sharing with their wives. Maybe they like to dress up in women’s lingerie or they have a foot fetish. Maybe their fetish developed after they were married and their wife just wouldn’t be understanding about it. Maybe they don’t even have sex anymore so she especially wouldn’t be interested in indulging his sexual interest. By watching my vids he gets an outlet. He gets to indulge in his fetish without cheating on his wife, or asking her to do something she’s not comfortable with. Maybe he doesn’t get to play out his fantasies exactly as he’d like to but he at least gets to let the pressure off. Have a little harmless fun.

Another example: Some of my fans are in control at work & home. The have a lot of responsibility/pressure/stress. Someone else being in control for even a few minutes is like a weight being lifted off of them. A mini-mental vacation. They can watch a 10 minute “masturbation instruction” vid where I tell them to stroke & ejaculate on command, maybe with a count down, like it’s a game and they are happy to just take orders from someone else for a little while. To escape their normal lives. After that they are refreshed, more relaxed & able to return to their normal lives a little lighter. It helps them be better boss’s, better parents, husbands, etc.

Yet another example: Sometimes my vids help men to be better lovers. Men with premature ejaculation issues can learn orgasm control through my vids.
4. Is there a line that you see where domination crosses into something unhealthy? If so, how would you describe where this could become unhealthy?

In extreme situations Domination could be associated with non-consensual sex, verbal or physical abuse/violence. There are people with mental health issues who Dominate in unhealthy ways…but mentally healthy people who enjoy incorporating Dom/sub play into their sex life usually have no desire to harm their partners beyond their limits. It’s important to learn to play safely, to respect boundaries, etc. The vast majority of people who engage in mild to wild Domination play do so in a healthy way, whether solo (masturbating to vids) or with partners. Even porn addiction isn’t that different from Netflix binging, Facebook or other social media addiction, video games, etc. Sexual pleasure is healthy, mentally & physically. However you find that pleasure among consenting adults is ALL GOOD.

(A side note about porn addiction: In mainstream porn young men can get the wrong idea about what real sex is like & essentially ‘train’ themselves to only be able to get hard & cum from this kind of stimulation. I don’t feel like Domination porn quite has the same effect but it’s possible that if a young man only ever masturbated to porn of women Dominating men he may have a difficult time adjusting to real life sex with a woman who is not Dominant. This would be more of an extreme situation. Ideally, watching porn would expose a person to a variety of scenarios & actually educate them, stimulate their creativity & help them to feel more comfortable with their sexuality.)
5. Is domination something that is consistent with your general personality (as your friends and loved ones in life have known you), or is it very different from the way you are in life on a day-to-day basis?

Mistress T is a persona…but is certainly close to who I am off screen. I have always been a naturally confident, self-assured person who likes to be in control. Not to the point of arrogance, bullying or an inability to allow someone else to take the lead. Day-to-day I am pretty relaxed & goofy.
6. Do you think that domination (or submission) is something that every person should try out, or is it an interest that only some people would probably have an interest in?

I think every person who feels like trying it, should. That doesn’t mean it’s for everyone. Most people, if they were very honest, would know instinctively whether they feel drawn to or curious about Dominating or submitting.  Some simply have no interest & that’s fine. As I said before, human sexuality is very complex. If every person you know could anonymously let you know what their sexual fantasies are I bet you would be hard pressed to figure out what ‘normal’ is. There is no so such thing. If we all wore t-shirts with our sexual fantasies written on them it would not be long before we all became more accepting & less shocked but what we think is ‘taboo’ or abnormal.
7. We have a wide range of students with a wide range of belief systems, from atheist to conservative Christian. Do you have a message to share with university students who are strongly Christian that may help them to approach, learn, and think about domination instead of just throwing it out and labeling it as immoral or wrong?

Do Christians think that Domination is immoral or wrong? Gosh, I didn’t realize. Do you mean they think God will judge them & they won’t get into heaven? I suppose if someone thinks sex is only for reproduction & not enjoyment then anything like this is going to be too far of a leap. Sorry, otherwise I just don’t quite understand how religion plays into this? I realize my moral compass might be a little fluid after all the years of depravity I’ve engaged in…but my opinion is that what happens between consenting adults in privacy is their business. If it feels good, do it. The world needs happy people & sexually satisfied people tend to be less stressed & in a better position to do Gods work/helping your fellow man, etc.

Satan is RIGHT behind me...isn't he?! He's already stolen my nose, I can feel it! So why am I still smiling?

Satan is RIGHT behind me…isn’t he?! He’s already stolen my nose, I can feel it! So why am I still smiling?

A note about Domination & sexuality. The book & movie 50 Shades of Grey started a lot of discussions about Domination. Those who are informed on Domination often criticize it for portraying things incorrectly. Some consider the scenario’s to be closer to abuse than safe, consensual Domination. Criticism aside it did put a spotlight on the undeniable fact that many people, especially women are curious or interested in Domination, kinky sex, BDSM, bondage, fetishes, role-play, etc. The internet has opened up the world of kink to those who may not have had access to information before. People are curious, they are asking questions, exploring & becoming more accepting. Those who judge & condemn other people for their sexual preferences are rightfully becoming the endangered species. Each of us has to live our own lives & we owe it to our 80 year old future selves to make the best of the years and not saddle ourselves with “what if’s”, “should have’s” & regrets. Be true to yourself.

Mistress T

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Tips For Better Pussy Worship


There’s hundreds of articles out there on improving your oral skills…but a lot of guys learn how to lick pussy badly from watching mainstream porn movies…so here’s one more article to hopefully put men on a better a path.

I’ll start from the basics & go from there, so be patient if you feel like you already have a handle on things.

Go slow. Slower. Even slower.

– Don’t rush in. Take your time seducing a woman’s pussy. A pussy is most responsive when it’s anticipating contact, aching for it. So tease the surrounding areas starting from far away (like the neck or ankle, but at least the inner thigh). Then start with breath or a very light, wet finger (spit discreetly on your fingers).

Pro tip: This is a great time to compliment her lady parts unless you’re operating in complete darkness: “You have a beautiful pussy.”

Observe Her Responses.

– Some women will verbally tell you what they like but if not, follow her cues: body language, breathing, moans, how her tummy moves, if she spreads wider, etc. Every guy doesn’t like his dick sucked the same way & every woman doesn’t like her pussy licked the same way, so don’t expect the exact moves to work on everyone. Figure out what SHE likes.

Pro tip: Ask for guidance: “You can tell me how you like it, or when you want more of something I’m doing right….so I can figure out how to blow your mind.”

The Clit & Beyond.

– Everyone knows by now that most women cum from clitoral stimulation & most men can figure out where the clit is by now but if you can’t find it, for the love of god, ask her to show you. You can mask your ignorance & up the kink factor by asking her to touch herself for you…just for a moment, say that you want to see how she touches herself…& then LOOK where she touches herself. Bingo-ringo: do that with your tongue. Start slow & gently. You can lick around the other areas going back to the clit in increasing frequency, pressure & speed as she gets closer to orgasm.

Pro tip: It’s not a race to orgasm. Some women take a long time but assure her there’s no rush, that you love being down there. Switch off with your hand if your jaw is locking up.

Finger Bang?

– Some women like a finger inserted, some like 2. Some like the whole hand. Some none at all. Some like g-spot stimulation (which you need to finger bang her or use an insertable toy to reach.) This can be a tricky one & you’ll need to ask her point blank or watch her cues very carefully to figure out how she feels about being inserted while being licked.

Pro tip: Always make sure whatever you put in there is well-lubricated. Spit, even if you think she’s wet. No such thing as too slippery. Purrrr.

Love That Pussy.

– Make sure you are sending all the right signals that you are loving that pussy. Moan a little. Tell her you love her pussy. Tell her you love the way she tastes, smells, looks (but don’t blather on, you’re down there to do a job). Don’t make her feel like you’re just licking her pussy out of obligation just to get to the sex. Forget about your own dick, needs, orgasm for the time you are devoted to her pussy. Make her feel like licking her pussy is the only thing in the world you want to do & you want to do it perfectly.

Pro tip: If possible, offer to lick her pussy & nothing else, at least sometimes, or the first time, whatever. Maybe she’ll insist on sex after because that’s what she likes but give her a chance to enjoy being spoiled only & have it all about her. This may have bigger pay offs in the long run.

This article doesn’t cover everything. I could talk about adding toys into the play, incorporating dirty talk or role-play, I could discuss the pro’s & con’s of beards or stubble vs. smoothly shaved, g-spots/squirting, etc. But maybe another day. Or feel free to ask me a question in the comments area.

Mistress T

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