What I’m NOT into.

Posted on December 8, 2016 by Mistress T

Let’s have a frank chat…

I just tweeted asking for blog suggestions & someone requested ‘capnolagnia’ which I had to google. That’s the fancy term for smoking fetish.

I decided to do a post about what I’m personally not into or what I don’t do & why you won’t see me doing it in vids (even if I’ve done it in the past), cuz, what the heck.

Smoking Fetish: Growing up both of my parents smoked. It was the 80’s & it was more acceptable back then. They smoked in the house & they smoked in the car. I grew up smelling like an ashtray. In my early teens they decided to quit but my mother couldn’t do it. She continued to smoke behind my fathers back for months & I observed that bullshit right at the time a lot of my friends started smoking. I thought: “fuck that”. She never did quite & I’ve had a very negative visceral response to the smell of cigarette smoke my whole adult life. So you will never, ever see me smoking a cigarette or using a slave as an ashtray. I’ve done vids with other Dommes smoking & slaves being used as ashtrays but it’s really, really not my jam.

Shoe jobs/boot jobs: I was in a relationship with a guy for years who had this fetish. Not only did we film those shoe jobs but I also did many off cam, just for him. He used to take a long time to cum & my leg would cramp up from the repetitive motion. When we broke up I swore I’d never give another shoe job or boot job again…& I haven’t.

Enema’s: In my early days as a Pro Domme I did a few sessions where I administered enemas to clients. I can sort of get my head around the fetish from the clients perspective but from the Dommes point of view I don’t really get it. It’s smelly & strange. No judgement of those into this but it hasn’t been presented to me in a way yet that appeals to me.

Adult Baby: I know this is a very popular fetish & although I get the ‘nurturing’ part of it I’m not comfortable having a guy pretend to breast feed on me & the whole diaper thing really puts me off. I associate it more with incontinence in the elderly or disabled than a baby. I’ve never been around babies so I don’t have a lot of personal experience to draw on. Even the idea of doing a POV vid (just me talking to the camera) makes me uncomfortable. Sure, part of it is the idea of doing anything sexual with a baby gives me the heebie-jeebies but I understand that’s not really what the fetish is about. Not meaning to insult those who are into it, I know the psychology is complex for this one, it just into my thing.

Pony Riding/Asshole Licking: This one is deeply personal. Long-time followers will know that I did dozens (hundreds?) of these vids for Club Stiletto in the past. Often with the same slave, known as Gaspman. He was a strong pony & I felt very comfortable doing facesitting/asshole worship scenes with him. He was a true gentleman & a very, very close friend. He passed away last year after a long, brave battle with cancer. It was extremely hard on me. Filming with Club Stiletto or doing similar scenes is just too raw for me. I’m not sure if I’ll ever do them again.

Scat: It’s illegal & despite me dabbling in it in the past I have not had anything to do with it for years (beyond the occasional ‘toilet talk’ scene which still sells disturbingly well). This fetish seemed to bring the nuttiest, most relentless & annoying type of fan. Spoiler alert: I’m not into it. Sorry to burst your bubble, I know I’m a convincing actress & I’ve created some fantastic vids for scat fetishists but please stop emailing me graphic emails, I don’t want to read them. I mute or block guys who tweet me about shit/scat so just don’t. Go find a Domme who currently advertises that she caters to that fetish. Go.

Giantess: I used to love this fetish. The vids were fun to create, but 2 things happened: 1. Piracy. The market for Giantess is small so they ban together to share content really effectively. 1 guy buys the vid & shares it with hundreds of others which means that I don’t make enough money off the vid. 2. The payment processor for my members site decided that me swallowing or stomping on the little fella in those scenes was too close to fantasy snuff & asked me to remove them. Bizarre but fuck it. So I don’t film them anymore. I would still consider it as a well-paid custom vid that I just put on my clips store (not my site) so if you miss my Giantess scenes & want to order a custom just email me.

Peddle pumping: Just no.

Cum on my face or cum in my mouth: Unless it’s by accident I don’t aim that hose at my face. Splooge stings the eyes, messes up the make-up & hair…& it’s a degrading act, in my opinion. I also HATE the taste of cum. Once in a blue moon I’ll shoot it on my tits, it’s not big deal…but not my face, not on purpose anyway.

This is feeling like a really negative post so I’ll wrap up the “don’t do’s” & remind you of some of the things I love & that I’m good at:

Cuckolding
Encouraged Bi
Strap-on
Orgasm control/edging/hand jobs
Humiliation
Ass Worship (just not so much specifically tongue on asshole these days)
Ballbusting
Adult Son/Mom fantasies (very different from Adult Baby)
Chastity
Foot Worship

Mistress T

Note: My NEW IWantClips studio: https://iwantclips.com/store/57715/Mistress-T

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Who am I?

Posted on October 11, 2016 by Mistress T

This blog was set up for you to get to know me more intimately…& on twitter recently I invited fans to ask me questions that I would answer on my blog. It seems there is a lot of interest in learning more about me, the woman behind Mistress T. So here’s a bunch of random stuff, using your questions as a guide.

What are you passionate about? I am a feminist, vegetarian, animal-lover, atheist. I’m passionate about human-rights issues & equality. I’m anti-discrimination, I have ZERO tolerance for racism, homophobia, sexism, etc. I’m concerned about environmental issues & do what I can to reduce my impact.

How do you stay in shape? I’m blessed with good genes but I also eat very carefully (no meat, very little sugar, deep fried foods or processed foods, easy on the carbs, etc.) I do yoga, recently started doing aqua-fit & I walk a lot.

Trump or Hillary? I’m Canadian so can’t vote in the US election but I would NOT vote for Trump because he would be a disastrous choice no matter how you look at it. Period.

Would you be submissive? I’ve often been asked if I would ever consider “switching” & trying being submissive. If you read my blog from the beginning there is a part where I talk about dabbling as a submissive in my early days in fetish, at parties, way before I got into private sessions or video. I loved the exhibitionism but submitting wasn’t my jam. I hate pain & getting Dominated just makes me angry. I’m naturally Dominant but I don’t need to actually be Dominant all the time. I’m actually just as happy to be equal with someone. But if you’re hoping to see me in a scene where I’m being spanked, tied up, Dominated: forget it. It will never happen.

Along those lines, it is unlikely you’ll see me in scenes with big production companies like “Blacked”, etc. Going from filming my own scenes for years & working with companies like The English Mansion & Club Stiletto where it’s very much a collaboration & I’m still very much in control, the idea of just being a performer who is directed to do sexual acts with someone I possibly haven’t even met before…doesn’t hold much appeal.

I know some fans crave to see me in certain situations, some would love to see me take a load of cum on my face, get fucked by several well-hung black guys, get fucked in the ass, be Dominated, etc. But my body: my choice. I decide.

Biggest joy and biggest frustration about what you do? Biggest joy: I love being creative & performing. I always have. I was in every school & church play when I was growing up. Biggest frustration: Email. Just reading my email often puts me in a bad mood. It’s a never-ending shit river of time-wasting annoyance. Reading ‘complimentary’ emails from guys who openly state they only watch my vids on free-sharing sites (so have never paid) but just have to waste my time telling me that I’m ‘the best’ to guys sending requests for sessions in random places all over the globe. Of course, it’s worse than you could imagine. I have to read it all to get to the few emails that need my attention, like custom vid requests, actually worthwhile film slave applicants, the rare session I decide to take, etc. Doesn’t sound like a big deal? Many peers I’ve met says the same thing. Dealing with emails in this biz is amazingly frustrating & over time is wears on you.

How did your family react when you told them or they found out you’re in the porn biz? I get this question a lot & have addressed it at least a couple times in my blog but again: not a big deal in my case. I was about 30 when I changed careers from sales & marketing in the vanilla world to the adult industry. I had already lived away from my family for 9 years, had invested in real estate, traveled the world & demonstrated I was able to make smart decisions for myself. They didn’t worry about me. As long as I was healthy & happy they didn’t judge. Which leads me to the other question I get a lot…

What will you do AFTER porn??? As the years go by I get this question more & more. I am 40 now & have been in the adult industry for a decade so I understand why some folks are checking my expiry date & exit strategy. There is a cliche about women in the porn industry being reckless with their money & having expensive habits (drinking, drugs, gambling, leech boyfriends, etc.). We’re not all like that. In fact, most of my peers are careful with their finances. In my case, I started investing in my retirement in my early 20’s, I invested in real estate before I turned 30. Financial security has always been a priority for me & I’ve been smart and lucky. When I am done with porn I’m not sure what I’ll do but I’m not worried. I’ll still want to keep busy & productive. I’ll have transferable skills & will find something I enjoy. At this time I’m trying to get a book written & I’ve started the free T-Time Sex Ed series. My future might include more writing, education, speaking engagements, advice columnist, performing in some other way, something that helps people, animals or the environment…money won’t be the main motivator so I’ll have the freedom to do what I enjoy with less concern about finances.

How can a slave make himself worthy? A lot of fans want to serve me, interact with me in some way, online or in person. The charitable part of me wants to give every guy what he so badly wants. But the part of me that’s in charge of self-care knows that I don’t have the energy to give that much of myself. I work toward work-life balance & that means turning down 90% of the requests I get for online or in person one-on-one interactions with fans. The few that earn my attention pay generously & have excellent manners.

Are you religious? Favorite flavor? Favorite fiction book? Do you ever wear granny panties? Ever played video games? Atheist. Good dark chocolate with lavender. Fresh sun-warm berries or cherries just picked. A nice cup of Jasmine Green Tea. To name a few. Recent favorite speculative fiction: Margaret Atwoods MaddAddam Trilogy. I don’t wear any panties. Ever (except as part of a sexy outfit for filming or fetish/sex parties). I pretty much live in yoga pants/leggings, sometimes flannel pj’s. When I was a teen I played tetris at the arcade & Super Mario at a friends house. Pong a bit as a kid. That was pretty much it.

What do You think of the friend Zone? What do You think of “nice guy syndrome”? Thank You Mistress I think the world needs more guys who are genuinely kind, respectful & thoughtful. Some girls might get a thrill out of bad boys but emotionally mature women, especially those who have had enough of getting treated like shit by bad boys, will one day appreciate a nice guy. Life is not all about getting laid. If you’re angry because girls won’t fuck you, than you’re probably not really a nice guy. Girls don’t owe guys sex. Having real friends & a sense of community is more meaningful than one-night stands. If you really want meaningless sex pay for an escort or go on Tinder to get your fix. I think if your biggest complaint is the too many girls want you to be their friend but don’t want to fuck you than you should consider yourself pretty lucky in life. Think about it. If a real romantic relationship that includes sex is what you’re after try looking for women who you have things in common with & accept those friendships while being open to them developing into more, without expectation. All kinds of different people find partners, you can too, but in the mean time be good to yourself & appreciate what you already have.

That’s it for today! Feel free to submit more questions in the comments area below & maybe I’ll do a follow-up post.

Mistress T

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Questions for a university psychology course.

Posted on September 25, 2015 by Mistress T

A psychologist has asked me questions for a university course he’s teaching. I thought some of my fans might be interested in the answers so am making a blog post out of it.

Questions:
1. How do you see domination fitting into normal human sexuality?

There is a wide spectrum of Domination in sexuality, from a subtle power exchange of one person initiating or being on top in a sexual position, to light bondage, role play, or harder impact play, spanking, paddling, etc. The specific activities aside, I think people often experience at least a subtle sense of being more submissive or more Dominant in a sexual encounter. That can be thrilling. To either be pursued & ‘taken’ enthusiastically or to be the one with more control in the situation. The spirit of that can make sex more exciting, even if in your own head you feel it without telling the other person, to use your imagination & pretend you are submitting or Dominating. For example, without thinking of “Domination” I’m sure a lot of women enjoy being on the bottom in the missionary position, which is in a sense, a submissive position.
2. What about you makes you popular with the men who are your fans? Are these things common to or possible in all dominant people (or people being dominant), or are they particular to you?

For me specifically there is a confidence that my fans seem to be drawn to. Confidence seems to go hand in hand with Dominance so I feel that quality is common in most or all Dominant people. I’d like to say that being perceptive/empathetic & intelligent are also valued by my fans but wouldn’t say those things are necessarily common to all Dominant people. Human sexuality is complex. Dominant people are just people who enjoy being in control. There are as many different types of Dominant people as there are fans or submissives with different tastes & interests.
3. How is what you do healthy for a person’s sexuality – yours or the sexuality of the fans?

This is a highly individual answer but I’ll answer with some examples. Some of my fans have secret fetishes that they do not feel comfortable sharing with their wives. Maybe they like to dress up in women’s lingerie or they have a foot fetish. Maybe their fetish developed after they were married and their wife just wouldn’t be understanding about it. Maybe they don’t even have sex anymore so she especially wouldn’t be interested in indulging his sexual interest. By watching my vids he gets an outlet. He gets to indulge in his fetish without cheating on his wife, or asking her to do something she’s not comfortable with. Maybe he doesn’t get to play out his fantasies exactly as he’d like to but he at least gets to let the pressure off. Have a little harmless fun.

Another example: Some of my fans are in control at work & home. The have a lot of responsibility/pressure/stress. Someone else being in control for even a few minutes is like a weight being lifted off of them. A mini-mental vacation. They can watch a 10 minute “masturbation instruction” vid where I tell them to stroke & ejaculate on command, maybe with a count down, like it’s a game and they are happy to just take orders from someone else for a little while. To escape their normal lives. After that they are refreshed, more relaxed & able to return to their normal lives a little lighter. It helps them be better boss’s, better parents, husbands, etc.

Yet another example: Sometimes my vids help men to be better lovers. Men with premature ejaculation issues can learn orgasm control through my vids.
4. Is there a line that you see where domination crosses into something unhealthy? If so, how would you describe where this could become unhealthy?

In extreme situations Domination could be associated with non-consensual sex, verbal or physical abuse/violence. There are people with mental health issues who Dominate in unhealthy ways…but mentally healthy people who enjoy incorporating Dom/sub play into their sex life usually have no desire to harm their partners beyond their limits. It’s important to learn to play safely, to respect boundaries, etc. The vast majority of people who engage in mild to wild Domination play do so in a healthy way, whether solo (masturbating to vids) or with partners. Even porn addiction isn’t that different from Netflix binging, Facebook or other social media addiction, video games, etc. Sexual pleasure is healthy, mentally & physically. However you find that pleasure among consenting adults is ALL GOOD.

(A side note about porn addiction: In mainstream porn young men can get the wrong idea about what real sex is like & essentially ‘train’ themselves to only be able to get hard & cum from this kind of stimulation. I don’t feel like Domination porn quite has the same effect but it’s possible that if a young man only ever masturbated to porn of women Dominating men he may have a difficult time adjusting to real life sex with a woman who is not Dominant. This would be more of an extreme situation. Ideally, watching porn would expose a person to a variety of scenarios & actually educate them, stimulate their creativity & help them to feel more comfortable with their sexuality.)
5. Is domination something that is consistent with your general personality (as your friends and loved ones in life have known you), or is it very different from the way you are in life on a day-to-day basis?

Mistress T is a persona…but is certainly close to who I am off screen. I have always been a naturally confident, self-assured person who likes to be in control. Not to the point of arrogance, bullying or an inability to allow someone else to take the lead. Day-to-day I am pretty relaxed & goofy.
6. Do you think that domination (or submission) is something that every person should try out, or is it an interest that only some people would probably have an interest in?

I think every person who feels like trying it, should. That doesn’t mean it’s for everyone. Most people, if they were very honest, would know instinctively whether they feel drawn to or curious about Dominating or submitting. Some simply have no interest & that’s fine. As I said before, human sexuality is very complex. If every person you know could anonymously let you know what their sexual fantasies are I bet you would be hard pressed to figure out what ‘normal’ is. There is no so such thing. If we all wore t-shirts with our sexual fantasies written on them it would not be long before we all became more accepting & less shocked but what we think is ‘taboo’ or abnormal.
7. We have a wide range of students with a wide range of belief systems, from atheist to conservative Christian. Do you have a message to share with university students who are strongly Christian that may help them to approach, learn, and think about domination instead of just throwing it out and labeling it as immoral or wrong?

Do Christians think that Domination is immoral or wrong? Gosh, I didn’t realize. Do you mean they think God will judge them & they won’t get into heaven? I suppose if someone thinks sex is only for reproduction & not enjoyment then anything like this is going to be too far of a leap. Sorry, otherwise I just don’t quite understand how religion plays into this? I realize my moral compass might be a little fluid after all the years of depravity I’ve engaged in…but my opinion is that what happens between consenting adults in privacy is their business. If it feels good, do it. The world needs happy people & sexually satisfied people tend to be less stressed & in a better position to do Gods work/helping your fellow man, etc.

Satan is RIGHT behind me…isn’t he?! He’s already stolen my nose, I can feel it! So why am I still smiling?

A note about Domination & sexuality. The book & movie 50 Shades of Grey started a lot of discussions about Domination. Those who are informed on Domination often criticize it for portraying things incorrectly. Some consider the scenario’s to be closer to abuse than safe, consensual Domination. Criticism aside it did put a spotlight on the undeniable fact that many people, especially women are curious or interested in Domination, kinky sex, BDSM, bondage, fetishes, role-play, etc. The internet has opened up the world of kink to those who may not have had access to information before. People are curious, they are asking questions, exploring & becoming more accepting. Those who judge & condemn other people for their sexual preferences are rightfully becoming the endangered species. Each of us has to live our own lives & we owe it to our 80 year old future selves to make the best of the years and not saddle ourselves with “what if’s”, “should have’s” & regrets. Be true to yourself.

Best,
Mistress T

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Blog: http://www.MistressT.net/blog
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Do I remind you of anyone?

Posted on July 29, 2015 by Mistress T

Girl next door?

Over the years I’ve had a lot of guys tell me that I remind them of someone from their real lives. I’m not sure how common this is for sex workers/Pro Dommes/escorts, etc.?

Often it’s an ex girlfriend or a love interest from their past. There is an element of nostalgia in these encounters. They sometimes fantasize that they are reuniting with a grown up version of a teenage love from 20 years ago or so. In one situation I was able to help a guy work through some issues he had had over a relationship that didn’t end well. By playing the role of this woman I could give a different perspective of events, how she may have felt, etc.

I’ve had at least a couple of guys say that I look similar to their current wives. One fella liked to be cuckolded by me & imagine that I was his wife. He wanted so badly to see his wife fuck other men but she wasn’t into it. He lived out those fantasies with me.

Imagine I’m your wife…getting fucked by another man…

I’ve had guys say that I remind them of their aunt, mom or mothers friend. Someone they had a crush on when they were younger. Sometimes a school teacher or someone in an authoritative position. We role play fantasies that would have been too taboo to play out otherwise.

Did you do your homework???

Men are very visual & I understand they often like a certain ‘look’. I’ve kept basically the same hair style & haven’t gotten tattoos & piercings like a lot of my friends. Partly because of my job, for those who fantasize I’m a 1940’s pin-up model or Hollywood actress. Or to make it easier for those who are pretending I’m someone else. I don’t mind though. I like my look.

I find it fascinating that men can imagine that I am someone else, someone who meant or means something special to them. That I can help them fulfill fantasies or work through unresolved issues. This is one of the more interesting parts of my work.

Do I remind you of someone? Or are you a woman in a similar line of work who gets told by a lot of men that you remind them of someone? Feel free to share in the comments!

Best,
Mistress T

Members site: http://www.MistressT.net
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Blog: http://www.MistressT.net/blog/
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Does Your Family Know What You Do???

Posted on June 25, 2015 by Mistress T

Me in flannel PJ’s

For today’s un-sexy but intimate blog post I answer a recent question from a fan (& the frequent question of “Does your family know what you do?”):

“Since you have spoken a bit about your personal life, I just wondered how a mistress is perceived in her immediate family ? How do parents, cousins, siblings, neighbors look at you? Is there awe/fear/bemusement/curiosity/disgust/quiet acceptance?
At family functions are you a celebrity or is there finger pointing. Sorry if i am intrusive but i have always wondered how normal is life for you outside the lifestyle. Sometimes i wonder how my mom or close family would react if i told her/the that i had paid a woman to be able to drink her pee. Wonder how your mom reacted the first time you told her you humiliated a strange man into similar deeds. Just curious since you are a larger than life FemDom celebrity.”

From my person interaction with women in the adult industry I would say that everyone has their own story. So I won’t speak in generalities I will simply answer for me.

My family has some idea of what I do. Most of them don’t understand exactly what I do, they haven’t seen my website & I don’t spell out specific graphic details, but they know it has something to do with sex/porn/being a Dominatrix. Most of them aren’t interested in knowing more. They don’t ask a lot of questions, in some cases because it would just be awkward for them, in other cases because they have too much respect for me to do anything that might make me uncomfortable.

“Respect”? Does that surprise some of you? It’s all about perspective. My family doesn’t see a harlot when they look at me, they see the grown up version of a good girl with a bit of a wild side. They see a woman in her late 30’s who looks great, who has never had a substance abuse problem, never had a gambling problem, never been in an abusive relationship, hasn’t had an unwanted pregnancy, hasn’t been in trouble with the law, has never asked them for money, etc. They see an adult woman who has traveled the world, who is financially secure, who is happy, healthy & living her life on her terms.

In their words: “How can we find fault in how you decide to lead your life?” They respect me & my personal choices.

My family doesn’t see ‘my job’ when they look at me. They ask questions about my travels, about my life in Vancouver…they ask about my love life, they ask if I want kids, etc. They don’t treat me like a celebrity because frankly, the idea of me being a celebrity wouldn’t have occurred to them. They probably don’t even know there are ‘celebrities’ in the kind of work I do.

In other circles though I am sometimes uncomfortably treated as a celebrity. At some fetish functions or meeting people in the kink community. I quickly try to get people to see me as a regular person (with an unusual job). I try to put people at ease if they seem intimidated or in awe of me. I’m really uncomfortable with that in regular social situations. It can happen if someone else has built me up, told them “Mistress T” will be here, “she’s a famous fetish porn star” or if it’s a guy who has run across my vids on the internet & can’t believe he’s meeting me in the flesh. Argh.

In normal social situations I’m goofy, funny, an active listener, curious about other people, empathetic…the last thing I want is to be put on a pedestal or pseudo stage and asked a thousand questions about my work. I prefer to listen than talk about myself.

As for this part of the question: “Sometimes i wonder how my mom or close family would react if i told her/the that i had paid a woman to be able to drink her pee.”

Your family probably doesn’t want to know if you’ve paid a woman to do anything sexual to you. They probably don’t want you to know what they do sexually in private either. Neither of you care to know the graphic details of each others sex lives.

Privacy is becoming a luxury from the past. The internet is changing this & as more people are accidentally exposed people are realizing that there are more people into ‘weird’ things than ‘normal’. Society is becoming less judgmental & more accepting. But most people, especially family members, are learning information they would rather just not know.

Feel free to ask other questions in the comments area & I’ll address them.

Cheers,

Mistress T

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The ups & ‘downs’ of filming with civilians

Posted on April 24, 2015 by Mistress T

“Is that thing going to get hard?”

I have a lot of interesting stories about filming with fans, friends & regular folks. In case you didn’t know already: I don’t hire professional performers. I live in Vancouver, not LA, there aren’t even pro’s here to hire (that I know of).

Each guy has his own story, interests, quirks, etc. Some guys I end up filming with on a regular basis & they’re great. I like the authenticity I get from filming with civilians. Sometimes they kind of flop on the first go. This is one of those stories.

He applied like any other. He sounded good, his pics showed a decent enough figure & a big enough cock…although it was not fully erect. Sometimes it’s hard for guys to take good selfies, so I didn’t think much of it at the time.

He was visiting from another city. I suggested we go for dinner to get acquainted. Over dinner he spoke in length about another Mistress he had been seeing whom he was overly infatuated with. It seems he felt they were at a cross roads where clearer boundaries needed to be defined or they needed to take the relationship in a more personal direction. It sounded like he would only really be satisfied with a more personal direction.

*Insert groan here*

I hate situations like this. I’ve been there with clients & most of the Pro Dommes I know have been there too, in one way or another. Sometimes lines get blurry. If you’ve sessioned hours & hours with a regular client & you genuinely enjoy it & like them…the client can start to feel like the relationship is more personal than professional. They can start to resent paying by the hour. Sometimes clients & Dommes end up in real-life romantic relationships if the feelings are mutual. Rules get bent or broken. It can cause confusion.

I inserted that *groan* because I haven’t a clue what this guy’s Mistress is feeling. I have no idea if he’s a delusional & obsessed or if she has led him on maliciously…or if she is in love with him…I-have-no-idea. So it’s tricky for me to play the therapist when I have no idea what I’m really dealing with…and he very much wanted my advice & opinions. Awkward.

So we try to film a scene after dinner (and after talking about his dilemma for a couple of hours). No surprise: he can’t get an erection. Not even a flinch. It is the softest penis I think I have ever felt. After a little while I ask if he thinks this is going to work…he suggests maybe if he tries himself to get it hard it might work. Sexy as hell, right? I ask if he’d like me to leave: he says yes!

So I find myself sitting in the next room while this guy is wanking himself thinking: it’s lucky I have a strong sense of self worth or it might be a bit of a blow to the ol’ ego to be asked to leave so a guy can get his dick hard. All hail Mistress T: erection destroyer!

I few minutes later I hear a weak “I think it’s hard!” & I pop my head in to see a quickly disappearing micro erection. Like a real erection but much softer.

I called it a wrap. He paid me well as an apology for wasting my time, confessing the whole thing was just an attempt to distract himself from the other Mistress.

And so it goes. Ya win some, you lose some. Fortunately I win way more often *smile*.

Best,
Mistress T

Members site: http://www.MistressT.net
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Blog: http://www.MistressT.net/blog/
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When A Compliment Is An Insult

Posted on March 5, 2015 by Mistress T

I make myself pretty accessible. I tweet & blog a lot. I really want my fans to see me as a person & not an object (as many women are portrayed in the adult biz).

Being accessible can be a double edged sword though. I often get emails that are complimentary but inappropriate.

Picture if you will, my every day life. I wake up, check my email & twitter from the bathroom in the dark. Then I put on music, chill indie or something cheerful while I shake up my protein drink & boil water for green tea. I then answer emails in my flannel pj’s while sitting in front of a large window, sometimes putting seeds out so birds entertain me.

The rest of my day might include a meal with friends, yoga, walking, errands, doing housework, making myself something to eat, going to the spa with friends, visiting a sick friend, talking to family on the phone, writing my book, planning trips, going out to parties, having sex or any number of other things that are NOT work related.

For work I edit, film, tweet, blog, occasionally session in person or webcam…and answer emails.

This is a bit long-winded because what I’m going to say might sound ‘bitchy’ and I want you to see me as a regular person first and not just a porn star, Dominatrix, celebrity or whatever.

I understand the concept of ‘fan mail’. I also understand the reality is that many of my fans have never paid a cent to enjoy my content, yet they still consider themselves devoted fans, hungrily consuming whatever they can get their mitts on for free. Maybe they genuinely can’t afford to pay anything. Maybe the concept of paying has never occurred to them, they are a part of the demographic that just thinks free porn is the norm. In any case, they have never contributed in a positive way to my work. There’s an argument that watching the pirated stuff negatively effects my business but we’ll leave that for today & just assume that they are at a ‘zero’ in terms of positive or negative contribution…

Until…

They send me a long email telling me how much they adore me, how they’ve jerked off to dozens of my vids…but wait until the end to mention that they aren’t a member of my site or anything but they just HAD to write me anyway.

Now they have stolen my time. Minutes that I won’t get back to enhance my personal life or create more great content. Minutes that add up when many guys do this. Each one thinking they are doing me a favor by telling me how sexy they think I am or how much they love my vids. “Compliments’ that turn into insults when they then point out they’ve paid nothing for the content I’ve worked hard to create.

I have to read those emails because they often all sound the same at first (opening with compliments) before the guy gets to the business part: he wants a custom vid, he wants to meet me in person, he wants to volunteer to be a film slave, etc.

Then I feel like a dick for not responding to those ‘compliment only’ emails, which I just don’t have time for. So I end up feeling worse than if he had just never sent the email in the first place.

Here’s the bitchy part that would have sounded harsher if I opened with it:

Do not send me complimentary emails if you have not paid for anything & have no intention of paying for something or contributing in a way that has value to me.

I don’t need your compliments. I do not suffer from low self esteem & I know very well by now how truly wonderful my content is.

If you’re going to jerk off to my content for free at least have the decency to keep it to yourself & don’t annoy me with emails that waste my time.

Capisce?

To the many, many wonderful fans who join my site, buy vids from clips4sale, send me gifts from my Amazon Wish List, tribute or support my efforts in any way: THANK YOU! You make my day, every day. xo

Best,
Mistress T

Members site: http://www.MistressT.net
PPV: http://www.clips4sale.com/23869
Blog: http://www.MistressT.net/blog/
Twitter: http://twitter.com/#!/MistressTdotnet

Click here for my Amazon Wish List!

So, what do you do?

Posted on February 23, 2015 by Mistress T

Sometimes I find myself in the awkward position of trying to explain to someone what I do for a living.

There is no quick way to explain, like saying you’re a dentist, a car salesperson, a criminal lawyer, a bank teller, etc. Sure, I can say that I produce & perform in adult films but then they just get an image of me being gang-banged in every hole by 6 guys at once. Nothing against mainstream porn, I enjoy it & respect those who do that work…it’s just that it’s not really very much like what I actually do.

So I explain that I create niche FemDom fetish films. Then I explain that means that all my films are about Dominant Females and submissive males. Not usually like a leather-clad Dominatrix with a whip in a dungeon, but sometimes. Usually in a domestic setting, often with me doing a lot of talking to the camera to the viewer watching the film.

The person is usually nodding while making a confused face at this point. Like ‘talking’ in a porn film is the craziest thing they’ve ever heard.

I explain that the guys who watch my vids are into the fantasy of being controlled or Dominated by a confident woman. They feel a connection to me because I’m speaking directly to them. Sure, sometimes there is sex if it fits the scenario, like cuckolding or sex slave, but more often I do hand jobs so the guy jerking off can imagine it’s my hand on his cock.

Back up…what’s cuckolding?

So then I explain that. Which is often painful. Especially if it’s a couple & the wife looks interested and the guy looks horrified…or vice versa.

#16. New Hubby Becomes Cuckold

At this point I have them by the short & curlies. They couldn’t be ripped away from this conversation if Jesus himself appeared & started turning water into wine. But for me I just feel like a circus freak doing my dog & pony show. I would happily leave the conversation if the most boring person in the world stepped in to explain advanced calculus.

Sometimes they’ll ask what my name is online so they can look me up. Depending on the person this can be varying degrees of awkward. Do I want this person to see me naked, fucking?

Sometimes they ask something along the lines of how much money I make, which is crass, but for some reason this answer will determine whether they’ll conclude I’m a stupid slut or a brilliant business woman. I usually just smile & say that I do fine. If it’s a female inquiring because she’s thinking of getting into the biz, I tell her it’s not easy-money. I’ve done well where the vast majority have not.

Sometimes I feel compelled to educate & enlighten the masses one person at a time & I spend more time explaining what I do. I’m sure a lot of us have jobs that aren’t quite what people think they are. It’s just that there is such harsh judgement of those who make their living in the sex trade…but in many ways my business is like many others. I pay taxes, I have business expenses, a web site, social media, I answer emails, etc. My education is in sales, marketing and public relations. I’ve applied what I learned similarly in other industries as well as in my adult business.

Anyway, this was just on my mind today so I thought I’d share a little insight into the reality of being me, who is also Mistress T…as this blog is all about getting to know me more intimately. In case you ever wondered what I tell people about what I do. I rarely lie since all of my friends & family know. I just lie if I really don’t feel like giving the long-winded explanation or if I’m sure the person will not be able to handle it. I’ve been surprised often. I’ve been judged harshly by those who I thought were open-minded & I’ve been warmly accepted by those who I suspected would be the most judgmental.
Best,
Mistress T

Members site: http://www.MistressT.net
PPV: http://www.clips4sale.com/23869
Blog: http://www.MistressT.net/blog/
Twitter: http://twitter.com/#!/MistressTdotnet

Penis Size

Posted on February 16, 2015 by Mistress T

I read an excellent New York Times article about sex & what we can learn by what people search on Google. Here’s the article in its entirety: Searching for Sex http://nyti.ms/1CPxwKV

The topic I’m focusing on in this blog post is the issue of penis size. This article says that Google searches indicate that men are obsessed with penis size…asking Google if they have a small penis and how to make their penis larger.

From New York Times article: Searching for Sex http://nyti.ms/1CPxwKV

The article also says this: “Do women care about penis size? Rarely, according to Google searches. For every search women make about a partner’s phallus, men make roughly 170 searches about their own.”

I do a lot of vids featuring “Small Penis Humiliation” specifically for guys who are aroused by being humiliated. I’ve received some serious questions regarding my own personal views on penis size & it has been a challenging tight rope for me to walk. I’m in the business of fantasy fulfillment. I create pornographic content for entertainment purposes. It might be a confusing mixed message for a fan of my small penis humiliation to read or hear me say that it might be okay if you’re not hung like a horse.

I’ve said it before but I’ll say it again: mainstream porn is the wrong place for people to look for sex education. If you believed everything you saw in mainstream porn you would probably assume all men had huge cocks that were always erect & able to ejaculate under any circumstances…among other absurd things (like all women love it in the butt, can deep throat anything & absolutely love swallowing cum, preferably from 6 different dudes at the same time.) Mainstream porn gives guys the wrong ideas about sex like Disney movies give girls the wrong idea about romance. Cuz, honey, Prince Charming isn’t going to gallop in on his horse, rescue you & then live happily-ever-after with you in a damn castle.

But I digress.

Back to me. It’s true that I prefer the esthetic of larger cocks in my vids. Video is a visual medium & it’s entertainment. I cater to the fetish of “small penis humiliation” for those who are aroused by that.

In reality though I think most men will find that most women are happiest with men who run average (6 inches) to slightly larger than average. Not huge (many women complain about painful intercourse when their partners are too large, especially too long) but also not too small. So what is ‘too small’? Under 4 inches & slender I would say. But even then, many women can be pleasured with mouths, hands & toys. If the chemistry is there it really doesn’t matter what your dick looks like (in many cases).

There. I said it. In reality if your dick isn’t huge it may not be the end of the world. I hope most of you knew that already & didn’t need to hear it from me? But I’ll keep making vids humiliating guys with small penis’s because that’s what I do. I’ll also keep the slave chained up in my bathroom, the shrunken men in a jar in my kitchen, the slave laying by my front door to wipe my feet on, the slave I’m sitting on right now while I write this blog and the slave tied to my bed being denied an orgasm for weeks until I decide to film his release…cuz, ya know, everything I film is 100% real. *smirk*

Best,
Mistress T

Members site: http://www.MistressT.net
PPV: http://www.clips4sale.com/23869
Blog: http://www.MistressT.net/blog/
Twitter: http://twitter.com/#!/MistressTdotnet

A Gentleman’s Guide To Submission

Posted on January 14, 2015 by Mistress T

I usually avoid writing generalized “how-to” guides because although some things are universal I feel that every Domme/sub relationship should be customized.

What follows here is only my opinion. I do not speak for all Professional Dominants/online Dommes, regular life non-pro Dommes, etc.

I’ve long said that what I value most in a submissive man is good manners. To be honest, I value good manners in every person. It goes beyond just being Canadian with politeness bred into my bones. It’s not necessarily the formality of proper manners that you often get with the British (which I find delightful), it can be more casual & friendly…but the heart of it is consideration & thoughtfulness. A good submissive simply THINKS of the Dominant’s needs or wants BEFORE his own, every time.

At the risk of over-simplifying it, it really can be that simple. Just putting the Dommes needs before his own.

Taking a slightly different angle, think of it as being cared for. If you are a good submissive you ‘care’ about how your Domme feels. You care that she is happy, content, etc. You get pleasure from knowing you have made her happy. In a similar way as you would feel if you were caring for a sick person, a young person, someone who needs your help, a pet, a wounded animal, etc. If you helped someone change a tire, you would feel good. If you helped an old lady bring heavy groceries up a set of stairs to her apartment, you would feel good. If you saved a puppy that was just about to fall off a balcony, you would feel good. You get the point. The chemicals that are released which produce the emotions that make you feel good are basically the same.

So in a way, serving well is somewhat self-serving. But if you didn’t like the way it made you feel to be a good submissive than you probably wouldn’t be into that, right?

This is at the heart of submission.

Now, there is another side to ‘submission’ that sadly, if more prevalent. The so-called slave who just wants a woman to act as a puppet to fulfill his fantasies. He wants her to do specific sex acts, like piss on him, fuck him in the ass, put him in chastity, kick him in the balls, spank him, cross dress him, make him suck cock, etc. etc. It’s perfectly fine to hire a Professional Dominatrix to perform those services but understand that you are not submitting to fulfill the desires of your Mistress. It’s a different thing.

Many just have a fetish & aren’t necessarily interested in submission. They just like feet, or pantyhose, etc. and that’s fine. But one should always be a gentleman.

In my case, it is possible to hire me to fulfill your fantasy of submission, you can request certain activities, let me know what your boundaries (hard limits) are…and that’s all well & good. No judgement there. It’s how Pro Domming usually works. With structure. But consider the depth & sincerity of your experience. Consider a slight shift in your thinking. Instead of thinking only about the services you want performed, think about how you can best behave to please your Mistress. Find out what she enjoys & try it, even if it’s not top of your list, just to experience the feeling of sacrificing a little to give someone else pleasure.

Personally, I like a strong submissive. A man who is a gentleman. Not a weakling that I can bully & push around, but a man who gracefully chooses to submit to me. I like a slave who has self respect & whom I can respect.

I don’t have a lot of rules to be universally followed. It’s more of a philosophy. If you come from the right spirit than it will be received as such. That is the base from which everything else is built.

Best,
Mistress T

Members site: http://www.MistressT.net
PPV: http://www.clips4sale.com/23869
Blog: http://www.MistressT.net/blog/
Twitter: http://twitter.com/#!/MistressTdotnet

Mistress T

Get to know Mistress T more intimately….

Tag Archives: BDSM

What I’m NOT into.

Who am I?

Questions for a university psychology course.

Do I remind you of anyone?

Does Your Family Know What You Do???

The ups & ‘downs’ of filming with civilians

When A Compliment Is An Insult

So, what do you do?

Penis Size

A Gentleman’s Guide To Submission